Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Standing alone surrounded by Friends.

                Vintage_weddng_wreaths

The woman at the party the other night seemed happy, her smile was constant and her laughter easy. Her young son stood by her side and often had his arm around her, they seemed to be very close. I admired their affection for one another, wishing that Sacha would come sit next to me and lean his head on my shoulder. But he was having fun with his friends and in the end that is what most parents want for their children…happiness.

Last night our friends called us to tell us that the woman at the party (a close friend of theirs) had committed suicide. Even though I didn’t know this woman I felt the shock of sadness. Where were the signs of her depression? Did her young son hold on to his Mom that night because he was afraid to let her go? Had I seen her sadness would I have tried to listen to her heart? In the end did anyone know her pain? Why did she share her silence alone?

We all long for love, happiness and the feeling of well-being wouldn’t it be the gift to give this Christmas. The gift of being present to another.

Photo: Symbols of happiness, tokens of love, a wedding wreath.

Note: Jeanne sent me this video about a young boy’s understanding.

Comments

58 responses to “Standing alone surrounded by Friends.”

  1. Jeanne

    This deeply deeply touched my heart and I am crying as I read it.
    How very very very sad indeed.
    God bless this poor woman and her Son.
    May her soul find peace in Heaven.
    May her son be comforted by love and friends and prayers and God’s blessings!
    How very moving this post is as are they all.
    Love Jeanne ^j^

    Reply
  2. Le petit cabinet de curiosites

    Very touching post . Hope his arms can surround her until heaven

    Reply
  3. Miss Maddie’s

    My heart weeps for this woman.Perhaps the bond between her and her son was so deep that he knew something tragic was pending.
    We can only hope that he has someone to embrace him during this difficult time.
    Susan

    Reply
  4. Miss Sandy

    Oh Corey,
    I am so sorry to hear this news. I will keep this family in my heart and prayers today. Thank you for the reminder of just how fragile and precious life is and the importance of reaching out to others. We never know one anothers pirvate pain but can uplift one another with a kind word or a simple smile. I think today I will send all my loved ones not only my prayers but my words of love and I will extend extra kindness to all the strangers I pass.

    Reply
  5. My Melange

    How horribly sad. I think everyone always wonders *what if*? It is a tragegy, especially for that little boy, who will be missing his Mom.

    Reply
  6. Catalina

    So sad Corey….
    People’s loneliness…always strikes me. It would be so good if sometimes just love was enough..

    Reply
  7. sepia art studio

    we can never truly tell, how much pain the people who pass us are truly carrying.
    i feel sad that the loving boy lost his mother, and the mother lost the light of her life.
    Hopefully the boy is surrounded love and care in this sad time.
    Many yule blessing Corey.
    delila

    Reply
  8. judypatooote

    Hi Corey, oh that is so sad….that poor boy, especially at Christmas time…it’s so hard to understand why one would take their own life, when they have a young one, who seems to admire them…..you are lucky that Sacha wanted to be off playing….for you know he’s happy….have a Merry Christmas… judy

    Reply
  9. nancy

    Horrible, horrible, horrible!!!! the poor woman…and the poor boy left behind! i don’t know what to say….
    nancy

    Reply
  10. Shannon

    I am so sad for the son. I am especially sad for him. I don’t know the woman’s story, but she essentially wrecked her son’s life for performing such a selfish act.
    I pray for him more than anyone.

    Reply
  11. Candy

    Oh Corey – this makes my heart sad. You are so right – the best gift we can give anyone is to be present and listen to their heart. If only she had been willing to speak. Her poor son. I cannot imagine his grief right now. He will be in my prayers today.

    Reply
  12. Mimi

    perhaps the young boy did have a “feeling” that his mom was depressed and wanted to hold her close…
    but he nor you nor any one could know what she had planned to do…
    we had a dear friend who committed suicide, and we all kept asking ourselves if we could have said or done something to prevent it…
    this is a terrible tragedy for the young boy,
    I only hope that someone can help him to understand that there was not anything that he could have done to prevent it from happening…
    My prayers are with him and his family, and with you as you attempt to minister to them.
    Blessings,
    Mimi

    Reply
  13. meredith

    A reminder that appearances of happiness can be deceiving.

    Reply
  14. Massilianana

    So very sad indeed . I hope the boy doesn’t feel guilty or hate his mum for what she did . I hope he finds that she loved him and what she did had nothing to do with him but with herself . Sometimes love is not enough , it seems.So sad.

    Reply
  15. Paula

    Depression is like that. All nice on the outside while withering away on the inside. My heart goes out to this family.
    Corey, I’m never really very amazed at your sensitivity, you are so consistent with it that I come to know what to expect and love that about you.
    It is always good to remember that the holidays aren’t always perfect and that life still does go on in spite of our merry making.
    Prayers to all today.

    Reply
  16. Julie Loeschke

    Dear Corey, I will offer my Rosary today for the woman and her son. Love, Julie

    Reply
  17. jzr

    How horribly sad. I pray that child will not blame himself or get caught up in his own hopeless depression.

    Reply
  18. Cre8Tiva

    sad for all…prayers for her son…this time of year can be depressing for many…sadness surrounds many…i am falling into it because my children will be elsewhere…a quiet holiday alone for me this year…blessing, rebecca

    Reply
  19. eb

    oh my… my heart aches for this dear boy, his mother and everyone touched by this sad event – who is not touched – it ripples out in waves and we mourn for one whose heart was too heavy to carry – and all those who loved her…
    xox – eb.

    Reply
  20. Lorene

    Corey,
    How sad. What does a person say when something like this happens. I hope that her son will be able to make sense of what has happened and find peace in his heart. And so close to the holidays. 🙁

    Reply
  21. shannon in oregon

    oh that just breaks my heart.

    Reply
  22. cheryl

    Oh Corey,
    I was so sad to hear of this woman’s suicide.
    I will offer a prayer of healing for her son
    and all her loved ones left behind.
    How deep the despair must have been.
    I hope that her final rest is peaceful.
    Thank you for sharing this post, so gently
    yet such a strong message.
    Love,
    Cheryl

    Reply
  23. Sheila

    How tragic. My heart and prayers go out to all concerned.
    I hope she is at peace and that her son has someone to comfort him.
    hugs
    xx

    Reply
  24. Lilly

    That is heartbreaking. She must have been in incredible pain to do that to herself and to her son. How painful for him and all surrounding them both.

    Reply
  25. KJ

    This must have been an incredible shock, especially in contrast to the images you left the party with. I will be praying for her son. There is a scripture that says, “What the enemy intends for evil, God turns around for good.” You might be able to reach out to this little guy.
    I had a similar experience years back when I came back to work on a Monday to find out that a very charismatic man had taken his life. I vowed at that time that I would take more time to look beyond appearances. It really has helped me to be a better friend.
    Blessings, KJ

    Reply
  26. Ulla

    When I first saw the photo, my heart broke in its beauty, and then reading the words, silent tears have spilled… taking ones own life is something few if any of us can understand… Your request seems so simple, and yet impossible to give to those who will not recieve it. Thank you Corey.

    Reply
  27. Mrs.Staggs

    Sadly, I have known two women and two gentlemen who have left their children behind, in this way. Being present in one’s own life is the key to being present for others I think. When one suffers from depression as deeply as this woman did,it can be difficult to feel the presence of others. It overwhelms one and makes this life seem surreal at times.
    Yours is a kind and generous spirit Corey, and you are “there” in everything that you do.
    Take care.

    Reply
  28. Beverly

    I’m so sorry.
    This story, and esp. the part of the little boy, just broke my heart.
    Praying for lots and lots of blessings for this little child, and his caregivers, and everyone who touches his life.
    Oh my.

    Reply
  29. suzi finer

    wishing you love this holiday season.

    Reply
  30. susanna

    Oh my gosh. That is sooo sad. I hope that little boy has family and friends who will wrap their arms around him and comfort him. I can’t imagine the pain that she must have been experiencing to lose sight of that little one holding onto her. It’s just so sad.

    Reply
  31. Nora

    I feel for the boy she left behind.

    Reply
  32. melinda

    I feel really sad for her boy . Depression is so deep that I would imagine the woman would not even realize what pain she will leave behind.
    Leaves you stunned when you hear something like this.

    Reply
  33. Veronica TM

    how very sad, for all the souls involved.
    i think your idea for this holidays is the best, the gift of your presence. i have been touched by it every time i have come to you blog.

    Reply
  34. stljoie

    A friend once spent the evening with his friends, me included, the night before he attempted suicide. It was a very serious attempt, he was in a coma for five days. We all felt he was happier than we had seen him in a long time. He told us it was because his decision was made and he felt relief. I feel so very sorry for her child who will always wonder why.

    Reply
  35. Pauline

    TICA – we can be as present as we wish but if the other can’t accept our love, our appreciation, our gratitude, then for them it is as if we did not give it. We cannot know with absolute assurance what is in another’s mind or heart. The best we can do is be there if they need (or allow themselves) to reach out; we must shine, and in so doing, give light to those who cannot find their own…

    Reply
  36. Liisa

    So sad! Suiside is never to be understood by those left behind…The pain will surely leave a deep wound in that boys heart….I cry for every child left without the ones they love. So very sad indeed..it takes away a little of the joy for some nice news I had for You…I´ll email them to You instead!
    Liisa

    Reply
  37. Mary

    The human mind is fragile, sometimes it hangs by a gossamer thread and it may not take a lot for it to snap.
    I lost my best childhood friend when she took her life in her forties – a time when life should get easier and more settled. She had been wrongfully arrested for shoplifting – it was a downward spiral resulting in her death – the personal shame brought upon her from being accused was too much for her to bear. Although she had no children, her dear husband has suffered for almost 20 years.
    I hope that this son will be held close by his remaining family – that they will love him and let him know that despite these awful events, life must go on and that he must live strong in memory of his beloved Mama.

    Reply
  38. rochambeau

    What a sad, sad post! God Bless that woman and
    Like Susanna, I think about the boy. How devastating!
    Isn’t it strange, that nothing is ever quite how it seems from the outside?
    Thinking of you.
    Constance

    Reply
  39. Rosemary

    That is so awful Corey.
    I hate hearing things like that. So sad.
    When you saw her, you probably thought she was just fine. You never know.
    Rosemary

    Reply
  40. Alice

    How sad your story is that you share with us today. I sometimes watch people and wonder what indeed their life is really like or what they feel. There is always a story behind the face…oh, if we could only know those stories before it might be to late.

    Reply
  41. tut-tut

    Perhaps this is the season to be extra tender, extra aware. We’re all fragile as the beloved ornaments that shattered when your tree tumbled . ..

    Reply
  42. Amber

    Oh God, this breaks my heart.
    That poor boy… 🙁
    I have no doubt in my mind, Corey, that if you had had ANY idea at all of her pain, your would have talked and listend to her. And it is just too bad, too sad, that she could not have done that, because I know your heart would have blessed her. I know it.
    I pray for them.
    🙁

    Reply
  43. Lea

    This is just a thought… maybe Corey, your presence there, noticing her, and writing about her now… was that of an angel, helping her along a path that we can not see or even begin to understand…

    Reply
  44. Gillian

    Some people choose not to let others in, for fear that by doing so it will only affirm that they are not well, etc. Maybe she didn’t want anyone to know because she was well past the decision and couldn’t stand the further anguish of an explanation.
    That must have been one tough decision.
    Poor boy.
    xo
    Gillian

    Reply
  45. cityfarmer

    My young niece of 16 took her own life a short month ago…this touched me like nothing ever before….my life feels fragile and my nerves raw from that day to this….how does a Mother or child go on?
    May God touch these vulnerable families.

    Reply
  46. cheeky

    We just can’t tell from standing on the outside what is really going on on the inside. Sometimes what appears to be well isn’t well at all.
    My heart aches for her son and all who loved her. I pray that Our Lord will be their comfort and strength.
    Your last paragraph is a gentle reminder and wonderful summary of what this season is all about. What it should be about every day, all year. Giving to another is the best gift of all.
    xo

    Reply
  47. gracia

    Beautiful sentiment… wonderful.
    take care, g xo

    Reply
  48. Nicole

    so true….
    so sad for those who are still alive.

    Reply
  49. cityfarmer

    My young niece of 16 took her own life a short month ago…this touched me like nothing ever before….my life feels fragile and my nerves raw from that day to this….how does a Mother or child go on?
    May God touch these vulnerable families.

    Reply
  50. annieelf

    In a word – Heartbreaking.

    Reply
  51. Lana

    Oh how sad. My prayers go up for the boy and his family.
    This should cause us to be even more kind and thoughtful to those lives in which we come in contact ~ one word, one smile, one hug may make all the difference in the world to someone in need.
    Bless you Corey ~*~

    Reply
  52. Marva Plummer-Bruno

    Oh how sad! I was shocked to read this. We never know what someone is truly feeling on the inside……. Marva

    Reply
  53. nel

    The masks people wear sometimes become so much a part of their personality and character that they can even fool themselves into thinking that everything is ok…even if just for one night. But the mask has to come off sometime and when it does, reality is sometimes just too much to bear. How much we need to love and accept each other for who we are so the need to wear a mask becomes completely insignificant in the light of being able to be real with friends and family who love us no matter what. Then we can love and accept ourselves too. My prayers are with her son.

    Reply
  54. daisies

    oh how very sad … sigh …

    Reply
  55. tinker

    It is always a shock I think to hear someone has done this, no matter how well, or not, we know them – especially if there are no signs before – but I think some are so practiced at hiding their pain behind their mask that others cannot see – though from the way he clung to her, it does make one wonder if her little boy may have sensed something…my heart goes out to him.
    ((hugs)) to you~

    Reply
  56. susan

    her poor son. to live all the rest of his days out with that as his december memory.

    Reply
  57. Colette

    This is heart-breaking. Her despair must have been so great that she couldn’t hold on even just for her son. My heart goes out to her son.

    Reply
  58. Marilyn

    We just never, ever know, do we, what lies beneath? I often thought that in the years I was battling suicidal thoughts…all while going about my daily life in public places…

    Reply

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