Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Where Do We Go From Here?

Vars-clock

I had a revelation this morning as the four of us (Chelsea is home for the weekend.) sat at the kitchen table talking and stuffing our faces with cafe au lait and baguettes.
Sacha (who just got his braces off,) will be going off to school next year. That revelation woke me up like a slap in the face. Next year sounds like today.
I watched the two of them from across the breakfast table and thought, "Where did the time go? How did those two chubby babies get from sleepless nights, dirty diapers, the constant "Why", the read me another story to this independent state?"

French Husband cleared off the table and started to do the dishes as I sat in a stupor thinking, "Alone. No children. Quiet. Less laundry. Full fridge. Just the two of us in this house." I looked over at French Husband as his back was to me as he washed the dishes.

The clock ticks and I listen.

Comments

43 responses to “Where Do We Go From Here?”

  1. Linda

    It’s like a big smack in the face when the reality of this hits home…well Corey, looks like there might be another motorbike adventure or two, or three, or…?. Linda C.

    Reply
  2. Sandy

    Corey,
    My youngest just left home a few months ago and I wondered the same thing. I was quite surprised that there is actually life after children. I thought I might fall into a depressed stupor but I have found life to be even more full. All those things I have always wanted to explore I was free to do now. I have embraced this season and it really is OK. Funny thing is, I actually see and spend more time with my son and daughter now that they are on their own and their visits consist of actual visiting rather than a quick “hi” or “bye” as they enter or exit the door. My husband and I are enjoying rediscovering conversation and closeness without interruption. Just wait, you and Yann will set off on a whole new adventure and hopefully it will be the ride of your life!

    Reply
  3. Vicki

    Yes you sit there and wonder how did we get here so fast….but then again we started traveling, less laundry, you don’t know what time they get home etc. I still miss them everyday but am enjoying living my own story!!! Enjoy every moment!!!

    Reply
  4. Redness

    Less dishes, more adventures, more fun … your time is on the way. Get ready to enjoy empty nesting once the shock subsides. xo

    Reply
  5. Julie Ann Evins

    So poignant Corey, I hate the process of change (any change even when it is for the best !) but once Im through it I quickly embrace the next phase. It is a chance for reinvention. Anyway this is you we are talking about and one thing that I am absolutely certain of is that your adventures will continue. You are a such a life force Corey, I am certain you will not be still for a moment, we shall all embrace the next chapter together, with luv jx

    Reply
  6. Julie Ann Evins

    Oh and where have the pretty boxes next to the different posts disappeared to Corey ? Is it a leeeetle techonology episode ?!

    Reply
  7. Sheala

    It is hard to watch your babies leave. BUT! There are blessings in that too. Look for them, they will come.
    Remember….there are always grandchildren ♥

    Reply
  8. Paula S In New Mexicoc

    If I know you, Corey, there is already an adventure in the making. Life without children in the house is like one endless “date”. FUN

    Reply
  9. Rebecca

    And you two still so young and so much in love! Sounds like a honeymoon is coming next year.

    Reply
  10. pauline

    Your motorcycle trip this summer was just a preview of all that awaits you in your new freedom. There is always something in life to celebrate!

    Reply
  11. Beverly

    I understand Corey…David will be starting college this fall also (we hope!).
    If we didn’t have our spunky little girl…oh my!
    I’m sure that life after the children leave holds adventures…we just need to find them!

    Reply
  12. Joan@anythinggoeshere

    It will BE ALRIGHT!!!

    Reply
  13. Jeanne

    I liked it so much better when our children were home
    Others love their freedom.
    Me I am happy with a house full of faces of those I love
    Family faces are magic mirrors.
    Love you
    All I ever wanted since a young child to be a great Mother and wife and have my family always near
    Love you

    Reply
  14. cathi

    I felt the same way too, as time slips by so fast – but am enjoying the freedom tremendously. I miss my kids but it’s fabulous to watch what wonderful adults they have turned into! Happy Sunday!

    Reply
  15. Sheila Cain-Sample

    I understand completely, I often say ‘where has the time gone’ my babies are not babies any more. As long as along the way you remember and cherish each and every moment there are more to come, new and better ones. Enjoy each and everyone moment in your life.

    Reply
  16. Tamara

    Its everything. Time, space, and a feeling of being very present to what is now. Opening deeply into yourself and experiencing feelings that have never existed before. Exciting, scary, lonely, filling, joyous. Everything…….everyday!

    Reply
  17. cathy

    Corey, don’t worry, it takes some adjusting to,but time with hubby is all the more sweeter,and when the kids come home you appreciate it even more.
    I can still remember the sparkle in my dad’s eye when all of his children were home.

    Reply
  18. Vicki’s Bit-o-Earth

    The response of your readers thus far has been pretty positive, and that’s good because life does go on after kids leave home.
    I too have sent all three of my boys off to college and into their own lives, and I feel obligated to say that I cried my eyes out for weeks. Every time I walked by their rooms, I cried.
    It was not easy by any means… but now, two years later, I can say that life does go on. New things enter … more time with hubby is wonderful, a new business, new friends, new projects… all good. There is that big hole of “change,” and the inevitable life changes that are irrevocable as new “significant others” seriously enter their lives – and yours … but when “your babies” bring “their babies” home!!! OMG, what joy! As I’ve read your blog for awhile now, I can comfortably say that though you will feel the “big empty” too, your personality is a joyful one and you will bounce back. Guaranteed! (:

    Reply
  19. The Brocantess

    I understand. My clock was set for next year, but due to changing circumstances my last one left over the summer. It has been 3 months and I am just beginning to feel like myself again. Now you understand why I am heading your way over Thanksgiving 🙂

    Reply
  20. Lieselotte

    I often wonder where the years have gone, everything I remember about my son
    ( 13 ) being a baby seems like yesterday.
    And in a couple of years – the house so quiet, no children´s laughter…sniff…
    Now I can understand how my parents must have felt when I left home. But – that ´s the course of life.

    Reply
  21. Ed in Willows

    If this summer is any indication of what life will be after the kids are gone, You and FH are in for the rides of your lives. Start making your “Bucket List” now …… an pack light. I can’t wait to read about all your adventures.

    Reply
  22. Denise Moulun-Pasek

    Same here. I will have to re-imagine my life. Time for some serious play and some serious alone time with my husband. What will be our “projet de vie” when the biggest life project so far has been having and raising a family.
    You know, it could be a lot of fun…
    Denise

    Reply
  23. Sugar

    My daughter is same age as Sacha – she too will be off next year, but her big brother is currently living at home and attending college. We’re enjoying this season of togetherness a great deal!

    Reply
  24. Laura

    An empty nest has its advantages…the first morning after my youngest left for college…I went downstairs to find my husband making breakfast in the nude. I asked him….What are you doing? Why are you standing there naked?
    He replied, “because I can”.
    It’s a new adventure and it will be fun…until they come home again!
    🙂

    Reply
  25. jend’isère

    I have tried to take the hands off the clock, whose face will smile back.

    Reply
  26. M-Noëlle

    Well, as a matter of fact, our 2 teenagers were out on Friday night… and when my husband and I had dinner, we both looked at the logs in the fire place and said : “well here we are, only the 2 of us !”

    Reply
  27. joanny

    Corey
    With each passing season -punctuated by birthdays, holidays, anniversary’s hardly noticing them pass so swiftly,
    Milestones –crawling, walking, talking, school, first loves,— and thinking to myself –they will learn much more then I will ever know,,,
    Always changing watching them grow,, but the one constant is LOVE,,shared between us.
    Breath deeply, enjoy the ever changing moment with love, forgiveness, and compassion for ourselves and each other and all sentient beings,
    LOL
    Joanny
    the dowsers daughter

    Reply
  28. Kristy

    Funny how your post coincided with my own thoughts late last night. One is going off into the military after Christmas. The next one will go off to college in two years. The last one, I have at least six years, but time does go fast and oh, how I know it. So we are appreciating our time in the present. Round two ~ You will have grandchildren eventually!!! Best wishes Corey!
    Kristy in Oregon

    Reply
  29. Kathie

    Corey, now’s the time to make a list of all the things you’ve said you’d need to wait till both children were out of the nest before you could start, so you’ll be ready to “hit the ground running” when Sacha goes away to school. Maybe start writing your book? Or enroll in (ahem!) Portuguese classes? Or get Willow tuned up for another long road-trip with FH? I’m sure you can compile a very long list of ideas!

    Reply
  30. Ellen Cassilly

    You two will be great. Still a house full of love.

    Reply
  31. Franca Bollo

    Taking the unsentimental view from the standpoint of evolution, once one’s spawn achieves independence, they, the parents, become redundant.
    You can pop me next time we meet!

    Reply
  32. Melinda

    Corey:
    Are you happy??? Melinda, The House of Tuscany – My husband Gary and I met you at Round Top, ear surgery etc. Hope you remember. I wish I was there for you to talk to, I feel your fears.

    Reply
  33. momof5

    My five are 18 to 28. The worst for me was the missing each one before they left. Each day I mourned the passing of time until I knew that particular child would leave; like what you are doing now with Sacha. This year has been different but nice having time to rediscover my marriage and make new plans. Because our house seemed so quiet and empty we volunteered for a program to house patients and families coming to our city for medical treatment. Now there are children and teens in our home once again but we are not entirely responsible for them. Life has new possibilities. My entire crew is going to Seattle to visit my youngest daughter who goes to college out there. A different than usual Thanksgiving but even with grown children the adventures continue. Being who you are Corey I’m certain yours will too.

    Reply
  34. mindi

    Soon it will be planning weddings and french grandbabies! Time goes by sooo fast!

    Reply
  35. Shannon

    You know what’s nice though? You didn’t look at Yann and wonder, “Who is that guy I married?” So many people go through their years not really connecting with their spouse. When the kids leave, there are no distractions anymore and they’re faced with only each other, but don’t know how to relate to one another.
    You and Yann not only nurtured your kids so that they could go out on their own with confidence, but you took care of your marriage as well so that it could weather any changes that come up in life.

    Reply
  36. Bramble

    Corey- We too had a taste of this last summer as the shaggy haired wonder worked @ a camp 2 states away! Strange not to hear the Mom, Mom, Mom refrain or need to do carpool duty but it was also nice to discover spontaneous surprises with the Mr. Let’s go out to brunch? Sure? Wanna go on a picnic and quick sail? OK! Wanna dance in the kitchen and have nobody laugh at us? I am so there! Ofcourse we were happy to have him back home when the summer job was done but it made me think I will be happy for him to test his wings & independence when the time comes. He knows we are always here for him. Makes me think I might not have such a hard time “empty nesting” if I keep it in those terms! Or…maybe I am just in denial!!!Either way, you are not alone!

    Reply
  37. Joann

    I started my family young, at 18, and knew the day she was born my job was to prepare her to leave. I felt that way raising all 3 daughters and they have made me very proud. Now I have grandchildren 30,25,19 and 13 and there have been no new babies. So few years ago I started longing for the days I spent with my little girls, they were such good days. And now we are preparing to say good bye to my middle daughter … and she told me the other day she wants to be remembered by her achievements…and I sighed and realized I had done my job as well as I could. And that is really all we can do Corey is prepare them to fly out of the nest. Now you and French husband can renew your courtship and ride motorcycles (as if you don’t have a head start) and be free to fly also and cherish every moment you have.

    Reply
  38. Kimberly

    I am right with you Corey. Our son Joshua leaves for Navy boot camp on December 15th. Each day is closer to him leaving and I don’t feel like I am ready to let him go but I have no choice. Today I scratched his back and couldn’t shake the thought of him being gone. I will miss him dearly as he starts his journey in life but at the same time I smile from pride thinking of him protecting our country. This is not easy. Blessings, Kimberly

    Reply
  39. home before dark

    On the surface of things we are nothing alike: I am smart-mouthed, quick witted, a thousand projects at once. He is the lawyer-trained poet who is thoughtful in his speech, quiet in crowds, always sees the grays and not the blacks and whites. We have been together for almost 40 years. We have known great sorrow, sadness and loss. But we also know joy. Life without children is a gentle gift to remind us who we are and lets us return our focus to each other. Days are numbered. Joy is not.

    Reply
  40. Liz

    they actually don’t go,with come back with added extras. it changes but that doesn’t make it worse, it makes it different.

    Reply
  41. Liz

    Having said that , there is a good deal of crying each time one of them does go off to start Uni. [from me that is,] and awaking in the night remembering the years gone by. No way outa that!
    But actually, the quality time with them is more intense – skype is marvellous as is facebook. Sometimes I feel I talk to them more when they are away than when they are home for the vacs! [when there is a deal more washing. cooking, tidying with extra bodies in the house!]

    Reply
  42. liannallama

    (((HUGS))) to you! It must be a bittersweet feeling to think of them leaving to be on their own.

    Reply
  43. michelleb.

    I am thinking the same way and I still have an 11 y.o. My oldest will be leaving for college next fall and I’m already dreading how much I will miss her noises and presence. It has me looking to the future when the middle and youngest are gone. Excitred for them. Sad for me.

    Reply

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