Yesterday tears spilled every few seconds. They started when I went to see my friend Shelley… On the way to her house I drove by the elementary school. In the playground I saw Molly (my five year old niece) sitting on the slide. As I drove by I sensed she caught a glimpse of me in my jeep. I put on the brakes and reversed- when I backed up I saw her running towards me. I waved and felt a ping of sadness as she stopped at the school yard fence that divided us. Without any words we looked at each other sensing the barrier. I waved for her to go back and blew a kiss in her direction. Molly mouthed my name and like an arrow it went straight to my heart. The first tears of the day splashed on my legs.
I didn't understand why it struck me in such a way, nor why I was crying. Though by the end of the day I realized the symbolism… two worlds so close but so far away.
Later while visiting my friend Shelley who is devastatingly ill with ALS I felt her frustration: Her being trapped inside her body. I saw her brave face, her desire to live and again her courage reminded me that life is a rare gift. I said, "It must be extremely hard to see people sit bored, complaining while wasting the day… I bet you feel like screaming: Live!" She rolled the one part of her body that she can still control and sighed, yes.
Driving back to my Mom's house you have to pass the cemetery. It is hard for me not to look across the gravestones to the area where my father is buried. I found myself turning in and driving towards his spot. Walking to his grave I watered heavily the lawn. I wanted to run through the invisible fence that separates us…. but instead I heard a voice say… live.
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