Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

A French Woman

                                  

Annie

Photo: Annie in her younger days.

My friend Annie is nearly 90 years old, she is my neighbor. We have been friends for nearly 15 years. Annie has two children. She left her husband when she was 84 years old. When the judge asked her, "Madame, you have been married for over 60 years, at your age does it really matter if you are happy or not?"
Annie replied, "Everyone deserves to be happy no matter how old they are, I want to live my last days in peace."
 
She left her husband, her garden, her childhood home, and rented a small apartment.

Is there anything you would like to ask Annie?

Comments

74 responses to “A French Woman”

  1. Joy

    All power to your amazing friend Annie – what a silly judge.

    Reply
  2. Alexis

    no questions, just “bravo, annie!” 🙂

    Reply
  3. Marie-Noëlle

    No question, only a message:
    “Annie,
    C’est un grand honneur de vous avoir rencontrée grâce à Corey.
    Je vous souhaite tout le bonheur du monde !”

    Reply
  4. Jend’isère

    What is your idea of a peaceful day?
    What is your idea of a productive day?
    what do yo think of your new “fan club”?
    Bisous d’Isère

    Reply
  5. Kinga

    What is Annie’s definition of happiness?
    Kinga

    Reply
  6. Merisi

    I love Annie’s answer to the judge! 🙂
    How does Annie’s husband cope with the separation, after so many years?

    Reply
  7. Catalina

    of course! no matter how old are you. life is a continuous, present is VERY important
    I imagine she wasn’t happy and now she is.
    I would like to ask her if she thought about a lot or just wake up one day and decide to change…(I’m asking that because the second option is how it works for me often…I would like to know how such a huge decision came in her case)
    To Annie: Vous êtes si belle!!!!!
    To Corey: You are so beautiful!
    Merci à toutes les deux!
    Il fait beu à La Rochelle! alors…j’imagine que là bas, plus encore! enjoy the sun!
    xoxo

    Reply
  8. SweetPeaSurry

    I’m going with Alexis here, Bravo!

    Reply
  9. vida

    Annie, are you happy… you look happy and I am happy that you had such strength and conviction to do what you heart told you to do… more power to you, what a wonderful example you are!!! Vida x

    Reply
  10. Gracie

    Does she have dreams left in the closet?

    Reply
  11. Vicki

    What a wonderful amazing woman!!! What finally made her leave after 60 years????
    Strength and happiness to every woman at every age!!! How did her children react???

    Reply
  12. Christine

    Hey Annie – you are my hero…so many have commented on your strength to change but i say the strength was in staying that long in something that didn’t fulfill you. How long did it take to get settled into your new life? Was it what you hoped for? Are you surprised by your fan club?

    Reply
  13. Patricia

    Were you unhappy for 60 years or did you just become unhappy towards the end of your marriage?

    Reply
  14. Laurie

    Hello Corey and Annie
    What is the story behind this lovely image of you in the chair? Imagine you can remember clearly. Perhaps a pleasant memory?
    Best
    Laurie

    Reply
  15. Splendid

    ‘it’s never too late to have a happy ending’
    applies perfectly here

    Reply
  16. Jeanne

    Tell Annie my Mother did the same thing only young and 3 small children. My Mother like Annie is an amazing woman (my beloved Mom is in Heaven now) Her and my Grandmother were the perfect specimens of God’s perfect people.
    Annie sounds like their twin.
    God bless her and you my dear Corey.
    Tell her I am happy she is living in peace and happiness.
    It’ worth more than gold.
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  17. Debs (Newdknit on Ravelry)

    Bravo!!
    Has Annie found the peace and quiet she longed for? Thank her for letting you share with us!
    Lots of love to Annie
    Australia – Debs

    Reply
  18. Colette

    I think Annie is so precious. Would you please ask her what makes her toes curl with delight and enjoyment?
    Thank you for sharing Annie with us.
    Colette

    Reply
  19. Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

    What an amazing woman. What a treasure in your life Corey. I still think of the story where she marched up to your door to introduce herself to the American and to say thanks for what our soldiers did in WW2.
    My question would be – What was the deciding factor in your decision to leave the marriage? And, like the others have asked, what was your children’s reaction?
    Thanks Corey, for all you do.
    – Suzanne

    Reply
  20. Melanie

    The first thing that popped into my mind was, “I wonder if she misses her garden.”

    Reply
  21. Stephanie H.

    She sounds like an interesting lady. I would like to ask her:
    1. What is the secret to her longevity.
    2. What makes her happy.
    3. What are her hobbies.
    4. What is her favorite music.
    Thanks!

    Reply
  22. Billie

    What or whom has been an inspiration to you, Annie?
    (I saw the movie, “Ghandi” and left my ex husband the next day! haha! I was staying in a terrible marriage because I was afraid I couldn’t make it on my own. It is now shameful to admit that, but as we grow older, we grow stronger too in some ways, I think.)

    Reply
  23. Billie

    P.S. Thank you.

    Reply
  24. debra

    I have loved watching her cook and share how she does things. Does Annie have a favorite thing to cook?

    Reply
  25. hhb

    Dear Annie,
    What was the first thing you did to celebrate your independence and new life?
    You are an inspiration Ms Annie.

    Reply
  26. Gina

    If there was one piece of advice she could give to a mum living in our busy world that must be so different to the one she had her children in what would it be…?

    Reply
  27. Kelly Ellis

    What brngs joy to her heart
    Kelly
    __________________
    Hi Kelly,
    My family, my faith, my good health, that the world around me is at peace.
    Annie

    Reply
  28. Shannon

    Why didn’t you leave your husband sooner?

    Reply
  29. Angela

    I admire Annie for what she believed in and expressed to the judge. What advice does Annie for the younger women of today? I am sure she has a lot of wisdom.

    Reply
  30. Ricardo

    Annie, I love you allready!

    Reply
  31. Elaine

    Annie, how do you teach young women this is true? No man is worth staying with at the cost of happiness. You are a lesson and a statement to the courage of womanhood of all ages. You are marvelous!

    Reply
  32. Sher Miller

    What was the turning point in making this move after 60 years? Did you make an obscene gesture to the judge after his ridiculous question/comment? 😉

    Reply
  33. beachy

    Annie, you are an amazing and wonderful woman! Do you have any advice for women whose children will soon be grown and no longer living at home (a thought which makes their mother very sad)?

    Reply
  34. Alena

    I’m so proud of you Annie!
    The sparkles in your eyes tell all.
    Respecting and loving ourselves above all the riches in the world.

    Reply
  35. Dixie

    Stories about Annie make me smile. What makes Annie smile…

    Reply
  36. Ladelle

    Annie, how do you conquer those fearful thoughts of the unknown… My husband is very sick- going thru chemotherapy. He is the love of my life. Corey, thank you for thinking of me. You both are an inspiration!

    Reply
  37. martina

    Annie, you are such an inspiration and have such strength. You’ve been given many challenges in life and met them head on with faith and love. Thank you for letting Corey tell us about you and take those photos.

    Reply
  38. Jeanette M.

    Yes, Bravo Annie!
    My Nana did the exact same thing when she was 69 and left England (and her husband of 49 years) and went back to Ireland where she was born and raised. I think those last 19 years of her life were the happiest.
    Why did you have to leave your childhood home after the divorce?

    Reply
  39. Beverly

    Bravo Annie!
    What makes her spirit so strong?

    Reply
  40. Erin

    Bravo Annie! I admire you! Like some of people who commented, I would like to know: what finally made you leave? And, how did you feel after the divorce was final?
    You seem like a remarkable and brave woman! I will remember your story when I need courage.
    Merci beaucoup Annie (and Corey!)!!
    Erin

    Reply
  41. shannon in oregon

    no questions, just love.

    Reply
  42. annieelf

    I’m so glad we share the same name. Annie!! You are living proof that as long as we have a pulse, we can LIVE. All we have to do is decide to do so. Bravo for you.

    Reply
  43. Candy

    I’d love to know more about Annie’s faith. Is that what got you through the 60 years and gave you the courage to get out? My mother stayed in a marriage that she probably should have gotten out of very early on. Somehow she got the message that once you’ve made your bed you lie in it. She tried to tell me the same thing with my first marriage but I guffawed and got out! I wonder sometimes if she was ever really happy. Interestingly enough now that she’s gone I’m finding out just how much my dad really loved her. I add my “Bravo, Annie!” You’re so right. Everyone does deserve happiness.

    Reply
  44. Laura

    I have found through the years, that many people must face moments when they have to be courageous. Annie, before that moment was upon you, did you already know you were courageous enough to get through it? You sound like a most wonderful person to know and enjoy from what we’ve read here.

    Reply
  45. carol

    Not important to know the reason for the decision to end the relationship. Important to know that happiness surrounds you (and I believe it does).
    Love your photo … makes the mind work. Enjoy your moments!

    Reply
  46. Ardi

    Your story touched me. I left my first husband with a 3-year old daughter in tow when I could see no possibility of a happy life. I remarried a wonderful man who loved her (and me) like she was his own. He may not have loved me exactly the way I wanted to be loved, but he has loved me with “all he’s got”. That is why this marriage has lasted 43 years.

    Reply
  47. andrea

    To Annie:What made you make the decision after so long~was there a defining moment?Or a lifetime of defining moments?

    Reply
  48. christine allen

    Does she feel the peace? Does she ever regret the divorce? Without a partner does she find herself lonely and without purpose?

    Reply
  49. Lisa “Oceandreamer” S.

    I think my question would be “what is your secret to longevity?” Meaning not only the years in your life but the life in your years!
    You are a true role model!
    XOXO

    Reply
  50. Deb (in Indiana)

    Sensing Annie’s spirit, I would imagine that she has lived a life with its share of wonder and wonderful days. I would ask her to share the memories of just one of those days with us– one that brings a smile to her eyes when she relives it in her heart.
    USA Deb

    Reply
  51. kelleyn

    Wow that is so brave of Annie!

    Reply
  52. DANIELA TORDI

    CIAO COREY, I’M AN ITALIAN ILLUSTRATOR -WWW.DANIELATORDI.COM – AND I OFTEN VISIT YOUR BEAUTIFUL WEBSITE… I’M REALLY DELIGHTED BY ANNIE(ACTUALLY, BY YOU ALL!), PLEASE, PLEASE, SHOW HER MY DRAWINGS ON THE PC AND ASK HER TO WRITE A STORY, EVEN A LITTLE ONE, THAT I COULD ILLUSTRATE. I’M SURE THAT SHE WOULD WRITE A WONDERFUL LITTLE STORY. LET ME KNOW!
    BEST WISHES TO YOU ALL,
    DANIELA

    Reply
  53. Vicki

    Hearing Annie’s story takes my heart straight to my own mother. She is 74 years old … sad, unfulfilled and unhappy in her marriage of 56 years to my father. I only found out how she felt in the past several years(and I’m 50ish).
    I know why my mother has stayed so long…
    Fear … of several things:
    1. She didn’t/doesn’t want to repeat a traumatic divorce (such as her own parent’s had) that left her with the scars of a groundless fearful childhood.
    2. Because she would do anything to keep the family together and united… to prevent her own kids from what she feels she had to go through. She’s totally a selfless and wonderful woman.
    3. She’s always been a stay-at-home Mom.. no college education.. no way to support herself – or so she feels.
    I wish my mother could talk to Annie. If I could ask Annie a couple questions:
    1. Did you stay so long for some of the same reasons my mom has? (no need to say what else, just wondering)
    If so…
    2. What should I tell my mother?
    (I’ve already told her to get out of the marriage… that all her children are grown and safely into their own lives now… her duties to them are done… that she deserves to be happy, not miserable like this. She needs to hear someone like Annie… to encourage her that it can be done and not to be afraid.)
    One note – I dearly love my dad. He’s not a bad man/not physically abusive, but I see how miserable he has made her life in his lack of love/affection/harsh words/mean words/lack of any kind of emotional support)
    Thank you Annie, for being so brave. Thank you Corey for putting this out here. There are some wonderful strong women in this world! Thank you both~
    Vicki

    Reply
  54. MaryLou/TX

    What is a typical day like in Annie’s life?
    Does she garden, read, watch television, walk…? Does she do all of her cooking and household chores?
    I would love to see more videos of her cooking techniques and recipes.

    Reply
  55. julie

    I was saw a documentary about people who lived to celebrate their 100th birthdays, and they all had a few things in common…..but one that struck me was the ability to keep alive a desire to live and move forward, despite the sadnesses of the past. …the sadnesses that seem to weigh down so many of us. How does Annie stay excited about the future? Does she have something planned everyday, to look forward to, or does she let her day unfold as it will?

    Reply
  56. Alina

    I wonder if the judge would have asked that question to a man? And I wonder what Annie was dreaming or thinking of when this photo was taken? It is so evocative.
    Wishing you many more years of happiness, Annie.

    Reply
  57. Barbara Sydney Australia

    Dear Corey,
    I am sure I read Annie was born in Greece.
    Could she tell me what part. My Grandmother’s sister left the island of Kastellorizon and went to live in Nantes France,while my Grandmother came to Australia. There is a warmth and familiarity in photos of Annie that draws me to her.
    Thank you so very much for sharing your friendship.

    Reply
  58. Deryn Mentock

    Did she want to smack that judge up-side his head??

    Reply
  59. Sharon

    She looks like she’s mischevious in that picture. Just a hint of a delightful wickedness. I think I would have liked to be her neighbor. I have 3 questions for her
    What is her best/happiest memory?
    What is the one thing she hasn’t done, that she would really like to do?
    What is the one greatest lesson that she has learned in her lifetime?

    Reply
  60. marlis

    Oh Annie, she is an amazing woman. I just wonder what made her leave. What was the straw that broke the camel’s back. They say it’s not usually one thing, but the collection of the whole. Since she is on her own now, is she happier? What gave her the strength to leave.
    And above all, has she found her happiness?

    Reply
  61. Miss M.J. Ma’am

    I bet Annie has a fantastic sense of humor, right? It can see us through a lot…. Annie, you rock!

    Reply
  62. Bramble

    I think there must be something to the name! I had a neighbor Annie who was 94 and as interested in life as anyone I have ever seen, just like “your” Annie. She was the first person to hold my son when we came home from the hospital and he looked at her as if they were old friends. She looked at him and said “well it’s about time you got here, I have been waiting for you a long time!”
    Here are my questions for your Annie:
    If there were no obstacles in your life , what would you have done differently?
    Is there a memory of just pure joy that you recall and savor the memory?
    Are you still trying to learn new things?
    It is a pleasure to meet you here in Corey’s blog.Thank you for the privledge.

    Reply
  63. Hasmin Cannon

    The nerve of that judge…
    Ditto here on the questions that have been asked.
    Hugs to you dear Corey and Annie.

    Reply
  64. Joanny

    Corey
    I like Annie even more now having read this story. One thing about getting older is you realize inside you have not aged at all, only grown wiser by experience
    Annie is my muse!
    Joanny

    Reply
  65. Massilianana

    Wow… reading those lines brought tears of emotion to my eyes .
    Annie is so courageous , she probably took this decision because she had reached a point in her life where getting back in touch with her deep self , her integrity as a woman , her freedom ( to cook or not , to iron or not , to read in bed or not , to have ” a room of her own” ,etc…) mattered more than appearences’ sake and a marriage that didn’t make sense anymore . Good move , Annie ! I am certain she is enjoying her own company very much .
    My question to her would be : what are her plans ? what does she indulge in ?
    Bravo Annie .

    Reply
  66. pam

    Did Annie ever dream of living in another country? Has she asked you to teach her to speak English? Does she have a close relationship with her children and grandchildren. If she were younger would she want to have another chance at a happy marriage? Has she traveled to exotic places? What delights Annie? Does she have a love for antiques and decorating like you? Does she know how so many of us would love to know her, and experience what it was like to live in France especially during the war. Thanks Annie and Corey!

    Reply
  67. Drew

    After 60 yrs, what was it that prevented Annie and her husband from honoring their marriage vow?

    Reply
  68. Sheala

    How are her children doing? Grandkids? What impact (if any) did living in an unhappy marriage have on her kids? How are their marriages?

    Reply
  69. becky up the hill

    First, let me say hello to Annie and thanks Corey for letting us get to know her better. I would like to know what her life was like during WW2.

    Reply
  70. Wandering Chopsticks

    Bravo Annie!
    I would like to know what was the very first thing you did after your divorce was final. What was the first thing you did when you could do anything you wanted?

    Reply
  71. Star

    I’m never short on questions, just answers…so:
    1. Would it be too big to ask “What is the meaning of life?” Annie seems so together; perhaps she knows the answer.
    2. I’m searching for my heart’s desire. Do you know what it is (and if you know ‘what’ it is, do you know where I can find it)?
    3. On a more realistic level, what is your favorite memory to think on as you lie in bed, waiting for sleep to come?

    Reply
  72. liannallama

    What a beautiful photo–so carefree and full of joy! Thanks for sharing Annie’s story and answers. I’d sure like to give that judge a piece of my mind–glad she was up for the task of telling him what she needed to!
    good for her for seeking happiness and independence!

    Reply
  73. carole

    Hi Corey & Annie:
    What delightful company you both must be : )
    I know you are a strong woman (regardless of your age) for having the gumption to live your life happily!!! I love the photo of you on the sofa chair.
    Love & Peace
    carole from California

    Reply
  74. Kristi

    I hope the judge lives to 90+

    Reply

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