Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

It Takes Courage

Face It takes courage to live, courage to grow old and it takes courage to die.

I see my father night after night trying to do the best that he can given what has happened. He is too ill to go home, too weak to move, and yet he is alert with a strong heart… too strong to die.

"Does it pay to be healthy and strong all your life only to suffer like this in the end? What did I do to deserve this?" He says with a barely audible voice.

We look at each other knowing that the questions he asks do not need answers. He knows the answers. Instead he is voicing his pain, sharing his grief, processing the path he is on. Sometimes we want to be heard without having a response given. You know just talk and talk and have someone listen and hold it.

I put my hand on his heart, my head on his shoulder and listen to his courage…. and in doing so find my own.

Comments

46 responses to “It Takes Courage”

  1. Miss Maddie’s

    Your father is a testament to life. He has traveled a long road to reach this place where his next step lies yet undetermined.Along that path he met your mother, raised a family, worked the land and held an everlasting faith.It is that love of family and faith that now holds him true to his course.
    The most endearing part is that you have been fortunate to travel this path with him and it is your love and faith that holds you at his bedside each and every evening.Cherish those intimate moments that you share as father and daughter, they will last to eternity.
    Thinking of you and your family.
    xo Susan

    Reply
  2. nel

    What a privilege to share such precious moments with your father. And what a privilege it is for me to be a witness to this loving relationship you have with him by you sharing such intimate moments. Thank you!
    I am thinking of you as always and your loving family. Bless you Corey, Nel x

    Reply
  3. Lisa & Alfie at The Pickled Hutch

    And yet Corey, it is his own will that makes him go on. What strength to keep fighting the odds from such a vulnerable position. And it sounds like he passed it on……
    Take very good care,
    Lisa & Alfie

    Reply
  4. anna

    Love, courage, faith…some of the gifts your father continues to give and which you give him in return. This is truly a sacred time…holy days. My prayers continue, dear Corey.

    Reply
  5. Shannon

    All this time, I’ve thought of the same exact thing as what your dad said. For him to have been so strong and healthy only to have it betray him this way. I don’t understand the reason or meaning of it and I feel like there has got to one, but am now realizing some things may not have an answer or purpose.
    Maybe the reason is so that you could spend as much time as possible with him to make up for the time you’ve spent in France. To catch up and hear all that you would’ve missed if he wasn’t so strong. If he weren’t so strong, would you have known about the story of the Angels telling his sister and him to pray together?

    Reply
  6. m read

    Some time ago my father-in-law got cancer and has been fighting it. Fortunately it is in remission. We had lost two grandmothers on that side of the family within 2 months of each other, one to cancer, and a year later, his brother to cancer. He was talking to me about how things were going and he said “Losing a loved one is harder on the person who is left behind, the one who passes on waits in eternity only a moment to be reunited with all of his loved ones.” Hope is the key, faith is the threshold. Sending love and light your way.
    M Read

    Reply
  7. Candy

    Does your dad have any idea how much he is loved? By his family and by a whole bunch of total strangers. All of which fade in comparison to the Love that holds him even as he questions. Hold him tight for us, Corey.

    Reply
  8. Ardi

    These moments with your father are precious and the poignancy of your words rings in my heart, remembering my Mom’s struggle. Your father is a most fortunate man to have his loving family gathered around him and holding him close. Is there a mailing address where I could send a little note to you?

    Reply
  9. Jeanne

    My heart felt prayers and love and blessings
    I am right there beside you my lovely friend
    in spirit.
    I would do anything to help you and yours.
    God bless you all real good.
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  10. Mo’a

    This is such a poignant question…what? indeed. Then again there are reasons for every experience we have in our lives including our death.
    Your Father has touched so many lives and has given so much to the world. My heart breaks for you and your family. I keep you in my thoughts and heart.

    Reply
  11. deirdre

    Such a sweet relationship you have with your father that even in this terrible time there is tenderness and a gentle spirit. Thinking of you today.

    Reply
  12. Star

    I’m sure he’d be more comfortable (mentally, emotionally) of he could be at home, but we don’t always get to make those choices. Listening can be a powerful thing. Bless you for being there for him.
    …and we’ll be here listening for you.

    Reply
  13. Rosemary

    I know he is so glad you are there with him Corey. I feel for you.
    Still in my prayers.
    Rosemary

    Reply
  14. rositta

    Corey, you are both very brave and my thoughts are with you…hugs

    Reply
  15. Miss Sandy

    Take heart Corey, the time you are spending with your father is a precious gift, absorb ever second and let it strengthen you. Some of the best conversations I have ever had are those spent in silence just listening. So often we want to fill the air with response that we rob one another of the gift of really being heard. You are gifting your father by letting him give voice to his most intimate feelings. Still lifting you all to the Father.

    Reply
  16. clarice

    Praying for peace today for your father. Love Clarice

    Reply
  17. Suzanne

    Yes, sometimes holding hands and listen is the best way of Love*
    Big hug*
    Suzanne

    Reply
  18. My Melange

    Such a sweet relationship you and your Dad have. I hear that *Daddy’s Little Girl* song playing in my head as I write this to you Corey. Do you know of that song???

    Reply
  19. andrea

    I am listening and holding you…
    a.

    Reply
  20. Toni

    Corey, Tell your father that we love him, for his strength in body and mind and spirit, he is such a lesson for all of us, we are sorry for his pain and anguish, we hope and pray he will come home soon. He most definately does not deserve this, none of your family does. It’s God’s Way, and we cannot understand God’s Time or the Way He uses us for His benefit. It’s just beyond our comprehension as human beings. Love to you…Toni and Gary

    Reply
  21. Betty C.

    Big hugs from France…
    Oddly, on my Google Reader your post came just after another expat blogger who was worrying about her sick cat…
    It puts things in perspective. I’m sure you have put a lot of things in perspective lately too.

    Reply
  22. TACE

    Sometimes I don’t know what to say but just wanted to add that I send my continued best wishes for you and your family.

    Reply
  23. Muriel

    Hi Corey
    I’m thinking of you!
    Your dad is lucky to have you as a daughter, and you, him as a father, both strong loving people.
    You make his fight for life worth it.
    You are in my prayers tonight.
    Love

    Reply
  24. Hasmin

    ((hugs)) for you and your Father, Corey.

    Reply
  25. melissa @ the inspired room

    Corey, coming by to let you know i’m thinking of you, praying for you, crying with you, waiting with you and learning from you…
    xoxo
    blessings…

    Reply
  26. Cheryl

    I shed a tear for you as I read today.
    Peace to your precious father and you, his loving
    daughter.
    Your father’s faith and the love of his
    family sustain him.
    Thanks be to God

    Reply
  27. JanePoe (aka Deborah)

    You’re so right Corey … sometimes an answer is needed far less than the space to voice emotion and be heard. Sending peace and love, xx, JP/deb

    Reply
  28. Joy

    Yes, listening is the greatest gift you can give him right now. I can’t imagine what you are going through. You and your family are in my prayers…
    Joy

    Reply
  29. tut-tut

    These posts of yours are such a solace, even as they are hard to live through.

    Reply
  30. Mimi

    Yes, it takes courage…and God gives us the courage to endure

    Reply
  31. Marge

    Corey, I am still praying for you and saying an extra Rosary for your dad.

    Reply
  32. MB

    precious corey
    i was just holding this question in my own heart and mind as we received an update on virgil.
    my beloved and i feel he does not want to leave carolyn, his love of almost 70 years…It passed through my mind that perhaps the strongest spirits surpass even their physical bodies in remaining with their loved ones.
    Love , prayers and more hugs
    xo

    Reply
  33. Carol

    Dearest Corey,
    Your post today reminded me of the old hymn “Farther Along”, there are several choices on youtube and the words are on several other sites.
    What a tremendous blessing you and your Father are to one another!
    You ALL remain in my prayers.

    Reply
  34. rel

    Corey,
    A few years back as my mom lay dieing in the ICU. I stopped in to see her every morning before going into the OR to work.
    One such morning when I asked her how she was doing she said clear and matter of factly, as if waiting for a late taxi, “I’m not dead yet!”
    I replied; “I know your ready and impatient, but Gabrielle will be here at the appointed time.”
    rel

    Reply
  35. Suzanne – The Farmer’s Wife

    I know it’s really hard for him and for you and your family, because here’s a man who has done everything right. And he rightfully wonders, “Why me?” That’s an eternal question that has eluded philosphers and theologians. We had a study group once at church that examined the book, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” The bottom line seemed to be not “why me?” but “why not me?”. As a children of God we are not exempt to pain and suffering. Having said all that, it doesn’t make it any easier when you’re on the receiving end of a bad thing.
    – Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

    Reply
  36. Kelly

    I really don’t know why, Virgil… if it’s any consolation at all – your love, the beauty of your relationship touches this complete stranger and makes her stop and take notice. May God bless you.

    Reply
  37. Paula Bogdan

    Corey, you are giving both your dad and yourself a very precious gift. For years to come, you will play these moments over and over in your mind…when all the rest of it becomes a blur. I am sending you love, hugs, and prayers.
    Paula

    Reply
  38. Amy

    My husband was admitted to the hospital this past week (appendix) and I couldn’t help but think of you, Corey…
    sending you strength, faith, and love…
    ~Amy

    Reply
  39. beachy

    Oh dear, sweet Corey. We went through a similar situation with my grandmother… she was in the hospital such a long time, and with a strong heart, she endured much for days. At the very least, she was constantly surrounded by family 24 hours a day, with family members present who rarely were able to see each other except during this situation… I am sure it brought comfort to my grandmother to know that extended family was all under one roof, loving each other and her!

    Reply
  40. Elaine L.

    I think that what we fear most about death is the prospect of suffering. How awful it must be to live in a state of limbo.
    Why do some go so easily while others suffer?
    My father is like your father, so I so understand your pain and his pain.
    ~elaine~
    ~elaine~

    Reply
  41. Paula

    Corey ~ Reading all of these comments, and yet again I feel it has all be said.
    So, I will only offer my……..
    HUG

    Reply
  42. diana

    hugs… and i am listening to you xoxo

    Reply
  43. Gillian

    xxxx
    ooooo
    xxxxxx
    ooooooo

    Reply
  44. Miz Booshay

    Corey,
    Is your dad feeling a little better since you all have been able to be with him…..after that hard separation?
    You are in my prayers,
    Love,
    Donna

    Reply
  45. Islandsparrow

    God bless and keep you both.

    Reply
  46. jennifer Paganellli

    so beautifully said

    Reply

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