Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

What Words of Wisdom would you give to a Newlywed Couple

                      flowers made from crystals

My friends Benoit and Nicole are celebrating their marriage today. 
Yesterday at Benoit's parent's home we set up for the celebration: a tent the size of a house went up in the garden, tables, chairs, food, a ton of food, preparing party favors, flowers, cakes, and through it all a sense of calm. Not a single frazzled nerve, nor urgency in movement, or high pitched voices. The day went by with many friends stopping in to help, long walks, friendly conversation over cheese and baguettes, and during it all I thought to myself: The next time I plan a party I really need to be more like this, instead of running around like a chicken with her head cut off.
I mentioned to my friend Michelle (Benoit's mother), that I needed to soak up on her laissez-faire attitude. Michelle, laughed and replied, "The party will happen, everyone will enjoy themselves, we will celebrate regardless if the details are perfect or not…."
The details were perfect.
Michelle also said, "… I do the best that I can, and I trust that what I cannot do, will work itself out in the best way."
The wedding celebration is today.

What words of wisdom would you give to a newlywed couple?

Comments

43 responses to “What Words of Wisdom would you give to a Newlywed Couple”

  1. herhimnbryn

    Listen.

    Reply
  2. Hasmin

    Marriage is a give and take, trust one another, and make each other laugh!

    Reply
  3. Lisa Johnson

    Hug and kiss each other every day. Be silly with each other an keep humor in your home.
    Good luck and good wishes to the happy couple.
    Lisa

    Reply
  4. Kit

    With a wise mother like that I’m sure they have a fund of wisdom to draw on, and with a friend like you around too!
    Best wishes to them on their happy day!

    Reply
  5. TACE

    Start every day with a hug. Celebrate random Wednesdays and tell people to call before they drop by. 🙂 haha

    Reply
  6. ZIZOU

    when times get tough..stop and remember what it was that drew you to this loved one in the first place…our 44th anniversity was yesterday ! there have been times I have had to use this little trick…as you can see it workes !

    Reply
  7. Leslie Garcia

    Dear Corey,
    The words that I love the best were given to us on our wedding day in a painting…1982;
    “From every Human Being There Rises A Light That Reaches Straight To Heaven…and When Two Souls that are Destined to Be Together, find Eachother…their Streams of Light Flow Together, and A SINGLE BRIGHTER LIGHT GOES FORTH FROM THEIR UNITED BEING”.
    Love and Happiness,
    Leslie

    Reply
  8. Billie

    I think Michelle’s approach to the party is a perfect description of how it all works. Do the best you can, trust it will work out. Don’t sweat the small stuff. After almost 20 years, I still get all tingly when I hear my husband’s car in the drive. : ]

    Reply
  9. Jeanne

    The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
    Love is all you need.
    Love Jeanne ^j^

    Reply
  10. ana

    Love unconditionally, Laugh without reservations and trust in the journey.
    Ana

    Reply
  11. Jeanne

    When two people belong together
    they make a world.
    Love is a gift from God treasure it and never ever take it or your beloved for granted.
    Keep the magic of love flowing
    What the world needs now is love sweet love
    It’s the only thing that there is much too little of.

    Reply
  12. peg karrasch

    Alwlays kiss goodnight and never go to bed angry at one another. Talk it out if it takes all night. Resolve conflicts quickly so resentment never has a chance to build. Make up with each other.

    Reply
  13. liZZie

    The wise words by Khalil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’ about relationships – about drinking from the same botle, but not the same glass, and also the Buddhist meditation ‘Metta Bhavana’ about unconditional love.

    Reply
  14. Jeanette

    I love all the comment advice – especially what Benoit’s mother said about life – so true. I like to follow what my husband had engraved in our wedding rings – “be good to each other”.

    Reply
  15. Star

    When you’re in love: show it, speak it, nourish it. Never let your partner doubt your love.

    Reply
  16. beachy

    I think your friend Michelle just offered ME the best words of wisdom! I really needed to hear that today – I am one of those running-around-headless-chickens!
    My newlywed advice… enjoy every single moment; each moment prepares you for the next.

    Reply
  17. Joanie

    Never take anything for granted. Be silly with each other even in the midst of crisis or heartbreak. ALWAYS be faithful. Share your day no matter how insignificant it may seem. LAUGH!! KISS!! HUG!! HOLD HANDS!! Show each other and the world how much you love each other.
    Never, ever go to bed mad or upset. TALK.
    Share your fears, frustrations, good times. And always remember, God put you together. Have Faith and look above and thank Him for your abundance, your relationship and blessings. Give everything to Him and realize that He will take care of things.
    It’s taken me 30 years to practice these things and I hope to spend another 30 practicing them with my love.
    Best wishes to the happy couple!

    Reply
  18. Joy

    Enjoy the moments.

    Reply
  19. Ed in Willows

    I’ve been married for 32 years. I could go on and on about about souls bonding and working together through the hard times ….. but I won’t. My advice for the groom is: put the toilet seat down and never look through her purse. For the bride: use the remote all you want, when he’s not at home and fishing is a god given right to every man. Ok, I kidding, a little. Seriously, never stop talking. Communications if the corner stone to a lasting relation. Hard times will come and working together is the only way to make it through them. When two people start living together, there is an adjustment period. Little things might seem trivial but over time, they add up and start to get under the skin. Things like putting the cap on the tooth paste can drive some people crazy. Kind reminders go a long way toward smoothing the waters of time.

    Reply
  20. k.

    What a wise Mother-her words are pictures of
    silver-so fitly spoken. Love never fails!

    Reply
  21. Kris

    The best advise that I would give a newlywed couple would be the verse from the book called the “Prophet” by the poet Kahlil Gibran on marriage. Beautifully written and very inspiring.
    We could all take a lesson from the French on how they deal with weddings, holidays etc.. To many of us “run around like a chicken with our heads cut off”.
    Kris

    Reply
  22. Massilanana

    Hmmm…you know what I think . Your readers ‘ advices almost tempt me to try getting married again (maybe I should try an American this time !). Advice ? Communicate all the time and always take your partner’s opinion in consideration , give proofs ( no matter how small : flowers , diner , a bottle of champagne ,kind words , messages ,…)of your love , have fun , don’t take anything for granted ,…..Félicitations to the happy couple !

    Reply
  23. Melissa’s Cozy Teacup

    Have, ‘fcae time’ everyday, no matter what. Old each other for 2-4 minutes and tell each other about your day. Just talk. Even better than face time?- naked face time.

    Reply
  24. Debbie in CA : )

    Sage advice, indeed! In my early days of party giving I STRESSED for days with rarely a wink of sleep the night before. I followed Martha Stewart’s instructions to the letter and demanded perfection. Result: NO FUN FOR ME.
    Luckily I GREW UP and began offering hospitality instead of “party-perfect.” It made all the difference in the world. Now I entertain FAR MORE with far less of everything . . . except guests. ; )

    Reply
  25. pam

    Never stop doing those little acts of love for each other and always go out of your way to be kind and generous. Always remember to be considerate of your spouse. Try to out-love each other. Say the words “I love you” often, and mean it. Never forget the reasons why you chose them to share your life journey. Always kiss hello, and goodbye. To the husdand: love your wife and learn to understand her in every way (she will return your love two-fold, and will respect you so much for this). To the wife: show your husband honor and respect (he will love you all the more for it). Keep talking to each other. And most importantly; pray together, and for each other, every day.

    Reply
  26. kim

    Be kind.

    Reply
  27. shannon in oregon

    live completely
    laugh a lot
    love big

    Reply
  28. Laura

    Something my mom taught me, and that is now a part of our 23yr marriage: You don’t have to LIKE each other all of the time, but you do have to LOVE each other! Don’t confuse liking something (trait/action) with loving the person.

    Reply
  29. My Mélange

    Never go to bed mad.
    Listen to each other.
    Make time for the two of you- even between work, family and other responsibility.
    Spend quality time together.

    Reply
  30. Jeannie

    To honestly talk AND listen to each other. Everything else falls into place if you take the time to be there for each other.

    Reply
  31. Just Plain Jane

    Keep in mind…….some years are better than others. Plus all the other advice that readers have generously given.

    Reply
  32. Polly-Vous Francais

    An old married couple that I met once gave their secret to a long-lasting marriage: “Never dominate.” I guess that means that everyone is right or wrong at times, but it’s important to keep the balance. And with good humor.
    I keep that in mind. Also — always — the marriage is more important than the wedding! That’s where your friend Michelle’s point of view comes in to play.
    Thanks for a thoughtful post, as always!

    Reply
  33. Beth

    I think the secret to a long and happy marriage is mutual forgiveness. If two people are willing to love each other and forgive each other when they do something wrong, which we all do, marriage is a beautiful gift!

    Reply
  34. leekrek

    It wont be all roses and love, there will be tough times ahead, but together you can conquer the world.

    Reply
  35. Carol

    Hope the wedding was “perfect” and that your mom is doing better.
    Blessings to you and yours! (ps I fixed my url. Thx for asking). How’s life with the new mac???

    Reply
  36. seb

    Marriage is not 50-50…..50 is only giving half of what you can give.

    Reply
  37. Donna O.

    Just checking in on you and your mom. Smiling to know both are okay.
    D.

    Reply
  38. Catalina

    your friend is soooo wise! 🙂 (I’m more your type…your description is hilarious! -c’est tout à fait ça!)
    wish you and your friends a wonderful time today. And that Love will stay wih all of you forever
    xoxo
    (ready to match a couple?….I have a charming intelligent women in her 30ths…)

    Reply
  39. Catalina

    oh! I forgot…I will advise to live everyday as preparing this wedding: with lots of love and attention and don’t getting worry for planing everything perfect. Life unfolds gently when you just follow the swing. Intuition.

    Reply
  40. kas

    I most humbly submit 3 Things:
    1 – There are never enough kisses. Fill each others faces, arms, laps, pockets, and hands with kisses for each other.
    2 – Protect each other’s dignity it leads to deeper trust. Always encourage and build-up your spouse in public and in private.
    3 – Respect the love of your life by giving 100% of yourself to him/her at all times. Empty yourself into the other that’s how we become one in marriage.

    Reply
  41. jill

    Words for the newlyweds (from a 15 years only veteran):
    * keep your sense of humor,
    * know it will last forever and you want to make it a nice life,
    * keep the small things small and appreciate the big real things
    * fight fair and be forgiving,
    * be as kind to each other as when you just met,
    * every once in awhile take inventory of what it would be like to be married to yourself
    BEST WISHES!

    Reply
  42. Elizabeth

    From 36 year veteran:
    Forgive…OFTEN!!
    Bake chocolate on bad days. In later years I learned to keep some of the VERY best chocolate brownie mixes on hand that money could buy…and if I heard it was a bad day at work…I usually had them out of the oven, or nearly so as he walked in the door. Never think chocolate does not help…IT CERTAINLY DOES!!
    And pray…all the time!! It helps!!

    Reply
  43. christine

    Ed in Willows …. I think you’ve got it nailed !!

    Reply

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