Living with a Teenager

 

 by Corey Amaro

As I put the pedal to the metal going over the hill to take Sacha to his BMX trials, I thought to myself, if I had to use one word to describe myself it would be spontaneous.

My thoughts were racing, as I tried to put in order the things I had to do today. Being a taxi driver was not one of them. Yet there I was driving Sacha who had misplaced the thought of telling me his plans. Sacha and I are alike, we live by the seat of our pants, though Sacha is not as seasoned as I am… He does not know that to live by the seat of your pants you need to know the cards in your hand, and who holds the trump card. In this case I was the either going to be the source of his frustration, and a good lesson learned, or spontaneous, with a trick up her sleeve.

Sacha woke me up saying, "Are you ready?"
I barely opened my eyes, "What time, where… when?"

Skillfully, like a master card-player he put his cards down one by one. I sat up, rubbed my eyes and thought- This is motherhood, this is the result of my DNA going one way, this is my teenage boy who has not yet grasped the idea of being organized. I listened, reined in my desire to give a frustrated lecture and instead bartered, "Okay, if you clean your room, and sweep the courtyard I'll take you, you gotta work fast, we need to leave in twenty-five minutes and your room makes a bombed area look good."

As I raced over the mountain, I thought to myself… I like being spontaneous, but only when everyone around me is a bit more organized than myself. I told Sacha that the essence to being yourself, is to put your best card forward and to follow it with a strong lead. Being spontaneous is a wonderfully quality as long as you know the boundaries, or if you have a mother who can relate.

I put the things I had to do in perspective, in order of importance. Taking Sacha to his activity was important to me, he is a good boy, and I have to honor that goodness, even if he is unorganized. I am spontaneous which often leads me in too many directions and scattered. Though at the same time it allows me to reshuffle my cards, finding a new game in the deal of my daily life.

What is one word that describes you best?



Comments

32 responses to “Living with a Teenager”

  1. You are the mother every teenager dreams about! 🙂
    One word to describe me?
    I can’t.
    “Mother of four teenagers” – at one time or another? I did have four at one time, because the little one was something like 8 or 9, when she realized being a teenager could be fun, seeing how her elder sisters drove me nut (her brother somehow knew to play his cards in that quiet teenage boy sorts of way, like yours). She tried only a little bit because I put a damper on her aspirations: “Little Miss Sunshine, I said to her, I can see the talent in you, but please don’t waste it on me!”

  2. jend’isère

    This is not a trick question like those for job interviews_ when you make your weaknesses your strengths? Necessity makes me different adjectives to different people, whether I like it or not. So I have resolved to just let that be MYSELF. Unique ol’ me-voila!

  3. Contented.
    I have just instigated a new rule in our house. Teenagers seem to bring so many more jobs to add to my list. If they plan in advance that’s fine but if they need me to change my plans then sometimes I feel unappreciated. So now any time they leave it too late or forget something that they really ‘need’ I oblige. In return they owe me the length of time the job took me. So far it’s working well my ironing pile is diminishing and the bathrooms are sparkling!

  4. Organization. I like to plan ahead, even little things, friends and family always making fun of me because of it, but when the time comes, everyone is relying on me….

  5. The first word that came to mind is “open” – and it certainly surprised me. It’s not a word I would have used before to describe myself but with the changes life has presented recently I have found it the best way to operate. And it’s proving to be a good experience.

  6. Wow…what a wise mom you are.

  7. Imaginative.
    If something captures my imagination, then I’m up for it. Whether it’s in the plans or not.

  8. PRESENT. I am finally present in my life and fully aware of the possibilities for my future. I am also present in my children’s life despite being their mother for the past 19 years and loving them unconditionally, but to a fault I loved them so much that I dissappeared, underneath all the wants and needs. Now I can respond to those needs but not lose myself in them. At 51 I am now fully present.

  9. What a great mom you are Corey and what a great son you have.
    I’ll have to think on how to contain the essence of myself in one word.

  10. compassionate… although I’ve been in situations where others are to describe me in one word. They have said “joyful” or “joyous” Not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that my word was different??!

  11. want an honest answer? …..horrified!
    only for this
    very short
    moment, though …… please, God
    only have one child, my darling son, but at the moment he is working my and my sweet husband’s LAST GOOD NERVE
    prayers for all tested parents, and testing offspring!
    judy in San Antonio

  12. I hope I can have the same spontaneity when I have children, I do admire such an outlook very much – thank you for sharing!

  13. Juggler (or multitasker) for all the reasons you evoke in your post today; I love Ana’s response!

  14. martina

    I’m like Gracie. Organized, plan ahead, write down schedule/list on one piece of paper. No human kids here. Wish I could be spontaneous but it isn’t in the schedule.

  15. “MOST” of the time organized! 🙂 But I can change plans in a heartbeat!

  16. smart! I need to remember that trick next time, to barter for some things. and not believe them when they say”remember, I told you about it!” 🙂 one word? ack…I’ll be thinking about that.
    LIdy

  17. Franca: Unfinished
    Mr Big Butt: Overbearingfusspot (his word)
    Sheba: Boobylicious

  18. I’m a ‘seat of my pants’ type of girl as well!!!
    one word…..just one??
    adaptable…..
    xx

  19. Elaine L.

    I asked my husband and he said “spiritual” in a quiet way. That surprised me. I need to think about it.
    ~elaine~

  20. I’m spontaneous too! And a procrastinator, sadly. Oh well…

  21. Passionate.
    Which is good because passionate can lead to other words like: loving, determined, spontaneous, vibrant.
    But it’s bad because it can also lead to:
    hot-tempered, misunderstood, inarticulate, overly articulate.
    Though, my hot-tempered-ness comes from my passionate love for good, and is a facet of my vibrancy.
    I like it. Passionate.

  22. Darlene

    tender-hearted

  23. Shelley

    BOSSY, vert bossy

  24. I love that you honor his goodness, even if he is unorganised… so beautiful. I don’t know that I can think of one word to describe me or anyone else I know… we all have many gifts and wonderful attributes as well as the not so wonderful, lol… I hope I am as gracious in accepting others as others are in accepting me.

  25. Opinionated… ask my sisters 🙂

  26. Thinker.
    I think even when I no longer am! I am very productive in that department; most people just can’t see the product, that’s all.

  27. Eclectic!

  28. Curious is mine. I love learning new facts and going new places-sort of how I ended up in France.

  29. You’re fabulous! I asked My daughter she said I’m funny.

  30. ….love(ly)….

  31. Warrior.
    Corey, to this I am sure you can relate, because you are a warrior poet.

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