Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Humble Feast

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Every night around seven my family gathers around the table at the hospital’s cafeteria. A place where we have been sharing dinner together for the last 5O days. Some-days my four brothers, my sister in law’s and nieces and nephews join my mother and I. Sometimes it is a mixture of the same group but a smaller number. Sometimes it is just two or three of us.

As the days march on we realize the range of our emotions are as multiple as the food in the cafeteria; where a variety of hot and cold is served. We go through the cafeteria line, talk about the selection, take a salad or soup or maybe the entree, there is something for everyone even for me the vegetarian. We sit without fanfare, eat, drink, talk and nurture our needs by being together. It is the finest comfort food. It is the sweetest dessert. It is a blessing to be together–How long has it been since we have been altogether like this and for this amount of time we ask? But before anyone can answer the question the memories stir up, the stories inter-lap and the laughter and tears pour steadily like red wine into our waiting glasses.

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Last night the stories circled around the last time we were with my father before he entered the hospital. It wasn’t like we asked each other, "Hey tell me about the last time you were with dad before this happened?" Instead the stories flowed spontaneously moving from one to another… I envied that their "moments" were nearer at hand (my last moment was last summer, a good-bye before I returned to France.) Regardless of my envy hearing their "moments" made me feel like I was by his side too.

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As you know this hasn’t been an easy time for my family. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t dotted with love and affection, sweetness and devotion. Like a flicker of light in a dark tunnel- I find myself treasuring the simple meals we share together each night. Where we nourish ourselves with each other’s company. There is a miracle in each moment, even when it is the darkest hour… and gladly I soak these moments up letting them soothe my wound.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and… a time to embrace…"

Ecclesiastes 3. 1-5

Comments

57 responses to “Humble Feast”

  1. rel

    Corey,
    I see that you have all the answers in your heart. It’s asking the questions that’s hard.
    rel

    Reply
  2. TACE

    It’s kind of you to share your family with your blog readers. It sounds different from mine and a little fascinating to be honest:) I am glad that you all can be there for each other, I can not begin to imagine what you’re going through…my continued best thoughts and wishes for you and yours.

    Reply
  3. Marie

    When I was six my younger brother died of a virus that has no name. I remember this stillness, everything quietening and slowing down. My brother and I had entered a world of adults – things I couldn’t comprehend – things sent separate us. Looking back it seems that what kept life bearable were these unasked for moments of kindness. Holding my Dad’s hand as we crossed a street, leaning against my Mum as she read to us, the other children and nurses on the ward, my brother playing one last game with me away from the eyes of adults. They kept me sane.
    Take care – I think of you often.

    Reply
  4. Terri Pollhein

    Oh Corey,
    That is so like you to take a sad time and find the beauty and the joy in it and then to share it with others.
    God bless and Happy Easter.
    Terri

    Reply
  5. My Melange

    So gald to see that you have these special moments and that your spirit is lifted.

    Reply
  6. My Melange

    So glad to hear that you have these special moments and that your spirit is lifted.

    Reply
  7. Dawn

    Thinking of you these days, dear Corey….

    Reply
  8. tess

    It’s years ago, but I still don’t remember sequentially the weeks my mother was ill at home, then in hospital, then her death and funeral and then the weeks and months afterwards.
    It’s like a series of still frames and movie clips strung together with large gaps of nothing in between. I remember laughter, tears, desperation, camaraderie, compassion.
    Wishing you joy in among the sadness, Corey.

    Reply
  9. Redness

    Corey, you’re in my thoughts every day, remain strong, with Blessings & Love xxx

    Reply
  10. Suzanne – The Farmer’s Wife

    It’s all so bittersweet, happiness and warmth tempered by sadness and a feeling of loss. And the truth is …. stressful and wearing. When someone’s down, another pulls him up with a kind word or a happy memory. Breaking bread together is the best family communion.
    – Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

    Reply
  11. Miss Sandy

    Corey,
    I think you are a rare individual who has the insight to embrace and appreciate every second of life and every experience, it comes through in your writing. Thank you for being an encouragement to me even in your time of sadness. Much love and prayers sent your way.

    Reply
  12. Cat

    Truely a blessing to have your family. My heart and prayers are with you.
    Cat

    Reply
  13. wilsonian

    Praying, as every.
    xo

    Reply
  14. Melissa’s Cozy Teacup

    I’m so glad you’re not alone in this, fifty days! I had no idea.

    Reply
  15. gretchen

    dearest corey, the fifth anniversary of my own father’s passing will be in one week- and in his memory I feel the need to share this little story. We do not have cardinals here in far Northern New England; a few reach the more suburban towns but do not venture much further. My dad had been in a nursing home for his last two years and one of his greatest joys during that time was the birdfeeder that I had set right outside his window. We had hoped to attract the elusive cardinal as one or two had been spotted but to no avail. The morning after he passed, I was having my tea, exhausted and trying desparately to wrap my mind around the reality of what had just taken place the night before when at my own birdfeeder, I saw a flash of red… I literally rubbed my eyes in disbelief but there he was: the most beautiful big red cardinal! He stayed but a minute before flying off. Corey, I kid you not: in 10 years that has been the ONLY cardinal that has ever come to my feeder. It was my Dad- I just know it was- telling me that everything was alright and that he was happy and free from his suffering! I believe this with all my heart and to this day I put a bright red cardinal on the top of my Christmas tree in his honor. Your father will always be with you, too, no matter where you are, he will make his presence known to you in many ways- he will never leave you. Believe!
    I keep you all in my continued prayers, love, gretchen

    Reply
  16. Marie-Noëlle

    My grand mother used to say:
    “Never mind the “bouillon” (=cheap soup), never mind the “Vereco” bowls (= cheap glass)… the important thing is WHO is eating memories with you round the table.”
    Thank you for bringing her back to my table today.
    I have just picked a few flowers to place on YOUR table (Spring Day!)

    Reply
  17. sheila

    I remember eating cafeteria food with my father and sister, the last time my mother was in the hospital. Keeping vigil beside her, and hoping for a sign of improvement.
    The pain of waiting.
    Those that are the biggest influence on our lives are those who are missed the most, but live in our hearts forever.
    love to you Corey..
    Sheila
    xx

    Reply
  18. Rosemary

    It doesn’t matter what we are dining on, it matters whom we dining with.
    That was a lovley post Corey.
    Rosemary

    Reply
  19. tut-tut

    That is what you need to do, find the light in the darkness. And we all need to do so . . .

    Reply
  20. Deborah P

    In the midst of sorrow, you reach out and share the blessings with your blog family. Thank you.

    Reply
  21. angela marie

    A flicker of light in a dark tunnel.
    God is with you ~
    You, your family are clinging to Him and He is loving all of you.
    My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Corey it is good that you are very aware of what you are feeling… embrace it, treasure it. When I went through my dad’s cancer with him (and now my husband) it’s times like you have mentioned that you know are a gift. The love is overwhelming at times. None the less much needed though. That is what gets you through.
    ((((warm hugs to my friend))))
    Love you

    Reply
  22. UP

    May you and your family have a blessed Easter.

    Reply
  23. Elizabeth

    Thanks for sharing these intimate moments with your readers, Corey. Many families today are not near so united as yours, even if living in the same town!! At least you all have each other for comfort and what a blessing!! Asking that the FATHER will be with you all in these long days of waiting.

    Reply
  24. Diogenes

    Dear Corey,
    Thinking of you and your dad. Hope you are well. Here is part of a poem from Hafez (he wrote in the 1300’s):
    Sweet bird, as long as there is spring,
    Once more upon the meadow’s throne you shall sing!
    Winter shall pass and you shall find your tune.
    The roses shall nod and sense you with their bloom.
    Despair not.

    Reply
  25. Pat

    You all remain in my heart, Corey.
    Thinking of you,
    Pat

    Reply
  26. kim

    I don’t know if you remember my story – but my dad was in the ICU for weeks following a massive heart attack and I was certain that he wouldn’t survive or… if he did… he would be on a ventilator for the rest of his life.
    So — we spent days and days in the ICU and there were times when friends and family would gather together and just burst with laughter at some memory or story. Or we would just have great inside jokes about it all.
    Years later, at his funeral, we had the same experiences. Sitting in the funeral home together and then someone would share a funny story or a memory of my dad and we would laugh and laugh. It’s all so strange. But you can’t mourn or carry the pain all the time.

    Reply
  27. rositta

    Reading your posts causes me much pain yet I cannot stay away. It’s almost a year since my beloved Mother died and every day is torture for me. I guess the fact that she lived with us for the last three years of her life makes it that much more difficult for me. I was alone throughout much of it too, I am/was an only child. You are blessed to have family, loving family about you at this time, hugs…ciao

    Reply
  28. Colette

    Dearest Corey,
    As someone who had to wait, and mourn, alone, I am happy and grateful that you have so much family around you. Bless you all!
    xoxo

    Reply
  29. amber

    So much beauty here, from so much pain…This example of family is so much a blessing. I am so sorry for all of this, but I am so glad you all have one another to hold onto and hold up.
    I am thinking of you, Corey. And today I will light a candle at church for your dad and family.
    🙂

    Reply
  30. Julia

    Dear Corey, when my Dad was in the ICU in January (he’s doing better now and building his strength), one of the hardest things was the feeling of other-worldliness, as if you’re shut off from normal life. I remember looking forward to those cafeteria times because it was a chance to see other people living their lives. I am so glad you have such a loving family to come together to share “soul food.” May you continue to find sustenance in each other.

    Reply
  31. Ellen Cassilly

    Corey, One of my father’s last requests prior to his death was that we, as a family, stay together. Keep in touch and gather at regular intervals. I am certain that this would be your fathers wish as well and I’m just as certain that he is happy knowing that you are down in the cafeteria continuing being a family together.
    I keep you in my prayers, Ellen

    Reply
  32. Nancy ~ Fete et Fleur

    Your family is so amazing. The support and comfort that you give to one another is life affirming. We continue to pray for your father and family. It broke my heart to read the last few posts.
    I wish you a most blessed Easter with your loved ones.
    Nancy

    Reply
  33. Nora

    My family and I spent 32 days at that “same” cafeteria, different, city, differnt continent – same, but different. We all returned home earlier this week, including the patient. I wish the same outcome for you and your family. Stay strong. x

    Reply
  34. Lea

    To have such love as this… is precious beyond belief… XOXOXO

    Reply
  35. Beverly

    Corey,
    Every hour, minute and second is truly a miracle. I’m glad that despite these difficult circumstances you are able to spend these special times with your family.
    Stay strong…

    Reply
  36. Maddy

    Corey I wish you a very special Easter with your family.

    Reply
  37. Sarah M.

    Reading your posts since you’ve been with your Dad in the hospital, I’ve sat at my computer crying. Because of the pain your Father is feeling, and because of the pain your family is feeling. But also because of the beauty of your family’s love for each other. You touch my heart through the good times and now through this unimaginable sorrow. You and your family are in so many of our prayers. Our blessed hope at times like these is trusting in our Father in heaven and his promise that we will spend eternity together. With no more sorrow or crying or pain. God bless you.

    Reply
  38. Jeanne

    God bless you and yours real good.
    I love you
    I am always here for you.
    In my thoughts in my prayers always.
    Love and blessings
    Jeanne

    Reply
  39. beachy

    Corey, I’ve tried to keep a brave face with each post you write. My family and I all sat around my Grandmother’s bedside in the hospital for what seemed like one very long endless day… we realized just how large our ethnic family was when we all took turns inside her small room, while other family members would go for a walk, or wait in the hallway. But it was this very post of yours that brought tears to my eyes. You are one very brave woman, and the love your family has is the biggest healer of all. With much love, Beachy

    Reply
  40. naturegirl

    Corey I’m in Arizona vacationing for a few months and seldom visiting blogs..you know how that happens. Too many activities during the day and then early bedtimes and rises.
    What I did want to say to you is:
    Wishing you and yours the sight of golden daffodils in the sunshine on this blessed Easter weekend!
    sunkissed in Arizona NG

    Reply
  41. Marge

    Corey, it is truly a gift that your family is so connected together during this sad time. It is one of God’s little miracles I think, that even in the midst of sorrows, joy shows up when we need it the most.I wanted to tell you I am praying for you all and I am wishing you a Blessed Easter.

    Reply
  42. Chie Nicolaisen

    Touchy indeed!
    I like your blogsite and will come back for more inspiration.
    Have an Enjoyble EASTER,
    //chie

    Reply
  43. Mimi

    what a strong support group your mother and father have in all you children and in-laws and extended family…you can be very proud and grateful for the love you all share…
    and I’m sure your father is feeling that love and support as he is going through this prolonged illness…
    blessings to you and your family at this very special time during Easter..
    I also pray for your family back in France who are missing you so much…
    Love,
    Mimi
    Mimi

    Reply
  44. Pam Aries

    It is so wonderful that you have such a close family. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for all of you!

    Reply
  45. Bonnie Buckingham

    It’s grace.
    That’s what we did when my mom passed away.
    We had the most wonderful times at the
    dinner table. It was comforting, very.
    It’s how God brings comfort to us.
    It is the sparkle of His grace.
    Good Friday, now on to the Resurrection!
    Bonnie

    Reply
  46. Becca

    Grace and Peace this Easter. Thinking of you and your family.

    Reply
  47. Lori Witzel

    Thinking of you and your family, and wishing you beautiful skies above. Not much I can say other than your experiences, and you, matter to all of us out here in the aether.

    Reply
  48. Teresa Sheeley

    There is a for everything; blessings to you and your courageous family during this time of change; grace, peace and love to you all.
    Teresa
    xoxo

    Reply
  49. annie

    dear one…
    this is such a sweet reminder of what really matters the most. i’ve had you on my mind and in my heart…i hope you know, sweetie…love to you & a big hug!!!mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

    Reply
  50. Travelingmama@pobox.com

    I can only begin to imagine what it must be like to spend time with your family after being so far away. I think your life will be blessed for seeing the “silver lining” in a very difficult time.

    Reply
  51. Genevieve

    Every day I send up a little prayer for you to have a bit of joy to temper this sadness.
    I pray that your father finds that delicious freedom that is inside/outside himself, in the void, as long as he is not able to move in the physical and that the Holy Spirit continues among your family to comfort and inspire you all.
    Finding the divine spark of family love while dining on cool- whip- topped jello in a fine melamine dish – now, there is grace indeed!

    Reply
  52. Kit

    All my love is coming to you now Corey – wishing you many more special family times over this Easter and to your Dad too, blessed as he is with such a family that cherishes him so much.
    That quote brought tears to my eyes – it is the reading we had at my father’s funeral – so powerful, so true and in the end, so reassuring.

    Reply
  53. Marva Plummer-Bruno

    Corey – I admire you, that you can find the good, even mixed in with the bad… That is a talent not many of us have. Marva

    Reply
  54. debra

    My father had a massive stroke on Fathers’ Day last year (June 19). I became a member of the sisterhood of those who wait. Angels abounded: from the woman who brought us snacks to the cleaning woman who brought me an extra blanket. Kindness surrounded up for all those days.
    I send you good thoughts.

    Reply
  55. Sue McG

    Happy Easter Corey, I’m glad you have the blessing of time with your family at this most difficult time. Bless you.

    Reply
  56. Betty C.

    What a beautiful post — you definitely find the good in everything. Very touching.

    Reply
  57. Tom Knowles

    Hi Corey.
    I will try to get by the hospital this week to see whoever is there. I don’t know if Mathew told you, but you inspired me to start a blog. It is nothing like what you’ve got going here, but it has been fun. I feel for you all and think of George often.

    Reply

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