Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Home to Home

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His bags are packed. The ticket bought. Sacha leaves tomorrow.

In a few days time I will join my family in France.

…and now months later a deeper reality hits. I will be going home-

and as much as I want to go, there is a voice inside that says no and runs.

As if going home makes the reality of these seven months more real.

I do not do well with goodbyes. This goodbye is a tender bruise.

I keeping telling myself I am lucky to have had this time. But that is not the issue.

Thinking about it the floodgate opens wide….

Home to home.

Hearts carrying more than our 50 pound limit.

Bittersweet goodbyes, cracking the surfaces and flooding the damns.

Looking back, going forward… that is how it is…

Do you have any secrets on how to say goodbye?

Comments

76 responses to “Home to Home”

  1. Ben

    You know very well there are no secret solutions there, but fortunately the French (of course:) have the very best version of goodbye. Au revoir. In its most literal translation. Bon Voyage à tous.

    Reply
  2. Betty C.

    Your post came at the right time because I have just left the US after spending 7 weeks there. Not 7 months, and under happier circumstances, but it is always hard.
    This time I left my youngest daughter behind as she is spending the whole year there as a sophomore at the high school I went to.
    Emotions? Memories? Mixed feelings? There are a lot of those.
    How to react? For me it’s stiff upper lip, back to work, taking things one day at a time. And trying to forge something unforgettable out of this special year alone with my eldest, who will be in Terminale.
    Take care, Corey. France will welcome you back with open arms.

    Reply
  3. rel

    Corey,
    “Happy trails to you, until we meet again…”
    Roy rogers & Dale Evans.
    Always leave with hope for future meetings!
    Always!
    rel

    Reply
  4. Gill

    My heart aches for you Corey. Goodbyes are never easy. My advice, for what it’s worth is to look to the future – think about what you are going to be doing tomorrow… and the next day.

    Reply
  5. Shelley Noble

    Twitter! Well, more precisely, Twitterific. But then it would require your mom/family have a computer and like to interact with it.
    No matter where Paul and I are in the world we keep in touch all day by typing in a sentence of what we are doing. By the time he gets home we are completely caught up on the days happenings and feelings.
    It’s a real way to stay connected and be together, right there.

    Reply
  6. Caffienated Cowgirl

    No secrets here…I just went through it myself…again…and it never gets any easier.

    Reply
  7. pauline

    We try so hard to escape the pain. I am slowly (and painfully) learning to let it wash over me and go on by. This summer I spent time with family (like Betty, under happier circumstances) but was in tears on the tram to the airport. I see this beloved eldest son only once a year if I’m lucky. A uniformed maintenance man checking the lights in the tram saw me and gave me a quick shoulder pat and the words, “Aw, it’ll be okay hon,” as he passed me. That small kindness from a stranger warmed me enough to dry up the tears. So, TICA, as you leave, here’s a pat and some kind words – it will be okay.

    Reply
  8. wilsonian

    Praying for you, lovely Corey… that you will soak in all the sweetness, both bitter and soothing, and that it will carry you on.

    Reply
  9. Joy

    Yes….
    There are no goodbye’s – just think of them as “til next time”….goodbye is just too hard to say!
    Joy
    xo

    Reply
  10. Billie

    Darling Corey,
    I am no sage, so take a look at a clip of someone who is.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZlydbNKFi8
    Live your beautiful life….I can’t wait!
    B

    Reply
  11. TinaTx

    I don’t have any words to make the goodbyes easier, but I do wish both you and Sacha a safe trip home.

    Reply
  12. Regina, St. Maarten (DWI)

    Corey, as a mom of 3 who is living in the Caribbean while our offspring lives in Europe, I know exactly what you’re feelings are regarding farewells. I simply see it as the other side of the medaille, like so many other things in live. It is never just beautiful, good, positive etc. But indeed, a good computer surely helps: we skype (almost daily), Hyve and email and the contact has never been better.. Wishing you strength on your farewell and have a save trip back to France.

    Reply
  13. Mary

    Sometimes I almost got off the train to London knowing that would make me miss my flight from Heathrow. I would think of staying longer……perhaps for ever…..wondering why I’d left at all, dabbing at my tears for at least an hour until the countryside of Devon was behind me.
    Eventually, belted into that plane seat, I watched the wet grey runway blur beneath me as the big bird lifted into the air and I knew it was too late.
    Now it’s easier because I no long have parents to hug and those long, hard goodbyes…..give me one more kiss…..promise I’ll be back soon. Now it’s just leaving the land, my roots, the place where I feel truly ‘home’ I guess.
    Corey – bon voyage to your Sacha – they’ll all be there waiting for you next week. After this long time away you will be happy to be home in France again…….despite the difficult goodbyes. My thoughts will be with you.

    Reply
  14. miss*R

    I wish I had some secrets on how to say goodbye… but I don’t … so I say it and my heart aches….and I tell myself that time will heal and then I wish time to hurry itself up!

    Reply
  15. cat

    I spent months running away from goodbye,keeping busy,filling myself with everything but the truth. The truth,that goodbye is simply too difficult to handle in one single moment, it occurs in stages that with or without our knowledge we accept and eventually we laugh and smile without pain, and yesterday becomes today, only better, because we have expeirienced yesterday and all of its joy and sorrow. Best wishes in journey,I love reading and sharing it,such a privledge.

    Reply
  16. Shannon

    Saying goodbye is like ripping off a bandaid. You can peel it off slowly and let it keep hurting, or do it in one swift motion and deal with the quick rush of pain.
    Either way, it will hurt, but being at home in France surrounded by Yann and the kids, and going back to your routines will allow you to heal in a different way.
    Would your mom consider coming to France with you or later on at some point? Maybe being away from everything would help her heal a little more too.

    Reply
  17. Sheila

    I have no special advice Corey. I hate goodbyes too. I never say the words. I always part with ‘See you soon’.
    With Transatlantic flight going in both directions :o) why not make firm plans for family to visit you soon, so that you have something to hold on to and plan for on your way back to France..?
    Safe journey to Sacha and you.
    See you soon…xx

    Reply
  18. Sher

    There are no secrets, there are no perfect goodbyes. God be with you and Sacha on your trips home and with your entire family as you continue your journey.

    Reply
  19. linda

    The tears will flow, just let them.

    Reply
  20. angela marie

    with an open heart ~
    (((Corey)))

    Reply
  21. Candy

    The only way I can think of to take the sting out of this goodbye is to do it with gratitude. It really is amazing that you were able to be there and stay as long as you have. Not everyone has that luxury and a family who understands the need to do so. You are truly blessed. Plus you have all those fantastic photographs! Make the most of the next few days with your mother. Wrap her up in your love. Take some of that back with you.

    Reply
  22. Suzanne

    Dear, dearest Corey, I’m sorry to tell you I’m joining you in that group wich hasn’t yet learned how to say goodbye. I guess the secret has something to do with living the thing to the most and keeping a great chest of memory treasuries to pack with the regular luggage. And then cherish the most we can from afar and loving beings and things with all our love.
    Please, if you’ll come to know the secret, please share.
    Big, huge, gigantic, healing, loving hug****

    Reply
  23. Ellen Cassilly

    This is a secret about saying goodbye that YOU taught me.
    I think that it was your great grandmother saying goodbye to your grandmother in the Azores.
    She turned her daughter around so that her daughter’s back was to her chest and wrapped her arms around her saying that her daughter need to keep looking and moving forward – knowing that there were loving arms always behind her and protecting her from falling.
    I don’t know if I got it right but I have repeated this story often.
    Love, Ellen

    Reply
  24. constance lefevre forehand

    let everyone know that you do not want a goodbye.when you are ready leave with “I LOVE YOU” and exit as quickly as possible. you can write when you get home.

    Reply
  25. Vicki

    There is no secret and no easy way…just say goodbye with a loving and open heart which we already know you have!! I will pray for you dear Corey.

    Reply
  26. laura

    i am a complete mess with goodbyes. When i left France, i cried the ENTIRE 8 hours home. Yeah..wouldn’t you have wanted to sit beside me on that plane ride? LOL
    The absolute only way i can endure goodbyes is by not saying them…just ‘see ya later..’ and keeping everything upbeat and happy. Because the memories of the place or people i’ve left will be so sweet and so wonderful that i don’t wish to always bring them down with my sobbing at the sorrow of parting.
    HUGS AND HUGS
    laura

    Reply
  27. Debbie Walker

    I’m sorry. Just know there are many of your “fans” who carry you in thier hearts, and in thier prayers.

    Reply
  28. Lynda

    There is no easy way to say good-bye … I’m always a complete mess! My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Have a safe trip home, Sacha!
    xo,
    Lynda

    Reply
  29. Evelyn

    sending you hugs …

    Reply
  30. Deborah P

    I agree with what everyone else has to say, but wanted to add one suggestion to Shelley Noble’s twitter suggestion. If your Mother or someone close is computer-handy, why not a webcam so you can actually see each other while you talk? It’s not the same as being there, but having her image (and she yours) may help a little.

    Reply
  31. danasmith

    I always have a plan(date) for the next reunion playing out in my head. My daughter and Granddaughter live in Florida and I live in Virginia….not so far between but certainly painful to say goodbye. We never say goodbye that I don’t say….Well I’ll see you in ______. It tricks my brain into feeling a bit less sad when saying goodbye.
    Dana in Virginia

    Reply
  32. herhimnbryn

    Let the tears come, let them.
    All I can relate is this. When my Mother-in-law moved to Australia over 40 yrs ago, she left ALL her family in the UK. Her and husband and 18month old son had to book a phone line and pay several pounds per minute to talk to her family. it didn’t happen often and she became very, very home sick.
    When I left my family in the UK to live here in 2001. I could pick up a phone/email AND webcam. It made it so much easier. Not a perfect solution and we are all only a plane ride away.
    Take some time for you Dear C. when you get home….you are going to need it. PAX

    Reply
  33. Laurie

    I know you will do it graciously. I’m sure your family has appreciated your time spent with them. 7 months. How fortunate that you were able to be here for that length of time. I know it’s probably hard to leave farming for any length of time, but I agree that a family trip to visit you would be a nice visit to look forward to. I wish Sacha a safe trip home and you too. Thanks for my daily inspiration. Lots of love, Laurie

    Reply
  34. caren k

    We always say “until we meet again”. We never say “goodbye”, that seems so final.

    Reply
  35. martina

    Your great-grandmother gave the perfect goodbye. The few times I’ve had to say goodbye I have the cab/shuttle come half an hour earlier than family/friends expect. Luggage and I are ready and so can just say ooh gotta go, give quick goodbyes and no one has a chance to get all teary. Give your Mom a superbig hug from me!

    Reply
  36. Poe

    Just don’t be ashamed and cry your eyes out, until you are so tired, you have no choice but to stop.
    My heart is with you, Corey, hang in there!

    Reply
  37. Rosemary

    Hi Corey,
    No secrets here. It’s never an easy thing.
    I think see you soon, is better.
    Rosemary

    Reply
  38. Alina

    My secret is to avoid the word! I usually say take care.
    Take care, Sacha.

    Reply
  39. Lorene

    Corey,
    I have no secrets or advice on the subject. It will be difficult no matter what you do. Just go with the flow. If it means crying,so be it. Don’t hold it in.
    I hope Sacha has a safe trip home.
    Lorene

    Reply
  40. Robi from Willows

    Dear Corey,
    As I sat next to you in church last Sunday morning, I knew it would be the last Sunday that I would see you for a very long time. Even though we didn’t spend any time together during your stay, we did spend several Sunday mornings together in church, and it was always a pleasure to see you and your family there. So when we stood up last week, after Father’s sermon, you and I came together in unison with a warm hug, and said our goodbye’s…but I really didn’t feel like it was goodbye, just a “see ya’ later”…
    So my dear friend, I will “see ya’ later”, have a safe flight, enjoy your OWN bed when you arrive home, and most of all, know that there are a lot of people here in Willows who will be watching, visiting, nurturing, and loving your mom in your absence. Nothing will ever replace you or your family, but we’ll try to keep her busy!
    Love you lots, Corey…

    Reply
  41. Trish

    Sign up for a FREE Skype account…webcam or not you can talk to your mom everyday on the computer for FREE. I use this with my family and it really is the next best thing to being there. My daughter and I have a daily 7 a.m. ritual for connecting with Skype…
    Much love to you…
    Oh and you might just leave some love notes where your mom will definitely find them when you are gone…like in a teacup…on her pillow…in the garden in a jar by the water faucet…you’re very creative…I’m sure you can think of far better places…:)

    Reply
  42. clarice

    Dear Corey, 7 months is long time. I know it feel like you are leaving but I bet when you get home, you will find it is like you are coming home to yourself again. Love Clarice

    Reply
  43. susanna

    Ohhhh Hooooome! Saying goodbye to close friends and family is hard but you are bringing back with you happy memories, including those gorgeous photographs of your children and nieces and nephews living life to the fullest. Plus there’s nothing like laying down on your own bed. Ahhhh!

    Reply
  44. Colette

    Never say goodbye. Say I love you see you later. Because you will.
    That’s my tip for what it’s worth. xoxo

    Reply
  45. Miss Sandy

    Saying goodbye is never easy but sometimes necessary. Praying you will have an easy time doing what is necessary.

    Reply
  46. Kris Franklin

    In a way it is like a death. When my grandmother knew she was going to die she said to me “how will I ever see you again?” I sorta sat there at first, then I said ” Well, whenever we think about each other we will be able to see each other in our minds”. So, whenever you think of your family know that they will be thinking of you and you will be able to see them clearly in your minds eye. It worked for me!
    Kris

    Reply
  47. Carol

    Dearest Corey,
    I have to agree with the many suggestions here. I know that you’re no stranger to saying goodbyes and how this time is so much harder. My heart is sad for you.
    I think it’s a given that your tears will fall. What helps me the most, is to have plans made for my next visit. It gives everybody something to look forward to. Hopefully, you won’t have to wait until next summer.
    I have no idea if yor mom would even want to, or whether it would be possible, but I think that it would be so wonderful if someone in your family could travel to France with her for a visit.
    You will be in my prayers sweet lady.

    Reply
  48. Julie Ann

    Hi Corey, in so many ways it will be wonderful to be home….but…. another first and here begins a new era of worrying about your mum on her own. I have heard it said that you do not truly grow up until you lose both parents but losing one is certainly a step on the ladder on the reversal of parent/child relationship. Your turn to worry, call, panick etc…All that said Corey your extended family seem wonderful so am sure Mummy Amos will not be alone very often ! God Bless Jx

    Reply
  49. nancy

    yeah but you’ll be back…:) it is not a bye forever!!!! an dyour heart always goes with you! and i second the notion of you getting skype…then you can talk with me!!! for free…
    xxnancy

    Reply
  50. Star

    I don’t have a single secret on saying goodbyes. They come hard for me and almost always involve tears and hugs with arms that don’t want to let go.
    But you will find your way, and in the process, the journey will take you another step down the healing path.
    Sending prayers for a safe journey for Sacha.

    Reply
  51. Cousin Chris

    Corey,
    As the Uncle George used to say to me;”Catch ya later, Creesch”.
    So, safe journey, Godspeed,
    Trail 90’s forever, Clutch in with 2 blips of the throttle & Catch ya later.
    XO,Cousin Chris

    Reply
  52. Miss Maddie’s

    There is no such thing as goodbye. A term that was penned to be a concluding remark or gesture of departure is just that, the end of a visit or a meeting. For you know in your heart that there is no end to the love and bond of family and that will carry you forward on your journey home.
    The presence of your Mother and Father will be with you forever and always.
    Godspeed my friend.
    xo Susan

    Reply
  53. Jill Flory

    I don’t like goodbyes either, Corey. Just remember it is ok to cry, and it is ok to feel sad. I find it helps me to say goodbye, give the hugs and then go quickly.
    I will be thinking about you and praying for you as you head for home.
    Jill

    Reply
  54. Wonders Never Cease

    No secrets here, I’m afraid. Just one day at a time. I’ll be thinking of you. Safe travels!
    Becky

    Reply
  55. anna

    Ohmygoodness, Corey! Reading your post produced a lump in my throat big enough to choke a horse. Those good-byes…tender, bittersweet and oh-SO-painful. I’m thinking of you and your dear mom…the letting go…again. As you fly over the Atlantic, coming closer to your home, you may experience a diminishing of the sadness with each passing mile, and at some point, a gradual and joyful anticipation of your FH (for sure!!!), your home, and all those people, rituals and routines, and things that enrich your daily life. I wish you and Sacha a safe journey and I wish your dear mom peace and contentment…and all of you…many more reunions to look forward to. Blessings!!!!

    Reply
  56. Regina Clare Jane

    Oh, I remember when I had to leave, some two weeks after my father’s funeral. My mum was going to be all alone and I couldn’t bear to think of that. But I had a family that had been waiting for me to come after two months of being away. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, Corey… leave my mom after the death of my dad, and come home agian, having to reunite and reacquaint myself again with house and husband.
    I have no answers, no easy way to say good-bye. You just have to do it. Your mum would want you to re-join your family and your love for her will never say good-bye, after all…
    <3

    Reply
  57. Beverly

    No secrets sweet friend…but lots of prayers heading your way, as I know that sometimes the only way to get through such difficult times is to walk in faith.

    Reply
  58. deirdre

    I’m terrible at goodbyes, but lots of hugs help. And I never watch anyone until they’re out of sight – it’s too hard.

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  59. MaryBeth

    there is no “real ”
    distance in Love
    our hearts stretch as long and as wide as needed
    to assure ourselves of what is always here
    and already there
    sending warm light and gentle breezes to carry all of you
    Gently home
    xo

    Reply
  60. MaryBeth

    P.S.
    how in the heck did your babies turn into stunning adults in 3 blinks of our eyes???
    =)
    xoxo

    Reply
  61. Tammy

    There are no easy answers but I often say love you and hug…don’t even say goodby. Because I guess I think of it as we will meet again and pick up where we left off. It is ok my dear to cry and your mum will want you to be back with your family. God will carry you through on HIs wings. Praying for all of you
    love and blessings

    Reply
  62. Suz

    Blessings on your travels, dear Corey. And thank you for transparent, heartfelt offerings here. We are all made in the image of God and you seem to capture that divine element so often.

    Reply
  63. Carol

    My 85 year old mother has always held that we should not say goodbye but instead we always call to each other…… “toodle-loo!” Some will undoubtedly say “Oh that is just silly – semantics” but I though I cannot explain it, there is in some way a difference.
    I’ll be praying your travels go smoothly and that, though you will be physically apart, your Mom will keep you in her heart as you will her!
    Toodle-loo!

    Reply
  64. Anna

    Corey,
    There is no easy way to leave part of the people you love to return to the other people that you love. When I go to visit my parents ( even though they are only two hours away) I have become more aware of the time that I have spent with them and to tell them that I love them. I always go quickly because I am truly hopeless at saying goodbye. You have given your parents and your self a give of love these past 7 months. Your own family has given you a gift a love by recognizing how important it was to be with your parents. These months will have long lasting memories to treasure and to help you and your mother cope when you are not physically together. The love that you share will get you through and will always be there no matter where you are – Technology will help you be closer than ever before- computers with web cameras and skype are great ideas.
    My heart goes out to you – Wrap yourself in the warmth of your families embrace and carry it with you – it will give you the strength and courage to embark on the next phase of your journey.
    I hope that you will continue to write your blog when you return to France.
    Regards,
    Anna

    Reply
  65. Toni Mason

    Corey, I too did not spend the time with you that I thought I would. I knew your mom needed you and only you could fill a spot like no one else could. She has often said to me that “You just don’t know how hard it is with your only daughter so far away”. What can one say to that?? I don’t know what that feels like, my daughter is only 4 hours away. What I do know is that God and your Dad have already been prepairing her for this sad departure…she is not afraid to stay alone!!….that was something all of us thought would never happen….but God and George together have given her the strength and peace of not being afraid…that in itself is just one of the little miracles of this journey. So don’t say goodbye, just give big hugs and say “I love you…see ya soon”…safe travels to you and Sacha. We will be watching over Dolores with lots of love.. Love Toni

    Reply
  66. Tom Knowles

    Goodbye, Corey. Thank you for the magic. We love you.
    Tom, Sara, Carter, Zoe, Theodore and Daisy

    Reply
  67. Kathy Johnson

    Corey, your blog Tongue in Cheek has been featured at Stubblejumpers Cafe, which is at http://stubblejumperscafe.pnn.com.

    Reply
  68. Isabel ~ Maison Douce

    Of the six siblings in our family, I was the closest to my mom, so it was extremely hard (for both of us) when I moved an ocean’s away after I got married!! When I go back to visit, I make my “to do” list really long on the last day of my stay, keep the goodbyes short and sweet (as if I were to see them again in a few days…) and do not look back…!! As soon as I get back home I immediately call my mom. Hearing her voice makes the distance seem small!!!

    Reply
  69. Elaine L.

    It’s hard to believe that it’s been seven months and we’ve been here with you everyday. Wow!
    Some how you will get through it. Thinking of what your father would want for you will help to strengthen you. You are so lucky to be leaving your mother with a large loving family to comfort and watch out for her.
    Bon Voyage, Dear Corey
    ~elaine~

    Reply
  70. Maddy

    None … just to cry!

    Reply
  71. nel

    I don’t know if there is an easy way to say goodbye… I cannot begin to know the emotions you must be feeling. Be strong, your faith has brought you this far and it will take you ‘home’. You have such a wonderful family and it’s such a blessing that you have had this time together to support and love one another. Thinking of you, xx

    Reply
  72. Hasmin

    Bon Voyage to Sacha, and a safe one too.
    Corey, it’s going to be a tough time to say goodbye to your family in California. All I can say is to just let things happen naturally.

    Reply
  73. travelingmama

    Oh, Corey! I can so identify with that heavy heart that comes with good-byes. May God be with you as you say good bye and help you walk through these coming days of transition. Blessings! Tina

    Reply
  74. heather

    none. i just get them over as quickly as possible.

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  75. Beachy

    Corey, you have two absolutely beautiful children!!! God has blessed you!!!

    Reply
  76. Karen

    The Secret is ……..don’t do it. I have an agreement with my three college age children. We go to the airport, we embrace, say I love you, and then each of us turns to go our way…my child through security and I home. The most important part of the agreement is neither can look back. It is the only way this mother’s heart can do it…..usually the child will call me from the gate as if he/she were already home. It works for us.

    Reply

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