Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Ciao Bella, Hello Pasta!

Ciao-bella

Chelsea is on her way to San Francisco. We drop her off at the airport in Nice.

Sacha will leave in a few days from now.

……..

¨¨¨¨¨

How do you handle strong emotions?

How do you cope with those: I am happy for you- but sad for me moments?

How do you deal with change?

What do you do after goodbye?

¨¨¨

…..

French-husbands-eats 

French Husband eats, and eats. Get a load of that bowl that once held enough pasta to feed everyone on the plane. He ate all of it by his lonesome. While I stared at him in disbelief.

Yes he even licked his fingers!

Comments

48 responses to “Ciao Bella, Hello Pasta!”

  1. Denise Solsrud

    i suffer about my kids,the way you do. but, i try to remember that it is about them and that they are happy and excited for the new adventure. that comforts me somewhat. yet, it is a pukey feeling. always keep busy and get out and go someplace as i know you do. clean out a room or a dresser. i will say a little prayer for you and hope it gives you some comfort. Bestest,Denise

    Reply
  2. Marilyn

    Best wishes to Chelsea as she travels and experiences new adventures in San Francisco. Living in SF many years ago changed me. The impact was profound.
    Hope your FH didn’t get a stomach ache. That was a very large bowl of pasta.

    Reply
  3. Leslie Garcia

    Sounds like such an exciting time dear Corey! You have done a good job! I know how hard it is to let them go…but they’ll be back!
    Sending you good thoughts and best wishes,
    Leslie

    Reply
  4. Lizbeth

    I think we all suffer when our children leave, even if they have only been visiting for a few days! I remember crying into their pillows the day after my daughters left. Then, I started to strip the bed and do the laundry…that’s what mothers do!

    Reply
  5. Helene

    It is one of the biggest milestones of being a parent: letting go. You two have it especially hard because you have two to fly the nest at the same moment. There will seem like a BIG empty space in the house for a while. Too much space and not enough noise. (All the things I had said I wanted for years: more space, less noise.)
    To fill in the void my husband and I did something that surprises me even today 15 years later. We took life drawing classes together! I had taken art classes most of my life but he had not. The idea of nude models caught his attention though. (I didn’t tell him that the models would not always be beautiful young things.) We both really enjoyed the new experience and even did out homework in the privacy of our own home now that we had some privacy. It was completely out of patterns but filled that moment of “what do we do now?”
    Have fun with your new life. You know your children will be having a wonderful time and come back to be the new, exciting young adults in your life and friends forever because you allowed and encouraged the best in them.

    Reply
  6. Star

    Handling emotions…first I cry (it serves well for both happy and sad occasions) and then I have also been known to eat.
    Ponytail, or has FH gotten his hair cut?
    Sending traveling mercies for Chelsea as she crosses the pond.

    Reply
  7. kim

    I usually talk to people when I’m going through something. I just talk about it. Oh… and eat too.

    Reply
  8. Di

    Living in a university town I have said goodbye to so many fabulous friends over the year as I stay here….sometimes it make me sad that I don’t think I am having an adventure but then again – I don’t think I am the adventuring type so it soon passes. The saddest part is only seeing friends once in a blue moon – but it’s always nice to know that they are there and that when you see them again nothing has changed, your lives still fit together perfectly….

    Reply
  9. Everton Terrace

    I know Corey – oh the bittersweet sorrow. My daughter moved to Seattle for school and it might as well be a world away, miss her so much. I only have the one child.
    What did I do? I opened an Etsy shop and started a blog. It has kept me so darn busy I have less time to brood. Guess you should get moving on your book. Chelsea looked stunning as she began her adventure!

    Reply
  10. Carolyn Mallin

    You know what was really hard for me? When my son got a promotion at work but had to move to another state.I’m so close to my granddaughter and she was 6 years old at the time. I cried for days. I started visiting them about once a month but then leaving was so hard for me and granddaughter. Then they found out they where having another baby. Well,that did it for me and hubby. We moved to where they are.The grandkiddo’s are here all the time and I’m loving it. Of course, that’s not always a practical thing to do but it was a good move for us.

    Reply
  11. Laura

    I cry – a lot. I eat, too…then I cry again. It feels so heavy, sitting on top of my heart. It kind of feels like I’m going to throw up. After some tears and time, it begins to lighten up and soften. Eventually it becomes manageable and sometimes it will just go away completely.
    Lots of love coming your way to ease your pain. Oh! Don’t feel guilty either! If you didn’t feel this way and you were shoving Chelsea out the door suitcase in her hand, what would that say?

    Reply
  12. Linda

    I am going through this very thing right now. In addition to this I had to move far from family and friends. I am the displaced spouse. It is exciting to start over but very difficult. I wish you well.

    Reply
  13. Karen

    Chelsea looks so beautiful at the start of her new adventure! I will be going through the same process in September when my ‘baby’ girl flies the nest. I don’t (yet) know the answer to those questions I’m afraid but I sure share your feelings, Corey!

    Reply
  14. Jeanne

    I am so much better at saying hello than any good bye in life……whether for 5 minutes or a lifetime.
    Big hugs my darling
    I lvoe you
    Jeanne

    Reply
  15. Shelley@thiswhiteshed.blogspot.com

    Take up running. I’m not kidding. Endorphins will carry you through!

    Reply
  16. Julie Ann Evins

    I so do not want to think about that bit yet ! That said I’m with Yann, eat ! x

    Reply
  17. karen

    I stay busy. But mostly I walk and walk and walk! I also practice yoga to help with all of those not so great feelings…it is really helpful to me. Wishing you much peace through this transition which will have gifts in it for you!

    Reply
  18. Jillayne

    When my children were born I told myself the best thing I could give them was to raise them so they would be happy and confident enough to go out and get the life they want, with no fear or guilt. I knew that if wanted the right to live my life as I chose, I had to give that to them as well. It isn’t easy, but to know they have it in them to be bold (it makes them do crazy things – like motorcycle flips!) means they are also resilient, and that will stand them well when they are on their own. A happy, confident, bold, and resllient child makes for a courageous one and I remind myself of that being a good thing whenever I feel sad. Keeping my sorrow from affecting their choices is the greatest gift I can give them. Good luck Corey; I hope you feel happy again soon.

    Reply
  19. Merisi

    A bowl of pasta is good only on the first day.
    (I just deleted anything else I had written.)

    Reply
  20. Celeste

    Corey, my son just landed in SF. Another hour and a half and he’ll be home. It’s been a year and he is delighted to be coming home.
    How sweet for you to be able to come home and have both of yours be waiting for you when you arrive. Concentrate on the positive. You’ve raised to wonderful young people and they are a testament to you.

    Reply
  21. mopsy

    In 1966 my honey and I moved from a small town in NC. We were leaving his family farm that had been a Land Grant from the King. Old Old Old and he was the only child…We got a job and moved to a small town in ARGENTINA…there for 7 years and on to Mexico for 5…The parents were crazy mad.. how dare us ! But no one died…we all lived through it..there were tears but we all lived through it…Kids leave, husband gets frisky, you dye your hair Ops you already did that and you start living the 3rd part of your life…you earned it ENJOY trust me…I made it through… untill they come back home to live ! write me when this happens and it will I have some tips on that also… thinking of you Mopsy

    Reply
  22. Kathleen in Oregon

    Never would have figured Yann eats when stressed. Although I’m guessing he rarely feels this way? I, however, frequently feel this way…

    Reply
  23. Jeni

    Corey, my heart is following along on your journey. I too, will have to say goodbyes soon, with a lump in my throat, and a big watery smile as my too son’s leave for their colleges. My oldest will be going for his masters at Cambridge, uk. I know it isn’t forever, but tell that to my heart. How to be happy and sad at the same time?? When I say goodbye I stuff the sad in my back pocket, then take it out when I’m alone, have a cry, clean, clean, clean the eat something sinful. The change part?…yet to be determined.
    Chelsea looks so beautiful! I wish her safe travels and many memorable adventures!! Corey, I’m looking forward to hearing more about your book. I’ll be thinking of you.

    Reply
  24. Cheryl ~ Casual Cottage Chic

    First question: where will daughter be living in SF? With a family or in a dorm/apartment?
    We know where son is landing…with grandma in Willows 🙂 So you are probably feeling less stressed about that journey.
    When I get stressed out, I eat Ben & Jerry ice cream…by the pint! No sharing…all mine…LOL! And I have the butt to prove it 😉

    Reply
  25. Kimberly

    Corey, I too have had to let my oldest son go this past year. He first left for college which was only a few hours away. I was fine with this, knowing he was only a short car ride away. After 6 weeks of college he came home and said this was not what he wanted in life. He joined the Navy. This I was NOT prepared for. I cried and cried knowing that he was really leaving the nest. I have seen him only once since December of last year. He is stationed on the other side of the country and know I look forward to seeing him only 1 time a year. I long for the day I can hold him and kiss his neck like I used to. I keep reminding myself that this is what I raised him to do, spread his wings and LIVE! He is living and I am thankful. Blessings, Kimberly

    Reply
  26. Lorrie

    First, you grieve. Admit the loss, the end of an era that you loved so much. Cry when you need to. Read a novel to escape. Go brocanting, take time to be still.
    Change always means a loss of one thing and a gain of something else. Try to find out what the gain is, and then, when you are ready, embrace it.

    Reply
  27. Sharon, Morrison Mercantile

    Cry, every time that feeling like you are going to throw up, comes over you. It helps to cry. Eat whatever you want…if you can eat. Call your kids as often as you want, or maybe email them several times a day.
    Sleep.
    Just work your way through it the best you can, and talk to God a lot. He started this, “have kids stuff …so he can fix it and he will. I promise.

    Reply
  28. Loretta

    I have been cycling through emotions since the beginning of May. With two children through college, you’d think I’d be used to it. But no, sending the youngest off is absolutely the hardest. My Baby! I was in a great funk for most of July, but then somehow I shook it off with a lot of alone time with the husband, porch time at night, painting, friends. I am gradually coming to grips with it. Now The Baby is starting to freak out. She got her roommate assignment and she realizes that this is her last full week at home. Sigh. Someday we will all be together again. Right??

    Reply
  29. Rebecca

    well, I’m with Jann….I eat. Now I am off to make some pasta, that’s how upset I am with the whole situation….

    Reply
  30. DebM

    My (only child) son leaves for college in a few weeks. During the day I am happy and proud–at night I substitute ice cream and cereal for sleep.

    Reply
  31. Andrea

    Ah, Corey, once again our lives seem to be in sync…my baby girl is moving across the country in 3 weeks.I’m SO excited for her, but for myself…I will miss her terribly! It’s comforting to read your blog and all the comments…lots of great ideas on how to handle the challenge of change! Thank you!!! Wishing you peace, a little pasta and lots of brocante 😉

    Reply
  32. Jo

    What a lovely picture of Chelsea! Best wishes to her as she begins her studies in SF.
    You and FH are very loving parents – otherwise you wouldn’t be feeling these emotions. Take comfort that you have raised a couple of really great kids!

    Reply
  33. patty g

    I can’t imagine the feeling, and have a ways to go with my young son at home.
    I remember how hard it was to leave my Mom.
    It is a time for all in the family to spread their wings.
    Happy safe adventures for all-

    Reply
  34. carol

    Chelsea is so beautiful. A good mixture of you and FH. I feel your pain. You have such a wonderful relationship with both of your children, they will always visit and call you. Take heart in that.
    carol

    Reply
  35. Kathie B.

    Corey, will you be visiting California during the coming 12 months while Chelsea and Sacha are both there? Just the anticipation and planning of such a trip might help sustain you till you see them nextm don’t you think?

    Reply
  36. Kathie B.

    Ending should read, “…till you see them next, don’t you think?”
    It’s tough trying to type accurately so late at night, although that hardly explains my daytime typos 😉

    Reply
  37. joanne nixon

    she looka poised and confident, ready to try a new place…learn a new culture or two or three…..best of luck to her….she will fly with gossamer wings…you’ll get her back…but she will be a new chelsea…keep showering the love…..all around her…you will be pleasantly surprised on how much she sill have grown….enjoy.

    Reply
  38. Lieselotte

    Poor parents, I´m feeling with you. But I think it is very positive that Chelsea left with the emotion of her parents´love and best wishes. With Sacha going away very soon, where will it take you when you get cabin fever ? Eating can be a consolation …

    Reply
  39. Catalina

    I was SO happy when I left from Venezuela to Spain when 19. I did my first 2 university years there and then came back and finish. It was a great experience.
    I knew my parents were sad but happy. I’m happy they gave me this opportunity!
    And it was great to be back for holidays.
    (I guess French husband strategy will be the mine as well…)
    xoxo

    Reply
  40. jend’isère

    No matter how strong you made their wings, your gorgeous nest will always be home to them. Such security has built their confidence and your pride. Your excellent work is still in progress, while you can soar as well.

    Reply
  41. Miriam

    I cry, I cook (so others can eat), I walk in the garden, I walk by the water, I hand sew, but most of all I keep busy.
    My DD moved only 30 miles away, but to my heart it might have been the other side of the world.
    Let them fly, they both will return home safe and sound.
    Skype and the internet are wonderful things!

    Reply
  42. Paulita

    I’ll let you know in a few weeks when my daughter leaves for college. So proud of her accomplishments, so sad to see her go. I can’t imagine the house without her and all those boys instead. Even the cats are male.

    Reply
  43. pauline

    well… if you’re FH you eat! Saying goodbye to one’s children is difficult. You want them to be independent and happy at the same time that you want them to be near you always! So, cry a little, cuddle with FH and go get busy helping someone. Repeat these steps as often as necessary.

    Reply
  44. Jenna

    Best wishes to your not so little ones as they spread they take flight. Chelsea looks so much like her father. Eating is not such a bad way to deal with stress, especially if it never seems to stick to you.

    Reply
  45. GiGi

    Pray, love long distance, and (ahem) distract FH a lot more than usual! A month from now, it will all seem quite natural.

    Reply
  46. Dana Sparkle

    today is strange of me. my daughter just started school and my husband has taken both children there. i am sitting in my empty nest reading your blog. they will be back at the end of the day, for now they are gone. it has begun… weird.
    *

    Reply
  47. Fran

    The first time they leave is the worst. Each time after that is hard, but easier to bear if you know they are happy. If, as the saying goes, the most important gifts we give our children are roots and wings…the roots are easy, the wings are so hard. My parents gave me great roots, but no wings. I’ve enjoyed my life, but wished, looking back, that I had not been afraid to leave. I’ve worked so hard to make sure my son had the wings, and I’m proud to say he does – but the cost of those wings was lots of tears from me. I’ll pray for you.

    Reply
  48. annie

    Both gone now, or nearly so, but both held close in your heart.

    Reply

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