The French Speedo

swimming hole

When I brought French Husband home to meet my parents, they were
skeptical. Especially my Father who often said, "Out of all the men in
Willows my daughter falls for a Frenchman."

My Father studied Yann's every move– to the point of assuming that
French Husband's Speedo was a motive for seduction and not simply a
swimsuit. 

"Real men do not wear Speedos," my Father advised.

swimming hole

The first time my Father saw French Husband wear a Speedo he nearly died. Under his breath in disgust he said, "Tell him to take it off."

French Husband saw the look my Father gave, but could not understand
the words he had quickly uttered. "Repeat me what he say you."

Being a naughty tease I pronounced each word slowly, "My.. Father…said…to…take…it (pointing to his Speedo)…off."

"Off? Nue? Vraiment?"

I shrugged. My Father asked, "Corey what the hell is he saying?"

(That was how it was in the beginning. I repeated everything everyone would say slowly. Even though for the most part everything said was in English. Though the tempo and accent often got it the way.)

swimming hole

"I told him what you said."

"Told him what?"

"What you said: "To take it off"."

My Father rolled his eyes, "Corey! God forbid!"

Then we laughed.

French Husband studied our faces, our quickly said words, then our laughter. He was confused.

I told him, "Men do not wear Speedos in Willows."

French Husband grinned, "George, you swim nude?"

"Oh Jesus Christ Yann!"

My Father and French Husband got along after that. French Husband ditched the Speedo for swim-trunks that he called his, "Sac a Pommes de Terre".

——————

Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?



Comments

46 responses to “The French Speedo”

  1. this is funny!
    going back to your previous post… I used exactly the same words ‘my head is going to explode’ when I married my American husband, moved to the States and was learning English.

  2. Jane speaks such very charming English !! My dear Jean Michel will only wear Speedos, much to the undisguised disgust of our children !! Must be a French thing for men d’un cerain age ! Hoping to come down your way at just before Christmas, so will be in touch. Love the chairs….

  3. This is such a funny story Corey! I thought for a moment FH was going to take your fathers words seriously and strip off! What a start to a relationship that would have been. As for how he describes the alternative swim trunks: I still have tears of laughter running down my cheeks!!!

  4. Thanks for a good laugh. Sac a pommes de terre! *grin*

  5. Gorgeous Corey! made my laugh again….I see we are connecting on the water theme! 🙂

  6. Natasha Burns

    OH gosh Corey, your stories are keeping me enthralled every day. You are a wonderful story teller!
    Was he calling the “swim-trunks” (which, by the way, we call Boardshorts in Australia, in case you wanted to know) a bag of potatoes? My French is beyond rusty, but I recognise my favourite food (potatoes of course) anywhere!

  7. Love your stories
    Love you♥

  8. Yes at night in the dark whilst the kids were little and asleep… our backyard pool… feels like a million years ago… x

  9. I am rolling on the flooer.

  10. I love when I start my day cracking up with Corey!!! Such a sweet & delightful story and memory!!!!

  11. Laughing out loud at 5 am – the best way to start your day. I have gone skinny dipping in our spa in our backyard, then a helicopter went over with a spotlight and I never did again…I was mortified.

  12. somepinkflowers

    what a great story!
    but NATURALLY living in florida
    i have skinny-dipped many times…
    the older i get,
    the later in the day it must be,
    the darker the sky.
    🙂
    {{many old tarzen movies
    were filmed 1 hour from my house.
    monkey descendants still inhabit
    the trees around the silver river
    where the filming took place.
    i have fed these Tarzan-monkey wild-things
    Oreo cookies
    which they twist apart
    and then eat the icing inside first
    before consuming the 2 chocolate cookies.
    it is all true.
    none of them wear Speedos, BTW.}}

  13. It has been a secret desire of mine for oh so many years to go skinny dipping! Just like dancing under the moon with nothing on except flowers in my hair..Corey, what is it about your blog that makes these totally unsensible wishes bubble up inside us & ask.. “why not” or, …”do I dare”?
    p.s. Jane sure could hold her breath under water for a very long time!
    Once again, thank you. Linda C.

  14. Sheila Cain-Sample

    I loved this installment. I’m from Canada and live quite comfortably with French culture in close proximity. We often use a lot of french phases…’sac de pomme de terre’ very funny.

  15. Corey, so so funny!!
    And yes, one summer afternoon, I was so hot after working in the garden, my husband was already in the pool, must say it felt so good to take my clothes off and jump in to the cold water.
    And he loved it….
    Love love your stories.

  16. Why yes I have.

  17. Tell FH that Speedos are very sexy. Many Australian men wear Speedos at the beach.
    Love your stories, Corey. C’est la vie!!

  18. Great story, thank you for sharing!
    I absolutely LOVE the pictures. Would love to enlarge them and hang them on the wall..

  19. becky up a hill

    Oh Corey, you did it again. You made me laugh and cry in the same post. Loved it. I can hear your Dad saying that to Yann. Yes have gone skinny dipping with my sisters and Mom up in the Sierra’s in the Summer. Back in the day…My Mom thot it was the only way to swim.

  20. Kimberly C.

    Yes, yes I have gone skinny dipping. But probably not what you think. I was living with two girlfriends at the time. There was a pool in the backyard. Those girls made me do it.

  21. Denise Moulun-Pasek

    Most definitely! And I would do it again!
    My heart ached for you and Yann in the story until your Dad relented and then got along with Yann. Cultural differences are not always fun, I know.

  22. Girl, if you don’t find yourself a publisher and write a book you’re missing one hell of a big boat!

  23. I also got teary eyed reading about your Dad and Yann but laughed out loud when Yann said sac a pommes de terre.

  24. OH, Corey what a sweet glimpse at the two men in your life at the time and the dear translator they had between them.

  25. Hysterical–never read anything like this–and I read a lot.

  26. Great story! When my sister and I were little my grandfather would take us to the river to swim. He wore the speedo and we would be mortified! What is it with Americans and speedo’s? Today is my husband and I’s second wedding anniversary! Hope you have a great day!
    °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
    Happy Love Married Love Feast Mindi!
    Corey

  27. You have the most wonderful family stories, Corey. It is always a total delight to visit you. I’m so glad you are sharing these story treasures.

  28. The speedo story is so funny. Yann came back with the perfect comment.
    I haven’t skinny dipped, but think I would love to do it.

  29. The Brocantess

    Oh my gosh I am dying laughing at Yann’s response to your Dad!!!!! That is hilarious.

  30. That is a fantastic story. Your French Husband sure did charm his way into your father’s good graces! Not a big surprise though. 🙂

  31. Julie Ann Evins

    Love the sac de pomme de terre – I have loved “old lady knickers” being described as “applecatchers”! Imagine explaining that to Yann in the beginning … luv Jxx

  32. Ha! Love this one Corey!
    Unless you’re a real swimmer type, American men really don’t do Speedos. I can remember when I was little, my dad had a visiting client from Germany, Heinz. Well my mom took every visiting business man to Disneyland and Will Rogers State Beach at the end of Sunset Blvd. Although it was cold out, Heinz wanted to take a swim and ran happily into the surf in his Speedo-like tiny, form fitting trunks. WHOA. WOW. We were in shock. So fun to remember it now.

  33. Shelley Noble

    Fabulous clip! Fabulous story! Speedos only look good on nude models!

  34. I laughed myself silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. I loved the Tarzan and Jane film clip on youtube. In Australia a lot of men still wear speedos. Hilarious story and does FH still wear speedos?

  36. yep not often enough though, every time i go skinny dipping in our backyard pool my husband seems to think thats an open invitation…..sometimes that just defeats the purpose of the swim….you know cooling off and then getting all hot and botherered…..lol
    hey Corey do you use your camera on auto settings or do you set your own aperture and shutter speed ect….. i am doing a course and although i understand the idea still struggle with getting it all together at once

  37. La Framéricaine

    It is quite funny really that the FrancoAmerican relationship of my husband and myself is a funhouse distortion mirror of yours and Yann’s. Our SF bar was the Rawhide and Le F has been in the USA for 22 years. It was his brother, P, who wore the Speedo and offended the sense of propriety of the onlookers. It’s all so poignant…

  38. Whoa….these photos are gorgeous! Assuming they ARE photos….
    ______________
    Thank you Laura,
    They are photos of a natural spring nearby.
    Corey

  39. Hi Corey,
    My husband is German and I knew I would have to set him straight about the American way of wearing swim trunks and jeans. He used to wear his jeans tight in a unflattering non-cowboy way. He learned the sexy way quickly!
    I have only skinny dipped once and that was in a river in Jamaica. Fun was had by all. I’m top heavy and it was great to see the girls floating on the water. I could only wish they sat up like that all the time.

  40. Linda Tunnell

    I’m not sure I like the music that plays now.Is that yours or is it just my computer, is there a on off switch. adore your blog but that music has got to go.
    ————-
    Hi Linda
    Thank you for reminded me. The music came on with the slide show I had on the blog other day. I have since turn the sound off.
    It was jarring wasn’t it!
    Corey

  41. skinny dipping…yep,, and I still do, even at my age.

  42. Your French Husband is a funny man!
    I can only imagine the conversations between him, you and your dad!

  43. Farmboy Husband told me that on warm days he and a few buddies would occasionally cut school for a period of two in order to go swimming in the nearby railroad reservoir. Of course they had to skinny-dip, so they could put their dry clothes back on afterwards in order to return to school!

  44. Parisbreakfasts

    rolling on the floor laughing outloud!!!!!
    cultural differences…
    aren’t they wonderful 🙂

  45. Great story!
    When I introduced Swiss Husband to my family, it was at my brother’s house, at the pool. It wasn’t my dad but my almost teen nephews….they immediately began calling him “Uncle Speedo.” he had been in the US only a few months and I hadn’t yet explained to him the concept of swim trunks. Years have passed, and my nephews still call him “Uncle Speedo” even though he now wears American-style swim trunks (and complains about it) when in the US 🙂
    And when his brother came for our wedding, not having yet met my family, my sister saw this man at the hotel pool whom she immediately knew to be SH’s brother. She initially told us it was because “he was handsome and looked just like him.” Later my nephews said it was because of the tell-tale speedo.

  46. Lol! Oh my gosh, you are funny, Corey! You have the best short stories.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *