In Memory of Mr. Porte

Mr-Porte-cherry-tree

MR-PORTE

Photos and text by Corey Amaro:

When my children were little, we had
a magical, organic, vegetable garden. We had tomatoes
until December,
green beans that made Jack-in-the-bean-stalk, look like
any
Tom-Dick-or-Harry-kind-of-ordinary-guy, and spinach
that made Popeye,
green with envy. Our garden was the talk of the neighborhood.

Our neighbor to the right, asked
the neighbor
to the left, "How does that American potato-head, produce such a
beautiful vegetable garden?"

The neighbor to the left said, "I heard she
doesn't use pesticides."

The neighbor across the street threw in, "I
heard she uses fresh cow pies?"

Mr. Porte, my elderly neighbor, my vegetable
gardener-mentor, swelled with pride at his student. I loved
that
our organic vegetable garden gave him an extra sparkle in his eye.

Mr. Porte gave me wise gardening tips: He told
me to put a piece of
copper wire in the base of my tomato plants, to prevent the tomatoes
from have a grayish-brown bottom, to water the garden only three times
a week, and to pick the snails off.

Bugs give
me the creeps.

______________________

After the last fig jam jar was
sealed I raised my gooey jam filled spoon and shouted out, "This is for
you Mr. Porte!"

You see Mr. Porte was my next door neighbor, the
incredible gardener, generous smile, nearly ninety year old man… 

One day, (years ago) late afternoon he came to my house,
like he had done so many times before. I greeted him with the familiar French greeting
of two kisses, opening the front door wide I asked him to come
on in. As if he didn't know me he took two steps back, looking over his shoulder
towards his home, "I cannot," he whispered.

"Of course you
can!" I teased, pulling at his shirt sleeve, "What do you have something
urgent to do?" He cast his eyes down, shook his head, then again
stepped back. I swallowed my smile, leaned forward worried, afraid to
ask, "What's wrong?"

IMG_6021

Mr. Porte blushed when he told
me that his wife was jealous of me.

"Me?! What! No? Why?" I
searched through the moments we had been together, was it because he
helped me in the garden?

He shook his head no, then shrugged, then
looked right at me with his sincere blue eyes, "She thinks we are
having an affair." As he said it in French, I did not grasp what
he meant, by the French word liaison or maybe because I didn't
believe my ears, I said "What?" He leaned his head towards me without
moving his feet, in barely a whisper translated, "My wife thinks we are
lovers, and forbids me to see you alone after this conversation."

"Me?
Us? Never again…" I glanced over to my neighbor's house, dumbfounded,
realizing this wasn't a joke, that his wife took his strong dirty hands
to mean something utterly different than working in the garden.

IMG_5258

We stood by the garden gate… and
smiled a smile that speaks volumes when only silence is needed. He said,
"I know it is silly, I am sorry if I have embarrassed you, I am
embarrassed," then he shook his head, and under his breath I heard him
say, "As if you would have an affair with me! Aurevoir Corey." He turned
to walk away.

He was hurt. Our *gardening friendship was over.

I
spoke up, he turned around, "Mr. Porte, if you were a little younger
and if I were a little older… perhaps…" But before I could finish my
sentence we started to giggle, and with that the energy changed. We
knew we cared for each other and would remain friends at a distance.

We remained friends for 16 years.

Scrapbook-detail

Mr. Porte waved his hand at me, as he
slowly walked across the street to his house.

I stopped
gardening.

_________________________________________

Mr. Porte died today.

* The cherry tree, that I picked cherries from this year is the cherry jam I burnt. Doubly sad am I.

The fig tree is loaded, I have made jam from those two trees for fifteen years. The last jar of fig jam I opened two days ago…. it tastes more like love than anything I know.



Comments

97 responses to “In Memory of Mr. Porte”

  1. Beautiful post. A true gem in our world. Aren’t you lucky to have known Mr. Porte?

  2. What a wonderful, touching story, and of course the pictures are perfect. Thanks,
    jackie
    bliss farm antiques

  3. Corey, what a wonderful love story! Goodbye Mr. Porte.

  4. Oh Corey I am so sorry.

  5. Moving and beautiful tribute to your wonderful friend .. yes lucky to have known Mr Porte !

  6. Beautiful. Magical. Loved this post of yours today. I have a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat. – Kathy

  7. I am so sorry about the loss of your friend and neighbor Mr. Porte!
    I remember well the stories you published about him.
    Big warm hugs,
    Merisi

  8. Very sweet memories. Like the jam.

  9. Sorry for the loss of your good friend.

  10. Julie Loeschke

    God rest his soul. He will have a beautiful garden in Heaven.:)

  11. What a beautiful tribute to Mr. Porte. I love your “love story”. I have never understood the extreme jealousy of some women. If the relationship is a good one, friendships with other women should not be a problem. And.. who wants to expend so much wasted energy on jealousy!…
    But this is not what your post was about, so I’ll leave it at that.
    I’m sorry you stopped gardening, it sounds as if you were a terrific success! I think Mr. Porte would love to know you were at it again.

  12. Katiebell

    Beautiful Corey, I am sorry to hear of your loss, and glad again to hear of your shared love and friendship. Long live dear friends in our hearts, love jam and gardening! Peace

  13. In his honor you must once again start gardening…it will be doubly beautiful next year , because his spirit will be there freely .

  14. My husband is thirty one years old than me. He was wife wasn’t so foolish.

  15. So sorry to hear of your loss of a friend. It hurts, no matter the age, no matter the circumstance. What a legacy you have in the figs now waiting to be put up in jars for the long months ahead and the changes in the air. If Sasha and Chelsea enjoy the fig jam, wouldn’t it be wonderful for them to take a jar with them on their journeys – a little bit of home and Mom and Mr. Porte?

  16. Rhonda P.

    God rest his soul. I remember you telling us his wife was suspicious but to take him end his friendship with you is so sad.
    I am so sorry for your loss, Corey.
    I wonder what other gardening advice he gave you? I am going to try the tomato copper advice.

  17. I’m so sorry to learn of the death of your marvelous friend. You and he were lucky to have met, and for the time he was able to help you with your garden.
    I feel that his wife’s insecurity hurt all six of you. Do you think she would be willing to accept your friendship now — or is she a lost cause?

  18. Thank you again, Corey, for this lovely story. I’m sorry for your loss.
    Paivi x
    P.S. Perhaps Mrs Porte was demented? Dementia may also change a person’s character.
    _______________________
    Hi Paivi,
    No neither of them were/are. I remained friends with them both, and would visit them together. Yann was very close to Mr. Porte as well.

  19. P.S. I second the others who are encouraging you to resume gardening, Corey, as a way to memorialize your M. Porte. It sounds as though you have a year-round growing season there, so you can plant different crops at different times, as appropriate — sort of like our native California, huh?
    _______________________________
    Hi Kathie,
    Our present home has a courtyard. Gardening in pots would work, but plants that survive with little attention is my new mode of gardening.

  20. splendid

    we are so lucky to have known you both!

  21. So sorry for your losing Mr Porte twice. You were blessed to have him your life even at a distance. Great memories.

  22. I’m so sorry for your loss, Corey. Mr. Porte sounds like a wonderful man.

  23. Stephanie M

    He will live in your heart and garden forever…

  24. Oh, Corey. I’m so sorry for your loss…What a beautiful soul to have graced your life.

  25. Lorelei Lane

    Such a bittersweet post today, Corey! To lose such a friend and neighbor is so sad. He’ll be watching over you and sending you messages. You are in my prayers (and Mr. Porte, too).

  26. I’m so sorry. This brings back my bittersweet memories of my old neighbor that died a few years ago…I still miss him.
    _____________________
    Hi Meredith,
    I remember when you wrote about your neighbor. I remember thinking of Mr. Porte at that moment too.

  27. Dear Corey, I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your dear friend. Next year maybe a garden in his honor.
    love to you,
    carol

  28. Lovely tribute to someone who was obviously a special soul in this world. So very sorry for your loss Corey.

  29. Such a sweet story– I am so sorry for your loss, Cory.

  30. christine

    May God rest his soul…what a marvelous story.

  31. Brenda L from TN

    What a lovely story…and so sad. I’m sorry for the loss of your good friend…twice; he sounded like a true gentelman.
    May Mr. Porte R.I.P. And may you always have a lifetime of sweet memories of him.

  32. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I remember that sweet story you told about him and his wife being jealous. What a dear man. And a lovely story.

  33. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, Corey.
    I always tease my husband that every woman wants him. That they are phoning the house for him at all hours of the day and night (he is a very busy general contractor who constantly receives calls from the public). That he is the hottest thing in western Canada.
    He doesn’t believe a word of it, but it makes him think *I* find him the hottest thing in Western Canada. Thus, my work here is done: He knows that at least *one* woman finds him desperately attractive. I love to see him puff up when I tease him like this.
    It is too bad Mr Porte’s wife had an unfounded jealousy that put a stop to a lovely friendship.

  34. I hope that you will plant a tomato plant in honor of him!

  35. We are both sorry for your loss Corey, you who are strong of heart and faithful, you who know how to appreciate the elderly and speak with a special fondness for them. I am sure you made M. porte’s life a richer one for having known him.

  36. pauline

    TICA, you tell the best love stories I’ve ever heard (or read). Thanks. Goodbye Mr. Porte.

  37. What a beautiful and touching story! I’m sorry you’ve lost your friend — but you were both so fortunate to have known each other.

  38. Dear Corey, I love that story, and the way you tell it. I am so sorry for the loss of your mentor and friend. You are a wonderful example to us all. Friendship comes in all shapes, sizes and is ageless, if you just open your heart to it, as you do Corey. Love, Penny

  39. Corey (and anyone else who might be interested), have you read about this?
    “Growing Vegetables Upside Down”:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/20/garden/20tomato.html?_r=1
    * * * * *
    Growing crops that dangle upside down from homemade or commercially available planters is growing more popular, and its adherents swear they’ll never come back down to earth…
    [One convert] made six planters out of five-gallon plastic buckets, some bought at the Home Depot and some salvaged from the trash of a local winemaker. He cut a two-inch hole in the bottom of each bucket and threaded a tomato seedling down through the opening, packing strips of newspaper around the root ball to keep it in place and to prevent dirt from falling out.
    He then filled the buckets with soil mixed with compost and hung them on sturdy steel hooks bolted to the railing of his backyard deck…
    Upside-down gardening, primarily of leggy crops like tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers…
    The advantages of upside-down gardening are many: it saves space; there is no need for stakes or cages; it foils pests and fungus; there are fewer, if any, weeds; there is efficient delivery of water and nutrients thanks to gravity; and it allows for greater air circulation and sunlight exposure…

  40. Hello sweet Corey, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about people who have their way with us, maybe not exactly bullies, but something akin. A friend close to my heart made the decision no to make the trip over to the States to stay because her sister and her friends had already made plans to come for English Immersion classes with me. The sister didn’t want her along; She wanted “her own time and experience.” And so this friend acquieced, as we often do. I loved this story of Mr. Porte, really. Another piece to compile for your someday book, non?
    XX – one on each cheek!

  41. Oh, Corey, I do remember you mentioning Mr. Porte in a previous post, and how his wife suspected the two of you were having an affair.
    Your tribute post to Mr. Porte is just as touching as your special friendship with him. And I’m certain he loved reading every word of it over your shoulder!
    Here’s to Heaven’s gardens!
    Donna

  42. What a lovely face he has, your Mr. Porte.
    It sounds as if he had a soul to match, and more. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

  43. What man wouldn’t fall in love with you?
    Maybe plant a tree in his honor?
    I think we all have someone in our life we can have deep affection for…but never act on it. It is human to love more then one…but damaging to act on it.
    I am sorry for your loss…and for Mrs. Porte.

  44. Gail Sullivan

    God bless Mr. Porte. I remember your story the first time and was moved by your gift for “chaning energy”. You are blessed. I am sorry for your loss.
    xoxo
    Gail

  45. You brought great joy into an old man’s heart, for that you are blessed. Rest in peace, Mr. Porte. How special to have those memories.

  46. Denise Solsrud

    such a touching story and experience. absolutely warm and beautiful with a sadness tone. Bestest,Denise

  47. juliette

    Speechless… tears.
    So sad to loose someone we like…

  48. Theresa

    Another heart warming story. Sorry to hear that Mr Porte passed away. Sounds like you had a good neighbor for many years. Have you ever talked to the wife? How silly of her.

  49. Marie-Noëlle

    May Mr Porte have crops of figs, cherries, and friendship in his new garden !!!
    Thank you for this post, Corey …

  50. Julie Ann Evins

    Oh poor Mr Porte, I remember the story of jealousy well, so poignant, a shame that your relationship could not continue. I hope you can be a comfort to Mdme Porte in her grief, I am sure her crazy and misdirected emotion is long gone. Imagine she could do with a friend and neighbour right now, just do not wear scarlet to Mr Porte’s memorial service ! Love love the garden gate, iron gates, my favourite. God Bless & happy memories, Jx

  51. How sad that his wife had such thoughts, but who knows, perhaps he did harbor thoughts of love that went beyond what he should have…maybe he had been unfaithful to his wife in the past…who knows these things? I’m sure he is tending his beautiful gardens in heaven now, and maybe you should get back to gardening too.

  52. Unlikely Madame Porte would “get it” how he touched readers of a blog. Such special relationships should be honoured/shared. Perhaps a vegetarian meal by a family who really do eat their greens could be gratifying. Or annual jams on his birthday. With time she will appreciate the family zho appreciated him.

  53. Celeste

    God just doing a little harvesting of His own. Sweet and ready was he.

  54. Such sweet memories…this time I won’t complain about you making me cry, the tears are sweet not salty.
    God Speed Mr. Porte.
    J.

  55. I was sorry to read about Mr. Porte today, I recalled the post you had written about him, Im glad you included it. I hope Mrs. Porte is doing well. Thankyou for sharing the gardening tips-snail picking is not fun at all…

  56. OH, Corey, I am so sorry. And thank you for sharing pictures and of course your story of Mr. Porte. He is quite a handsome man and I can see why his poor wife would have had her concerns and even though it was a touchy situation, how respectful and careful he was of his wife to do such a hard thing. You were definitely blessed in knowing and learning from him..I am so sorry.

  57. claudia

    Bless your heart Corey. I too remember the first telling of the garden ‘triste’ story. What and enrichment and gift to have had M.Porte in your life. I am going to put his garden tips (that you shared) to work in my garden… I hope you will have some time to visit his wife…and I bet there will be a bumper year of cherries and figs next year for you… love and light

  58. Sorry your neighbor passed away. I am sure he was a wonderful man. I will say a prayer for his family.

  59. I am sorry for your loss Corey.
    I met “my Mr. Porte” on a transatlantic fligt to Lisbon many years ago. This delightful late eighties gentleman held me captive with his charm, intelligence. I was astonished to learn that he let Portugal when he was five years old. His portuguese was meticulous. His knowledge of culture, history and his love for the mother land really moved me.
    He told me of the day he left Portugal holding his mother’s hand while stepping onto a row boat that was to take them to the ship awaiting on the horizon in the Tejo. Of being one of the first three portuguese families to settle in Hartford, CT, before the roads were paved. We spoke the entire flight.
    As we parted, like you Corey, I did tell him that if we were 30 years closer in age, I would marry him. I meant it.
    This was the beginning of a friendhip that would last until his death many years later.
    At my door, I would always find priority boxes filled with portuguese goodies not available where I live, that Mr. C. knew that I loved. Sweet and gentle friends.
    Mr. C. favorite saying: The person standing next to you is a friend you haven’t met yet. May our friends meet in heaven.

  60. Corey, I am SO very sorry for your loss. I’ll remember you both in my prayers. ((hugs)) What a special friend you both were to each other, and what a wonderful post to remember that friendship.

  61. I’m so sorry for your loss… Always remember that he is smiling down on you 🙂

  62. How sad to hear about Mr. Porte. Sending you big hugs.

  63. What a beautiful post. I am sorry that you have lost your friend, but I agree that gardening anew would be a fine tribute to Mr Porte. What a lovely remembrance. The story brought tears to my eyes.

  64. I am so sorry for your loss, Corey.
    What a sweet story about Mr. Porte and his/ yours delicious jams.
    I remember you writing about him before…

  65. My sympathies. He was such a lovely man and I’m so glad I had the opportunity to meet him. A “jam” toast to Monsieur Porter.

  66. Sweet memories. And you did have a liaison – just not what his wife feared. Treasure the memories. I made fig jam from your recipe last summer. It is wonderful and I suspect it would be even better from Mr. Porte’s tree.

  67. The previous Mr. Porte blog was one of my favorites. I could feel the emotion in your words. I know you will miss him.

  68. I’m so sorry,
    He sounds like a lovely man.

  69. So sorry to hear that Mr Porte died. What a lovely man he was.
    Years ago I was friends with a man down the street. I was in my mid thirties and he was in his 70s. He, too, confessed that his wife was jealous of me. I was very surprised. She wouldn’t even speak to me. Love and jealousy are strange.
    I’m glad that you were able to continue your friendship with Mr Porte, though.

  70. that has always been one of my favorite experiences of yours. much love.

  71. Your story is a beautiful treasure. Thanks for sharing it with your readers. I don’t thik I wil be able to cook any fig this year Corey. I hope you post some figs soon.

  72. you can sure tell from your comment #s when you have hit a universal cord… we all are so very connected to the same emotions, our responses, our humanness shows up as one basic truth, no matter who we are, or where, or how old, girl or boy… we are so the same… I thank you as we all do for sharing that truth.. Love Linda

  73. gloria p

    That’s a lovely story. Thank you.

  74. sad for u..sorry….. life’s cycle seems so hard at times.

  75. What a dear man. And how lovely that you got to share a moment in time together. Keep loving and keep gardening.

  76. I’m so sorry for you, Corey. I can tell how special he was by the kind and fond way you write about him.

  77. Corey, I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing such a lovely tribute to your friend.

  78. Clementina

    What a precious man and special experience. Madame La Porte must have been a closed soul who never opened herself up to many of life’s experiences…much less the joys of gardening.

  79. Sue from Seattle

    I love this story…very bittersweet.

  80. Lucy Rogers

    I felt that way about my Mr. Branham..may they both rest in eternal peace.

  81. Dear Corey,
    I love your story and your friend Mr. Porte. Isn’t life full of wonderful surprises and moments? I am so sorry your friend died today. I heard the other day…that our lives are like waves in the ocean…they form, they crash but they don’t go away…because they are all part of the ocean. We are never separted. You know, Mr. Portes blue eyes will live on forever in your garden, your healthy garden of beautiful friendships, your garden that all the neighbors will always talk about… that magical garden of friendships… and all that he taught you will never die.
    xx’s

  82. Green beans, tomatoes, figs, lettuce and a cherry tree. Such sweet sorrow. The bounty is an extension of his hand. Much love Corey.

  83. dancing kitchen

    Thank you for touching me with the sweetness of Mr. Porte’s spirit. This is one of my favorite stories of yours. My good thoughts are with you my dear.

  84. dear corey, you have a way with words — “tastes more like love than anything I know” — yours is a wisdom that schools my soul. blessings. ~Suz.

  85. Oh Corey. My sympathies. I teared up reading this post. I remember when you originally wrote it too.

  86. I’m sorry about you losing a friend, but it’s nice you have so many wonderful memories…..

  87. Linda C.

    “A kindred spirit”…he sounds like he was a lovely man. You are lucky to have known him.

  88. Oh Corey, I am sorry about the loss of your friend. I am glad, though, that you have a picture of him to cherish.

  89. toatally beautiful story..gulping the tears back…..blessed indeed are you….xx

  90. First Anne, now Mr.Porte. You really do have the most amazing characters in your life, Corey. And you have the best stories to tell of them, too. No doubt Mr.Porte would have been touched to know how you thought of him. His wife, however… ;p Really, it’s a joy to hear you talk about your friends.

  91. Corey,
    So glad I made time today to read your post. My house has been crazy with the grandkids here for the last month…love it though! Such wonderful memories of Mr. Porte and an honest to goodness friendship. Those are few and far between! It’s great that you and Mr. Porte had the secret of the “liason that wasn’t” for all these years. Brings a smile.
    Hugs,
    Gwen

  92. I’m very sorry to hear about Mr. Porte. I know you were very fond of him. May he rest in peace.

  93. I’m crying for you and for Monsieur Porte.

  94. I did not even know about Mr. Porte until now and I cannot stop weeping. My heart goes out to you. My heart goes out to Mrs. Porte, how her heart must feel like an empty vessel filled with memories of a love that will know no boundaries. That is what love tastes like.

  95. I avoided reading this post because I’ve come close enough to death, and don’t like dwelling on it. Thank you, I’m glad I finally read it.

  96. Oh Corey! What a great post!

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