Before the French Armchair Beauty Contest began, the French Armchairs quickly glanced over their shoulders to see who was who and who was wearing what. As the curtain rose the French Armchairs straighten their backs, tucked in their tummies, lift their chins, strutting their stuff in front of the adoring audience of Sofas and Tables hoping to find a clever match.
Miss Smooth Velvet-
She thought she stood a chance as monochrome colors were in. Though her bone structure was not as classy as Miss Eighteen Century, and her bottom wasn't as pumped up as should be in these type of shows. That is why she wore velvet…thinking chic covered sins.
Miss Sunshine-
Felt like crying! She got the dance routine wrong and ended up facing the wrong way. How she wished she could do a solo routine. Certainly the dance steps would be easier. Groups…or as the French Armchair Beauty Contest like to call it: Teamwork, threaten her.
Miss Checker Board-
Loved to play the field, and waited happily to make her mark, "Chest!" She laughed looking at her own, she love the play on words.
Ms. Lone Runner-
Wasn't an Armchair, but a chair nevertheless. She stood her ground declaring that the French Armchair Beauty Contest was prejudice and politically incorrect.
Miss Stuffy-
Begged to have her name changed to Miss Brocade. Though the judges couldn't understand why. They asked, "What is in a name anyway?"
"Ha-Ha," she puffed, "Everything!"
Miss Royal-Ette-
Elegantly dressed in Aubusson knew that she stood a chance. She was glad her parents did not name her Stuffy!
Miss One and Another-
The twins wanted to enter as a pair. The judges threw their pencils
in the air, "Enough is enough, this is a single ladies French Armchair
Beauty contest. One or the other has to go.
Miss Down and Out-
Wished she had more time, more money…. next year looked promising.
Miss Louisette the Sixteenth-
Knew what side was her best, and flaunted it as often as possible. A girl has to do what a girl has to do. Winning was her goal.
Miss Champagne Bottle Top Holder-
Knew her name was far far too long. But that was the least of her problems. She wondered if she had enough time to make some arms, if Miss Lonesome's case did not go through.
Miss Pink-
Original was her real name. Pink was her cover. Seduction was her game. She played to win.
Miss Cain-
Threw a fit when she heard props were not allowed. Funny how she did not believe she was better without a prop.
I do not know where this is going… it is Monday… and I like armchairs. Just thought I would let you know that about me.
The photo above is of Annie years ago.
Do you have a favorite place to sit? Since I am not very tall often my feet do not touch the ground when I sit in a chair. Therefore my favorite place to sit is on the floor but that doesn't cut it in France.
When I first arrived in France French Husband took me to an office party. He said it was a casual-after-work-have-a-drink-sorta-thing. It was at an office friend's nutshell apartment.
I wore casual. Everyone stood around looking uncomfortable, so I thought I would sit on the floor hoping to give a lead in for people to relax, talk in a group, and get cozy.
Wow was that a faux pas! The instant I sat down I knew I was doing a big no-no. I could hear a silence fill in the space between them and me. How I wished I could have disappeared. I sat still turning every shade of red. Then I stood up and went to the bathroom. To this day I wonder what was so bad about sitting on the floor. Though I have never seen anyone sit on the floor since.
Silly rules.
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