A Rose my Belle Mere.

               Rosebuds_2

Whenever I visit my Belle Mere (Mother in law,) memories of the past seem to bud and bloom, memories of what it was like when I first arrived in France. Though those memories no longer haunt me, they do remind me of how I have changed.

Living in France has not always been easy. If the Internet and the blog had been around twenty years ago I would have created a very different type of blog. One more thorny than rosy.

The first few years in France I struggled with adjustment, I threw fits instead of reflection. I was depress in a beautiful land. Nothing made sense and my sense of self was missing in translation. I was far from rosy, prickly to live with and refuse to bloom were I was planted.

                Rosebud_close_up

My Belle Mere and I didn’t understand one another. Langauage was one thing, culture another, and our refusal to believe in one another was the thorn in the side. French husband was the pawn that both of us used… we thought we could win, but had everything to lose.

Thankfully time heals wounds. Thankfully the seeds of love bloomed in rocky ground. Thankfully the spirit of forgiveness and grace helped us to rise again and again. 

My Belle Mere and I are friends, France too… nothing in life has shown me more about the beauty of amazing grace… 

                Rose_petal

Thankfully rosebuds hold promise and thorns valuable lessons.

Photo: Roses in the evening.



Comments

52 responses to “A Rose my Belle Mere.”

  1. a wonderful photo ! and wonderful thoughts too…

  2. Let me just say I can totally relate to every word of this post. I have had a very similar relationship with my own Belle Mere and today there is peace and forgiveness in abundance. My “France” has been Texas and I embrace it now too. I think if we lived next door to one another we really could be friends. Ahh, the beauty of the internet.

  3. Beautiful photo’s. I’m glad you were able to come to terms and make peace with inescapable aspects of life. Sometimes things are just worth the effort…..
    Amanda (aka Cottage Contessa)

  4. A happy resolution gives hope and inspiration to us all. It is brave on both sides to move forward and I hope you both reap the rewards in a long and bountiful friendship x

  5. I can’t imagine in-law problems, compounded by language/cultural barriers. Aren’t you the strong one, though, to weather through it all and come out better for it!

  6. your post today? is an inspiration.

  7. The soul is the home of all living beings;
    and from the soul all living beings derive strength.
    ~The Upanishads……..
    I love you.
    You teach me so much each and everyday!
    I love you
    Jeanne

  8. Marie-Noëlle

    Your BEAUTIFUL pictures reflect the long path to the mature beauty of your heart towards your mother in law.
    They can be read as words … beautiful and strong words…

  9. I love the stories of your life Corey. They are so interesting, but also inspirational!
    Thank you for reminding us to bloom where we are planted!
    (And the rose photos…amazing!)

  10. I admire you for staying in France when things were so difficult. I can’t imagine the stress you went through. You are strong!

  11. All of what you speak of is the stuff of life. Some never see the lessons or the beauty. How fortunate that you have seen these things so that you could become an inspiration for so many!!

  12. Some seeds do take a long time to grow.
    But all is well and good. God has time.
    And the bloom is worth the years of waiting.
    Beautiful, Corey. A signature piece.
    All’s grace,
    Ann

  13. Corey, would love to see a picture from that time. I’m sure you weren’t all thorny. I’m not one, but I think it must be difficult to be the MIL so I try to be compassionate with mine. I know someday when my son marries (he’s 12 now, so not for a long time) it will be hard to share him with someone else. Thanks for another sweet post!
    Lisa

  14. Corey, I can totally relate to your post today. I was in a new country, married to a man from a totally different culture. It could have ended up so differently than it did.
    Now we all understand each other and are so grateful for the way things turned out.
    Time, patience and the power of love…!
    I am happy for you.hugs
    xx

  15. You know Corey, I think we’ve all been down a bit of a thorny past at one time or another.
    If only I could take back …..
    You’ve given me some things to ponder upon this morning.
    I’m so happy to have found you. ((hug))

  16. Paris Parfait

    A lovely post, Corey. France and I weren’t friends in the beginning, either – and I didn’t have a mother-in-law to deal with… but at last I have bloomed where I’m planted, almost in spite of the soil! 🙂

  17. You give me hope, Corey! As you know I am still in the middle of the reverse struggle, a European settling in America, my love for my husband being the only thing that keeps me here. I AM prickly to live with and refuse to bloom were I was planted! But I am working on it and hope to become one day the beautiful rose that you are 🙂

  18. I was just getting to know my Mother in Common Law and she developed Alzheimers 19 years ago and is still alive, though really not there. Sad that we never got the chance to let our relationship develop like yours.

  19. Beautiful photos for a beautiful post. I seem to see my own early years in France mirrored here.

  20. Change is never easy for anyone but being a new bride in a foreign country would be slightly overwhelming.

  21. You now have a rose garden Corey. And it is one of the most beautiful, cultivated, yet wild places I know… A master at gardening… the words and pictures you grow feed the soul…

  22. Yes..I understand you very well Corey…I went through similar experiences…and now I al blooming as well. It is not easy to accept and adopt another place and culture to live everyday life -not only been there as holidays- the most important thing I have learnt from that is that I can’t forget myself, wherever I am. To adapt is not to leave your culture aside, is just to integrate a new one to yourself no the opposite. That makes you grow.

  23. My mom in law and I have a very similar start. When she died after sharing 26 years with me, I was truly honored that she called me one of her daughters.
    My love to you both.

  24. Beautiful Post! Corey you have an amazing gift in capturing words and turning them into the the thoughts of the heart. Thank you! Nancy

  25. thank you. i’m still struggling to bloom after my transplant to alaska. there are things i like, and some thorns i don’t know how to accept or work around. but i will follow your example and focus on the blooms. thank you for your rosy blog!

  26. thank you for your post…blessings to you today!
    kara

  27. you made me cry today…for all those of us who never had that relationship repaired…blessings, rebecca

  28. Corey, as always so insightful. You bare your soul to us and give us so much. The photos are stunning, as is your beauty (inside and out.)

  29. New favorite post! Deeply beautiful and insightful. If I believed in cloning you would be my first candidate as the world could use more of the likes of Corey. Thank you.

  30. Time changes everything Corey.
    Rosemary

  31. Beautifully written! I am glad that two lovely roses (you and your belle mere) now bloom in harmony!

  32. You have indeed bloomed and grow everyday…I take away much from this, as always.

  33. a lurker from far away

    i LOVE the pictures!! very impressive work!

  34. A rose is very tough too. They can weather long hot summers, expose their sole in autumn, endure long cold winters and in spring they are once again beautiful. You are definitely a ROSE!

  35. One way or another most of us had the same kind of experience. To have the courage to put it in such wise words, just a few.

  36. How lovely the rose of reconciliation–to time and place and all the players in our life. I so enjoyed reading your very encouraging post.

  37. you would feel the same even if you had been to your own country but still having mother in law… it’s natural, when you leave you are preprared for difficuties and pay more attention to them than normlayy

  38. How beautifully put and what an amazing person you are to reflect and grow from a tough/new situation (not always easy for us adults).

  39. Yes as we bloom in life there are many thorns..I too had a hard time with my
    ~belle mere~ early in my marriage..many thorns to cause me pain but time heals and at her bedside when we said our ~final goobye~….
    she was truly a beautiful rose one without thorns!
    Beautiful photography Corey! Beautiful message.hugs Anna xo

  40. I was prickly too, refusing to bloom in Ireland, but my belle mere loved me from the start. Then when we lost him, we stayed close for many years until she died last year. xxoo

  41. Stunning photos! There perfume was wafting into my office and brightening this grey and gloomy Tuesday. Thank you for sharing your story. P.S. I find it helps to not live tooo close to the in-laws (no matter how nice they are).

  42. Hi Corey,
    I have enjoyed reading of your adventure these last few posts. I would love to walk the La Promenade de Clair de Lune. And eat some of those beautiful macarons. If you have a recipe for those, feel free to share it with me 🙂 Thank you for all of these wonderful the beautiful photos we get to see of France! I am enjoying it tremendously.
    Teresa

  43. Life would have been boring had it been all “rosey”, don’t ya think?
    Time is a powerful healer.
    Even had you blogged then, I’m sure you would have been a “kick-in-the-pants”!
    xo

  44. Corey, we could only be so lucky, that in-laws would like us from the beginning. I never had any problem with my Belle Mere, she was very nice to me.

  45. I think when we finally come to the realization that we are more like our mother-in-laws than we care to admit, we have wasted a few years.
    I no longer have my MIL, and I miss her terribly. I cannot believe I butted heads with her for so long. By the end of her life, we were good friends.
    xo
    Gillian

  46. Gail Sullivan

    Dear sweet Corey,
    As usual, wise words of wisdom. I am so glad that you & MIL have made friends and are blooming together. That we could all be so wise. xoxo Gail

  47. Wonderful and wise words, Corey!
    I can imagine how difficult it is to be an American in France, especially when you don’t speak the language and I’m sure you were quite the surprise for French family!
    You definitely got the harder end of the deal, but you stuck it through, like the tough American woman that you are, and came up smelling like a rose. A weaker woman would have run home. FH is a very lucky man!
    ~elaine~

  48. what an authentic and pure post this was! thank you for sharing such a raw emotions with us, especially when your wrote, “French husband was the pawn that both of us used… we thought we could win, but had everything to lose.”..wow!
    If we all can see the divinity in everyone, there is no need for thorny relationship…congratulations for having this transformational relationship..it’s rare, cherish it!

  49. Such a beautiful, transparent story, you conveyed a whole book in just a few words.

  50. I am so glad that it did work out. You know, I had a difficult time adjusting to life in the States, too. I can relate to those old feelings of feeling lost or having lost my self. Time does heal, though, and so does a change in attitude or perspective. You certainly have found Beauty in Life around you, Corey.

  51. That is very touching.

  52. There is so much to learn from your words, Corey. So, so much. Merci. x

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