The Symbolism of the Day

Breakfast-table

Yesterday tears spilled every few seconds. They started when I went to see my friend Shelley… On the way to her house I drove by the elementary school. In the playground I saw Molly (my five year old niece) sitting on the slide. As I drove by I sensed she caught a glimpse of me in my jeep. I put on the brakes and reversed- when I backed up I saw her running towards me. I waved and felt a ping of sadness as she stopped at the school yard fence that divided us. Without any words we looked at each other sensing the barrier. I waved for her to go back and blew a kiss in her direction. Molly mouthed my name and like an arrow it went straight to my heart. The first tears of the day splashed on my legs.

I didn't understand why it struck me in such a way, nor why I was crying. Though by the end of the day I realized the symbolism… two worlds so close but so far away.

Later while visiting my friend Shelley who is devastatingly ill with ALS I felt her frustration: Her being trapped inside her body. I saw her brave face, her desire to live and again her courage reminded me that life is a rare gift. I said, "It must be extremely hard to see people sit bored, complaining while wasting the day… I bet you feel like screaming: Live!" She rolled the one part of her body that she can still control and sighed, yes.

Driving back to my Mom's house you have to pass the cemetery. It is hard for me not to look across the gravestones to the area where my father is buried. I found myself turning in and driving towards his spot. Walking to his grave I watered heavily the lawn. I wanted to run through the invisible fence that separates us…. but instead I heard a voice say… live.



Comments

53 responses to “The Symbolism of the Day”

  1. And so you will and so you do my Dear One.

  2. Thank you so much for your lovely email this morning. I know how you must feel Corey but I CAN tell you it does get better and the world is becoming such a small place your family won’t seem so far away.
    When ever you mention your friend Shelley it makes me feel so fortunate.
    Take great care and enjoy your return home to France. Your mother has a big and loving family that will take great care of her.

  3. Wonderful words ! It made me cry !

  4. You are such a wonderful person Corey. You really experience life and through you others do too. I too cried when I read your words having been on both sides of that fence and felt that stab of pain. Life is so joyous though in spite of it. We must all try never to forget that.
    Thank you so much. Love to you.
    Barbara

  5. Oh Corey,,,life and love can be so light and heavy at the same time. A good cry is a great release. The next transition will be easier…being with FH, brocante, your lovely home and friends…your own bed..Just breathe…..

  6. God bless you and yours and especially your friend Shelley I pray for her always as I do for all of you.
    Love Jeanne

  7. Your words touch my heart…bring tears to my eyes and make me smile all at the same time. I smile because you truly live your life and touch so many! I will keep all of you in my prayers. Much love to such a beautiful person!

  8. This was your most powerful post. The best one yet. This will stay with me.

  9. These feelings will wash over you many times in the months to come Corey. It is all part of the healing you will undergo. A part of you will always be raw, for the healing is never complete when we lose a parent. Those tears will reappear at the most unexpected times, years from now.
    Shelley is an inspiration. We must go out and make the very most of the day, today and everyday, for ourselves and Shelley and people like her.
    hugs
    xx

  10. I’ve wondered if you’ve gotten to visit Shelley. She also inspires me – just as you do, Corey – to live. I pray peace and healing and love over each of you today. What I love about this post is that in the midst of living you stopped at the fence, you stopped to listen to Shelley and you stopped and watered the lawn. Sometimes those are the moments we’re most alive.

  11. Yes. I sometimes wish the veil would lift just long enough for a conversation. Of course, my sister would tell me to grab every second. It was the way she lived and she would expect me to do the same.
    The tears still come out of nowhere even after almost three years.

  12. Thanks Corey for the email…appreciated!!!
    I caress every moment with my Father, having just turned 80, I know his time is near and I know I will inwardly be devistated, we are very close, but on the outside, I will have to move on, relishing every second of his memory, as tears are flowing as I write this note…it is good to have love!!!
    Be well,
    sharon

  13. Sweet lovely Corey your words go straight to my heart…I can feel your pain and at the same time your will to live your life well for your family and friends.
    I have been thinking of your friend Shelley and how she and her family are doing…they are my heroes.
    Thank you for your lovely e-mail…I remain your friend and admirer.

  14. It IS hard to leave those you love so much, especially on the pond side where your roots are firmly planted. However, on the opposite side is even more love, the kind you have nurtured and surrounded yourself with as you ‘grew’ your own dear family. I’ve felt your pain and sorrow Corey – I know how hard it is to put those thousands of miles between oneself and one’s parents in their later years and, like you, the hardest time was leaving mother alone after father’s passing. But life will go on and all will be well – your large and loving family will be there to help. Next year will come around quickly and you will see Molly and the others, a few inches taller, and anxious for Aunt Coco to make Summer thrilling, creative and fun!
    Your post today made this morning very special for me – thinking of Shelley made me a better person realizing I am so fortunate and will truly ‘live’ this day. All your thoughts shared so openly above, and in the generous e-mail, make me realize, yet again, how kind and caring you are. I hope it will work out for us in October Corey.
    Take care – sending love.

  15. I have true, encompassing love in my heart for you Corey. Thank you for being brave enough, free enough, to share your heart with us. I hope to become more like you 🙂

  16. Corey, your heart knows no bounds…
    Shelley, your strength reaches us all…
    Between both of you lies a skyful of stars!

  17. How beautiful and stirring are your words, dear Corey. This is a powerful reminder…a great gift. Thank you!

  18. Sometimes there are stresses in life that make me worry so much. Then I think of Shelley and realize my worries are nothing in comparison. You are both so strong and inspirational.

  19. and you do corey, and inspire all around you to do the same…. thank you.

  20. I have a heavy heart now.
    Please have a better day today.
    Rosemary

  21. Tears will come when you least expect them to fall…embrase them…then remember the happy times spent with your dad.
    Thanks for letting us know how you are doing…we know you are busy with family.
    Blessings on you today, Corey.

  22. Now I want to cry. Hugs!

  23. Thinking of you.
    always lovely posts.
    k-

  24. One learns to live with the memories that transcend the wall, along with the hope that dissolves the barrier some day. Splash away, sweet friend. Tears keep our heart soft and supple to grow in love for those we can touch, as we remember those we can touch no longer. XO

  25. O.K.
    That one gave me goose bumps! You write so beautifully!

  26. Shelley Noble

    No wonder Yann loves you so much. A beautiful spirit wrote this beautiful sermon.

  27. I think of Shelley more than I might have imagined even a year after meeting her. I need to fix her image in my mind and heart as a symbol of courage and fortitude and then DO what I need to do for MYSELF.

  28. Yes….live! It’s a curse and a blessing to be diagnosed with a disease. I have Lupus and it took 3 years to come to a diagnosis. I knew fully well that something was wrong and Lupus was suspected all along. When the diagnosis finally came, with the prognosis, I cried for five minutes and then my mind asked the question, “Well, what are you going to do about this?” My soul answered, “If I’m going to die, then I’m going to LIVE!!” And I have lived without fear since that day. It’s the most freeing experience ever……to fly through life without a net and savor every moment.
    I’m sorry that Shelley is trapped inside her body. I wrote about this on my blog today. It involves flights of the imagination, painting yourself blue and dancing under the moonlight.
    You will never know what little events will trigger those tears. You will be surprised, but each event is a healing.
    Thanks so much for the e-mail. Your readers are well aware of your situation and your journey. Not to worry Corey. Not to worry.
    – Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  29. “… live” and you do it so well.

  30. Julie Ann

    I am just back from our fabulous 3 week trip from Provence – will catch up with you all about La Madone soon, Natalie was indeed a sweetie and full of love and affection for her dear friend Corey. First post I have read in 3 weeks and yes the hairs stood up on the back of my neck, yes goosebumps and yes tears in my eyes. Welcome back !! Wonderful Provence helps us all to feel alive. God bless Corey x

  31. You have expressed the thoughts of separation we all feel so well. I’m sure that since your return to France draws near, it is putting these instances into greater relief just now. Though they seem difficult to bear, bear them we must if we are truly to live while here.
    Sending best wishes to Shelley as she continues to be a beacon to all of us, and hugs to you and your family as well.

  32. Perfect words for today. Tears are on the edge spilling every now and then.

  33. Small word, but it should serve to get most of us to shake off the stasis. I’m glad you’re able to visit Shelley. You’ve written so much about her.

  34. Thank you for the reminder to live each moment to the fullest…whether it be a happy moment or a sad one.

  35. Oh, I’m so sorry, Corey. You’ve had areally tought, emotional day. Just breathe and be kind to yourself.

  36. You will do just that Corey. You will live.

  37. You’re so right, it is so very much like an invisible fence, isn’t it. I believe some day we’ll graduate from living in this school on earth to the other side of the fence…and yes, meanwhile, we must live life to the fullest. Thank you for sharing this, Corey. Many, many ((hugs)) to you~xo

  38. Thank you for the gentle reminder to live.
    (((hugs)))

  39. I am so sorry to hear of such sadness … especially about Shelley.

  40. Bittersweet memories. So sorry to hear about your friend Shelley. I will keep her in my prayers. God Bless
    Kris

  41. I understand your tears. Thank you for sharing so beautifully.

  42. Simply eloquent. Thanks for the reminder to live each day as if it could be your last.

  43. Thank you for your kind email corey, the tears will come at the most unexpected moments for some time yet. There is very little you can do to stop that just live your life, that would make your father happy…ciao

  44. You’ve been in my thoughts and prayers since I read of your father’s illness. I was saddened to hear of your loss as I lost my dad from cancer when I was a teenager, and I know how great the loss is. Yet, I am also comforted in knowing that God has promised that I will see him again as you will see your father. Life is truly an incredible journey, gaining and losing loved ones, grieving and being strengthened, loving and letting go. Your blog inspires me daily and your words remind me of faith and courage. God bless you and your family 🙂

  45. Oh, Corey, my heart goes out to you, your mom and Sasha as you prepare to return to France and all of the changes that will bring for you and your family.
    Thank God we live in an age where communication is easier for families separated by miles and continents!
    After four and a half years I still look at the sky and wonder exactly where heaven is. The only consolation for me is that I believe I will see the one I miss the most again.
    While you thank your readers for their support, I thank you for sharing your journey. Your words touch me so often.
    Hugs, to you dear lady.

  46. Elaine L.

    Corey, I have no words.
    This is a POWERFUL post!
    ~elaine~

  47. This is probably the longest stretch of time you have spent in California since your wedding. Just keep thinking about that beautiful bed in France and the sweet dreams you will have. All of the things on your list were touching, but #3 was the most heart tugging.

  48. It’s hard to say good-bye to all that you’ve had so close these past months … I’ve been there and know how you’re feeling right now. It will get easier and you’ll be back to visit before you know it. Shelley is amazing and such an inspiration to live life to its absolute fullest and never waste a moment. Thanks for sharing your day … it reminded me how important the little things in life are but how often we take them for granted.
    xo,
    Lynda

  49. I understand…((hugs))

  50. Some days are sadder than others. Yesterday was a hard day for me. Hugs to you.

  51. thank you.
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

  52. I’m reading a few months’ worth of posts backwards from today…Like so many more eloquent readers, I’ve travelled this same road, and it’s no different backwards than forwards. It still hurts and it still has surprising moments of joy. You’re in my thoughts as you return to your French home.
    And, yes, you still can speak French. You’re thinking in French still (or, perhaps, again) – you “watered heavily the lawn”.
    Have a safe trip.

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