Telling-time

Photo and Text by Corey Amaro

Once a year, in Marseille, there is a show stopper party, for urban investors, developers and their partners, that French Husband and I are invited to. It is the type of party that makes me feel like Cinderella… Luckily, I do not need a Pumpkin because my Prince Charming drives a Peugeot. Don't ask me why I say things like that.. I am goofy like that most of the time. Even though this party is so very pretty, and the food extra wonderful, and the scenery divine… I am and will always a simple person who admires the beauty in life around me.

I hope you will be, as excited as me, to see what is in store for tonight?

This year, for the first time I actually thought in advance about what to wear. I feel so organized. Maybe the lack of a kitchen in our home has allowed room in my noggin for deeper thoughts to transpire?

"The Party" has been going on, once a year, for six years. Each year there is a theme. Last year I was not able to attend, and Chelsea went in my place, it was a Circus theme, with tight rope walkers serving cocktails, rides on elephant with silk cushion to sit on, tarot cards being thrown and acrobats twirling magical surprises in the air.

This year the theme is "The Secret Garden"… doesn't that sound yummy romantic? I am glad to be going, and of course my camera is invited.

Monogram

Les-enfants  Going to parties where I do not know many people, where the language is not my first, where the conversations will focus on business, the weather and where one vacations, usually finds me with a frozen, polite smile on my face. I am naturally shy, honestly I am!

But at fifty-one years old I have finally learned a few things about going to parties where I feel like a fish out of water.

1) That most of the other people feel exactly the same way.

So if I am my natural self, others might feel keen to relax and be their natural self too. Feeling comfortable makes for a good party.

The first time I ever went to a school dance I was in the sixth grade. My mother said I could go only if: A) She chaperoned. B) If I promised to dance ever dance.

My mother chaperoning was not a problem for me. My mother was cool and my friends liked her. So that part was easy. Even though I loved to dance, dancing ever dance was another thing. I asked my mother, what if I wasn't asked to dance, then what was I suppose to do? (Please take note this was in the late Sixties, early seventies where girls rarely asked boys to dance, and dancing in a group not the norm.) My mother gave me my most cherished advice: Never refuse a boy to dance. If a boy doesn't ask you to dance, ask a boy to dance, until one says yes, or dance by yourself.

I danced every dance. Asking others to dance gave me freedom. If someone said no, I moved on to the next guy, and if all else failed I danced alone.

 

Do you have any secrets on how to feel comfortable at a party?



Comments

39 responses to “”

  1. What are you going to wear ? I want to see a picture of You and Yann ! I want to know and to see every singke details. Are you going to wear something linked to secret garden ?
    I will be thinking of you tonight and I wish I could be there with you .
    Hope to see you soon, girl !

  2. Marie-Noรซlle

    Think about all those roses you’ve plucked !
    Their petals could make a nice garment hiding many “secrets” of yours … and you would perfume the whole place all night long !!!

  3. Take lots and lots of pictures
    I love you
    Jeanneโ™ฅ

  4. Ellen Cassilly

    Hey there Corey, I’ve been out of the loop for a while. Frank’s father passed away and we went to PA for a lovely celebration of his life. Frank has three brothers and sisters. they had a fun and full childhood with lots of friends and family. The most touching thing that was recounted to me was that while speaking with THREE separate people all three ended their stories by saying that they were the fifth child!
    I loved the photos of you and Chelsea. They are marvelous. I am curious about your dress. Can we have a peak?

  5. Secrets for having fun at a big, fancy party.
    Well, you have the new dress and it sounds like you like it so that is number one and then wear very sexy french lingerie underneath…
    and if there is dancing… I look for the very best dancer, and then I cut in! Yippeee!

  6. My heart nearly stopped when you said “Secret Garden”. That’s the theme for a conference I’m speaking at in November for girls ages 12-18. (Well actually the theme is “Thrive” but I’m using the movie “The Secret Garden”. It just keeps coming to me in a myriad of ways – like now.) I cannot wait to see your pictures and hear all about it!

  7. Hi Corey, I have been away for a while balancing those balls in the air. Today I send my 17 yr old son Alex to Istanbul, Turkey. (by himself). He will be meeting my other son at Cambridge, and they will go together from there. I am excited for him but also anxious. I feel like a mother hen with her chick out of the nest. Best of all, at the end of the 2 weeks, Matthew will be home!! (after a year abroad)
    The pics of you and Chelsea are so cute! I see her Mom’s spunk and style in thoses sparkling eyes. She’s beautiful! About feeling comfortable at a party? I am shy and self- conscious, so most of all if I feel good about my dress, and I can forget about apperance and let myself relax and just be myself. You have the dress Cinderella, but don’t forget the dancing shoes. A little wine never hurts either! Take lots of photos, and one of you and Yann too please. I can’t wait to see you in the Secret Garden!

  8. Boy you hit the nail on the head when you said others feel the same way… so here’s my ammunition for those types of events:
    a glass of wine before you go
    the stealth black dress
    and then I pretend I’m someone interesting… LOL. I think it makes me come out of my shell.

  9. down two shots of vodka…wear a beautiul flowing dress in a muted tone…light on the jewwerly..and then just dazzle them with your personality!!! ;))
    en tout cas…you know what to do corey…you are just being coy…;))
    nancyxx

  10. Wear a special piece of jewelry, one that might be a conversation starter? A nice cocktail might relax you too — wink, wink. Hope you will post pictures of the soiree!

  11. Bramble

    Look around the room for the person who looks exactly like you are feeling and go over and start a conversation. This approach works in all social settings! There is immediate relief and recognition of a kindred soul and there is almost always a grateful smile to boot! That just makes you look interesting to everyone else in the room! But always be yourself (unless you will never see ANY of these people again and that is a comment for another post!)If you quickly find this person is not someone you would like to chat for very long atleast you have broken the ice, and can move on to someone else with that deer caught in the headlights, I’m so bored look! You never know who you might meet!

  12. Don’t worry, you will be there with the most handsome man at the party…and you have great legs. Just think about how jealous the other women are. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Have a great time.

  13. Colette

    A party is defined as a ‘social gathering especially for pleasure or amusement’. Go and enjoy yourself and others will too.

  14. My weapon for conquering parties where I don’t know anyone…. choose someone & ask that stranger questions about themselves & be interested. People warm right up and chat, chat, chat about themselves. lol And at the next party they seek you out like an old friend. ๐Ÿ™‚ I also like to compliment other women on their clothes etc… women don’t compliment other women enough.
    Have a ball!!!

  15. I have no tricks to share but I’m reading these suggestions in hopes of learning a few. Not knowing anyone at a party sends me into a panic, but never keeps me from going ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m sure you will do nicely, though. Have a lovely time.

  16. Hi Corey:
    You go girl!!!
    Have a blast : )
    peace
    carole
    Please send me your address so I can mail this surprise to you; You will crack up laughing : )

  17. Oh boy do I ever feel uncomfortable at parties! I was even shy at my own wedding! lol I can’t wait to see your photos!!! I’ll bet you will be the belle of the ball!

  18. I always stress out about what to wear. I had a party last Friday. I spent all day wandering around the mall until I found a nice wrap shirt at Macys. So at home when I was getting dressed for the party I had a shock when I saw the security tag still hanging on the shirt. I put it on with a cami underneath. Went back to Macys on my way to the party. Took my shirt off at the check out counter, they took the tag off, everyone around me got a good laugh and conversation. I headed off to the party without any shyness at all after that ordeal!

  19. Dearest Corey~
    First off~ I can’t wait to see your dress~
    Second, No one can ever shine brighter than you (and French husband)! I have never even met you but oh my gosh… your light shines right through my monitor blinding me in California!! Have so much fun and don’t forget about us…any picture will do~~
    I wish I could be a bug on the wall:)
    XO’s
    Janet

  20. If I see someone with an interesting drink in their hand, I inquire what it is.
    If I see someone wearing something interesting/beautiful, I compliment them.
    If I see someone hanging back trying to hide, I go hide with them and say something to the effect of how uncomfortable these events can be.
    Almost without fail, all of these will start a conversation. The person usually says something else interesting and then I ask them about that. Paying compliments, paying attention, and enjoying the moment!
    Hope you have an enchanted evening!

  21. Julie Ann Evins

    Wish you a wonderful evening and cannot wait to see pics of the Le jardin secret. What are you wearing ? Please be sure to get yourself in a picture ! jx

  22. I can’t wait to see what you wear and you have handsome hubby with you. I think just being you is the best thing. HOw could they not like you and takes lots of pictures so we can see and have fun…lots of it.
    hugs and love

  23. I usually spend some time making sure i look good. Then i tell myself i look good, beautiful, incredible, gorgeous!
    HA, ha.
    It helps, I have to say. And nice glass of wine too.
    Corey have fantastic time, Secret Garden! Please post lots of pictures.

  24. I feel the same way every time I prepare to attend a Portuguese party, since my command of the conversational language is still halting. Somehow, though, I always survive, since there are enough Anglophones around to bail me out ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. The parties I feel most comfortable at are the ones I host – really. I think it is a control issue. People come to our home and stay hours and hours and hours and I love it.
    Ah, going to parties is another thing. I think I expect too much from myself instead of having fun and I just dread them, though I usually have a good time.
    In college, many moons ago, my best friend and I would go to dances and before we left we would make a pact to have fun no matter what. Admissions were 50 stag, 75 cents drag, which meant single or with a date. It was the late 60’s – before the world changed. We would hit the student union with 25 cents and find some unsuspecting guys, plead a tale of woe about mom and dad not sending money – could they pretend to be our date going in for a quarter? It never failed. They always did as long as we danced a dance with them, which often lead to several dances and a walk back to our dorm. Soon, other girls would come with us as they knew we would have fun no matter what.
    I guess the lesson is to go to a party with half the expectation and leave being the one who danced ’til the music stopped.

  26. martina

    Wear red shoes.

  27. Are you home yet, Cinderella?

  28. wow, I’ve been reading your blog awhile if I remember your other post and also saw it in print somewhere else. Have a good time and take that camera!

  29. You will be belle of the ball. I usually enjoy parties and I’m not shy so conversation is easy for me. But what’s difficult are DH’s corp parties. Then I become someone’s wife and not one of THEM. Sadly women at those parties are very unfriendly and right in front of me they flirt with DH and talk shop leaving me out of the conversation. One time this woman said “DH you look so warm” as she adjusted his tie, then she took off his coat and said “relax get comfortable”. She had her hands all over him. When we got home I did the same to him and we had a good laugh. I just smile and think, hey girls, guess who comes home with me?
    Enjoy your party.

  30. Parties . . . One of my sisters and my brother are gifted with the ability to walk up to a group of strangers and deftly insinuate themselves into ANY conservation. I think having “thick skins” helps. My husband is shy but a VERY good listener – he always makes friends at parties. I just act like I’m comfortable – an introvert in an extrovert’s body, you could say.
    A former colleague gave me excellent advice once, when conversation lags, bring up the subject of BACON. Everyone has something to say about it. He was right!
    Enjoy your party!

  31. I too am very shy, so know how you feel, I bet you will both look geogous, look forward to viewing the photo’s and have a wonderful time. Phillipa. Australia.

  32. I feel as you do at parties and the best advice is yours! feel yourself!
    Enjoy the party!!!!! (people going do not know yet, but you are SO interesting to meet!!!! they are so lucky to have the opportunity! ๐Ÿ™‚
    xoxo

  33. Cory,
    Party time can be both exciting and scary. Have a great time. I can not wait to read what they did with the secret garden theme.
    I am new to your blog. It is interesting that you live in France. You have a lovely daughter.
    It is a toss up between chocolate and tarte tartins for me.

  34. Have fun at the party!
    I agree with you…everyone is a little bit nervous! Some just pretend better than others!
    My mom used to tell me that by the time I was 40 I wouldn’t be nervous in situations like that anymore…I’d be more comfortable in my own skin…I agree!
    And now I give my oldest the very same advice!
    Have fun…a secret garden party sounds fantastic!

  35. A couple gin and tonics are my secret weapon for relaxing at a party.The very fact that I am now 53 and dont really care if people like me or not really helps me enjoy myself. This started after I turned the big five oh.
    Cindy

  36. Penelope

    Have a fun time, Corey!
    I’m sure that you will enjoy yourself this time. When I talk to someone that I don’t know I try to remember to ask questions that don’t have a “yes” or “no” answer. Questions that start with how & why are always more interesting.

  37. Your white dress made you look like Cinderella against all those black dresses. I bet every woman wished they had worn some color other than black. I never feel comfortable at parties so I cannot give you any advice. I love the picture of you and Chelsea. Looking forward to seeing more pictures.
    chris

  38. Sounds like a wonderful party Corey! I haven’t been able to write in, because I can’t view this during the day, because of work. I catch up in the weekends! Your husband seems very fashionable-I guess just as most French people. Those couches look very cozy! Hope you had fun! By the way I was the girl who found your site when I was looking for an old madeline tin.

  39. I can’t imagine you being shy, Corey. You always write straight from the heart and with a good sense of humour. You know exactly what to write, too.

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