Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

A Journey

Img_5682_3 French Husband and the children, the little bit of France that has been with me while in California, leave for France on Sunday. It will feel strange to be here without them… In the twenty years that I have lived in France I have only been "home to California" twice without my family. Once was for my Father’s 7Oth birthday and the other time was for my dear Aunt Frannie’s funeral.

Before French Husband and I were married we knew we would reside in France…though I had no idea that we were going to live in France for the rest of our lives. The rest of my life! …can you imagine such a change of pace? I honestly believed that we would live in France for a few years then return to California and live here for the rest of our lives.

When the reality dawned on me that the land of antiques and baguettes was going to be my home for a very very very long time I made French Husband promise me one thing- That we would "come home" to visit my family at least once a year. That promise has stayed true and firm.

That promise allows our children to know my family intimately, it also enabled them to experience two cultures, and if the real truth be known it gave me a strong shot of love American style.

Img_5684When you live far from home, and I mean faraway from home you know there is always a good reason to go back to visit everyday. You soon realize that 22 hours is equal to a journey to the moon. You soon swallow the reality that just because you would love to watch your godchild make his first communion, or see one of your best friend marry, or celebrate your brother’s 4Oth, or your brother’s super cool Halloween party, or your first cousin’s autumn get- together, or your 3Oth class reunion… you simply cannot come back for 95% of the collective memory making that will happen everyday forever. When you live faraway from home you will miss many things that connect you to who you are, and many more moments that will connect you to the collective unconsciousness of your family and friends. The reality of that knowledge can be a hard bite to swallow most of the time.

So when my father took ill, and the days turned into weeks and the weeks ahead have no end in sight- French Husband and I are facing a twist we knew might happen one day- I will stay in California and they will go back to France. The journey ahead is a beautiful mystery- I sure hope to have the courage and grace to walk it.

Comments

62 responses to “A Journey”

  1. Caffienated Cowgirl

    Beautifully written. Maintaining the ties to family while living overseas can be a difficult thing. You should remain thankful that your dear husband keeps his promise. And as for the coming days without them…take it with a mix of joy that you are able to be there at all 🙂

    Reply
  2. Britt-Arnhild in Norway

    We never know what tomorrow will bring. Our task is to live today and live it fully, in God’s love and blessings.
    You have some very hard decisions to make Corey. As always you are in my prayers.

    Reply
  3. Kit

    You put it so well Corey as always! I don’t have such a big family left behind in England to miss – there is just my mother and a sprinkling of cousins htere now, but it is still the everyday things that you miss out on. I’m glad you can be there for however long you need to and I’m sure your own little family will miss you loads but they’ll be fine too.
    The quote in my diary this week is from Mother Theresa: I know that God won’t give me more than I can handle .. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much!
    Sending you lots of love for the weeks ahead.

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  4. Mountain Dweller

    French husband is a gem Corey. When you love and are loved the journey is always easier, even when you’re a long way from home.

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  5. y

    corey, you are in my thoughts everyday these days. sending you & your family lots of love.

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  6. le petit cabinet de curiosites

    wonderful post !
    You will have the COURAGE to walk it !

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  7. M-Noëlle

    A hard decision indeed…
    Mind you, the journey will be a beautiful mystery for your family too, especially for the boys (as Chelsea will go back to Aix) !
    New experiences to exchange …
    I think they will feed your blog in the future…
    Thinking of you and of your family and moreover of your father !

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  8. Susan

    Corey,
    “Courage and Grace” are two things that I have no doubt you have enough of, sometimes it’s hard for us to feel it in ourselves. You and your father and your family are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

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  9. tinker

    What hard choices to make, Corey. You show so much courage, grace, faith and wisdom in your writings here, somehow I feel confident you will continue to make the choices that are right for you and your family. Continuing to send thoughts and prayers for you, your dad, your family.((hugs))

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  10. Pam

    I can imagine what a wrench it must be to send FH and the children back to France. How wonderfully, wonderfully supportive Yann is, and understanding of your need to be with your parents at this time. I’m sure it’s tearing him up to have to leave you to face the challenge alone. Praying for you several times everyday! Love, Pam

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  11. Betty C.

    Your case sounds much like mine. We “started out” living in France, dreaming of a life where we could spend six months here and six months there — that doesn’t work out very well when kids come along though.
    I still don’t reason in terms of “the rest of my life,” but I am amazed that’s it’s been nearly 18 years already.

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  12. Anna

    Corey…you ARE courage and grace!

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  13. Julie Ann

    I cannot imagine anyone could doubt your courage or grace Corey. That is not to say how difficult and frightening this time is for you and all your family. Let your heart and faith be your guide. Peace & love, Jx

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  14. Julie Ann

    Also wanted to say I have an egg kettle just like this. Mine holds a set of antique snooker balls I found at Cligancourt !

    Reply
  15. nancy

    dear corey…sorry to hear that they won’t be with you, but they are only leaving you physically…their hearts and minds will remain. and i am sure that it is not easy for them either. how is your father? still praying.
    love nancy

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  16. Ciretta

    As hard as this time is— we all know you have ample portions of courage and grace — and in fact, they are what necessitates your stay. Laps continue….
    Ciretta

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  17. Sher

    Hi, Corey! I’m asking the Lord to continue giving you strength and clarity of vision as you try to imagine serving the realities of an every day adult life in your childhood surroundings. Try as we may to plan it, the future cannot help but be mysterious. Returning “home” may feel comfortable and familiar, yet we still need to ask ourselves whether the reasons for leaving remain valid.

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  18. Christi from Charm & Grace

    More prayers for you today. Your sentiments about family ring true with me. It’s hard to be that far away. It’s good to hear you say that life in France, with all its romance and charm, is not a substitute for the love of family and friends. I have many times dreamed of living overseas, with romantic ideals. But, being near extended family and friends is now too much of a priority for that. Although if my hubby decided to leave for overseas, there is no question that I would go with him! 🙂
    Blessings,
    Christi

    Reply
  19. Mari-Nanci

    Dear Corey, all I can do is wish you and your whole family well, with this journey.
    A hard and sad journey, for many reasons…
    Not one to be embarked on, lightly.
    But I don’t believe you embark on any journey, lightly.
    Many gentle hugs,
    Mari-Nanci

    Reply
  20. Dee

    Corey…YOU are strong! YOU will find the courage and grace for the journey ahead…step by step…one day at a time.
    Look at all the shoulders you have to lean on! You are loved!

    Reply
  21. susanna

    Hey Corey, I agree with Nancy. Physically you may be apart from your family but their hearts and minds are with you and yours. You will never regret spending these extra moments with your dad (and with your mom and extended family). Stay strong, dear Corey. Soak up your family’s love while you are in California. No doubt your American family are thrilled that you are staying with them longer. And just imagine the reunion with FH in France! Oooh la la!

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  22. apt. a {berriehead}

    Like closing a chapter of a good book 🙂 ahhh the wonder and anticipation of the next will it be as good? or better still? I know you’re going through some tough times at the moment, Corey…I am with you in prayers and my heart is yours! Still here thinking of you all as you forge ahead …stay strong! xo

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  23. liz elayne

    sending you peace and blessings dear corey.
    writing about it here, this place you are in on your journey, my sense is that it gives you a bit of balance in the midst of the unknown. that is such a good thing…
    you are so strong and brave and wise.
    (thank you for sharing pieces of yourself as you travel through this experience.)

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  24. Sandy

    Corey,
    Praying God will cover you with grace, quicken you in the spirit of courage, enable you to have a peace filled heart, and hopeful thoughts under the conditions and duties that you find yourself in, being confident that with His help something good is being fashioned out of whatever material is being provided. Blessings, Sandy

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  25. Rosemary

    You are never far from your family Corey.
    They are in your heart, and mind.
    You are a family!!
    Rosemary

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  26. Ulla

    Oh sweet Corey, you of anyone I know, have more courage and grace than most! Tread softly and face the sunshine, your heart will lead and surround you with love… I’m by your side, and holding your hand… Hugs!

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  27. Cindy

    May GOD bless you and tenderly hold you close to His heart during these very difficult days. May you feel His comfort and feel sheltered by His love ~ as you continue to be a vessel of compassion and loving support for your darling dad and mom.
    Your dear husband and children are a precious blessing to you, just as you are to them ~ blessed be the ties that bind, they are strong and will become stronger through this.
    My prayers continue for you~
    Cindy

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  28. beachy

    You have an endless bounty of courage, grace and beauty, Corey!

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  29. Hasmin

    Dear Corey, I understand where you’re coming from. I was a mere 5 1/2 hours away from California, when my Dad was in the hospital…my kids and I basically lived in our suitcases for almost 2 months, then when the day came, my husband joined us for the 16 1/2 hours flight to my family’s birthplace. I love that your husband is very caring, understanding and has kept his promise to let you go back “home.” ((hug))

    Reply
  30. Rabenfrau

    Dear Corey, it’s hard to face things like this without your husband at your side. I know that, because I was alone too, when my father was so ill and I stayed with my parents at my home town. I felt very alone at that time, though my mother (I found out that she was stronger than I was) and my brother and his family were there. I had to learn that this town, where I was born is not really my home any longer. I missed my husband, my boys and my friends very badly during that time.
    I wish you courage and strenght to go through these hard times.

    Reply
  31. Lynda ~ Hedgerow Hollow

    This post really tugged at my heartstrings, Corey. When I married my husband and I decided to live in the US with him, I couldn’t imagine how I would feel to miss out on the birthdays, the bbq’s, and the everyday things like my Mom’s cooking. When my father took ill while I lived there, it was a feeling I had never experienced before. It was so hard to have a foot on either side of the border. My husband was wonderful about bringing me “home” as often as possible and when he retired, willingly moved to Canada so we would be closer to my family. I’ve never had to experience being without him.
    I continue to pray for your father’s recovery and hope that you’ll be home with your husband and children soon.
    ~ Lynda xo

    Reply
  32. Jeanne

    I love you my darling you have given me courage and grace everyday since I have become acquainted with you.
    Thanks for sharing your heart.
    I love you so very very very much.
    It is so hard being torn and hearts strings tugged………
    I love you
    I am always here for you.
    Let me know if there is ANYTHING you need.
    day or night.
    I send you hugs and love and prayers and a gazillion Hungarian kisses
    Love Jeanne
    X0X0

    Reply
  33. Laura

    You have the courage, Corey, you show us that daily.

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  34. Suze

    When I married I moved to the East Coast from So. Cal. It seemed so very far, far away from all that I know and loved. All that was familiar. I too thought we would be back to California in a few years but now eight years later it looks like I’ll be here much longer. My heart breaks when I hear of the get together my family have…without me. I miss the sound of my huge family, their laughter, their familiar pokes that only close family can make. Luckily we have a webcam and we can see everyone that way, but it is not the same as actually hugging them, kissing them. Your post make me long to be with my family and my sweet, sweet father. I dread the day I get the phone call that you got. It scares me to death that I will miss getting to say goodbye in person. I know you are torn but you are in the right place. Your daddy needs you. I think he was waiting for you to come home. I hope he continues to recover and you are both in my prayers.
    Suze, Pennsylvania
    formally of Laguna Beach, CA

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  35. Barbara

    Dear Corey, There are angels all around you and your family. Peace and love will surround you too during this time.
    Barbara

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  36. Karen C

    I have never lived more than 10km from my family home. My husband moved to the city from the country – a 4 hour trip. It took me a long, long time to understand why every holiday we took had to bypass his hometown.
    Since then we have watched many friends cope with the difficulties (and pleasures) of moving to other cities and lands and I have learnt many lessons from them.
    Not so long ago my son spent a wonderful summer in America and (of course) fell in love. When he came home one of the first things he asked me about was did distance relationships work?
    My heartstrings tugged.
    I had to bite my tongue, draw a deep breathe and learn another ‘mothering’ lesson.
    He has since fallen in love with another girl. She lives in our city but her family live a 10 hr drive away in another state and suddenly I understand.
    I encourage them to travel back to her family at every opportunity which is not easy financially, but I feel I owe this much to her family as I am the lucky one geting to watch their beautiful relationship grow.
    Corey, I can only imagine how hard this is for you,when your heart wants to be in two places.
    What’s the old saying, “God couldn’t be everywhere, so he made mothers.”? Maybe there is another one that says “When mothers can’t be everywhere, there is God.”

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  37. Star

    My heart goes out to you and your family (all of them, the California clan and your French husband and children as well). You have weathered the distance over many years and I know you’ll find renewed strength in the days ahead.
    Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  38. susan

    Corie, you’re an instrument of peace and I know you already have the grace flowing through you to do this. You’re in my prayers, along with your family.
    Blessings ~ Susan

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  39. susan grissom

    Corey,’
    I enjoy reading your blog, its first class. I enjoyed reading in the past when you did stories on your family when you came to visit them and the way you profiled and photographed your father, the way you understood him and the realationship you have I thought was beautiful. May grace get you through these days, I lost my father three years ago.

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  40. Sue McGettigan

    Corey I’m keeping you and your family in my prayers, God bless and keep you.

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  41. tut-tut

    Oh, I know you have the courage and grace; you exhibit them every day.

    Reply
  42. Theresa of Garden Antqs Vintage

    Corey: I feel that I know you after having read about you in Romantic Homes and Victoria Magazines. I so love your French style. I’m adding you to my blog; hope you visit me. Also, hoping and praying your father will be better soon, Theresa

    Reply
  43. deirdre

    It makes my heart ache to read about this decision, but not nearly as much as yours must be aching. I can’t imagine you to be anything other than courageous and graceful. I’ll hold you and your family in my thoughts.

    Reply
  44. corine @ hidden in france

    I have lived what you are living. Only it is France that I left behind. When my father’s routine heart surgery turned into a terrible infection from which he could not recover, I was torn beyond imagination. My children needed to be in school in the U.S. I could not leave my mother alone in France. Expatriate life is HARD. Full of blessings, yes, but also terrible, heartbreaking choices. I think you have made the right decision. I wish you the very best.

    Reply
  45. Nancy ~ Fete et Fleur & Bill ~ Loving Her Beautiful

    This brought tears to my eyes Corey and Bill just heaved a huge sigh. To be seperated from your husband and children is so difficult. We will keep praying that it will not be long and that your father will be home from the hospital soon.
    Sending you a Big Hug!
    Nancy and Bill

    Reply
  46. Mary

    Dear Corey – my wishes are for a safe return across the pond to France for Yann and the children today. I know it will take courage to say goodbye again for a while – but they will remain with you in spirit, and you will be brave as you stay close to your Father giving him strength and support.
    Thinking of you all.

    Reply
  47. Betty @ She’s Sew Pretty

    Oh Corey! I wish you strength and courage. I know you will miss your husband and your children so much. I have been so blessed to have my husband and my family to support me the last few weeks. Bless you and your family, my friend.

    Reply
  48. Elaine L.

    It must be equally as hard for your family to miss out on experiencing the events in your French life. It takes much courage and commitment to move so far away, especially when you come from such a close knit family.
    How blessed you are to have the support of a wonderful family. You are not going through this alone.
    ~elaine~

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  49. marita

    one word is all i know… tough!

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  50. Donna Ohmes McCulloch

    Dear Dear Corey,
    Last night I awoke several times in my sleep and you came to me each time. I have sent you love and prayers and Archangel Michael as your assistant. I did not know why. I did not have your blog address as I had lost it somehow and just never have kept up with reading it. I called Gail to get your phone number or e-mail and couldn’t reach her. Just now as once again I laid down to sleep you came to me again. I remembered that Gail had sent an e-mail to me before Christmas as she had been particularly inspired by your Christmas Tree blog. I checked my ems just now and sure enough I still had Gail’s em with your link in it..thus I discovered that you are presently in Willows with your dad who is in the hospital. ( I have only read your latest posting and comments) so I don’t know what is happening with him.
    I know of the heartbreak in being away so very far away from family and friends and country… Five years ago my father had a quadruple bypass and by God’s grace we had two weeks of school holidays soon thereafer. I was able to return for two weeks and assist him at that time. Six months later he was diagnosed with lymphoma.
    By God’s Grace I was able to go home two or three times a year during our school holidays. We have ten weeks on and two weeks off all year through. Then in 2005 at Christmas after his second round of chemo he had to go to the hospital as he had bronchitis and infections from the chemo. We didn’t know if he would pull through. I already had a ticket to fly home for Christmas but was able to change it when he suddenly had a turn for the worse and within 24 hours I was in his hospital room. I literally flew on angels wings. It was a blessed blessed time and he got better. I returned again for Easter and had a grace filled time with him. He was doing so much better. I returned again in July for two weeks and after this visit I called my other siblings who live away from KC and told them they should visit him now. Which they both did.
    I had planned to return on my next 2 wk holiday but my brother called me in late August and said tearfully that he didn’t think he could keep Dad alive til Oct. 2.
    This time I was home within two days and by God’s great Grace I spent the last two weeks of his life with him. I am so very grateful for those last years and all the trips home I was able to make. I believe that if I had still been teaching in California I would not have been able to spend as much time with him as I did with our school system here of 10 weeks on and 2 weeks off. Because I flew so much with United I got double miles for every trip and got one free trip in about every 3.
    Know dear Corey that I am with you in Spirit. What a great blessing it is that you have loved so very much and that love once again is calling you to walk this walk.
    I pray that God will direct you every step of the way and that you will know where you are called to be at each and every moment.
    I know you dear sister and I pray with you for your strength and courage in this hour.
    Would love to talk with you in person. If you e-mail me your phone number, I will give you a call.
    Blessings and Love to you from Down Under.
    Donna Marie

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  51. swampgirl

    Hey Corey. Just stopping by to tell you that you and your family are in my thoughts.

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  52. stephanie

    I have no doubt you have the grace and strength for the road ahead.
    wishing the best for you and your family
    x..x

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  53. My Melange

    With friends and family like yours…I am sure you will be able to get through your journey!
    Love and strength will carry you…

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  54. Marva

    Corey – Oh I so feel for you. It will be so hard to be away from your family. Just remember that will make the reunion even sweeter. 🙂 Still praying for all of you. Marva

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  55. Lea

    I am so glad they’ve been able to be here with you…

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  56. Susan

    I know that this is most likely not the case, but I can’t help but hear your heart whispering advice to my own. Thank you for your words of wisdom as I find my own way, quite possibly away from home.
    God bless.

    Reply
  57. liannallama

    When I was in HS and College I dreamed of the life you are living–a romantic life in France with a handsome French husband! I never thought of the reality of how had it must be to be so very far from home. I am thinking of you during these hard times! I hope your father is out of the hospital soon! (((HUGS)))

    Reply
  58. Suzanne

    Dear Corey, I can tell you no more that I embrace you and hold you in friendship and care. Through the distance, I’m sure you know you are very loved and me and many other friends are thinking and praying for you and your family. What a huge get-together would be if one day you’ll decide to meet your dearest californian/french family with your blog-friends!!!
    A big, big hug*
    Love*

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  59. lauren Mumford

    I didn’t know. I haven’t been here… I’m sorry. I hope ALL are still healing.
    my heart is with you, thinking of you, holding you, while yours is busy with everyone else.
    Sweet hugs and kisses, i love you always, and I’m always an email or phone call (or short trip away) if you need me in any way.
    lauren
    (Husband and daughter send their love too)

    Reply
  60. Mo’a

    Corey…you I am sure can imagine how much this post means to me…You have spoken the words that I am thinking.
    Not only am I an expatriate here in the US from Iceland, but my Son is an expatriate in Denmark from the US.
    In many ways it makes life more interesting but at the same time there is this hole in the heart…this strange empty space of longing.
    Now I long to be in Denmark to see my ten month old Grandson Victor, take his first steps…I saw him learn to crawl on Skype…
    I am grateful for the weekly Video Cam conversations we have…but the longing is still there, along with the happiness of seeing my lovely family that lives in Denmark.

    Reply
  61. Tamara Giselle

    You are so in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  62. karen cole

    Corey,
    Your photo is in the dictionary next to courage and grace.
    You have put so many emotions into such beautiful words. I will save them and remember.

    Reply

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