Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Where I Popped a Cork

Wine-pitcher

Photo and Text by: Corey Amaro

So there I was pushing my cart at the grocery store when I bumped into an acquaintance.

She smiled, greeted me politely, asked about the children and then without pause or reflection, (certainly without reflection) added, "Corey, you have gained weight! You are looking rather plump."

I wanted to poke her eyes out, but instead, I smiled, nodded, and said, "Yes about five years ago, I gained weight. We haven't seen each other in a long time. How's your husband?"

Tossing her hair aside like a movie star or something (I think I was overly sensitive to detail at that moment, acting like I wasn't insulted, wishing the carrots were in my cart and not the chunks of cheese.) she continued on the same train of thought, "You better stop nibbling at the chocolate and bonbons!" then she laughed as if I thought that was funny.

My stinker mode kicked in… I wish I had taken the higher road, but damn there is a reason why it is less traveled! Instead of brushing her rude crumbs off, I retorted, "Oh I don't eat chocolates. I drink wine. A lot of it to be exact. Every night. Yann loves the effect it has on me. The little fat he finds flattering at night, you know."

She stood there chic, classy, and dumbfounded.

Then I said, "Ciao" and headed for the wine section though I felt as red as a beet.

Have you ever let someone get your goat?

Comments

108 responses to “Where I Popped a Cork”

  1. Tace

    You GO girl!!!! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Cindy

    Love it and how very well you handled it. Wish I could think that quickly.

    Reply
  3. Beverly

    Good reply Corey….sort of like “well, there is more of me for my husband to love.”
    That “aquaintance” was just downright rude.

    Reply
  4. pam

    You are a quick thinker, and came up with a good reply! I do not think so fast on my feet. I come up with a reply a day too late. Good thing I am new in my town and no one knows that I have gained 20 pounds since I have been on this darn medicine.
    I think you look great, and are just the right size. Just today while shopping in the cheese section in Costco (big, big, chunks of cheese) my daughter and I were asking each other (and marveling) how it is that French women never get fat. Really, what is the secret?

    Reply
  5. Julie M ~ The Little Red Shop

    Wow! Wow! I’m sorry, Corey. You make so many people happy…and we don’t get to bump into you at the grocery store. You know what? She probably envies you! People put other people down in an attempt to make themselves feel grander…and yes, I wish I was better about letting people get my goat! It’s something I’ve even had to work on tonight. I wonder if it’s harder to deal with when you are someone who likes to encourage other people.
    : )
    Julie M.

    Reply
  6. Penelope

    How can you get fat when you spend all your time running around the brocantes? Enjoy the weekend.

    Reply
  7. meredith

    Hahaha…and yes, I’m upset by those kind of remarks. The latest was someone telling me how tired I looked when I came over to teach their daughter English. I should have turned around and went right home instead of giving her that lesson, but no, I just made up lame excuses as to why I had dark circles under my eyes. I should have told I drank too much wine 🙂

    Reply
  8. Christine

    hahaha – the stinkeye works every time. You’re quick on your feet Corey!!!!!

    Reply
  9. dana

    BRAVO!
    *

    Reply
  10. Jeanne

    Oh Corey you are bright and beautiful and have an enchanted and enriched life beyond belief………………..
    My motto is God wants us to be Happy so He created wine.
    Cheers my darling
    I love you
    Kisses
    “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

    Reply
  11. Jackie

    People have gotten my goat so may times I no longer know where it is…have you seen my goat?:)
    jackie
    bliss farm antiques

    Reply
  12. Bev

    You handled it well.

    Reply
  13. Betty

    Good one!

    Reply
  14. The Pliers

    Bless your sweet heart! You done good, girl.
    I personally find it astonishing that any woman, never mind any man, would presume to make comments about anyone’s appearance (as if one didn’t have a mirror of one’s own and one’s own ability to make critical assessments, if necessary) beyond “If you can’t say something nice, talk about the weather.”
    I’m sorry that that rude and insensitive woman is so hypercritical of herself that she got some of it on you (because you know that that is what is at the root of her lack of circumspection).
    Enjoy the wine. Enjoy Yann. Enjoy life.
    The best revenge… as they say.
    Amitiés,

    Reply
  15. Eileen @ Passions to Pastry

    Good for you! It’s usually after the fact that I think of a great comeback.

    Reply
  16. Massilianana

    You know what ? I love the very chic way you report this back. So very funny and cool. Yeah , shame you had not carrots or even a bottle of wine in your cart !!!!

    Reply
  17. andrea

    I understand-everytime we go back to Europe,family and friends I haven’t seen for years, find it necessary to tell me that I’ve put on some weight,lol.Yes, with some heart medication, I put on a few pounds that I’m trying to work back off now.
    What’s up with that? It always gets my goat. I’d never think to point things out about them -tho’ in my mind I probably am 😉
    Enjoy your cheese and wine 🙂

    Reply
  18. Christine Wittmann

    I’m usually pretty quick witted when someone comes out with off color remarks like that, but I too get beet red and have trouble playing it cool. I can’t imagine ever pointing out to someone that they’ve gained weight….lost it, yes! But not gained it! Those who know me also know I can come out with some pretty good zingers when I want to if someone upsets me. I agree, she’s likely very jealous of you. You handled it well, better than I would!

    Reply
  19. kelly

    I LOVE the road you took with her…..you sometimes you have speak so they will stop and think about what they say to others.

    Reply
  20. Candace

    Now wouldn’t be sweet revenge if she read this blog?? Keep that thought.

    Reply
  21. Candace

    Now wouldn’t it be sweet revenge if she read this blog. Keep that thought.

    Reply
  22. Chris

    ahhh rudeness!!! You were so much quicker than I would have been. She’s probably used to people quietly agreeing with her pronouncements. You did good. Bless you beautiful gal~~~

    Reply
  23. Jen

    As a newly converted Jew 20 years ago I was very excited about it (and a bit sensitive, it turns out). While in the supermarket, an older Jewish woman was asking the checkout lady where they have the Yarzeit (memorial)candles in the store. The checker had no idea but I did. “Aisle 6″ I said helpfully. ‘WHY do YOU know?” the old woman asked. “Well, I shop here and I’m Jewish.” “YOU’RE JEWISH?” she asked, rudely. “YOU don’t LOOK Jewish!!”
    My response? “You don’t look stupid, but apparently you are.”

    Reply
  24. marlis

    Good for you.. I would have let it get under my skin, kept my mouth shut and then stewed for hours..

    Reply
  25. Nancy

    am loving your ‘stinker mode’! Way to go!

    Reply
  26. Alison Whittington

    Good for you, Corey.

    Reply
  27. Marian (GeeGee) Burge

    I loved it Corey! I have always had a weight problem and have always been amazed at how thoughtless people can be. I would never comment on anothers appearance unless it was positive. I wish I had your wit.

    Reply
  28. Vicki

    What NERVE she has….and you my dear did everything right!!! Good for you for NOT letting her get away with being so rude!!
    I love when you are a stinker!!!!

    Reply
  29. Shelley

    Ah, but you didn’t let her get your goat! You crushed her with a virtual stilletto and walked on! Years ago, my three year old daughter was tantruming all through the supermarket. When we reached the cashier, a very elegantly dressed woman in front of us was clearly annoyed by my Laura’s antics…so as irritating three year olds are want to do, she kept saying ‘hi’, ‘hi’, ‘hi’ to the angry lady. Inside I prayed the woman would just smile and say hello so Laura would stop. When she didn’t, Laura paused for about four beats then said to her….’I hate your dress.’ THE WORST!!!

    Reply
  30. Betsy

    You are quick! Good job!
    Just remember the comment was a reflection of her problem, not yours!

    Reply
  31. Lorelei Lane

    Perhaps Madam M needs to visit your acquaintance….

    Reply
  32. katherine robertson

    Touche!
    she is probably just jealous of your success and following on your blog…a secret follower who let something slip…

    Reply
  33. Kathie B.

    The most telling point, Corey, is that you characterize this person as an “acquaintance,” not a “friend.”
    I’d have replied to “you have gained weight! You are looking rather plump,” with, “Why, thank you for informing me, because I never would have known otherwise.”

    Reply
  34. Alena

    Just this morning somebody said something about my curves.
    I smiled and it felt so good.
    She doesnt know my secret weapon.
    I actually like myself.

    Reply
  35. Sanja

    That was the BEST comeback!!!
    One of my biggest concerns about moving to France is exactly that kind of mindset. I love my curves, but it seems like most of France ( and Europe ) does not – French boyfriend excluded.
    I wonder why people in France (and Europe) find it perfectly acceptable to discuss one’s weight/looks as if it were something of great national importance.

    Reply
  36. DanaSmith

    When things like that happen to me I wonder what I ever saw in the person in the first place to consider her a friend/acqaintance.

    Reply
  37. Laura

    Point & Match: Corey!
    Ha ha ha! Sometimes the other person needs you not to take “the high road”. I love it!

    Reply
  38. melia

    Thirty five years ago, I weighed a wopping 98 lbs on my wedding day. When people comment on my weight, I simply say with sincerely felt pleasure, that I AM TWICE the woman I used to be….which is absolutely true. 180 lbs and enjoying every “bubble” (what my grandchild calls my rolls of fat).

    Reply
  39. Marie-Noëlle

    We had just moved to this village and we did not know anybody here. So I decided to attend a village event that occurs yearly by the end of January : “Les voeux du Maire” (the Mayor’s New Year’s wishes). We were sent a personal invitation and I told my 2 kids we would go to the “Mayor’s wishes”.
    I was at la salle des fêtes, with both my two children (4 and 2 years old), as my husband was working all Saturday at that time. All the village was there. Adults standing in groups and talking. Children playing about. Nobody came to greet us but it was ok.
    Somebody put the music on. The groups of adults gathered aside and left the centre of the room to the children. I and my kids sat down and waited.
    A young woman came to us and said to my son: “Come and join the lot!
    – No, thank you, Madame.
    – Look, they’re all having fun. Come on!
    – No, thank you, Madame.”
    My son kept watching the lot of little angels that were little by little turning into wild devils.
    Suddenly, dozens of “galettes des rois” were brought by a few ladies.
    The same woman came to us and said to my son: “Come on now, I bet you ‘re dying for a piece of galette!
    – No, thank you, Madame.
    – But what kind of child are you ?”
    And she turned to me :
    – Your kids are STRANGE !” (and back to my son):
    “Forget what your mum said ! (had I said anything ???) You’re not here to keep sitting! Come with me!” and she held out her hand to take my son’s.
    He withdrew his hand and said (sounding tired of her by the tone of his voice):
    – No, thank you, Madame.”
    Again she turned to me and said rather ironically to me:
    “Why did you bring them here then?”
    and back to my son:
    “What are you here for?”
    I was about to tell her off politely when I heard my son’s very quiet voice:
    “I ‘m waiting for the Mayor’s speech !”
    Months later I came to know that this woman was the Mayor’s daughter !

    Reply
  40. Jeanette Mc. from Everton Terrace

    How did you think of something so clever at the drop of a hat – mine always come later. At my WEDDING, the day you want to look perfect, my new husband’s elderly aunt, whom I didn’t recall ever meeting, came up to me and before the congratulations, patted me on the shoulder and said “I prefer your hair down dear”. I was wearing it up……..

    Reply
  41. Ulla

    BRAVO! Perhaps she will think twice before saying something like that again – perhaps… Regardless, glad to hear that your heart is square on your sleeve and your tongue intact!
    Loving and missing you,
    Ulla

    Reply
  42. Paula S In New Mexico

    LOL

    Reply
  43. Katherine

    I think you took the perfect road on this one–not mean, but sassy enough to put her in her place! Perfect come back…like someone else said, I would not have been so quick with such a clever come back & then stewed about it all night!

    Reply
  44. Cara

    I wish I was a quick on my feet.
    An aquaintace looking at my wedding pictures commented that I looked really slim in my wedding dress, and followed that statement with “you really pulled that off”. I stood there speechless for way too long. I’m still kind of speechless about it.

    Reply
  45. georgie

    People often comment on how short-sometimes rudely. Duh, like I didn’t know? I then tell them I may be petite physically, but I have the brain of a giant.
    Didn’t these people learn from their parents, like we did, to think before they speak, lest they offend someone?

    Reply
  46. AmyKortuem

    GOOD FOR YOU!!! That is the best comeback ever, Corey.
    An acquaintance of mine always used to bring up a time when she saw me playing at a church’s Christmas brunch I was just learning the harp. My beginner’s fingers had gotten all tangled up in the strings during “Silent Night” and I’d had to stop the song and start over.
    I got really tired of hearing it, so when she brought it up again, I told her, “That was 20 years ago. Perhaps you should come to one of my concerts now to see how much better I am. My fans certainly seem to enjoy the music.” You know what? She DID come to a concert and it was the last time she ever brought it up!

    Reply
  47. Mo’a

    You handled that well 🙂 I arm myself with retorts to use when I am in Europe…esp. France.
    I was in a chocolate shop at the Niece airport a couple of years ago. They were having a special on small tins of chocolates and I bought several tins and a lot of other chocolates…I love Dark French Chocolates and they make lovely gifts.
    I was checking out and my husband said and “Was there a discount on the chocolate tins?” with that the clerk said…with her eyes rolling towards the ceiling “You Americans, all you think about is discount”
    I said to her “I know we are just crash Americans…but it seems to me that we have bought enough to keep you happy”
    Then she looked me up and down and said “It looks like madame likes a lot of chocolates”
    My Husband…bless his heart…replied “I encourage her to eat chocolates, because she is so beautiful” with that we left the store without seeing the effect this statement would have on her.

    Reply
  48. shannon in oregon

    shame on her!
    yea for you!
    i dislike rude people.

    Reply
  49. Penny

    You have hit a collective nerve here.
    My sister was great at greeting me, for years, with “what did you do to your hair?”. Well into my 50’s, I’d grown pretty tired of it. It was her daughter’s baby shower, I was sitting at a table with our family and her friends. She came up to the table, looked at me, and asked, once agin, “What did you do to your hair?” You could hear a pin drop. I calmly replied “Why? What is wrong with my hair?” to her “oh, ah, no, nothing” then I “Do I ever ask you what you did to your hair?”
    She has not done this again.
    It takes awhile for me to boil.
    I was on an elected board. One of my colleagues was particularly troublesome and would do most anything to try to subvert what I did. We were walking down a long hallway to our meeting. A man walked in, said hi to me and gave me a big hug. He was a bit of a rabble rouser but respected my opinions – because I listened to them. He walked on and Mrs. Subversion, who was walking with me, said “how can you hug him and let him walk away” to which I said with my arm through the crook of her elbow “I was always told to keep my friend close and my enemies closer”. I loved the snickers behind me. She hadn’t a clue.

    Reply
  50. Darlene

    A lady here at work gets my goat! We call her Elvira behind her back! She can make me boil over like no one else can.

    Reply
  51. caren

    Kudos to you!!!! There was a lady who came into our business every week and every time she would say, “My, you look tired”. Finally I got so sick of it I replied, “I’m sorry, but this is just the way I look, do you have a problem with that?” She never said it again. My Mom always told me that people who say mean things to you are insecure with themselves so they put other people down to make themselves feel better.

    Reply
  52. cynthia Wolff @Beatenheart

    Judging by all the comments, I would say “yes” this has happened to all of us at one time or another…I get it alot because I deceided not to have children( my choice)..many women make snide comments and are darnright hurtful…I say I was unable to have children (not true, i don’t think) this shuts them up…Why do people behave like this?!…insecure _itch!!

    Reply
  53. Brother Mathew

    Good for you. Sometimes the low road feels pretty good.

    Reply
  54. Tracy

    Love it Love it Love it. Great comeback she should be so lucky to be half the woman you are Corey. We have this older lady at the end of our street and she will give her opinion whether you ask for it or not. One day she came to my house to borrow something and “chat.” Minites after her arrival we were in my kitchen and she said “Tracy you have become friggin fat” (only said the real word!!) Truth is [I had] gained so much as this was when Madam M. was hanging around all hours of the night. I was so hurt I wanted to cry but stiffened up, I said “[her name]how insensitive you are, perhaps I am sick or taking medicine – do you always speak to people like that?” She asked “are you sick Tracy, because you have gained so much weight?” I told her I did not need her help to point that out and then politely asked her to leave my home. I literally walked her by her elbow to the door, opened it and patted her back out the door, shut it and turned the lock. After she left I had a good cry. She tried phoning me two times and left a message how sorry she was for what she said. I never picked the phone up. Geesh. When my husband came home, I told him the story (embarrassing) and he was so supportive for me, which gave me a reason for another good cry. Dreadful day. I wish I could have taken Madam. M. by the elbow and asked her to leave right along with my neighbor.

    Reply
  55. Tamra

    Well done Corey! Perfect reply and I love that you walked off before she could reply.
    Way to go!
    Love the other stories by everyone, hilarious!

    Reply
  56. Alicia

    Good girl!!

    Reply
  57. kelleyn

    I guess her mother didn’t teach her that if you can’t say anything nice don’t say it at all. I only thought the mean kids were riding my sons bus.

    Reply
  58. jody

    this is the reason i love you!!! i needed this laugh and humor today…
    that fake woman….
    thank God you are real!!!!!
    xoxoxo jody

    Reply
  59. Marilyn

    Love, love your response! Enjoying also reading others stories. I will keep this in mind if needed in the future. I tend to shrink and walk away. Your response was much healthier! Good for you.

    Reply
  60. Liz

    oh my…there are all kinds out there, milling amongst us. I’m kind to “innocents” and people who blurt things out without thinking, but have good intentions. I used to verbally slash all the rest, but now, I don’t feel like expending the energy, so just ignore them. Sometimes, though, it’s fun to kill them with kindness..they are so self absorbed, they never get it!

    Reply
  61. Papaya

    Brava! Well done Corey!
    As my husband says,”Nobody wants a bone but a dog.”

    Reply
  62. Kimberly

    Corey, Love it! I too have a little extra something special hanging on my bones and my husband LOVES it. Thank goodness, cuz I will never give up my brownies and milk. 🙂 Blessings, Kimberly P.S. I think your beautiful just the way you are!

    Reply
  63. ThroughtheMilkhouseDoor

    Everyday, a new chapter. Madame M, Yann, Annie, Madame Acquaintance. How wonderful. It’s a read I just can’t seem to put down.
    Laurie
    SF

    Reply
  64. Shelley Noble

    Well played, Madame! Where’s that chocolate?!?!!!?!

    Reply
  65. amylia

    Why, of all the things you could say to someone you’ve not seen in 5 years, would you say THAT? I just don’t understand people sometimes. Has common courtesy gone by the wayside or is it because I’m Midwestern girl and folk in Wisconsin just don’t feel the need to tell people they’re fat? Like, ooh, thank you for noticing! I hadn’t noticed that!

    Reply
  66. g

    WOW– did this ever strike a chord with me!! that kind of thing happens to me ALL the time…i mean it and i have never responded, i would just stand there– until 2 or so years ago and my responses are NEVER the high road. each time i still get “out done” as i never say anthing like that to anyone, friend or foe. i just do not get people. i read a book once that said you should just keep responding “excuse me” until the other person starts to feel or seem uncomfortable. i think you handled it beautifully. g

    Reply
  67. mindi

    I wish I could stand up for myself, especially around my inlaws. So, instead I let it all add up and of course blow at just the wrong moment. I guess taking the high road is pretty hard sometimes…

    Reply
  68. Sally

    I’ve had a couple of people say to me in the past few years “I wouldn’t have recognized you” … due to the poundage I’ve added to my personage in the past five years. Middle age, chronic pain and Madame M have not been kind to my once skinny minnie figure. WAH!
    Although not quite as blunt and in your face as your acquaintance, they meant exactly the same thing and their meaning was not lost to me. I presume they were so shocked that the words just fell out of their mouths.
    Whether they are catty little minxes or just stunned, why does anyone make comments on someone’s appearance?! No no no. Not polite. Not necessary. Unkind.
    I think I just responded in stunned silence, mouth gaping, longing for words to get the conversation off of me.
    Sending hugs to you from this graying and rounding soul!

    Reply
  69. Franca Bollo

    You should have just winked, slapped your ass and said, Baby’s got back” and walked away.
    Oh, course … Franca would have thought of this 15 minutes after the fact.

    Reply
  70. Genevieve

    Oh My Gosh! Wine is fattening? Who knew?
    🙂
    I adore your “rapier wit”!
    Growing up with six older sisters (meow), turned out to be excellent preparation for dealing with my mother-in-law, who always had a well-prepared barb ready for me at each visit.
    Just after my son was born, I was sportin’ more than a few extra pounds, and for Christmas she gave me a very expensive, lovely wrapped gift, insisting that I open it right away in front of everyone.
    Inside was a gorgeous outfit from a very chic store, accompanied by a hand-lettered perfumed card that read, “For when the slimming FINALLY occurs.” It was a size five.
    I turned to thank her, smiling, and said, “You can lose the weight, but you can’t lose malicious.” Smile. Complete silence.
    That was the last direct hit she ever tried on me.
    (The outfit was immediately returned and the funds went to a wonderful pasta-laden Italian meal out!)

    Reply
  71. Rachel

    My mother-in-law once commented during a lunch with some of her friends, as I was about to serve myself some cheese, that I needed to lose weight and she had thought about buying me a pair of those fat burning tennis shoes to help. I smiled and took a larger piece of comte and refilled my own wine glass.
    I love your come back and I can picture perfectly the expression on the women’s face.

    Reply
  72. maria

    Corey, what a coincidence – I am reading the book *French Toast* by Harriet Rochefort.She has a chapter on *La Femme Française* and in it she talks about how French *girlfriends* have no problem commenting on your appearance or outwardly telling you that they don`t like something about you, your home, your cooking etc. And the reason why they feel they can do it, is because they are your *friend* (????).
    maria

    Reply
  73. Lisa V

    This reminds me how my girlfriend prepped a comeback for our 20 year high school reunion: “Why yes, I have gained weight. Have you met Steven, my FIRST husband?”

    Reply
  74. Cathy

    Bravo Corey,
    I arrived in Paris today and whilst walking the streets, I noticed some of the French women are chubbier than I remember. In my mind I said bravo! I’m working on these rolls of love, but it was comforting to see that I’m not the fattest lady in France.
    People nowadays think they have the right to straighten people out. I say mind your business.
    My husband says no man likes bone rubbing against bone!
    I think you’re adorable!

    Reply
  75. Rhonda P.

    Superb comeback, I am always astonished when I think that quick, as well!! I know for a fact that there isn’t a woman ON THIS EARTH that needs to be told she has gained weight. I always look in someones eyes, deeply and then say, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL, regardless of their weight gain or loss. It is what is inside that matters to me. I wish everyone felt that way but unfortunately there are swarms of insensitive people in this world.
    Let’s raise our next glass of wine to you, Corey! You made all women proud in that grocery store. I’m glad to know you, even if it is just bloggin.

    Reply
  76. shar

    Well played, Corey. I wish it hadn’t happened but you handled yourself well.
    When someone said that same thing to me a few years ago, I said – Now, isn’t that a coincidence…I was thinking the same thing about you!

    Reply
  77. momof5

    I laughed out loud at this. Bravo for you. We have all been there…

    Reply
  78. Ann

    Corey, you are so much nicer than I would have been. I would have said: “maybe you’re losing your eye site?” Once at a high school reunion I started talking to an acquaintance. She and I barely knew each other then she blurted out “I don’t remember you” and I responded “well the mind is first to go you know.” I don’t have patience for this kind of stuff. Enjoy!

    Reply
  79. Carolyn

    Madame M. fortunately recognized your need for a clear head at a very critical moment. Good on you for staying calm and self-confident – true bravery. My mind always goes blank, my throat closes off, my face turns several deep shades of red, and I fully embrace the awkward, unending moment in silence! You are my “shero.”

    Reply
  80. Sharon

    Why Corey……she did not take your goat…she just flat insulted you and you answered her in a most honest way! You were honest!! What you said was tasteful and correct. You were on the highest road girl!!!

    Reply
  81. Karinka Calhoun

    The French have an expression: “L’Esprit de l’escalier” which refers to thinking of a snappy comeback to someone’s insult but too late…in the stairway afterward. That’s usually when I think of what I should have said back. Once a former co-worker upon seeing me several years later literally exclaimed “What have you done to yourself?!” His wife was mortified and tried to shush him but it was too late. It still wounds to this day.

    Reply
  82. Leslie Garcia

    Hello Corey,
    I enjoyed this post and all of the comments so very much! Thank you for saying it!
    Love,
    Leslie

    Reply
  83. Karen

    I find comments about people’s weight to be distasteful. It is the same to me as comments about how much money someone has, their age, the size of their house, etc. In general, I think that things that relate to a number should be avoided.
    I have people telling me that I don’t weigh enough. Now I know most people think that they wish that they had this problem. But it is upsetting and offensive. It is amazing to me how people (often who are overweight) feel comfortable telling me that I look too thin, terrible, that I am anorexic and that I need to eat! Imagine, if I said to them a comment about their weight issue.
    For the record, I am not anorexic. I am on the low end of the BMI index for normal weight. I do eat, but I also walk, hike and practice yoga.
    I’m so sorry that you experienced this person’s attack on your personal shape. I know first hand how it can hurt.

    Reply
  84. Linda G.

    I’ve been told that the best way to respond to someone who makes this type of rude remark is to say, “Why on earth would you say something like that?” It must be said with a wide-eyed look of complete incredulity. Then continue to look at her for an answer. Most people still have a little humanity left in them and will be embarrassed, even if they do not actually apologize. She must be terribly unhappy to need to strike out at others like this. Her loss.

    Reply
  85. Sue K.

    What a fabulous response! Brilliant. It’s the kind of thing I would have thought of two weeks later, but never at the moment I needed it. Mama always taught me “never make personal remarks.”

    Reply
  86. Jenny N

    Ah, yes, I love the high road too (and I have to say that you have posted before about awkward/presumptious comments that you have dealt with and have taught me much about tact and humor), but goodness gracious, your inappropriate friend wasn’t leaving well enough alone and I think had I been standing with you I would have thrown in an “Excuse you!”to her. And often lately, (with the awful changes to my skin with Lupus and my own 30 pound weight gain) when I have had the “you look so different”, or “I didn’t recognize you” comments I had wished I had the where with all to say “Are you trying to be mean or just tacky?” Thank you for sharing…and oh, Corey, by the way, you look fabulous.

    Reply
  87. Tamara

    Argh, yes! I can’t even remember the exact circumstances but it has happened, and more than once. Aah to be able to go back in time. You did get her, though! She’ll be thinking of that answer for quite some time…

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  88. Denise Solsrud

    i laughed out loud so that it scared the cats. bless you! you said the right thing,honey. i praise you. that’s one for our side. maybe just one, but loaded with points. Bestest,Denise 🙂 this made my day!

    Reply
  89. Julie W.

    Oh Corey,
    As Sheriff Andy Taylor would sometimes say to his Deputy, Barney Fife:
    “YOU BEAT EVERYTHING”!!!
    You had me laughing till my own rounding tummy jiggled like a bowl of jelly. I adore your quick wit.
    My theory is that Madame M. gifts us with extra “padding” as protection for the lovely, lacey osteoporotic bones she is fashioning.
    Blessings to you…and Yann!
    Julie W.

    Reply
  90. Elaine L.

    It always amazes me when people have the confidence to say tacky things.
    I was with a friend, when she ran into a friend she hadn’t seen in a few years. The friend commented on how she had gained weight. My friend not missing a beat, retorted, “I don’t smoke, so I like to have ice cream after great sex. I’ve been eating a lot of ice cream, since I last saw you.”
    The other woman’s mouth dropped open and she made a quick exit.
    It was a great moment.
    ~elaine~

    Reply
  91. Allison

    well, the obvious thing is her being so tacky and innappropriate!
    But dang, Corey, way to come up with that with so little time to process! Hilarious!!!!

    Reply
  92. Lihabiboun

    hi Corey
    I’ve been reading your blog for about two years and never felt the urge to comment as much as now: GREAT GREAT GREAT your reaction. These French cows, who have nothing in their heads but being thin thinner thinnest. As if this was the aim of life. I know what I am talking about – I have been living in France for several years
    and I do love this country – even if the inhabitants are sometines a bit difficult.
    Once more: a great reaction and don’t you let them get you!!
    All the best from Munich.

    Reply
  93. Julie Ann Evins

    Well done for thinking on your feet – your response was far more stylish than your aquaintance I promise you, Love Jx

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  94. Minodora

    :)))Bravo!

    Reply
  95. Pamela pamela

    We lived as a family by the THUMPER rule “if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say nothin at all”..so hurled insults always come at me with an element of surprise..Last Thanksgiving I was in LA and this woman came up to me and informed me I looked so much better that the last time she saw me as I had put on so much wieght, (which isnt true but who cares)( this was a year after the same woman informed me in front of 1o people including my children that she would have never recognized me..)
    .I was decanting food and setting up the buffet for Tgiving dinner..I turned around and grabbed this woman by the back of her neck and literally relocated her to the entrance hall..and informed her that was the last time she ever communicated to me like that…she wouldn’t give it up..involved all the other guests..it was surreal..it was because of my higher ground.. peace resumed and we all sat down to eat in harmony..Several women came up to me afterwards and commented on my dignity that they were sure they would not have handled the scene so elegantly..even a 21 year old commented…
    I was told years ago by my mentors wife that asking a rude person to repeat what they just said often worked..”excuse me, what did you just say??”…
    Another faamily member informed me after I married my husband
    35 years ago ..that she was so surprised how beautiful I had become because the family all thought it was a shame he had married someone so homely….I turned to her and said…”well thats what love does”………….silence…..
    Good for you….A woman’s beauty is gauged by her soul and it shows in her eyes….the smart guys ALWAYS get that one!!!….
    xxxxxxx+ooooooooo pamela singer

    Reply
  96. Judith Beatty

    Have been hearing the “short” comments my whole life. I just smile and say:
    “Why, actually I’m 6 ft. 2″…..just doubled over” – stops them in their tracks.
    Some people need a sensor inserted into their brains to stop/strain hurtful comments from spewing from their mouths.

    Reply
  97. Margaret Bouwmeester

    Coery, I can’t believe people are so rude, but they are. I was just thinking the last time I saw your photo how beautiful you are and I wish I could look so good, we are the age, I even thought that if I lived in France I would look as good as you!!!
    LOL, don’t let it get to you, your comeback was excellent!
    Hugs,
    Margaret B

    Reply
  98. Aina

    Fantastic respond Corey! You are brave!! Far braver than I am. I almost felt your warm cheeks 🙂 I did receive something similar during the time I lived in The Netherlands. They are too very direct and stright forward, without thinking. One time I was told that my hair was cut crooked, I just came home from the hairdresser, and was so pleased with myself. You can imagine what I thought. Another time we got visitors, the woman had not even stept over the door still before she bursted out, Gosh I think you have expanded! Oh no, the evening was ruined. Well, it has in one strange way forced me to be tougher. But I still think it was very very rude and also very unnecessary.
    Corey, I hope the wine tastes great! Santé!!
    Aina

    Reply
  99. Brenda L from TN

    Good for you…that was very rude on her part…she’s not very classy and certainly very ignorant…choclate is not fattening…what’s wrong with her?…LOL…

    Reply
  100. carol

    Grrrrr! You were much nicer to her than she deserved. Good for you! I loved your comment. Let her chew on that for awhile. You are beautiful, Corey and I wish I looked as great as you!

    Reply
  101. joanne nixon

    good comeback !! people must be pretty insecure with themselves to feel that the only way that they can feel “better” is to make someone else feel lesser by their rude comments…hooray for standing up to her !! love your blog….read it everyday….hugs to you!

    Reply
  102. peggy

    It never ceases to amaze me at some of the things that come out of people’s mouths. Manners have obviously died a slow and painful death. You did take the high road in your reply… Bravo for your restraint… I would have rapped her none to gently with a day-old baguette.

    Reply
  103. Kathy Julian

    Great response- she deserved it! You go girl!

    Reply
  104. Lorri Carter

    Corey…She’s a mean girl.Just as horrid as she was in high school.Mean people are mean and delight in being mean to the “nice”.

    Reply
  105. ellen cassilly

    Touche Corey!
    As Dianna Ross’ brothers used to tell her ” only dogs like bones”
    When I was in France I went to work one day with a large pimple on the end of my nose. I could not believe the number of people who came up to me and said “you have a really large pimple on the end of your nose”. My response was, “Oh REALLY?! Thank you for pointing that our to me I hadn’t noticed” in a sarcastic way. Then a pause with a follow up of “That was an unneccesary and mean thing to say to me. Do you realize that that make me feel bad and I question the sincerity of your friendship”

    Reply
  106. susanna

    Yeesh, that was rude of her. I wonder how she expected you to respond to her first comment? In any case, sometimes we have to push back the bullies so please don’t doubt yourself in how you handled that awkward moment and don’t let her words get to you. What I really like about you, Corey, is that you enjoy Life – cheese, chocolate, wine and all.

    Reply
  107. AnnieElf

    You absolutely must give classes in bon mot. I NEVER think of a brilliant riposte until it is far too late. Bravo, Corey.

    Reply
  108. Melissa L.

    Good for you! It’s always hard to come up with a response when something like that hits you out of the blue. You struck a blow for every one of us who has been tongue-tied in the same situation. BRAVA!

    Reply

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