A Spoonful of Sugar

                    

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down so they say.

My French language skills contain a ton of errors, and I have a heavy accent. So when I meet up with someone who doesn’t want to understand in any language, let alone someone who speaks French like I do. It stands to reason that very little will be understood. It is as if I am peeing in the wind, few of my words hit the target.

Communication is mainly listening and mostly body language, this is to my favor! But if our ears are plugged and our eyes closed our hearts cannot understand.

This morning the carpenter came by, he had to re-measure. He was in no mood to listen to anything, let alone to a woman who spoke with a heavy accent. He calculated and re calculated the numbers, nothing added up. I tried to suggest something and he went ballistic! I bite my tongue, I swallowed hard, and I counted to ten. It took a truckload of patience not to enter into the realm of his anger and frustration. While he was yelling I stood there thinking to myself, he must have alot of pressure in his life to snap like this.

After awhile he calmed down. We looked at each other differently. I smiled awkwardly. My stomach was in a knot. He said he was sorry, I said I knew he would do a good job.

Sometimes the best we can do is to remain silent and offer understanding.

photo: A French 19th century piece of hand written music paper singing of sugar.



Comments

54 responses to “A Spoonful of Sugar”

  1. shabbyinthecity

    My husband would say that you had “heaped coals on his head” from a bible verse…or killed him with kindness…he couldn’t resist your sweet ways Corey! In the end I’m guessing you got a spiral staircase with inlaid wood!

  2. Oh my, its usually difficult enough to deal with workmen but this was above and beyond that. You are a good listener – he is lucky it was you that he was blasting. This picture is lovely — tell me again where I can buy some of your lovely French papers – I forgot where they are listed.
    P.S. Good luck with the project!

  3. Good for you! Silence and a smile in such circumstances are hard to maintain but most often serve us well.
    Darla

  4. Quelques mots en français pour te dire que je trouve ton blog incroyablement beau.
    Il y a des photos magnifiques, à la fois simples et extrêmement élégantes…This is very inspiring…
    Philippe

  5. blackbird

    You are smart.
    We had the tile man in yesterday and I babbled like and idiot.

  6. Love is the sugar that makes everything go down more easily! It dissolves anger and opens our hearts to compassion. We offer compliments to those who have offended us “I’m sure you will do a good job.” Love does not to enter the realm of anger and frustration and opens hearts to the opportunity for love! Magic!

  7. Marie-Noëlle

    Very simply but elegantly you waltz round life and, within three steps, all knots fly swiftly away…
    oh, please, carry on spreading your sugar…

  8. How could he have been so mean to you, sweet Corey??
    Are you sure you said what you meant to say….and not something insulting by accident, LOL.

  9. I say that he’s lucky that he was working for someone who is as kind and patient as you, Corey. I don’t know if I would have been able to offer silence and understanding if he started yelling at me.

  10. constance

    Good for you for taking a breath and counting to ten! Good for you for handling the situation with dignity and kindness! You probably blew his mind. Maybe his life changed a bit for the better today.

  11. Britt-Arnhild

    ….or pee in your trousers to keep warm…..

  12. What a woman!! He and I definitely would’ve had an understanding in “body language”. Not really, but I would’ve shown him the door.

  13. An important lesson you’ve give us today, Corey……thank you!

  14. Brother Mathew

    Hiring a good architect solves these types of problems.
    Corey Responds to her Brother:
    Yo ho…good is the key word here. Are you coming to help since you are the best!!? I’ll serve you nice wine and food, take you to fun places??

  15. How very frustrating. It is difficult enough when two people speak the same language.
    I don’t like people looking over my shoulder as I work, but it is difficult NOT to keep tabs until you are sure everything is proceeding as you wish. It sounds like you made the right choices and I hope the results surpass your expectation.
    Such a beautiful photo with the French sheet music.

  16. Di Overton

    Ah workmen, the same the world over. I admire your patience I would have taken his head off and been left with the job not done.

  17. ally bean

    “But if our ears are plugged and our eyes closed our hearts cannot understand.”
    So true. And that happens regardless of language communication difficulties.
    Hope that your work was how and what you wanted it to be.

  18. stephanie s

    you are such a good soul, always able to see beneath the surface. i, on the other hand, might have killed him…

  19. I so agree with your philosophy! Many a times when I see other people angry, I feel sorry for them, think about the load in their life that they apparently can’t take well. You very probably were like a ray of unexpected sunshine in that carpenter’s day and I’m sure he’ll pay you back in a kind way.

  20. An excellent lesson to start the day. I’m very glad you both came to an amicable understanding.

  21. Mrs.Staggs

    I would imagine that if he was struggling, he may have been embarrassed to have an audience. I try to remember to look for the good in people and to think that they are having a bad day, but if someone had been “ballistic” with me, well he’d probably be out the door! I admire you for being patient Corey, and now he will probably respond by doing his best.

  22. Franca Bollo

    Maybe he was waiting for you to ask him to pose for a photo holding one of your Cinderella porcelain cups? Craftsmen talk, you know.
    Corey Responds:
    He drank coffee, in one of those cutsie little cup…but alas his arm didn’t have the same Popeye look to it. And I think he would of poured the coffee on me if I had asked him or a photo!!

  23. cruststation

    ‘peeing in the wind, few of my words will hit the target…’, you are so funny Corey 🙂

  24. yup… and it takes a truckload of patience!

  25. Well yes it probably is the best thing but I would certainly find it difficult.

  26. well next time I feel this knot in my tummy I will think of you and Mister carpenter , maybe this will work 😉
    always so good to rest here !

  27. Regina Clare Jane

    I fear I might not have been that kind or patient with him… Mary Poppins would not have been very happy with me! I am glad it turned out well in the end!

  28. Literally keeping our tongues firmly in our cheeks would help most of us from time to time, don’t you think? Not to mention those who wish to confront us.

  29. Corey- the “peeing in the wind” really did crack me up. DS would pee in the wind every chance he could if I would let him! btw, he is only 3!

  30. herhimnbryn

    I hope dear C, you did something to dispel the knot in your stomach. And I hope he did a good job!

  31. The only reason I would remain silent is because I wouldn’t have had enough French to yell back at him. I had a man expose himself to me on the bus once-in Paris-and I got up and bashed him on the head with a rolled up poster I had and yelled, “You Pervert! You Sicko!” I’m sure he didn’t understand one word but he sure did turn around quickly and zip his pants up.

  32. Corey,
    Mais oui! Sometimes silence pays stupendous dividends. 😉

  33. words of wisdom…wish I had used that more in my life! Peeing in the wind…LOL

  34. Teresa Sheeley

    Kudos to you for having patience like that, not so sure I could have done that. You are always full of such wisdom. Thanks for making a difference!
    Teresa
    xo

  35. Oh Corey,
    The power of a little silence….

  36. You epitomize the saying “grace under pressure”. I would have blown up and then not have a good, but angry carpenter to work in my house. This reminds me of the old fairy tale “Beauty and the Beast”. Wasn’t it French? You are a beauty! 😉

  37. Humn… you are right. But I don’t like to have to walk on eggshells around someone just because they have a short fuse. Silence a few miles away works for me.

  38. Asking yourself why is probably the better angle to confront a situation like this. As it happens you did and found in your heart that for every action there is a reason. You were patient enough and considerate of another human being before yourself and that’s probably why it went well in the end instead of an all out battle. Too bad not everyone can approach situations in this manner; we then wouldn’t have so much upheaval? You’re very kind Corey.
    p.s. I’m not a professional photographer or poet….I only wish!
    Annabelle ~^..^~ XO

  39. Gypsy Purple-Chamara

    You`re a wise woman Corey…a wise woman!!

  40. Why did I not read this before I reacted to someone who misunderstood me and mis-construed all of my words? Yes. I always say, thank goodness I bit my tongue and walked away. I should remember to always do this. It truly makes a difference. I always do it with the love in my life, and he always comes around. I walk away and he appreciates that and comes back later to reason. Such good advice.

  41. Ah, ma cocotte, you were right. Silence can indeed be golden in the right situation!

  42. tiffini elektra x

    I love this story. You amaze me and I adore that you thought. . .he must have a lot of pressure in his life to snap like this. I love your way of thinking – you rock.

  43. You are so sweet and wise Corey! I have as well a strong accent…sometimes I just say to myself: It doesn’t matter how bad you talk in another language, the goal is to pass by the message, and usually this is done anyways, some people just don’t listen as you say. But your love to others just touch this person and calm his stress…you are so kind

  44. Que tu es sage! 😉

  45. God gave us two ears and one tongue so we could listen more and speak
    Your words before you speak
    Is is kind
    Is it necessary
    Is is harmful or hurtful
    Silence is golden at times.
    Blessings!

  46. ParisBreakfasts

    Such pretty handwriting on the sheet of music..
    Such a pretty thought…
    I can’t wait to have you correct my French mistakes 🙂

  47. anger never solves anything.. does it!? but it is so hard not to get sucked in. what cha building?

  48. Wise, wise, wise.
    🙂

  49. Communication – the hardest thing even when you do speak the same language.

  50. Gorgeous picture and lovely post, you are so right about communication. I work in customer service and usually it’s the customer who snaps like this. I don’t think I ever have, I just listen until they calm down. In the end they usually leave with a smile though and I’ve always thought that’s possibly the best feedback you can get from a customer!

  51. shelley Noble

    Wise and wonderful. You are a special woman. Well done!

  52. Veronica TM

    i am so lucky to be able to come here and read your blog! i totally understand this since i also have an accent and some people have gotten irritated with me in the past. you are patient and kind, corey.

  53. Such an important skill to learn: Back away and say nothing. Often, I am just learning, it speaks much louder than the shrillest scream.

  54. Lisa Oceandreamer

    You epitomize grace…and what could have become an ugly scene…did not. For you to think he may have pressure in his life is so like you…you gave this man the benefit of the doubt. There is no language barrier when it comes to restraint and compassion.
    XOXO

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