Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Mother’s Guilt

      

Okay, I use to dress Chelsea up like a doll;

and take pictures of her.          

You gotta know I couldn’t drive, I was alone, it was winter…

Paris was cold, grey and rainy, and I was from California!            

…with only a teaspoonful of friends who could speak English.

Frenchhusband, who would leave for work before the birds started singing, and would return when the sun had gone down…

Depression was hanging out trying to be my friend!

I was alone with our beautiful baby, and my imagination…

I am found not guilty…but very thankful…

She saved me!

A photo I retook of a photo of Chelsea, 1990

Comments

46 responses to “Mother’s Guilt”

  1. Dawn

    Ah..Look at that face! You are glad you took those photos now..yes?

    Reply
  2. Gena

    Do not feel guilty dear Corey! what an absolute cherub! though I doubt she will allow you to show this one to future boyfriends!but hey ..what am I saying you have posted it on the worldwide web! does Chelsea know? 🙂

    Reply
  3. mad

    This is beyond sweet…

    Reply
  4. stephanie s

    oh my, she is simply beautiful… and patient too…

    Reply
  5. jinxthegypsy

    Thats an adorable picture!

    Reply
  6. Jeanne

    Oh I wish I lived near you I would have kept you company and we would make each other smile~
    Love you darling one.
    You delight me and I love this photograph as I do them all and the words are beyond comprehension to me.
    Love you dearly!
    Jeanne
    X0X0

    Reply
  7. Jeanne

    How brave and wonderful your journey has been and baby just look at you now!
    Blossoming and flourishing and sharing the love!
    Blessings!
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  8. Erica

    what a gorgeous child!

    Reply
  9. kitkit

    No guilt needed – there she is – the centre of your focus and love, what else does a toddler need?

    Reply
  10. Shannon Lewis

    That picture took my breath away when I saw it. You should look into doing that professionally if you’re ever inclined.

    Reply
  11. Britt Arnhild Lindland

    I had two boys first, and then when they were 7 and 5 I got my first doll. Oh, I remember how i loved, loved, loved to dress her up – untill one day in kindergarten she declared loudly that from then on she was going to wear jeans, and became a tomboy for years. She can dress up now, at the age of 16, soon to become 17, but still she is most comfortable in jeans and sweaters. And so are my 10 year old Marta.

    Reply
  12. amber

    LOL! Oh my gosh! She looks like a doll! How could you NOT dress her up? You should feel no guilt. If she didn’t want to be dressed up like a doll, she shouldn’t have been born so cute. That’s life. hehehe.
    🙂

    Reply
  13. naturegirl

    Chelsea could fit into the girly world of Marie-Antoinette!!Beautiful child!:)

    Reply
  14. Paris Parfait

    Such a gorgeous photo of a beautiful little girl! And a creative thing to do while figuring out your new life. I don’t expect any one was harmed in the process! Wonderful post, Corey. I love the way you think. 🙂

    Reply
  15. Kali

    Your baby Chelsea really looks like a little doll ~ this picture is remarkable, took my breath away…
    What a journey you have been on ~ you inspire me with your words, strength and inner beauty.
    Love ya 🙂

    Reply
  16. Shannon (Sentimental)

    She is adorable!

    Reply
  17. weirdbunny

    Oh isn;t she just so cute. So I take it that makes her sixteen now, has she seen you blog today!!

    Reply
  18. jann mumford

    looking at her made me want to pull out some of my favorite photos of my little gal, now 24………they were so fun to dress up! Your daughter is a jewel……..

    Reply
  19. snowsparkle

    i can only imagine how that winter in paris must have felt… but look what it produced! such an amazing cherub with those rosy cheeks. i love her expression… what she must have been thinking!

    Reply
  20. Betty Carlson

    This is darling and I love your description. I was depressed in the winter of 1990-91 too, pregnant with my first Franco-american baby and in Albi! For some reason that winter was especially gloomy, even in the south! Interesting memory for you to share…

    Reply
  21. jennifer

    She is a doll!
    I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult a transition it was for you.

    Reply
  22. Catalina

    I know about that…I am from Venezuela……..and I NEED sun! The picture is beautiful! Chelsea is just wonderful! a beauty and her “no smile” in fun! Something like:…look what I have to endure to make my mama happy……..:)

    Reply
  23. Marilyn

    Priceless!

    Reply
  24. cruststation

    Chelsea is beautiful! Love how you dressed her and the background…wow, everything look so professionally staged.

    Reply
  25. Carol

    Aww what a cute photo, she looks so sweet! I must confess that I’m guilty on dressing my daughter up like an angel or a doll too when she was in that age *oops*

    Reply
  26. mary ann

    a vision of loveliness corey!
    🙂 mary ann

    Reply
  27. andrea

    LOL, you crack me up and you are just so sweet. I love this photo and your daughter was SUCH a beautiful little baby. She looks like a china doll here. Some day she will thank you for these photos.
    a.

    Reply
  28. Ulla

    Isn’t that what mothers of little girls are ment to do??? She looks like a young madonna – waiting to eat her sweets… Precious!

    Reply
  29. Annie

    What a wonderful treasure for Chelsea and not just the pictures. What an imaginative mother. She is one lucky young lady.

    Reply
  30. expatraveler

    such a wonderful photo! But she doesn’t look too happy to be dressed up like that. My expression would have been the same I’m sure..

    Reply
  31. Josephine

    A cherub, truly the daughter of her angelic mother!
    SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

    Reply
  32. Susan

    How beautiful! People say my 10 month looks like a little china doll… wonder if I can find some dolly clothes that would fit her…….. 😉

    Reply
  33. linda

    she looks like a Renoir cherub……….she doesn’t look like she raised her hand when you asked for volunteers:) tee hee…
    tongue in cheek responds:
    Her pouty face, she often had this look…did that stop me? I was having fun…poor little thing have to be poised on a chair!!
    lol she has forgiven me, I think!
    Corey

    Reply
  34. mikaelah

    what a doll!

    Reply
  35. la vie en rose

    i sometimes wonder if that’s why god gave me a boy…he knew what i would do if i had a girl…

    Reply
  36. MCaplan

    So cute! Every mother has pictures that will haunt us! She really does look like a doll!

    Reply
  37. marybeth

    How Darling * delightful! She must cherish these pictures now, and will even more so in years to come
    XO

    Reply
  38. AscenderRisesAbove

    What an adorable photo of an adorable baby; like others mentioned – a cherub. I bet she is glad you took the photos.

    Reply
  39. nea

    But she looks so sad and uncomfortable…….

    Reply
  40. Gina

    Thank goodness for little baby saviors. And what an angel she looks.

    Reply
  41. susan@artesprit

    somehow i missed this!
    awh, i am SO thankful that she saved you! children do that to us don’t they? thank goodness!!!!
    (but i am guilty too, will post one of chloe which i did a similar thing on a regular basis…)
    guilty as charged!

    Reply
  42. C. Delia

    She is adorable…and, honestly, if the worst thing you ever did was dress her up and treat her as a little angelic “doll” for a Winter’s afternoon…she’ll have hardly any dirt to tell the therapist! Seriously, the picture was adorable and I think the pout makes it.

    Reply
  43. Waya

    What precious picture and she’s absolutely adorable!!

    Reply
  44. Merisi

    How touching and how beautiful, both picture and writing! I lived under similar circumstance in Washington, DC with a new baby, husband travelling and no friends at all til I met my still-very-very-very-best friend Bridget. I wonder how many woman and mothers go through similar life experiences.
    Thanks for sharing yours,
    Merisi

    Reply
  45. frenchgardenhouse

    oh my, a year later, and i found this post. I so “get” it…I used to ask my little girl:”are you SURE you have to go to school today?? Wouldn’t you rather stay home with Mommy?” I moved to Holland, in the winter. I didn’t know anyone. Depression was something I had to keep at bay all the time.
    She said NO, I have to go to school! I don’t know why God gave me her sister,7 years later, when I moved back to California, who would have ditched years of school if asked!

    Reply
  46. mad

    This is beyond sweet…

    Reply

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