Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Yes or No

Img_5428_2 There are no easy answers especially for someone who sees things in shades of grey.

Those one word answers like- Yes or No- often sound cold or too direct. I prefer the word "maybe" as it is open ended and walks in the middle, actually it skips on both sides of "yes and no." The word "maybe," is very non committed. Often misunderstood and leaves room for imagination.

It also causes problems when a decision needs to be made.

When my children, Chelsea and Sacha were younger we use to play a game that went like this…. I would ask them simple "yes or no" questions like, "Can you drive a car?" or " Do you have brown eyes?" or "Are frogs green?" The object of the game was to respond truthfully without using the words "yes or no."

At the start of the game we would sing, "You can’t say "yes" you can’t say "no" what are you going to say….I don’t know?"

I still don’t know.

There doesn’t seem to be any easy answers these days…  especially regarding love, life and… well if you are someone like me, just about any question these days.

Do you think I will feel more at ease when life starts ending in periods and not question marks?

Comments

47 responses to “Yes or No”

  1. anna

    One of my favorite quotes from Rilke: “…and the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart, try to love the questions.” Peace to you, dear Corey.

    Reply
  2. Jeanne

    When your heart speaks take very good notes~
    Life is very fragile
    Handle with prayer………….
    I love you …………
    Blessings my friend.
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  3. Mimi

    this has to be very hard on you, with your father so very ill…and your family so far away…you are in my prayers, that things will be resolved soon…and your dad’s condition will improve…this is a most difficult point in life to go through…
    Mimi

    Reply
  4. My Melange

    Corey,
    My dear freind, to quote a very wise one… You can’t say “yes” and you can’t say “no”…What are you going to say…”I don’t know?”
    You never know. It may be darkest before the dawn, and then maybe a silver lining. The best thing to do is just believe in what you want to believe…and if you wish it hard enough…it will come true!
    Always here for you xoxo
    Robin

    Reply
  5. Shannon

    YOU will never feel at ease because you won’t trust that the period signals the absolute answer. I know you will say to yourself….’that can’t be all there is, MAYBE there is something else…..’
    Always be curious and always use your imagination. And always leave things open ended because you never know how life will turn out. If you create absolute answers, there is no chance for life to unravel naturally…..

    Reply
  6. nel

    I don’t know that life will ever stop ending in question marks. I still play that game with my youngest, Chloe and we always have fun with it. But in real life, when you can’t find a yes or a no when you really want one, it just plain sucks. (sorry, I couldn’t think of a better word!)
    You are amazing Corey. I know you say posting distracts you and you feel supported by everyone but I honestly don’t know how you keep giving to all of us every day. Thank you again for inviting me on your journey, it is truly an honor.
    Take care my friend, Love Janelle xx

    Reply
  7. Kris

    Janelle is so right: you keep giving to all of us every day. It is a privilege to be one of your readers.

    Reply
  8. Lee W.

    I know that things have been difficult. I find that these are the times when you ask questions, they help define you- the answers for you. Make sense? It can make you a different person, not necessarily in a bad way. It can bring back faith, or reinforce it.
    I read your last few posts. I am sorry about the nurse, as I am a critical care nurse. I sometimes tell people to go home, rest, eat, so you can be ready for the next day. Sometimes I limit the number of visitors, but never completely kick them out. I am sure she meant well. Perhaps observing a nap time in the afternoon would be a good idaea. But you should take it up with Patient Relations. Drugging a patient to keep them quiet- unless in a critical situation- is not ethical.
    My parents are getting older too. I cannot think of losing them, or having them so ill. My heart goes out to you. You are not alone. Just in the stage of life when we look at loss much closer.

    Reply
  9. debra

    There are always question marks, aren’t there.
    That is the mystery of life.

    Reply
  10. marcie

    There are some questions where a “yes” or a “no” both feel crummy. I think the “periods” will lead to another question or decision. Being between a rock and a hard place,,,not fun,,,maby that is why God put a flower there, to rest our lens on, to remind us he is everywhere always, and is holding our hand in everything. You will be ok.

    Reply
  11. Ann @ Holy Experience

    Rilke’s Letter to a young Poet: “Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.” ~Letters to a Young Poet
    Keep living the question, Corey….
    God knows the answers…

    Reply
  12. Josephine

    Dear Corey,
    I don’t know if you will feel more at ease, but I pray that no matter what, you will feel the power of love. Life is most beautiful when it is known in its full spectrum of duplicity. At once as black as it is white, at once as swept in darkness as it is filled with light.
    With love, admiration, and friendship,
    Josephine

    Reply
  13. Mary

    Basic grey has become your norm, black and white has ceased to exist for a while now. How strong you are Corey, how loving to be able to survive being ripped from your French family and home. How even more than loving is your care of your father, your support for your mother. Now the word is not ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but ‘perhaps’.
    May the music of life continue to bring sustenance through the doors – and as you all make decisions from your hearts – may the good Lord bring strength to each of you.

    Reply
  14. Dee

    Dear Corey…
    “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles.” Isaiah 40:31 KJV
    If everything in life ended in periods…there would be no chance for change or miracles!
    You’re in God’s care and in my prayers.
    I’m praying for an extra boost of strength for you today!

    Reply
  15. julie christie leary

    If there were no question marks to come first, there would be no periods to answer them.Yes? Yes.

    Reply
  16. Candy

    Here’s a period for you. You are loved with an everlasting love – no matter what. Wishing I could wrap my arms around you right now.

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  17. April

    Praying the question marks bring blessing, Corey. Peace, dearest.

    Reply
  18. kim

    And now I know that I am alone
    In the vast openness of the sea.
    And I am what causes the sea to be the sea.
    Just swim
    Just swim
    Go on with your story.
    -Katigiri Roshi

    Reply
  19. cat

    Even at the end there are no periods questions continue….even more so. Nothing is black or white for me… We continue to experience all of the delicious colors of life forever.

    Reply
  20. melissa @ the inspired room

    Nothing is outside of God’s sight, He sees your sorrow, longs to hold your family close, and is tenderly watching over your father. Of that you can be sure.
    And you can be certain that you are in my prayers, dear one.
    Blessings, hugs, and prayers.
    Melissa

    Reply
  21. Miss Sandy

    No, Corey, I think we will question the endings no matter what punctuation mark they end in. Rest in the sovereign love of the Lord and His knowing the answers to all we question. He set order to the world. He knows all things in earth and in heaven. May He fill your heart full of trust in Him, that by night and by day, in all times and in all seasons, you would be enabled to commit those who are dear to you to His unfailing love,for this life and the life to come. Rest in His blessed assurance, His ability to understand, and His love this day.

    Reply
  22. tut-tut

    I think there is a point where the questions become more numerous; perhaps we become more meditative as well. Keep well, Corey, amidst all of the change.

    Reply
  23. Rosemary

    There will always be questions without answers Corey.
    I hope you can have a pleasant day.
    Rosemary

    Reply
  24. Liz Ness

    There is magic in a question. And, in answering without a negative or positive, there is texture — like the rest of your life. So, I think that the uneasy must be a by-product of living rather than the questions or answers.
    How’s that for a maybe?

    Reply
  25. Janet

    I do believe you will be at ease when these particular, pesky question marks go away.
    ((hugs))

    Reply
  26. Leslie

    Dearest Corey,
    Still sending prayers & love to you & your family at this time. I don’t know if we ever really make peace with our “question marks”. As soon as one question is answered, it seems another arises. Nevertheless, we grow in patience & love through those questions. You are so wonderful for keeping us posted at this incredibly difficult time. I pray peace may be yours now & always.

    Reply
  27. Deborah P

    Corey, I agree with the previous comments, there will always be questions since we don’t have a manual for what to do in life. Particularly with the hardest questions of all which you and your family are facing now. There are no right and wrong answers, just what you can feel the most peaceful with. I hope all of you find peace with whatever decisions you have to make.

    Reply
  28. frenchgardenhouse

    I can only say a resounding Amen to Sandy’s comment.
    love you.
    Lidy

    Reply
  29. Lea

    For the heart of the artist… there are never periods, only question marks… do you really think there could ever be a period? And even if there was… it is only the end of one sentence leaving the space for the next sentence to begin… XO

    Reply
  30. Alexandra

    Take it as it comes. Every question has it’s own unique answer, and only God knows for sure. I take all my unanswered questions(the one’s where I have no control over) which cause me worries and pains and unite then with Christ’s sufferings…nothing I go through is ever wasted. It’s all passed on for the good of another soul. What peace! I do this over and over every day, every hour, every minute.

    Reply
  31. beachy

    I think sometimes the best answers to our questions are more questions, as they often make us dig deeper into our soul, and we find out we had the answers all along. =)

    Reply
  32. Merisi’s

    There’s space between the question and the answer, a moment in time, a moment to cease, to take a deep breath, to remember that the sea is still blue and the grass still green, the stars still shine and the sun brings new dawns.

    Reply
  33. Tracie

    Hi Corey,
    Sometimes all we can do is be ~ may it be with a maybe, question mark or indeed, a period.
    So difficult, I know ~ but some times just be and breathe.
    I wish you peace.
    ~Tracie

    Reply
  34. Cat

    At times the distinction is clear and the lines are straight, other times it’s like looking thru a foggy glass. I’m sure that with tear filled eyes things get very very foggy. God bless you Corey, you are such a strong and loving lady. Hugs for you and your dear family.

    Reply
  35. Kerstin

    Corey – this reminds me of my husband who has a rather black & white view on many things. I often say to him that it’s a good thing he met me because I blend in some much needed gray tones, and even some light, I hope! Perhaps it is a female condition, too, the indecisiveness? I know I have a hard time making decisions and “maybe” features high in my vocabulary. As long as there are options, I want to consider them all. The only time I will accept a Yes or No is when it serves a loved one, when my Maybes are only for my benefit, but not theirs. Still, it’s tricky …
    Sending you warm wishes, always. Kerstin

    Reply
  36. Suzanne

    An easy answer:
    Q: Do we love Corey?
    A: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Love*

    Reply
  37. Tammy

    Questions and answers are like threads on a tapestry. They lead somewhere on the journey and not always exactly where we want. But I believe there is light and hope between them both and sometimes it allows us to breath and take it all in. God leads you where He wants even if we are not sure of the answers. There is a place for yes, no, and most certainly maybe. They are just threads that lead you…to more.
    Praying for you all dear one
    love and blessings

    Reply
  38. lynne

    there are no easy answers
    the deeper we go, the deeper our sorrow
    Thank God for the Love!

    Reply
  39. Laura

    Like you Corey, I find the unknown, the question marks frustrating. I have a quote on my bulletin board that says,
    “Some years ask questions, other years answer them”.
    I’ve found this to be true, yet both can be difficult. Don’t lose your faith, I’m sure you are praying, make sure to listen also…that’s my weak point.

    Reply
  40. Lisa-Vet

    Hang in there, Corey!!!! We are here for you…God Bless..

    Reply
  41. tinker

    I prefer the sound of ‘maybe,’ myself…I think usually the definitive answer – the yes or no – seems to make itself apparent, when the time is ripe for it – though sometimes it seems ‘no’ hides the longest behind our hope for a ‘yes.’
    When things are up in the air, sometimes all we can do is pray, and do our best to follow our hearts, praying we’ll be led to the right answer…
    Wishing you peace of mind and heart, dear Corey, in whatever answer you find~XOX

    Reply
  42. TACE

    wow, I totally know this feeling. Yes and no doesn’t cover the many possibilities in between. Sometimes I feel like the answer to a question is 91% yes with 7% no and 2% I don’t know….

    Reply
  43. Marie-Noëlle

    When I read all those deep-hearted comments, I made up my answers:
    NO – you are not alone.
    YES – you are beloved.
    Thinking of you….

    Reply
  44. patpaulk

    Sometimes yes, sometimes, no, but always maybe. Without the question marks the periods are useless…maybe.

    Reply
  45. Miss Maddie’s

    As heart wrenching as the words may seem a yes or a no gives a finality to the question.Maybe, can be too evasive.
    If you asked someone if they were happy, you would know the answer if they respond yes or no.If you inquire if a individual loves you, maybe, leaves too much to chance. But a no will break your heart and a yes will fill it with delight.It is better to deal with the positive or negative before it consumes you and your well being.
    Thinking of you and your family and the answers you seek shall come from within and the faith you carry deeply through each day.
    xo Susan

    Reply
  46. rochambeau

    Hi Corey,
    Thought provoking.
    Do you think part of each of our stories ends with a question mark?
    Thinking of you and all you love,
    Constance

    Reply
  47. Lori Witzel

    Well, my pixel-friend, I have no enlightening insights to share, but I do know that the world is far stranger (or at least far more oddly punctuated) than periods or question marks. And if so, perhaps you’ll find a golden asterism marking a gateway to another, more peaceful passage.
    See this:
    http://thesnark.org/history/
    And this (scroll down the right side to find more unusual typographic elements):
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang

    Reply

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