Roses and Lace, A Love Story

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Photos and Text by: Corey Amaro

Roses and lace, I cannot cut.
How can I make the curtain, if I don't cut the lace?
How can I make rose jam, if I don't cut the roses?

Standing under the cascade of roses in our courtyard, I hold up the clippers and face the challenge.

Annie tells me that shaking the rose bush and gathering the fallen petals is not how it is done. "They need to be fresh, cut by mid morning, before they release their morning perfume."

My clipper doesn't move, while I stand in awe, drinking in their beauty.

The thought of rose jam cannot shake my attitude.

Roses-on-wall 

Then without warning or thoughtful direction my mind wanders towards a memory, another place and time:

My father is sitting on the couch, I am standing behind him. He turns around and said to me, "Corey, do you truly love Yann that much, that you are willing to give up your life here at home and move to France? Think about it, you are leaving everything behind: Your home, your family, your work, your friends, your lifestyle… your language… Giving up everything like Jesus, for the sake of love."

I remember laughing, and saying, "Like Jesus?"

He looked at me, not sharing the humor in his words, and then I saw his loving concern: Could I make the cut?

I remember thinking that if I thought of it, weighed it out like my father was saying, I would never be able to say yes to Yann.

Instead I took a leap of faith, I followed my heart, and later I realized the depth of my decision.

There were times I regretted leaving my family, times where the cut was a fresh wound, times I wondered why I ever moved away, and, over time, have come to see that is only natural to feel those (these) feelings. Love is never cut and dry. It is an adventure, a journey, a life made whole.

Lace thread

Then as suddenly as that memory came up, it went away.

The roses remain staring me in the face.

The clipper in hand.

Annie looking at me, "Alors?"

Roses-black-and-white 

The first cut, as they say is the deepest, and for me without regret.




Comments

47 responses to “Roses and Lace, A Love Story”

  1. beautiful post, corey. 🙂

  2. It surely was a “leap of faith”… but very brave of you, in any case.

  3. You truly did take a leap of faith….and how fabulous is it that you have no regrets!!! Let us know how the rose jam turns out and please share the recipe.

  4. Ah Corey, you do have a way with perspective and you express it so eloquently. I think your father’s words were not ones of warning but of admiration. Thank you for sharing this beautiful memory.

  5. ooohhhh…
    so good!
    this story was my ~morning pastry~
    to enjoy with my earl grey.
    🙂
    thank you so much
    for
    the
    sweet.

  6. i love how you think,
    how you write
    and that you live your life
    so fearlessly.
    thank you for always sharing and inspiring us.
    xoxoxox

  7. kimberlyhope

    Corey, what an amazing man your father must have been. My daughter just told me she may be getting engaged soon, I will now ask her some of the things your father asked you. Looking forward to the rose jam recipe!

  8. Perfect analogy, Corey. Absolutely perfectly said.

  9. Poignant. My daughter married and moved 5 hrs away by plane. I miss her and the everyday quality of our relationship…and now hugging my little grandchildren. My son moved overseas and is building a life in Prague. As children I encouraged their spirits of adventure and independence. I applaud them. But I miss them in the every day way. Thank goodness for Skype. It helps, but it’s not the same.

  10. Penelope

    We should be proud of women, like ourselves, who followed their hearts to the other side of the world & are willing to contribute to the “big melting pot”.

  11. Marie-Noëlle

    This story is a bush of perfumd roses – from first to last word !

  12. Dear Corey,
    Thank you
    Your friend,
    Cathy

  13. Beautifully put, Corey, I couldn’t agree more!!

  14. what a touching and inspiring story. Hugs, Marty

  15. Beautiful images, beautiful words. Beautiful you.

  16. Julie Ann Evins

    The first cut is the deepest. How true. Beautifully moving words once again, I am guessing that you are feeling pensive today. Love Jx

  17. Jeanette M.

    I love love love that last picture of the roses. My morning “peek” inside France is made possible because you took that leap – so glad you did.

  18. Hi Corey:
    The way I see it is is like walking down a dirt road without shoes on. You did it Girl!!!
    You know I think every breath is an uncharted adventure.
    The best way to live life.
    peace
    carole

  19. Just think, he had that much concern for you, that is a wonderful thing. He wanted to make sure.
    Lovely post Corey.
    Rosemary

  20. martina

    It must have seemed like the bravest,most risky thing you could do at the time. Ahh but love…love conquers all.
    By the way, cut the bloom at a five leaf node. That way there will be blooms on the same branch, stem later in the season or next year. Three leaf nodes and you get more leaves. Mom taught me that years ago and while I am cutting bouquets I still hear her saying “Remember five leaf node..five leaf node. Is it time for coffee?” Mom and I love roses and coffee breaks!

  21. A very timely post.

  22. That rose jam you make will now be sweeter than honey, Corey! =)

  23. Lovely post.

  24. Corey…. your blog is like a good book that I cannot put down.. Each day I anxiously wait to ‘turn the page,’ and see what comes next. You never disappoint… Donna @ An Enchanted Cottage

  25. I love coming to your blog and reading. It was so nice to be here with you today to share this time. Your story was beautiful.

  26. Corey,
    You never stop amazing me!! Everyday you feed my soul with new thoughts & new prayers…the flashes that come to us are our greatest teachers…I think that we get glimpses of heaven and hear words to guide us to where we are supposed to be…
    xox’s
    ~j~

  27. Ah to be so brave. I wish that I had your courage to take that leap of faith. I admire you and am glad that you share all your journeys here with us. If I had been as brave we would both have been living in the same country possibly next door to each other. Alas I did not and have been regretting that choice recently as my heart and mind are in France but my body here in the UK. I know that it is never too late Like Annie but there are days when I cannot help thinking that it is. Courage is yours Corey.

  28. Corey
    oh l’amour le coeur sait ce que le coeur veut
    on ne peut pas raisonner avec une personne dans l’amour.
    Every choice we make in life requires we give up something else. If you believe in the translation given in the Bible Genesis 2:18-25 — 24. For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
    Blessed are you and your Families. . .here and abroad.
    Joanny
    the Dowsers Daughter

  29. Corey, memories are the oddest little creatures sometimes. They pop up and give a glimpse of so many things that are no longer with us, remind us of our decisions, reward us for some and sadden us for others. Always though, they bring back a small piece of ourselves that we thought was lost or forgotten. When winter is ended and spring is with us, I find that my heart is softer and the memories visit more often. They come at all hours and leave a touch of melancholy when they are gone.
    From all that I have read and seen in your life and move to France, that will always be a happy memory creature. You are blessed.

  30. Michelle M in KY

    Corey,
    Weeping…weeping…weeping!
    Today was a difficult day for me.
    Your recollection of a distant memory made me look deeper at my own memories.
    I needed those memories today while standing in Church singing “Be Not Afraid”. My dear friend passed and so many memories came flooding back to me in that moment. The Priest said that even though death may be unfair and we may even blame God when it happens. If he were really a cruel God then he would erase our memories too. Our memories are what keeps those people and us alive. Thank You for the post!

  31. I loved the photos and your thoughts today. I struggle with change and am facing a big one within the next few months. I want to be brave and learn to take more faith leaps like you.
    Thank you for saying yes to Yann and to a life in France. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of how a beautiful life can be made with the love of your life.

  32. What a lovely memory. It must have been hard for him, wanting you to follow your heart, but also wanting to protect you and knowing he would miss you. All love is a leap of faith, it can be scary, but what would life be without it?

  33. You have a lovely site… GREAT photos… I may have to ask to paint a few???
    ENJOY!
    Fifi

  34. I just love being in this journey with you. I have to say that I have never heard of rose jam…I bet that is very good.
    hugs and blessings

  35. Thank you for sharing..Your blog is so full of inspiration

  36. I often have the same feelings, plus guilt because two of my children and 4 of my grandchildren are back in the States and I don’t see them very often. But I “cut the roses” and here I am. Love it.

  37. My Dad also asked me “Are you sure” as I planned to emigrate to the other side of the world with my husband and three kids. We were going for a new begining, an adventure. He is a cautious man and didn’t quite understand why I would take such a risk.
    He now tells me that he tells his friends about his fearless and brave daughter. The one who got off a plane with husband, three kids and her life packed in eight suitcases. The one who is living life to the full and trying to find adventure in the ordinary.
    I look up to you Corey because you seem to be doing such a great job of living your adventure!

  38. Regina Clare Jane

    Oh, Corey- I just have to comment… I always am lurking round the corner, not wanting to disturb the peace I find here on a daily basis visiting you…
    but this struck my heart- I wonder how many of us have a similar story to this one- I know I do. And sometimes, still, I ponder on what my life would be like if I hadn’t made the decision I did… but as you say, this is natural. 🙂
    And, also, I will get moments where I can be doing any old thing, and my father will come to me and whisper in my ear about some long ago or recent memory… and I treasure every one.
    So, all this to say, thanks so much for being you- and sharing so much of you with us!
    xo

  39. Wow. Your dad is one wise man. I can’t help but think about how Yann will feel when he reads this. He could only love you more if that’s at all possible.

  40. Arelene jenkins

    So glad you took the leap of faith, I too move away from home ten years ago, not as far as you, but it certainly was a difficult decision. I’m so glad I did, I would of miss meeting such beautiful people. So glad your out there, I feel like I just made a new friend.

  41. sandra blanks

    Corey,
    What a beautiful and inspiring post. I love anything French, and dream of visiting there, but I don’t think I would be brave enough to give up all to move there. Ah, but for love, we will do many things. Your father was a very wise man. Anyway, now we don’t have to move far away….we can live vicariously through you.
    Sandra

  42. Corey,
    You like so many of us faced similar choices to leave behind the cherished familiar, our sense of self only to discover a rebirth … a new sense of ourselves.
    Would we have uncovered this awakening if not for severing/pruning …sacrificing a part of us for the new growth that stands fuller.
    To all my sisters who have made the leap… BRAVO!

  43. When I think of your life, I feel envy at the place where you are, the life that you lead. And yet, I have never thought about what it took to get you to that place. I am terrible with goodbyes and can only imagine how there must be times when sadness took you away. However, your life is indeed amazing – from the outside anyway. Thank you for sharing it~
    xo

  44. always a hidden gem in your words for me

  45. How incredibly beautiful. If you truly love something you let it go. Love is the most powerful of all.
    Happy Twirls

  46. I understand you so well Corey! because the same happened to me! I left everything as well, but not behind…always with me as an Ariadne’s thread

  47. and….could you gice us the recipe for the jam…? 🙂
    xoxo

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