Annie, and The Fact of Life

Religious-painting

Annie and I drank tea. She asked me what was new since I saw her last.
I told her that Chelsea had come home for the weekend, that our roof was repaired, that Ladelle had arrived home safely, and that my Aunt Sara had passed away.

"How old was your Aunt Sara?" Annie asked.

For a brief second that took on a life of its own inside of me, my thoughts darted down different response avenues, and they went like this:

1) If I tell Annie my Aunt was in her eighties, will it make her feel old?

2) If I tell Annie my Aunt was younger than her, will it make her feel her days are numbered?

3) If I tell Annie they were more or less the same age… Oh God, why did I say my Aunt died?

4) How can I get around this without bringing focus to Annie's age?

As I stammered because of the issue's sensitivity, Annie took my hand with an all-knowing smile, "We are mortal. Each of us will have our turn. I am ready… that doesn't mean I want to die, but it is inevitable. You are at an age where you start to calculate; when you hit the 70s, you know that every day is a gift, and you take it as it comes. But when you hit 90… well, let's say you know what is behind the curtain, and it is what it is.

Your Aunt, I am sure, had a good life. 80 is very good. But living and being in good health at 90 is a miracle, nothing less."

(Photo taken inside of a church at Cotignac. This is a tiny detail of a vast oil painting hanging behind the altar.



Comments

51 responses to “Annie, and The Fact of Life”

  1. This lady has so much wisdom. Can I borrow her for a weekend????? Je parle français !
    Hugs,
    maria

  2. You are so blessed to have this wise, generous woman in your life. And, to take the time to listen to her and share her words with us.

  3. splendid

    thank you for sharing your life with us Corey and especially for sharing Annie.

  4. As always, I am so struck with the wisdom and grace that Annie approaches life. What a treasure of a friend you have there!
    elle

  5. Annie, herself, is a gift. What a dear, dear, treasure she is. – Kathy

  6. J’adore Anne! I think you should start brocante trips that include side trips to visit Anne (I’d sign up in a trice!) Tasha Tudor (American author and artist) lived into her 90’s in a house without electricity! When asked if she was afraid to die she told a reporter “No! I think it will be the next great adventure!” I have decided to believe that way myself.

  7. My mom is 94, 10 years ago she wanted to add a sun room to her house, but thought she wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy it. Worrying about how long we might live takes away from enjoying what we have now. Just think, my mom has had 10+ years she could have been basking in her sun room!! What a pity.

  8. Amazing Annie…how fortunate you are to have such a wise & wonderful friend!!!

  9. Annie, how I love hearing from Annie. Wisdom in spades. I too, think every day is a gift. I agree with Jackie, trips should include dear Annie!

  10. Death sits on all of our shoulders…Annie has made friends with it.

  11. Good God I love that woman! How lucky you both are to have each other! My sympathies for the loss of your Aunt, I hope she had a good life and lived each day with meaning as you do. Peace and blesings to all of you.

  12. Nancy Pleimann

    How wonderful to have such a friend as Annie. I hope to be just like her one day. Thanks for shareing. Nancy P.

  13. Blessings Annie!!!!

  14. I cannot wait to be that old and have that much wisdom. Although there are a few things in my past i would have done differently but i do wish to be younger than i currently am. 🙂

  15. jend’isère

    Appreciate Annie’s simple outlook of life. Along with choices is acceptance.

  16. Some years ago we were staying for a few days with one of Farmboy Husband’s distant relatives, who was 86 at the time. Each morning after washing the breakfast dishes we’d all sit down to read the daily newspaper, and the old man would start with the section including obituaries. The first morning he commented that all the death notices were for people younger than himself.
    Still not being sufficiently caffeinated, all I could think of by way of reply was to ask how that made him feel. “As though I’ve outlived my welcome,” he chortled.
    The next morning I got to the obituary section first, and noticed a listing for a woman who’d lived to 104 years old. I pointed this out to our host, adding that she’d theoretically been old enough to be his mother! That though seemed to cheer him up a bit.
    P.S. FH’s relative lived to be 92½, never lost his marbles, and his death was basically a matter of just fading away as his respiratory system declined.

  17. becky up a hill

    Hugs to you for being a kind loving friend. Annie rocks!

  18. I just love Annie and all her wisdom. You are so blessed to have her in your life. I hope you have many more years to soak up what she has to share.

  19. Annie is a great treasure and you are lucky to have her as a friend…we are lucky that you share her with us.
    My Mother had her 87th birthday on Saturday. She is recovering from knee replacement surgery…my Father is 5 months short of 96.
    I consider everyday with then a precious gift.

  20. The wisdom of age and the blessing of good health. Annie is incredible. Favorite Aunty just turned 94 years old. We talked for many minutes recently and her only real complaint was not being able to get out and garden. Well, that and how her son (age 65) doesn’t listen to her!

  21. she is a wise wise woman. thank you for sharing her wisdom with all of us!

  22. Great post. Great comments. Great Annie!!!

  23. Beautiful painting. right up my street!
    Beautiful Annie.

  24. We can learn much from our elders. Annie is a positive light in your life. Thank you for sharing her with us.

  25. Annie and my mom, Butterfly, are cut from the same cloth. Butterfly is 84 and in better shape than all of us put together – still taking piano lessons, painting lessons and gardening from sun-up until sundown – not to mention HIKING! My website, in fact, is named after her and half of my stories are about her because she is such a hoot! I once suggested she was sleep-deprived, since anytime she sits down for a moment she instantly falls asleep, a sure sign of sleep deprivation, and that perhaps she should go to bed earlier rather than stay up until 1am reading newspapers, books and watching news programs on TV. She just looked at me and said, “When I’m dead I’ll have plenty of time to sleep. Right now I’m busy.” Can’t argue with that!

  26. a good and wise friend your Annie. my mum will be 90 in just a few weeks time.
    All best
    Karon

  27. Julie Ann

    I often wonder what it feels like to be at that end of the spectrum. It is scary from where I stand and I wonder how one deals with that aspect of old age. I take a lot of comfort in Annie’s serenity. Thank you both for sharing that, Jx

  28. Your friend Annie is a wise woman indeed! And it’s a gift, that you and Annie are so good friends!
    Love
    Rabenfrau

  29. I just love Annie. I’m so glad I share her name. I want to inhale her wisdom and be just like HER.

  30. Ah, Annie. So glad to catchup with Annie. She just knew didn’t she. She just knew what to say. Thank you, always, for sharing Annie with us. I hope she knows that she is beloved.

  31. Lieselotte

    She is such a wise woman, and that wisdom she owns is one of the positive things of becoming very old !

  32. Annie is a VERY wise lady 🙂 Hug her and let her know we “younger” ladies delight in her wisdom.

  33. Oh, God. Annie is exemplary of the attitude I would hope to come to for myself at such a point. So many elders I know don’t want to have life be a mortal reality and aren’t at all at peace with their mortality.
    Annie is wise indeed.

  34. She’s a gem. and always right.

  35. Just the post I needed. We had a fright with my Mum’s health over the weekend – nothing major and she is ok but it did bring home just how mortal we all are. Annie is so right. Everyday is a gift and life is to be lived. Thank you Corey and Annie.

  36. I hope you are feeling ok ~ hope the migraine has gone xo ~ we women of a certain age do tend to have migraines as we go through menopause.
    sending love & healing to you xo

  37. How lovely of Annie to understand, so precious her words are. Thanks so much!

  38. Corey, Its wonderful for you to have someone as wise and interesting as Annie..what an inspiration for you..My mother just turned 90 but things are not going very well for her..she lives 2,500 miles away and I can’t be there for her..its all pretty heartbreaking..so enjoy your Annie..she’s a lucky lady to have someone like you in her life..

  39. “Reverse Living” by Norman Glass
    Life is tough.
    It takes up a lot of your time, all your weekends,
    And what do you get at the end of it?
    …Death, a great reward.
    I think the life cycle is all backwards.
    You should die first, get it out of the way.
    Then you should live twenty years in an old-age home.
    You get kicked out when you’re too young,
    you get a gold watch, you go to work.
    You work for forty years until you’re
    young enough to enjoy your retirement.
    You go to college, you party until you’re ready for high school,
    You become a little kid, you play, you have no responsibilities,
    You become a little boy or girl, you go back into the womb,
    You spend your last nine months floating.
    And you finish off as a gleam in someone’s eye.

  40. What comforting and wise words. You are lucky to have Annie as your friend.

  41. Annie is such a wise friend.
    Each day is a gift.

  42. Annie is priceless!

  43. Annie is a blessing.
    I work in an aged care facility and our oldest resident is 103, she is sharp as a tack, reads without glasses and very occasionally uses a walker. When I asked her the secret of her longevity and good health she said “dancing”, but to her peers she said lots of sex!!!Perhaps at 58 I am too young to know the truth.
    God love them all.

  44. Julie W.

    SCORE another one for Annie! She never ceases to amaze. Her wisdom and grace are precious.
    Take care of yourself sweet Corey. I’m so sorry a migraine has caught up with you. It’s a total knock-out. Praying you will rest and feel better soon.
    Julie W.

  45. Last year, at the age of 98 years, my dear Granny passed away, two days after I had last visited her. I had intended to call her up on that day, but it was not to be.
    When I had visited her, it had been a special day (not only in retrospective), sunny and full of colors. My Grannys eyes shone blue like the spring sky, the conversation fluttered here and there (she has always been of unimpaired mental faculties, which was a blessing in itself).
    She was still keen to learn new things and interested in so many, quite like Annie, I guess.
    My Granny used to recite Psalm 90:10, “The length of our days is seventy years, or eighty, if we have the strength…”, and yet, to her it was almost unbelievable that she was only two years short of 100 years.
    Maybe, hopefully, we get wiser year by year. And it’s important to stay in touch with life, to enjoy yourself, and life – like Annie does. To not get bitter, but be thankful for all the little things we take for granted while we are young.
    Time can bring forth jewels like Annie.
    (Wouldn’t we all like to know her in person?)
    Love
    Claudia

  46. Marie-Noëlle

    God bless your friend Annie !!!

  47. Savvy Annie, I whish I could meet her…..

  48. It is a blessing to have a wise friend.

  49. What wisdom! No wonder you cherish your dear friend, Annie.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *