Yesterday wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worse day either. One thing I have learned standing by my Father's bedside (in the ICU at the hospital) is that there are good moments and moments I wished didn't have to happen.
Sometimes he has a pinch of pink in his cheeks and though he is far from better I see a glimpse of my Father behind the medication, and tubes. It reassures me, gives me hope…In those moments I start talking nonsense to my Brothers and we tease our Father. We feel relieved, like children caught in the moment.
Then in a blink of an eye, my Father's heart races though his feet are standing still. His face twists in pain and his mouth mumbles the rosary as a way to stay focus and centered from the dark hole of agony.
It is these moments I wish I could share his pain, or wake us from this bad dream of reality, or exchange this moment for another place and time. Maybe one where he is riding his Harley, or milking the cows, or wading in the ocean at Wage's Creek…
those memories bring healing to the pain of suffering I see my Father bravely enduring.
My Father in these moments that are good and not so good has said, "Patience is a virtue, and the sooner you have learned this virtue the simpler life is. Patience, to accept the moment as it is and let it be, and ride with it…it makes life a whole lot easier to deal with."
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Thank you for listening and for being by my side. It adds grace, and courage to my heart in need.
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