The Inner World of Childhood

                         Paintings-of-children


My two little nieces and I were taking a nap…. actually I was pretending to be taking a nap in hopes that they might actually take a nap. In the course of pretending to take a nap I started to nod off. But before I fell deep asleep the two of them slowly sat up. Though I knew they weren’t going anywhere, I could feel their eyes looking at me, so I kept on pretending to be asleep hoping they would follow my lead.


Instead Molly (my five year old niece,) combed my hair with her fingers, she took my hands and place them on top of one another on my stomach, then she put my legs straight and my feet close together, she took great care to each detail of my appearance making sure my clothes were tidy and smooth of wrinkles. Each of her movements were solemn and serious. Child-play can be like that. Eventually she caressed my face and whispered, “I love you.” Then to my other niece, who hadn’t made a move the entire time she said, “Shh, Aunt Coco is dead.”


Molly’s words surprised me at first. Then I saw the depth of meaning in her actions.


The moment was sacred. In her child-like way she had straighten my body into a position that she had seen my father, her grandfather in. She was processing and coming to terms with his death. Children like adults have sincere feelings and thoughts too. They too grieve and try to understand the depth which is before them.


The two of them sat silently by my side for some time, I kept pretending to be asleep…. The symbolic gift of child-play can aid healing.


Photo: My cousin Judy’s collection of old paintings of children reflecting.



Comments

33 responses to “The Inner World of Childhood”

  1. In being there, for your mother, and for your nieces, you help them come to terms with their loss. In being there your small nieces help healing you.
    We have just spent a time with long away family, and Marta and her small cousin have had a wonderful time together.
    Being together can never be cherished enough……
    _____________________________
    I am loving the glimpses you are giving us from your cousin’s lovely nest. I gathered stones and shells during our vacation last week. We came home late Monday night, and after unpacking and cleaning the house yesterday night it was time to make a small stilleben inspired by island life and the seaside. Cheap and wonderful travel memories.

  2. Too precious to even comment upon. God bless you all.

  3. Such sweet and precious moments, such a gift. Thank you for telling us about it. I don’t know if I could have kept as still and pretended so well. Continued blessings in your day Corey.

  4. Oh…………………..

  5. Although I am one of the many silent readers on your blog, I am amamzed by the stories you tell like this one. They have such wisdom, strenght and joy within and more then often make my day. Just wanted to tell you that….
    I am always amazed by the spirits of children and how they can cope with the events life serves them with. There is a lot we can learn from these little souls. Cherish these moments. They are so meaningful.
    Hugs from The Netherlands
    Elizabeth

  6. ‘Children dream with their eyes open’ – I have a framed piece of old embroidery stating this true thought. Your nieces are so precious – how they will miss their Aunt Coco when you return to France – it’s just wonderful that you are spending this time with them.
    That has to be a Jessie Willcox Smith painting in the center of the display – the child at the shore – her art is so amazing, she captured English childhood better than anyone. All these are gorgeous – Judy is yet another creative member of your family!

  7. Love, children and music and nature are healing balms and our faith
    Well what more can I say.
    You are truly blessed and your stories are magic
    Love you
    Jeanne

  8. This is a very comforting and positive post – we sometimes forget that child’s play is, for them, real life.

  9. So sweet…
    ***
    The picture – in the lower right – of the little girl and bird…is one that was in my grandmother’s house.
    *sigh*

  10. With a lump in my throat, I must say this is an exquisite post. Thank you, Corey!

  11. such things happen
    only
    in quite moments…
    how fortunate
    for the young ones
    that you make such times possible.
    and
    then,
    really,
    you benefit the most.
    🙂
    isn’t that the way…

  12. What insights you gained and shared by spending time with your little nieces!
    As soon as you described how they were “arranging” you, I knew what they were remembering. YOu help to heal each other.

  13. I just read a bok entitled “French Toast” It was about an American woman married to a French man and living in France. I thought of you! I wonder if you see things the same way?
    How long will you be in America? How is your mother? I hope your summer is allowing you to find some peace and closure and healing
    God bless.

  14. You have captured an amazing moment. Thanks so much Corey.
    – Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  15. What a touching moment. You’re right, play is a sort of therapy for children, isn’t it? Obviously they feel safe and loved by you, Corey.

  16. Isn’t it amazing how children process their feelings and experiences. How brilliant of you to understand the power of play and imagination for these sweet children. xx, JP/deb

  17. What a lovely, tender moment.
    Love you madly.

  18. Wow, kids are amazing.
    Rosemary

  19. Out of the mouth of babes….we can learn so much from them. Thank you for sharing this special moment with us.

  20. What a sad moment…but yet so precious.

  21. Marie-Noëlle

    Children can be so unexpected in their
    playing !
    This reminds me of one of my cousin when he was 6 or 7.
    He had spent a lot of time drawing. He had been working hard on his sheet of paper…
    As he was looking at it triumphantly, my grandmother asked him:
    “Have you finished?
    – YES !
    – What did you draw?
    – A BEAU-TI-FUL grave !”
    Obviously, my gran was surprised and could not add a word. My young cousin carried on:
    “See, granny, I made it all lovely and beautiful for you… so that you will love to be in it…”
    Our gran mumbled a “thank you”… but when she saw his loving look, she could not rsist it and added she surely would love it…
    That was his attempt to tame what was unknown to him – death .

  22. Another abundant with love moment from your family, Corey. What a blessings.
    Judy’s collection is so special. I was delighted to see one of my own on her wall. I have the little girl gazing at the bird. It and another came down to me through my paternal grandparents.

  23. Precious moments of innocence at its best. Children teach us so much don’t they. Beautiful! Some how, I felt a peace in your writing of this moment…

  24. Beautiful post, we all need time and space to process loss.

  25. Elaine L.

    Children are so straight forward in the way they demonstrate their feelings and what they understand. They are so beautiful.
    When my daughter was five her paternal grandfather died. We were expecting a call and when I got it, I told her. She quietly walked into her room. About ten minutes later, she called me into her room. She said, “look what I did for grandpa Charles.” She had created a little memorial by stacking all the storybooks he had given her and had placed rose petals on top.
    ~elaine~

  26. So beautiful Corey.
    Love*

  27. Children are so in touch with their feelings- I mean, the sacredness of everything in this world. I wonder how we lose that over time and why we can’t seem to recall it easily…
    I am glad that you are there among your family, Corey- it’s something I was not able to do after the death of my dad and I think it could have been so healing for me.
    Bless you, sweet friend and mum too, of course…
    xo

  28. How is it that you are able to be so in the moment? How soothing for all of you that you were able to allow that supreme kindness to be allowed.

  29. My only Grandson is 21, funny how you miss those innocent moments of truths as time passes passes by…enjoy.

  30. What a gift to her, Corey. Beautiful reflection. Thank you.

  31. oh, how haunting and beautiful. I am glad they are able to feel such love and trust with you that you can help them work through your father’s death this way.

  32. That is so beautiful, Corey. You are a wonderful aunt to have been there for that purpose for your neices. I was having a rough morning, but this made me feel so much better somehow.

  33. …oh my heart.

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