Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Words uttered in Prayer as I look out my Bedroom Window

Religious medals
Photos and Text by Corey Amaro

Dear God,

 Really, no wonder you are so like-able, with that wicked sense of humor you got going on. You made me laugh with the latest answer to my prayer. Honestly, you really know how to make me work up a sweat on trying to be a good person. Sometimes I wonder if you like picking on me? You gotta a way of striking my funny bone don't you?

Do I dare ask you why you sent me new neighbors to teach me patience? I knew I shouldn't have prayed for that quality! I knew it was way beyond my reach. I knew you would bring the lesson on with abundance. I guess you like it when I put you in front of me. Thanks for being there, otherwise I might be diverted to throwing patience out, and grabbing an armful of short temperedness and giving dirty looks to boot.

But really, are you having fun up there? Sending me neighbors who burn the garbage in a bonfire under my bedroom window? Who feed the homeless, neighborhood cats by throwing their table scraps out on our roof? Who yell bad words between every breath that I have learned how to pepper my French with them? Who let their dog poop and pee on the neighbor's doorsteps?
Honestly, do you want me to go to heaven one day? Because if you do, you need to show me GENTLY how to have patience. Otherwise, frustration is going to be my new way of being, and who knows how long I will last, before I start screaming insults like darts out my bedroom window.

Yours Truly, (who has better things to do than complaining to you.)

Corey

P.S. And don't tell me to talk to them because I have tried and they think I am an anal alien.

Comments

55 responses to “Words uttered in Prayer as I look out my Bedroom Window”

  1. hhb

    Find yourself a little ‘scooper’ and scoop the poop, then place it reverently on their doorstep. If they comment, just smile and say ” I believe this is yours?’
    Seriously, I sympathise. Sometimes even talking doesn’t help. P’raps Annie has some wise advice?

    Reply
  2. Patricia

    Sometimes I think I would like to have lots of land and not see any of my neighbors! My neighbors are strange – not very friendly. Most of them do not even look up to say hi when they get in their cars. That is not how I grew up. I don’t know if it is where I live or if times have changed. I think a little of both. I remember one time when I lived in my old neighborhood (people where friendlier there) my mother-in-law was visiting from France and I stopped in my car at the top of my street to say hello to a neighbor. She thought it was so strange I would just stop like that to say hello to a neighbor. She doesn’t talk with any of her neighbors. Is that common in France?

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  3. Vicki

    If you can have patience with your neighbors and not scream insults then I believe we should start calling you Saint Corey!!! I agree with hhb….seek the wisdom of Annie. Keep us posted.

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  4. Gina

    My sister and I were searching Google for an Irish blessing to write on a card to a friend that was heading on a long journey abroad. Imagine our tears of laughter when we found websites that not only had marvellous blessings but Irish CURSES also! Here is our favourite for you to mutter under your breath next time you find a present on your doorstep…
    May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord Himself can’t find you with a telescope!

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  5. Floss

    I agree with you about God’s sense of humour – although we often don’t ‘get it’, do we? He promises he won’t test us more than we can bear, so obviously you can bear quite a lot! I honestly think my next prayer would be that they will move – is it rental or bought? Maybe they could win the Loto and upgrade to annoy someone else?
    Irish curses are indeed another possibility.

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  6. Polly-Vous Francais

    Quelle dilemma! What does FH think about it?
    Good luck, Corey!

    Reply
  7. kelleyn

    Sorry your neighbors stick. God does have a funny way of teaching us lessons. I remeber my husband and I laughing at these parents who would drag their screaming child out of church every Sunday. We swore we would be better parents and our child would sit there quietly. Then God gave us our oldest child who make Denise the Menace look tame we call him Curious George because he is always getting into something. We were taught our lesson. Now I have more compassion.

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  8. Karin

    Oh, dear. Corey, you never pray for patience, only the ability to handle things as they come. Your new neighbors sound positively dreadful.
    We had a time when the boy next door pelted our house with eggs. We could hear them smacking the wall at night. We talked to his parents but they did not believe it was him. Sometimes diplomacy does not work. So, I sat in wait one night, laid out on the front porch, dressed in black like a spy (or a cat burglar!) and caught him in the act. Scared the heck out of him and he never did it again!!
    I wish you luck in solving this problem. I think you are going to need it.

    Reply
  9. Dixie

    Lord have Mercy! He does work in mysterious ways… thanks for posting this one. I’ll not be praying for patience any time soon…

    Reply
  10. Annie

    I once had a neighbor who refused to have cat boxes for her cats or to see a problem with her cats using my children’s sand box. So, I daily scooped her cat’s poop into bags, tied the bags with pretty pink ribbons and placed the smelly “gifts” on her stoop. She finally got the idea that I’m crazy and chose not to ever do another thing to annoy me.

    Reply
  11. Becky

    Cory, I regularly read your posts and I almost feel that I am your “neighbor”…I also have trashy people who live next door to me…If its any consolation…your cyberneighbors completely support you and wish you the best…(and you can turn us off any time you’d like)…Best wishes…

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  12. Erin

    and these new neighbors are FRENCH people?
    my oh my. i would be quite miffed at this point…needless to say WORDS would have been spoken. throwing food on your roof, dog poopie…OH!!!!!
    hope the issues are soon resolved.
    and did i say have a good rest of the week and many hugs ((()))

    Reply
  13. Jeanette M.

    I am feeling very grateful for my friendly neighbors this morning. Perhaps you should pray for them to come into great fortune so they will move far away!

    Reply
  14. seb

    You made me laugh so hard my husband came into the room. I was telling him you had rotten neighbors just like us…he then showed me that the window which faces their house was wide open….We have a woman we call the witch on one side of us and a very “interesting” family on the other. I will read with great interest to see how you handle your dilema. I wish you all the best….patience? I remember praying for that….big mistake 🙂

    Reply
  15. Isabel ~ Maison Douce

    Oh, Corey, I am so sorry!! That must be so unnerving!! We are in a similar situation, our new neighbors let their dog roam arond our front yard to poop and pee and their son likes to shoot with a BB gun at our windows… We have talked to them several times but nothing changes!!

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  16. Ardi

    Could French Husband talk to them? He’s one of them, you know. I’ll have to call my friend – there are some things that you can put around that discourage animals from coming in your areas. Maybe this would work on porch steps. Egads, this must be so frustrating. Your letter to God was delightful and I know you will rise above all this, too.

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  17. Ardi

    I do like the idea of gathering up their dog’s poop and putting it on THEIR doorstep. Pink ribbons or not, your choice.

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  18. Ed in Willows

    I always wondered where my old neighbors moved to. It sure is quiet around here now. Your description of them is really close to what I and my other neighbors put up with for 3 years. I had no idea they could speak french. If they break out electric guitars at midnight, start playing heavy metal songs and have huge outdoor parties until 4:00am then you’ll know they used to live next to me. I went as far as getting everyone in the neighborhood to sign a petition to have them evicted, not to mention the monthly phone calls to the police. I hope they are only renters and move soon.

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  19. angela

    Oh Corey, you are so funny but so accurate in how God teaches us. We live out in the country in a small town but our neighbors are fairly close on each side and across the street. When we moved here I was so snotty abt. how they all lived and would pray that God would make me deal with that and give me an opportunity to witness to them and love on them….well, needless to say, our neighbor on one side freaks if another animal enters his property and has shot and killed one of our dogs, the new neighbors on the other side likes to start a bonfire and throw all sorts of things on it..last episode had cans of vegetables that would explode as they burned. These people don’t have a pot to (p…) in and are throwing food on the fire, probably food we gave them…makes me so mad. My mom used to tell me…be careful what you pray for and she was so right!!

    Reply
  20. Candy

    This may sound crazy but after you’ve done all the practical stuff I think you’re just supposed to simply bless them. Every time they start to get on your nerves, just stop and ask God to bless their socks off. When they scream obscenities just grab the opposite thought that He has placed there beside it and use it to bless them. When they’re burning their trash, ask Him to consume them with His holy fire. You may even leave them anonymous blessings in their mailbox. It may not change them but it may change your attitude about them. Who knows? I’m not saying I actually do this, but I want do want to. Blessings on you Corey!

    Reply
  21. Marilyn

    Corey,
    Behavior like that always amazes me! There are certain concessions that have to be made when you live in close proximity to your neighbors. Some people just can’t seem to grasp that concept!
    It seems that you are dealing with air pollution, disturbing the peace, garbage issues and sanitation concerns. I work on environmental issues for my company, and know that these are all potential code violations. If you can’t reason with these neighbors, you may need to press the issue with your local government.
    Hopefully, it won’t come to that! Good Luck, Corey!
    Marilyn (in Dallas)

    Reply
  22. Mimi

    A couple of hints:
    If you have dog poopie in your yard, carefully pick it up, place it in a bag and return it to its owner.
    With the cats. Buy a bunch of cat food and begin to feed them yourself. Explain to your neighbors that you are now feeding the cats and that you would like you roof to remain garbage free. Explain to them that if trash happens to hit your roof again, you will have no control over others (of mysterious origins) toss garbage on their roof.
    As for burning the garbage. How about a fan, placed at just the right angle, to blow the fumes back into their yard…possibly near a bedroom or kitchen window?

    Reply
  23. georgie

    You poor thing. I have very aloof neighbors who purposely planted large trees, ivy and invasive vining plants very close to the property line. The area between the fence/property line and my home is about 15 feet. I’ve nicely asked them to please especially cut back the 30 ft. tree that is pushing against my cedar fence. The husband just snorted and scoffed and asked what I had against Mother Nature and walked off. One time he accused me of poisoning one of their trees. I told him I wanted to but would never do so. Grrr

    Reply
  24. Jeanette

    Oh the joys of neighbors! I think one about giving theM their dog’s poop back is good, but I would be gaging trying to put it in the bag. If you do maybe put a fire-cracker in it to….pop and what a mess. Make sure you ran and they don’t see you! I hope they don’t read your blog so they will not now what you are planning! GOOD LUCK!!!!

    Reply
  25. Dee

    Oh my…my Grandma Holck told me never to pray for patience…for surely He WILL give you that quality and WILL try your patience out! 🙂

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  26. Bramble

    Corey- I feel your pain! There is no excuse or explaining people that insensitive and just plain…ignorant! When we moved here I was amazed , dumbstruck (and repulsed…) when I realized our neighbor’s grown son(as old as me! and still living at home…) mowed the grass in his “tidy whiteys” and liked to chat while doing so in all his unattractive “splendor”! Two words for you –
    fencing and TALL hedges! Possibly an outdoor sound system to blow their butts out of the neighborhood might help too! Sacha- wanna have a really LOUD party?!!! Now we are talking! How about some motorcycle revving at let’s say … ..midnight?!!! I have only applied the fence and tall hedgese but have prayed for strength too not to begin a second plan of attack! Peace my sister, always peace. And patience…they eventually fade away to where all bad neighbors go!

    Reply
  27. Paula

    OMG, I thought I had to be the only one in this world with such neighbors.
    I don’t think I’d leave the poop on their porch in a bag, I think I’d dump it out. Let them scoop it like you had to. Same with the garbage. Is there any kind of ordinance against burning??????

    Reply
  28. Beachy

    Oh my, Corey! This is a tough one! Well, I suppose if God gave you those neighbors for you to learn patience, He’s going to have to give you some helpful hints to get you going! =)

    Reply
  29. Ruth

    Corey,
    First of all, I am so naive to think that neighbors like this could only live in MY town! I’ve been there…my husband did one “better” than the poop in the bag – he scooped the poop into their top-loading mailbox – yikes, we paid for that until we moved! How does a stereo full-blast into your bedroom window at 3:00 in the morning sound? Not good, so don’t try the mailbox trick!
    Good luck…we only solved our problem when we moved!

    Reply
  30. annieelf

    Now Mimi has got the right idea. I like her style AND her spirit.
    Sadly, I suspect that no matter what you do, their answer will be more and very creative retaliation.

    Reply
  31. carol

    Send French husband over there to charm them. Obviously you are a dumb, pipsqueak American who wouldn’t know good manners if they bit you.
    Good luck and good patience to you Corey!

    Reply
  32. Kel

    Why is it our little slices of heaven on earth can’t always be perfect? You have such a lovely home and garden I can’t help but feel for you. I would tell you to take a deep breath and practice more patience but you can’t even do that with all of the smoke and odors!

    Reply
  33. andrea

    Oh,how terrible…
    Here’s an idea-just a thought that might work-Maybe you could become friends with them, then eventually explain to them how you feel– 1 issue at a time.If they were your ‘friend’ maybe they would be more willing to listen?
    Keep us posted about it,and try to keep that patience!!
    ~Andrea

    Reply
  34. marilyn

    How frustrating! I don’t have an idea how to resolve that one, it is difficult. We finally moved from problem neighbors, but I doubt you would want to do that. I would suggest praying that they move. I have learned to be very careful what I pray for. I once prayed for patience and was definitely tested.

    Reply
  35. Rosemary

    Oh Corey,
    I feel for you. We have a crazy lady next door.
    I have no words to help, just hang in there.
    Rosemary

    Reply
  36. Celeste Coelho

    Corey take that Miraculous Medal and toss it on their roof. I used one on our drug dealing neighbors and they CONVERTED! They came to our door to invite us to their wedding and then moved. I’ve used them many times and worked like a charm. 🙂
    Celeste

    Reply
  37. Joanny

    Corey
    Whatever you do — do not lose it and revert to deeds of revenge to get back at neighbors…. do not sink to their level,
    Being friends may help? at least a small welcome basket, but I would take it slow, who knows they may not be there long, or they may misunderstand your gesture of friendship?
    Get other neighbors in the community involved, and talk about it, invite them to a community meeting not to attack them but to include them on how to take civic community pride and Earth friendly acts to keep the small town beautiful involve them in to community activities, kinda hard to be a jerk when you are invited to be on a clean up crew or planting flowers crew or whatever festivities the community does like ringing the bell crew, walking the dogs in a dog friendly area, or start a dog park crew…I guess I am saying invite them to the community to be part of the solutions and treat them like their are a valued member instead of a new comer and enlist their help who knows maybe they will learn to be civic? or not?
    Too bad! If God sent them maybe you can pray to send them away to another town…. a cosmic joke.
    Good Luck
    Joanny

    Reply
  38. Lorene

    Corey,
    I sounds like you have the neighbors from you know where. That is why I like living in the country where no one lives really close. Good luck and try to keep your cool.
    Lorene

    Reply
  39. Diogenes

    Hmmm,
    Well maybe you need to get one of those “corpse flowers” I saw at the Huntington Botanical Gardens. You know, the ones that smell so horrible when they bloom that they drive everyone away. Their flowers are over five feet tall when they open. I hear they make nice gifts 🙂
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/410763.stm
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/410763.stm

    Reply
  40. Janet

    Oh Corey, you make me laugh. Believe me, it all evens out in the end. I had a drug addicted mom living next to me for two years. It was dreadful…I will spare you the details. When she was FINALLY evicted, guess who moved in? The sweetest Mormom couple that ever existed. There isn’t even caffeine next door now. See, it all balances out. If not in this life for you…Isn’t it nice to think you will have tidy neighbors in heavan?

    Reply
  41. Joanny

    Corey
    A thought popped into my head, maybe they are trying to get rid of you and your family? Maybe they want your nice house and think if they are pesky and bad you will sell it cheap to some relative or friend of theirs?
    I know kinda crazy wild idea from out of the blue, so keep praying they leave …. My prayers are with you I think I like that idea of throwing prayer medals on their roof from Celeste, who knows for sure anything might work.
    sorry for the two comments post. . .
    Good Luck!
    Joanny
    the dowsers daughter

    Reply
  42. Melissa Bishop

    Perhaps it is time for Sacha to take up a loud, annoying musical instrument. Nothing gets your point across better than a kid learning ‘My Sharona’ on drums or ‘Smoke on the Water’ on electric guitar. Then, you’ll have something with which to negotiate.

    Reply
  43. M.J. Jacobsen

    Wowser, what a dilemma! Wish I had some sage advice for you, but I think I would resort to retaliation. Not always the best way to live though, I know.I say take Gina’s advice.

    Reply
  44. feathers

    absolutely positive energy will win…we hung prisms in our windows to reflect all the negativity away from our home,and sent good thoughts out to them. I realized that they had problems and I tried to look at them without anger, it poisons your soul.
    They moved away ,and now our little street lives in harmony…

    Reply
  45. TACE

    I feel your frustration. SERIOUSLY. We had downstairs neighbors who used to blast their music, tv, have wild parties at all times and hours and then once LITERALLY shot A GUN in the room below us when we were sleeping. Dude was all “I’m so sorry, I’m in the military, I was cleaning my gun…blah blah blah.” Never have I come so close to just wanting to hurt someone because they were so ignorant. But I didn’t, and they didn’t get better. We just eventually moved. I am not sure what life’s lesson was in all of that, patience? I’d like to have taken my patience and slapped them up side the head with it. 😉 Actually in all truth it was probably a situation the universe presented me with so that I could practice patience and tolerance. My husband repeated to me many times, they are not being evil, not trying to be at least. They’re just being truly ignorant of others around them.
    My suggestions, Do not start a war with your neighbors. I often think about the world and if we can not even make peace with the people downstairs (or next door) then how can we expect the whole planet to get along?
    If the cat is wild is there an SPCA type place to take it? Or a home you can find?
    If the dog does it’s business on your yard or steps is a fence possible or are there authorities to report it to?
    As for the bonfire, maybe you will get lucky. How much garbage could they have to burn? Maybe they are done and won’t do it again.
    If problems persist, maybe talking to them is the only only answer.

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  46. sharon

    maybe God gave the neighbors YOU to teach THEM manners, decency, and consideration. but I do agree God has an amazing sense of humor. He thumps me all the time and we laugh together.

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  47. jamie

    Oh, do I so Understand this post. Take a deep breath, Ive been in your shoes. I won’t tell you it has taken almost 10 years to calm down between neighbors. There were a few heated years with lots of vocabulary I really didn’t want my then young children hearing. Pray for calm and peace. So sorry, Jamie

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  48. S

    Turn the other cheek. Be as friendly as possible. Once they know you even just a little it will stop. Life is too short to harbor ill feelings.

    Reply
  49. wendy

    I am so evil I am secretly relieved that you have just leveled the playing field. I get depressed day after day thinking of your surroundings compared to mine…but then you go and show us the underbelly. I have a big porch, on an old house, surrounded by wonderful neighbors. Another lesson for me to stop reading with “green eyes”.

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  50. Nancy

    Neighbors. Don’t get me started. Our new neighbors built a home a few years ago, on a parcel of land that my father sold to them. During the construction, she went through 3 different contractors. That was the first sign of trouble. When the home was nearly complete, someone set fire to it around midnight. Luckilly, I was still awake and smelling the fire, I did the neighborly thing and dialed 911. The home was partially destroyed, and did I get a thank you? No, but she had the police question me as a suspect. We have not spoken with her since. My husband did try speaking to her husband a few times, but then she told him one day to stop speaking to him. Silence is golden is then case. 🙂

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  51. Lisa

    SERIOUSLY, WE HAD NEIGHBORS LIKE THAT FOR YEARS. I TRIED HELPING THEM CLEAN UP THEIR YARD, WAS NICE TO THEIR DOG, AND KIDS, EVEN STAYED KIND AND PLEASANT TO THEM THOUGH IT WAS HARD. FINALLY, WE MOVED. SO GLAD WE DID.
    HUGS FROM MAINE

    Reply
  52. Elaine

    Corey, I can sympathize with you. It is the same the world over. Hang in there perhaps someone will get through to them for you. Have you asked FH to speak with them?

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  53. marigio

    Only one word FANTASTIC, That’s what you are.
    Love Marigio.

    Reply
  54. heather

    how funny – i prayed for patience once and had a hard time of it for several months. after that, i just try on my own and don’t pray for help with that virtue anymore. good luck with the neighbors 🙂

    Reply
  55. Alexandra

    Oh, I am so sorry that they are destroying your peace! Unfortunately, you get accustomed to it eventually, and hardly notice it. I had a scary neighbor for years…I should post the picture of how badly he let his house go – so much trash in the yard that I had to look at. He eventually moved, and the new neighbors fixed it up.
    They probably won’t stay long. I bet they move around a lot.

    Reply

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