Last night I called my childhood friend Shelley to ask her for her coffee cake recipe. Her voice sounded little and scratchy.
"Do you have a cold?" I asked Shelley who has ALS.
"No, I am losing my voice." She replied calmly.
I heard her but my mind refuse to register her words, refused to believe that losing her voice wasn’t because of a cold. So I asked again but differently, "Is it because your throat is dry?"
"No, my words are having a hard time coming forth, I am losing my voice."
The words she spoke were like sards of ice that pierced straight to my heart. The agony of knowing, of hearing my friend telling me she is losing her voice, losing her ability to speak.
I was silent.
Shelley said, "Corey, that is how it is, there is nothing to do than to accept it and carry on."
A cry so deep within me found air, and I cried uncontrollably.
…and as always Shelley with her words growing weak and yet strong wrapped themselves around me as if I was the one who was ill and dying. A hug tender, they seem to be. Silently I said to myself, "Shelley I wish a million wishes that you do not lose your voice… I don’t want to accept this next step. Yet you tell me it is true and it is the path ahead of you?
How you amaze me Shelley with your courage, with your living, with your voice that roars a path large, wide and giving. Shelley how is it that you can be so strong, so brave, so beautiful in the face of death? How I have learned from your words of wisdom. To be true to who we are, to walk steadily along our path with grace. To shine like a beacon for others to find their way.
Shelley even if silence comes to you I will hear your truth and not forget."
Please pray for my friend and send her your thoughts of healing light.
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