Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

High School Musical is not a Happy Song when you are Seventeen

heart

May love lead you this Valentine's Day.

…..

When you are seventeen a dance is more about who than what. My son dressed and redressed and stood in front of the mirror for half a century. A dance is more about what you wear than what type of music you will hear. Every hair on his head was counted for, but that doesn't mean that it did what he wanted it to do. Curly hair is stubborn like that. He left with a song in his eye that caused his feet to skip out the door… I knew that this dance was about someone, yet when you are the mom of a teenage boy those secrets are not easily shared.

As I flipped pancakes this morning, I anxiously awaited news about the dance. I could tell by the sound of his feet on the stairs that it wasn't what he hoped for.

I watched him as he buttered his pancakes, and wondered how I could ask without added salt to the injury. But since my wanting to know over took my patience I asked him, "Are you sad because of a girl?" He shook his head yes without looking up, he said, "I waited too long. She danced with another boy all night long." 

Love songs at a dance can either make or break a heart.

"Oh no I am sorry," is all I could say. He ate his pancakes slowly… offering me tidbits of his evening. He noticed everything about her… even the song that played when she kissed.

Comments

49 responses to “High School Musical is not a Happy Song when you are Seventeen”

  1. jend’isère

    Such energy exploding from this heart! bisous to you & family

    Reply
  2. if jane

    hey corey!
    would you be my valentine? (remember just like in elementary school…) heheh
    xxn.

    Reply
  3. Jeanne

    Love you
    Happy Valentine’s Day
    I love all you share♥

    Reply
  4. linda marcov

    oh poor baby.. I too remember that pain so well…. oh the teen years….. but still I never missed a dance… tell him to keep on keeping on… pancakes always help however.

    Reply
  5. Sheala

    Awww! I’m so sorry for Sacha, that’s a tough one.
    Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU♥

    Reply
  6. Laura

    My heart breaks for him…and for my own son…at 25…still searching for his true love, his partner in life. Ah…the ups and downs of life! I was lucky to find my husband when I was still a baby!
    🙂 Laura

    Reply
  7. Deb IN

    The gifts of sweet and sensitive boys are not always appreciated by teenage girls. And a hesitation can cost a whole night at this age. Being told that his offerings will be sought after and rewarded soon enough, or that I was once that girl dancing the boy who asked, but wishing it was the shy one–are not facts that to make this morning any easier for him. But his mother’s support will. Happy Valentines Day to both of you.

    Reply
  8. Shirley M.

    Feelings for matters of the heart are so intense during the teen years. I can still remember and it has been many valentines ago.
    Happy valentine’s day.
    Shirley (near Atlanta, GA)

    Reply
  9. Ed in Willows

    I can still remember the pain of those years. It takes me back to Sycamore School. She was popular and her dance card was always full. We were friends but I wanted more. When I finally got the nerve to ask her out, she said she just wanted to be friends. I was crushed.

    Reply
  10. Rue

    My heart goes out to sweet Sacha. Having 3 boys of my own, I can understand both sides. We think boys are to be tough and no big deal, but their feeling get hurt, too. Like I always told mine ” Life is a learning time, not always good but not always bad either” just know I’m always here for you no matter what. Hugs and Kisses

    Reply
  11. Vicki

    How moms can read their children…so sorry for Sacha’s broken heart.

    Reply
  12. kim

    Ohhhhhhhh. One’s heart just breaks for them.

    Reply
  13. Christine

    oh the ache of a teenage heart – so glad you were there to listen.

    Reply
  14. Mary

    OUCH!

    Reply
  15. caren

    Oh, my heart is breaking for both of you!!! As a mom, your heart breaks every time your child’s breaks.

    Reply
  16. Karen

    I remember those painful days… funny how love is both beautiful and awe-inspiring and soul crushing in the same breath.

    Reply
  17. Kathy

    Oh, I have a huge lump in my throat now. The heart is the strongest muscle in the body and the most easily broken. – Kathy

    Reply
  18. Kathie B.

    Unconditional parental love + homemade pancakes = easing teen anguish a bit.
    The only true cure is years of additional living, I suppose.

    Reply
  19. Jenna

    Feeling things strongly, it is the hallmark of those who are passionate about life. I am sorry for his sadness.
    He is a thoughtful and handsome young man, the girl of his dreams cannot be far off.

    Reply
  20. Rhonda P

    Ohhhhh, poor guy. And to think they actually tell us girls, if you want your heart broken, give it to a boy. It can go both ways. Time heals all wounds.

    Reply
  21. Marilyn

    So sad, but a time to learn and create new memories. Sending him a hug.

    Reply
  22. christine

    “even the steps he took as he came down the stairs”
    Things unsaid that speak.

    Reply
  23. annie

    It’s hard to watch our babies go through the pains of growing and learning how to maneuver in the world–and we know the world of romance may be the trickiest of all…
    Bless his heart. It’s a good thing he has you for a mom.
    annie

    Reply
  24. Jeanette Mc.

    A perfect Valentine post. Bittersweet. My heart is breaking for him. Breaking.

    Reply
  25. Miss Robyn

    Corey, I understand completely. the end of last year, my eldest born, my only son had his heart ripped apart. his marriage broke up. to see him broken hearted, just about killed me. I prayed.
    and that photo! please, please what is it? I know the Sacred Heart but what is it from? It is absolutely beautiful xoxo

    Reply
  26. Susana Stevens

    If “they” told us up front the heartache we’d experience with children, nobody would ever have them. However, this was obviously not the girl for him, but a lesson learned for when “de” girl arrives on the scene, he will know not to wait so long. If everything was supposed to fall into place at the get-go, we’d all be married to the cutie we first kissed in third grade. That said, if I had a heavy heart, you’d be one I’d like to be around. Fortunate Sasha.

    Reply
  27. Susana Stevens

    Sorry – Sacha.

    Reply
  28. Jenny N

    Oh, Corey,….oh no, your sweet boy/man. Argh the teen years…that he comes through a better man for his sensitive nature. Love to you and yours.

    Reply
  29. rochambeau

    Your a cool mom Corey and your son cares for you.
    Happy Valentine’s Day to a woman that know what love means!
    xox
    Constance

    Reply
  30. Irina

    my son is 19. “I waited too long.” is what he said to me one time about the girl he liked. i pretended that is was not a big deal and you’ll find “the one” but my heart ached.

    Reply
  31. Lorraine

    Oh, the drama and angst of those high school dances! He is a lucky boy – er, I mean, young man, to have you as a mom. And, as a mother of children in their twenties,I know how your heart aches each time your child’s heart breaks.
    You, Corey, have a wonderful gift of story-telling. In a few short sentences, you evoke the essential facts and emotions of any event. I admire and applaud you and hope you will publish a book one day.

    Reply
  32. mickey (michel) johnson

    …poor guy…life is one tough lesson is it not…no matter what the age. my oldest will turn 16 on the 23rd so we have so much of this ahead of us in this department, but it is starting. my heart ached for your son as i read your words, but it perked up at your mother’s heart…i loved how you could read his sadness by hearing his footsteps as he came in for breakfast…only a mother’s heart can hear what the sound of those footsteps meant. xo, mickey

    Reply
  33. Tamra

    When we are young we believe that nothing can even compare with the immediate heartache we may be experiencing. Then we have children, and when their heart aches………

    Reply
  34. Trouvais

    Beautiful…poignant. My son has curls too. In preschool a friend wrote “my friend Brent has tunnels in his hair”. Wonderful knowing that they will have many happy, in love years ahead of them. Trish

    Reply
  35. wendy b.

    poor sascha. its not fair. lovely corey, knowing pancake therapy will help.
    it is bittersweet how long you will get to share these heart wrenching moments. i dread the change with my own 16 year old son.
    and so it goes. sniff sniff.

    Reply
  36. susanna

    Oh, your poor son. Young love…sigh… It’s great that he opens up to you about girls, Corey.

    Reply
  37. Christine Kalina

    Always a Mom no matter what..my oldest is almost 30 and I still feel the same as you when that disappointment over affairs of the heart come through the phone line..a tender story for Valentine’s Day. Thanks as always for sharing.

    Reply
  38. Lynn King

    Hug Sacha for me. Her loss.

    Reply
  39. Allison

    Aw, poor guy. Well, just maybe he will end up getting her afterall… or maybe another will come along and catch his eye. I sure hope so! He is a cutie, for sure.

    Reply
  40. shelley

    song played when she kissed? Kissed who?
    She kissed someone else right at the dance?
    trollop.

    Reply
  41. Shelley Noble

    Such a great mom you are! How sensitive and understanding!

    Reply
  42. Linda

    Cupid’s arrow has such a sting!
    Even I felt it while reading this post…

    Reply
  43. Shelley Amaro

    Sacha, Sacha, Sacha. Forget about it!

    Reply
  44. jend’isère

    I commented about the energy bursting from that heart drawing, unaware that you were to later add the story. Fueled by mama’s pancakes, that heart has now had a night of repose get back to a teen’s beat.

    Reply
  45. Elizabeth

    Oh how your story about your son’s disappointment at his missed opportunity the morning after his big dance, touched my heart.
    When I was in my first year in high school, I went to our school dance with a boy named Jimmy. He was older than I was and I was all caught up in the excitement of the evening and the attention that I was getting from the boys. Jimmy was a science student and rather shy. I remember dancing with several different boys that night and I felt like the queen of the ball.
    J didn’t ask me out again for three years. Our next date was nice but because he was shy I misinterpreted his attention and thought he wasn’t too interested.
    We would see each other occasionally and there was always l spark of interest but we just didn’t seem to connect.
    In college, I heard that J was dating one of my former classmates. Her name was P. P was the prettiest girl in the room and just as nice. I attended their wedding, and then headed off to Los Angeles seeking who knows what.
    Later, J and P came to my wedding. I married a rock n roll drummer. My marriage lasted three years; theirs lasted 30 and they had four handsome boys and a full life.
    I spent the next several years in Los Angeles, dodging the earthquakes, the floods and the riots and the fires and learning l lot of life’s lessons the hard way.
    I was at my wits end when I received a call saying that my father was not expected to live through the night. I was in Minnesota the next morning. By God’s grace, my Dad lived for three more months. I was with him every day and we were able to talk about all the things one wishes had been said years before. But what a blessing it was to have such a precious time together. As I spent this time with my dad during his final days in Minnesota, I kept looking around, watching the snow fall and then spring emerge and how nice everyone was and there was no traffic and no smog and of course it occurred to me, why don’t I move back home?! What has taken me so long?
    I told my dad I would be back in a week, that I had made the decision to move home for good and he was thrilled. He was always worried about me living in LA. At this point the doctors felt he was in a more stable condition so I said I’ll call every day at 4PM and I’ll be moved home in a week.
    The day before I was to fly back to Minnesota, someone stole my cell phone from my garage sale in LA. Typical. It was going to be good to get back to Lake Wobegone.
    My father passed away that day.
    I think he just needed to let go then and I made my peace with it. I completed my move to Minnesota knowing in m heart that it was the right thing for me to return and build a new life.
    A couple of years later, after building a business and a busy life, I heard some terrible news. In Saint Paul (we refer to it as Saint Small, Minnesota) news travels fast and when it’s bad news, people really do show up for one another, casseroles in hand.
    J’s wife P had had a terrible stroke and required brain surgery. I hadn’t seen them in 30 years but I prayed and we all prayed for their family and for P’s recovery. She lived for month and then an aneurism took her. It was dreadful. Too early and so terribly sad.
    A few months later, I was walking to an evening party for one of my clients and I slipped on some black ice and landed on my skull. It was the dead of winter. The police found me, rushed me to the trauma center where I spent the next month and a half in the beginning stages of recovery from a brain injury. When a mutual friend heard I was in intensive care, she told J about it because brain injury is not a common event and he had just been through it all with P. At some point J called to offer referrals and advice that so many had shared with he and P as they were going through it all.
    It was a long road. I couldn’t drive for half a year and couldn’t live on my own. Noise and light seemed too much to bear and I lost my sense of smell. I lived at my cousin’s house while I recovered. Slowly over time, as the buds appeared on the tress I started to heal. The ever-present threat of a brain surgery to stop the bleed in my head disappeared along with the bleed. I saw the spring arrive and couldn’t believe I was still alive.
    J called me to see how I was progressing. He was slowly stepping through the grief of losing P and I was slowly coming back to live. Over months, emails and then conversations we realized that we had fallen in love. That boy who I had ignored at the dance all those years ago had turned out to be the love of my life.
    The most amazing thing was he said to me “Would you like to see where I lived when I took you out in high school?” In fact J actually had met my dad on our date and my dad liked him. Hmmmm
    Anyhow, J drove me by his old house and I was dumbfounded. “Are you kidding?!” It was my parents first home, the home I was conceived in. His mother had purchased it a few years after my family had moved out.
    J and I were married three years ago. It was a joyous celebration. I have four wonderful stepsons. I now give Jimmy all the attention he could ever need or want. He does the same for me. I never dreamed that I could fall so deeply in love.
    And through all the years of living so much of life, we found each other back where we had started at that dance so long ago. You just never know what life has in store for you.

    Reply
  46. pauline

    Our hearts break when theirs do. Even when they are grown and gone away from home…

    Reply
  47. Katiebell

    O how heart breaking!
    the start of a journey to love I suppose and the thorns with the rose. Love to you and yours xxKatie

    Reply
  48. amber

    Oh NO!! 🙁 I read this to Kory just now. He said tell him “girls suck”. lol
    Actually, Kory just got Wyatt this book– “How to Talk to Girls”. It is for little boys like him, but it is sooo cute! Maybe we should see if it sells in France for teens? 🙂 He got it for him because a new little girl moved in down the street, and Wyatt said he “liked her”, but he thought he “messed up” because he told her her “butt was fat”. HAHAHAHA!!! I told him don’t EVER EVER say that to a girl EVER AGAIN.
    But then, the next day, she asked him to bend down and tell him a secret– and she kissed his cheek. 🙂 (he said his mom wouldn’t like it if she did that again, lol!)
    🙂

    Reply
  49. The Brocantess

    You tell the boy who lifted my spirits while I was missing my son that the dance girl has no idea what a mistake she made. Even though it won’t heal his bruised heart, tell him that his brocante aunties send many hugs and kisses his way!

    Reply

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