Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

The Ripples of Love

 

My dear friend Ladelle, lost her husband a few days ago. He died in her arms after suffering cancer with tremendous courage and grace. Ladelle stayed by his side and cared for him these last several months. He was the love of her life. 

 

After Ladelle told me about the death of her husband my memories of my Father came to mind. His long-enduring effort to survive the impossible… The love he generously gave though he was in such pain… My mother day in and day out staying by his side watching, grieving in silence, and yet giving him every ounce of her courage. Ladelle endures this journey too. 

 

I imagine her pain. Her sadness of letting go, and at the same time the aching beauty of knowing it has to be no matter how hard it is… Death has a sting that transforms those who love and do not run away. 

 

Many of you supported me with your faithful friendship when my father was suffering. Many of you had lost someone or were losing someone at the same time. I read and re-read your comments like a healing balm, like prayer bread, like arms to hold me when I was so terribly broken. Your love brought healing.

 

In the wake of the suffering, we see happening in Haiti many of us wonder what we can do, how we can give, how can we really help at such a distance.

 

The image of Mother Teresa feeding a starving dying baby in India while reporters pestered her with comments such as: "You cannot save the dying, you are only one person, look at you only care for one baby in the sea of many dying people. What is that you are doing…" and as they threw their frustrating anger towards her, Mother Teresa focused on the baby in her arms saying, "Look how he takes the bottle, look how he looks in my eyes, look how he is eating…" She focused on hope and stood in the sea of suffering doing what she could: A small stone cast causes ripples. Those ripples spread forth regardless of what it will run into.

 

Casting our stone is a daily choice. 

 

Ladelle stood in the midst of her greatest sorrow and love. Her actions ripple forward… love always does.

Comments

53 responses to “The Ripples of Love”

  1. Gina Johnson

    Oh Corey, this was so beautifully written. We are only one but if we all do something we can accomplish so much. Thank you for sharing your heart once again and my heart aches for sweet Ladelle.

    Reply
  2. Betty M

    Please let your friend Ladelle know she is in my thoughts and my sympathies go out to her in this time of sorrow.

    Reply
  3. katherine robertson

    so sorry for the loss but thankful they had time to prepare… having recently lost a friend with no warning as well as my mother in law years ago to a massive heart attach, it is so much easier when you have time to say good bye and prepare for the known fate coming your way… even though there is a lot of suffering along the way. my thoughts with you and Ladelle and family….

    Reply
  4. marlis

    I pray for Ladelle. Our dear friends are facing the same trial right now. He has to be her support as there is nothing more medicine can do. And we have to be there to support him as he goes through this journey. 50+ years they have been together. How can you tell someone there is life after you lose your soulmate?

    Reply
  5. Lorrie

    My heart and prayers go out to Ladelle. Your post is beautifully written, expressing the anguish and pain of letting go and of acceptance.
    blessings on you today

    Reply
  6. Katiebell

    “Ladelle stood in the midst of her greatest sorrow and loved. Her actions ripple forward… love always does.” Beautiful.
    What beauty can be crystalised from the essence of life when we meet it, and see it, and feel it and all its intensity and beauty.
    When we are in life; birth and death and all the messy rest are such a part of it…. it is life at its most profound sometimes – enhancing the feeling of being alive, it is life in its fullest and richest, strongest colours.
    Every breath, every day, every bit of love…
    Love to Ladelle
    and you too

    Reply
  7. Karon

    Please wish Ladelle well for me, a terrible time for her.
    Karon x

    Reply
  8. Laura

    Keeping Ladelle in my thoughts and prayers…
    “Casting our stone is a daily choice”…
    We have many choices and opportunities each day….we can choose happiness, contentment and to make a difference in someone else’s life or in our world. Thank you for this beautiful post.

    Reply
  9. carolyn

    It’s so hard to write about death. The dying give so much to the living, and love becomes an exquisite companion.

    Reply
  10. Star

    My thoughts are with your friend as she grieves. Without hope, where would any of us be? Thanks for your post, Corey.

    Reply
  11. Laura

    Corey, you are so right. Thank you for reminding us to continue to care about others and the world around us. Just think, if *each* of us helped or saved only one person how many millions would be be out of harm’s way.
    Sincere sympathy for your dear friend Ladelle.

    Reply
  12. Julie Ann

    On we go in the aftermath but forever changed. Life is a different colour. God bless Ladelle and take care of her at this saddest of times. You will be a gift Corey, Jx

    Reply
  13. Marilyn

    Love and hope will save us from despair. My heart and love is sent to Ladelle today. How wonderful she was there with the love of her life and held him in her arms. She is suffering, but she also shared in a special love.
    We must hope for a better world today.

    Reply
  14. Vicki’s Bit-o-Earth

    My heart and prayers are with your friend Corey. Mother Teresa stands like a lighthouse in the gale of this life. I wish I had better ability to show such constancy under trial. Its probably the most difficult thing life could ever ask, to hold someone who is dying. Those who have been there carry it the rest of life. Its what we do with it that matters most. Thank you for this post~

    Reply
  15. Catherine

    Dear Corey,
    Your story today reminds me of a quote from Robert F. Kennedy:
    “Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”

    Reply
  16. Victoria Ramos

    Having lost my father when I was 12 (he was 43), and my mother when I was 22 (she 54) both to cancer……I still at times even at 51 feel like a motherless child, and when I hear of another who has had to stand tall in the face of an awful disease it always brings me back there. My heart and prayers are with Ladelle. There is a huge storm here in Sacramento – and it feels like the earth is crying for Haiti…..

    Reply
  17. Square-Peg Karen

    Your post is beautiful and to-the-heart. I gasped when I read this: “Death has a sting that transforms those who love and do not run away. ” SO true!!
    My thoughts echo commenter Julie Ann’s:”God bless Ladelle and take care of her at this saddest of times. You will be a gift Corey”

    Reply
  18. Celeste

    Amen

    Reply
  19. meredith

    I’m still so sad after losing my father. As I imagine you are too. A hole in the heart that we learn to live with, feeling the pain some days, laughing at happy memories on others…

    Reply
  20. Carol

    “Death has a sting that transforms those who love and do not run away.” So true, dear Corey!
    My thoughts and prayers are with your friend, Ladelle. May she feel God’s love in the midst of her devastating loss.

    Reply
  21. Jeanne

    God bless your friend Ladelle and her family and may God and his Angels tenderly care for all those we love in Heaven until we are all reunited once again.
    Love and prayers
    Jeanne♥

    Reply
  22. Tracy

    Very powerful piece Corey. I have something in my eyes.

    Reply
  23. helene

    Corey, Ladelle is supported by your love and words. That is a wonderful gift of deep friendship. Her beloved husband leaves a legacy of love that will serve Ladelle, her family and all that know him forever. Love is real and does not perish EVER.

    Reply
  24. Gina

    Beautiful beautiful words Corey. Having read your post I cant help but feel sadness for your friend despite never having met her. That is the wonder of your blog. Connecting peoples emotions all around the world in common good.

    Reply
  25. Leslie Garcia

    Dear Corey,
    I am so sorry for your friend’s loss…and yours too. I have a plaque that hangs in my house and it says..
    …WE CANNOT ALL DO GREAT THINGS, BUT WE CAN DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE”~ Mother Theresa
    My thoughts and prayers are with your friend Ladelle today, may she find the strength to go on.
    Love,
    Leslie

    Reply
  26. pauline

    You have such a beautiful heart, TICA. Thank you for sharing that – you are making your own Mother Teresa ripples…

    Reply
  27. Barbara Sydney Australia

    I lost my beloved sister Marin a few months ago. No illness or warning she just stepped from her shower, wrapped herself in her dressing gown, sat on her lounge and died. Later we were to find out it was a bleed to her brain. Her gift to us was her unquestioning faith in God and her love. She would say to me just love and everything will be ok. Oh, how I miss her.

    Reply
  28. lynne

    in the words of the geat bard, bob dylan, “death is not the end…”
    sending love

    Reply
  29. Karen Suranno

    Corey,
    That is the most moving story I have ever read. You are a woman of very deep emotions-happy, sad, crazy and wacked out, but always very deeeep. I am always moved by your words. Thank you.

    Reply
  30. Linda C.

    My thoughts and prayers are with your friend Ladelle.

    Reply
  31. Vicki

    Your words moved me once again…my heart goes out to your friend Ladelle. I will keep her in my heart and prayers.

    Reply
  32. Allison

    what beautiful words, Corey

    Reply
  33. Gillian

    When you speak of your father I always remember what you went through.
    And how those rude men on the plane were treating you poorly on the flight to California! What is the French word for bastards? Basterds! Inglourious ones at that.
    And George, your tanned, smiling and motorcycle riding dad.
    Your story moved us then. It moves me now. I feel like I know you.
    I’m so deeply sorry for your friend. I thought briefly, of losing my husband and I shuddered…I can’t even imagine it. xoxo

    Reply
  34. Kathy…

    Hello Corey…my first time here to your charming blog…My heart goes out to your sweet friend Ladelle…I will be lifting her up. She is now living my worst nightmare. My husband was just diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer…in the liver also…We are just coming to grips with it…Trusting God to be all He has promised. xoxo~Kathy @ Sweet Up-North Mornings…

    Reply
  35. Carolyn Mallin

    Please give Ladelle my sympathy. I lost my mother when I was 13 years old (she was only 44) and I’m 63 now and think of how my life would have been so different had she lived longer. I still miss her. My dad was only 70 when he passed.

    Reply
  36. MaryBeth

    Dearest Corey
    As always After a few minutes here my heart is renewed and filled with warmth and hope.
    Much Love
    from the gloriously raining Mojave Desert

    Reply
  37. Brenda L from TN

    Please give my sympathies to your friend Ladelle. A classmate of mine just lost her husband of 48 yrs this past Monday. He had ALS aka Lou Gherigs disease. Most of these patients symptoms begin in the limbs and end up in the chest but my friend’s husband’s started in the chest which is most unusual.So she had less time with him than she normally would have had. She put a book and pen on the porch for people to sign when they came to visit. If it wasn’t a “good” day she would put a sign out saying “Today is not a good day” and everyone would know he couldn’t see visitors. Death is hard,especially if the people involved have had wonderful happy marriages like my classmate and your friend Ladelle. So sad. And nothing anyone can say or do to ease the sorrow.

    Reply
  38. Patt

    Sitting by someone as they pass from this world reminds us of how fragile life really is. There is a miracle to death just as there is a miracle to birth, we are unable to recogonize it through our grief. We have to know there is something more beyond or we could not go on. I loved the story about the woman who was told as a child to keep or spoon after a meal. It was to mean there was something better to come. In her case desert. I now give a tiny spoon to friends and family who have lost someone, for their loved ones will be living in the desert of life.
    Perhaps Ladelle need a tiny spoon as a small reminder. My prayers are with her.

    Reply
  39. Patt

    It’s late and I am tired. That would be the dessert not desert. Sorry.

    Reply
  40. joanny

    Corey
    My prayers to your friend, sweet Ladelle in the loss of her dear one–
    On Mother Therese, let us all be more like her in that — this world and it’s problems can overwhelm us with all the suffering in its many forms, but if we each one of us do our small part to help alleviate the pain and suffering — then it will cease to be-…it is not a one man or one woman job — but takes a tribe..
    Blessings
    Joanny

    Reply
  41. Regina

    Hi Corey Amaro,
    Regina here, for ExpatWomen.com.
    I would like to personally invite you to list your blog on our Expat Women Blog Directory (www.expatwomen.com/expatblog/) so that other women can read about and learn from your expat experiences.
    Many thanks in advance for your contribution and keep up your great blog!
    Regina

    Reply
  42. Fiona Mc – Australia

    Beautiful words from every one!
    Just yesterday I passed the 5th anniversary of my fathers death – aways feels like yesterday.
    I remember sitting alone with him just after he passed. The family had gone outside. For what ever reason, I stopped my grief, closed my eyes and breathed in the moment. The room was electric and alive. I sat there for a long time and felt blessed to be experiencing something so special.
    I will always remember that feeling.
    Death is a miricle – just like birth.

    Reply
  43. Rhonda

    Please send your friend Ladelle my deepest sympathy and my thoughts are with her and her family.

    Reply
  44. jend’isère

    what powerful illustration of tenderness

    Reply
  45. Rhonda

    Beautifully written post, there are so many emotions that accompany losing a loved one. May their spirit live on and every loving memory stay fresh.

    Reply
  46. Alison Whittington

    Lots of love to you and Ladelle.

    Reply
  47. 1eyedmonkee

    the journey since losing my dad 18 months ago has been richer and sadder than i’d ever imagine possible. my mom mentioned to me on the phone the other day that she dreams of him alot – standing there, doing something silly, saying something…and she said, “it’s like he’s still here with me.” that was a sweet gift as she celebrated what would have been their 62nd anniversary having married him the day after she turned 21. maybe some of the sweetest times to come for Ladelle will be in her dreams.

    Reply
  48. Lizbeth

    A beautiful post! Thank you. God bless all who have lost a loved one recently, especially Ladelle and those in Haiti.

    Reply
  49. sabrina

    my husband has just been diagnosed with cancer and he will soon start treatment. i will be there with him every step of the way and pray for the best. if the best is not to be,i pray i have the courage that so many others have shown.

    Reply
  50. Rebecca from the Pacific Northwest

    Corey,
    Here I am once again, moved to write instead of simply reading appreciatively.
    I started following your blog for the beauty of the photos and your life in France, and I fell in love with you for the beauty of your authenticity and honesty while suffering through your father’s illness and death.
    “Death has a sting that transforms those who love and do not run away” is so true. You did not run away from it, and you modeled that for all your readers.
    May God’s healing balm accompany Ladelle’s sorrow as she walks through her own, very solo journey through grief. Thanks for sharing this, Corey.
    PS. My darling husband and I are going to Motovun and other parts of Croatia this summer! Although in a rental car, NOT a motorcycle! I’ll have to review your travel notes before I go.

    Reply
  51. splendid

    we are richer knowing you Corey, beautiful words and sentiment
    thank you for sharing your life with us all
    and as for Haiti and Mother Theresa i am reminded of the little boy on the beach surrounded by starfish, and the old man said to him: “You cannot make a difference.” and the boy picked up a starfish and threw it back into the sea and said: “I made a difference for that one!”
    Thank you too Leslie:
    ..WE CANNOT ALL DO GREAT THINGS, BUT WE CAN DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE”~ Mother Theresa

    Reply
  52. carol

    beautifully said….your words are like a balm.
    thank you, Corey

    Reply
  53. Leslie Anderson

    Corey, I was deeply moved by your post. Having endured the sadness of losing both of my parents, I cannot imagine losing a spouse. I was reminded of a quote I read recently by an artist named Brian Andreas.
    Butterflies:
    He told me that the night his mother died, there were storms & far away he saw purple lightning & someone left the window open & the room filled with a swirl of butterflies & she slipped out quietly without anyone noticing & I’m sure the grief was softer because of that.
    My heartfelt sympathy to your friend.

    Reply

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