Building blocks. Kate stacks them one at a time, slowly, precisely and yet she plays with them right at the edge of the table. Watching her play I see myself… with the stages of mourning. The building blocks like the activities of the day, slowly, with thought, and yet the depth of sorrow is at hand.
When someone asks me, "'How are you?" It is as if the simple question doesn't expect an answer… it is as if they are saying I care about you and I understand. I find myself saying I'm okay, and even though the pain is right at hand, their asking seems to momentarily take part of it away.
Certainly having children around soothes the rough edges of grief. Their sweet innocence is a welcoming refuge. Sometimes the best medicine is a good book, a movie… an activity that takes your thoughts to another place… all the better if you can cuddle up with someone and let your mind wander together without having to converse.
The blessing of sorrow is the time of reflection it holds out to us. It challenges us to live life lovingly because it is too short to do otherwise. Those reflective thoughts present themselves like building blocks to being a better person: Have I said I am sorry? Have I showed my gratefulness? Have I offered my forgiveness? Yes, sorrow is a great motivator…even if it is one moment at a time, slowly, precisely and playing at the edge.
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