Stories Collected While Living in France
He grabbed my hand and said let's go.
I barely had time to ask where.
……
I plan to write about the difference in culture between France and the USA. The difference that is that Chelsea and Sacha are experiencing.
In the meantime what difference between the two culture do you perceive, or believe to be true?
Any questions you want me to ask them?
I love these posts
I love you
Kisses
Jeanne
When are you going ?
Yes! Do they feel 100% French, or 50% American (or some other iteration of the two?) I would love to know how they perceive the differences between the US and France. What are their views? Also, Miss C, do YOU feel 100% American still or part French, or all French? What do you think is the biggest difference between the US and French culture?
my son just came back from living in japan for 3 year and he is in culture shock…mainly how cheap everything is..he loves that he can get a coffe for a 1.00 and how american dress differ from how japan does..and how big are roads are and how much space we have in the USA he lived in Toyko so it was very jammed packed…we got a pizza the first night home that cost $20.00 or so and he said in Japan from the size of it it would have been around 80-100 for pizza! he would have to get 4 friends to all chip in 20 for a pizza…I think the book will be very fun to read.
I wonder if they feel that Americans work too much and what is their take on the optimal work/life balance?
Hugs,
Marianna
NYC
Oh, one more –
do they feel that manners and politeness is more valued in French culture?
I have a romance with France in my heart. I hear the usual negative (mostly political) comments made about France but nothing will ever change how I feel. Until I visit France, I really cannot say.
How does one explain a love for a country they have never been to? Well, in this life.
My French friend, Jacqueline, here in the USA, truly exposed me to as much of their culture as she could. Pastis, linen, stories, colors, language, food and most of all her warm and humorous friendship.
I am sure your children are a lot more mature than American children their age (and more educated!). I think one of the biggest differences between France and the US is the food! Not just the actual food, but that the French are so much more “scheduled” with their meals and do not snack. In the US, food is not as appreciated and you can go to a restaurant at any hour of the day and it will be packed with people.
Oh, I hope FR Husband whisked you off to a romantic location! How fortunate you both are to be able to just dash out the door and go off somewhere for more than a day. With a dog and three cats, that’s a luxury in life that is just not possible at our home; requires planning. I love that your hubby is so spontaneous!
I look forward to hearing how the young ones are adjusting.
My [maybe inaccurate!] perception:
The French:
stylish and chic
Americans:
a)dress code → the whole spectrum – just what you feel comfortable in
b) many of them a little bit overweight (except blogreaders!!)
I’d like to know what the biggest cultural surprise was for them and what they feel is the best and worst of both cultures.
As Americans, it’s difficult for us to realize our culture unless we’re thrown into a different one. This is because we pretty much isolated by our size and location. There are regional cultural differences but nothing on the scale of national differences.
I like how they linger through a meal and afterward. It isn’t just about getting the food down, it’s an experience. I like how we seem more accepting of other cultures.
One of the main differences I have experienced is the stark contrast in quantity versus quality.
People in America and Canada, and I have lived in both countries, want LOTS and LOTS and then MORE – whether that is clothing, or cars and toys and FOOD.
In Europe, I have experienced that life is more about quality. The fine things in life, and I don’t mean because they cost more, but because of how they make you feel. Less cheap clothing, but fewer pieces that are simply better made. Much less in the way of convenience foods but a realization that a lovely meal can be made of a simple baguette, chunk of cheese and wine.
There is also, it seems to me, an understanding in European countries that you can’t buy a good experience…that there is a rich history everywhere you look, underfoot and above your head and everywhere in between. For some reason in North America we tend to want to tear down any building that is old and rebuild something crappy in its place.
Don’t get me wrong, I love where I live, but I am captivated by Europe. I also believe there is a new movement underfoot here in North America — a return to family, to hearth and home and all that means. As I call it, it’s traditional values in a modern mindset. It’s one I am proud to be a part of, share stories of and grow. And that’s what I am doing with my new e-magazine!
I can’t wait to hear about what Chelsea and Sasha are experiencing and their take on these differences.
As they say, vive le difference!!
Love,
Tamara
I love your blog and I love that you challenge my perception of what French is. Most americans think of french people as well…rude. You make me think otherwise. I’m southern though…we talk to everyone and say “Yes, Ma’am” and such. So courtesy is like breathing.
Have fun!
I think one of the big difference’s I notice is the celebration of food and meal time. It is a celebration. It is an event. No matter how little you eat. It is important to be present. There are many more but that one is my favorite. The quality not the quantity. I could sit at a French Cafe for hours. Now I will be dreaming of what to prepare for dinner all day.
Hello! I didn’t want to post any of my own observations (as a resident here in France in a bi-cultural relationship). But I will say two things, partly in response to Ida from South Africa and Darlene:
1. The french were voted the “worst and rudist tourists in all of Europe” by way of a European poll. So as you can see, it is not just Americans who think of the French as “rude” (whether or not one believes it to be true).
2. The French being “chic” is a stereotype that is rooted in the fact that in the early 1900s, France was looked to for fashion design where American companies would attend fashion shows, then return to the States to duplicate the design concepts for American clientele. In actuality, this stereotype is pretty outdated and worsened by the idea of the “age of decadence” in French history, Marie Antoinette, etc. Most people are disappointed upon arrival to see that the French dress just like everyone else: the way in which they feel comfortable.
The big difference, from a fashion standpoint, is that the French wear far less sneakers/tennis shoes than Americans. This is especially evident amongst the 30+ y/o men.
And the women here, of all origins, have an inexplicable way with neck scarves. It’s uncanny.
Having lived in England and listened to how the Brits always criticized Americans as well as the French, I myself think there must be some differences but I wouldn’t know what they are. The English thought the French lazy, and Americans too extravagant. I think Americans get a bum rap myself, we are after all the ones who always seem to be bailing out the rest of the world and yet we are looked down upon by so many other nations. I spent only a few hours in Cherbourg enroute to NY by ship years ago, and my only recollection was the enormously expensive food and somewhat snooty women. And all those hi spiked heels…yikes, the chiropractors must have a booming business over there! That being said I do think perhaps the French have a way of taking the time to enjoy life more than we do and they are not so much a throw-away society as America.
I have lived in Europe (England) and have an English husband and European friends and I would say that Americans are louder in speech, don’t listen to what other people are saying and are just waiting their turn to talk. Americans are not as smart as the English. I enjoy being with them more as they are not as nosy, loud, rude as Americans. On the other hand, I guess we are open, friendly, inquisitive and our stuff is cheaper here. When friends come over they buy jeans, sneakers, and cosmetics like crazy…Good stuff is in both countries but if I had a chance to live anywhere, Europe by far my first choice or Northern California near the coast.
Chelsea and Sacha speak English with no accent, so what will seem strange to Americans here in the US, is that they sound like Americans (as in, if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, …)but don’t have the complete exposure of the American culture. When I came here to go to university, a fellow student, upon finding out that not only had I never seen “Leave It to Beaver” nor “Gilligan’s Island”, but had never heard of them, demanded of me “What kind of American are you – some kind of Communist?” They’ll both probably get used to the convenience of everything being open anytime you need something really quickly. It’s nice that Europe wraps the day up for family/personal time.
Interesting reading everyones comments. I am an American who just spent 8 months in Paris, France. I am fresh with an opinion. First and foremost, I get so tired of Americans bashing themselves. We live in an amazing country, we have freedoms that many only dream of. I love the openness and the acceptance of most Americans. I think that we are more eager to embrace change than the French. I love the wide open space of America and the chance to see the ocean, mountains, desert all within a couple of hours time (if you live in California…which is where I grew up). I read so many books about the well-behaved French children and found the polar opposite. Now, I do think the French are more concerned about slowing down and savoring some of the smaller things in life; like meal time. They also have a higher regard for education. The architecture and beauty of France is amazing. One of the most beautiful countries I have ever visited. While I enjoyed our short stay in Paris, France and will hold many memories close to my heart, I love America more! I think mainly because of it’s people who are so warm and open.
Having met you and Yann and visiting your country this past May, I have to share my thoughts about the two cultures.
1. I observed most women are confident in themselves. Low cut blouses that show a little cleavage…I loved that. It is so feminine and soft. Every woman should show cleavage. I came home and changed my blouses and top to show just a hint of cleavage.
2. I never experience rudeness! If at a market and there was a language barrier, they would write the price on a piece of paper…very accommodating.
3. The French eat healthier, and are not over wt. They walk a lot, linger in the cafe’s and drink wine with meals. I loved that!!!
4. I found the roads narrower than ours and the French drive faster and a little manic. We only scraped the side of a stone wall once!!
5. Most everything shuts down from 1:00 to 3:00 in the afternoon. Dinner is later then in America, anyway for the mid west states.
6. The food I remember the most? Cheese, tomato’s, baguettes, croissants, thin ham, and wine. Oh the wine is delicious. The espresso and ice cream are divine.
7. The scenery is much like the different parts of the USA, except for the quaint villages that dot the landscape. There is nothing like that here. The history is over the top…so much to take in and see.
I fell in love with southern France, and want to return yearly now. I just love being able to buy, see, and touch the linens, and lace. That in itself is a feast!!
hugs..Sharon
PS…the salads were over the top. ALL GREEN LEAF!! No iceberg, anemic looking salads. Full of tomato’s, olives, yum. The out door food markets were unbelievable!! I am glad I did not go to Paris for my first trip to France!!!
For me, it is hard to compare. France is a very old country,steeped in history, religion and traditions — it has seen monarchs, revolutions, wars and occupations. I think that has molded it’s culture in ways that we Americans cannot understand.
Living in California who’s history is so new in comparison, who’s statehood happened because of a gold rush, who’s oldest buildings are from the mid/late 1800s (with the exception of the Missions) and who’s people are for the most part immigrants in one form or the other – the ‘American Dream’ is a driving force.
I have heard from other Europeans that American’s work too hard — I am not talking about the 5% who have $$$, but rather the middle class — little/no vacations, both parents having to work full time to live the dream.
Could you imagine businesses all shutting down for 2 hour lunches here in California to linger and enjoy one’s meal?!?!? Oh, to dream!
I can’t wait to know what your kid’s observations will be — it should be very interesting.
What I would like Corey to know is – that your blog enlightened me on so many things I didn’t realize about the French….so thank you. And what I love about France is everything that seems to be seen through Corey’s eyes and her blog.
I think I am more envious of Corey’s lifestyle and geographic location than I am of France on a whole. You are one lucky lady miss Corey!!!! 🙂
Hi Corey, am I the only English reader ?! Too presumtive on that basis to comment but I have scratched the surface of NY and California and scratched the S of F a little more vigourously. I have found both nationalities both polite charming and welcoming but I find the French way a little nearer the English. More reserved and parochial but immensely sincere. French certainly have the edge over the English for enjoying the moment. America I fear maybe even further towards the other end of the spectrum. I guess how you are living and in what part of the country makes a big difference in whatever nation, Jx
Having recently returned from my first visit to Paris, I found a few key differences that I’m trying to incorporate into our lives:
* Focusing more on quality rather than quantity – be it food, clothing, or decorating.
* Better balance of work and life. We loved the signs indicating when shops would be open – it seemed clear that the emphasis was on having a life, not just catering to tourists and making money .
Contrary to all those rumors about how rude the French are, we found Parisians to be friendly and helpful. My daughter thinks it was probably because we made an effort to speak French, didn’t dress like we were going on a hike in the woods, and were polite when asking for help. I took it as a compliment that I was asked for directions (by clearly American tourists ) – twice!
We are dealing with sterotypes here which is rather dangerous I suppose however there are many subtle differences to the outside observer.I think because the French live in ‘communes’ they develop a sense of the ‘group/community’ and are governed by more ‘conventions’ and expectations.This is more commonly seen outside large cities.Anyone who has tried to paint their shutters outside the regulated 4 colours will know what I mean! However this is one of the reasons tourists love France..the palette which of course is planned.The celebration of small things..the wrapping of a gift,the setting of a table just for one,the lingering over meals and conversation which appears more muted and considered….the belief that most French really think they are the best at everything!Rude people are everywhere in the world..I have heard French are like coconuts..hard to crack but when you do,you get the soft,sweet centre…the passion lies behind the facade which is more intriging than overt empty noise.Viva la difference!
I shared an apartment with a deaf girl from France and found that she mastered English much, much better than Americans. She and her mother left France for the states some years before we met. One day, my roommate explained that her mom who lived in a nearby state or two away and would be coming for a visit. So we cleaned the apt. and waited…and waited..! Apparently her mom miscalculated the distance thinking it wouldn’t take long a drive and ended up pleading the apt. maintance to wake up and let her in the apt. at 3am!
First of all, I love the big ring!
Here’s a question for you: What do you miss about France (not food or wine related) when you are in the U.S.?
I too have loved France for as long as I can remember. Even as a little girl (I’m talking four or five years old and I am definitely NOT that now :)) I have loved France. I believe (with no first hand experience) that probably many American tourists go to France and want things the “American” way.(why go to another country if you do not want to embrace its culture?) Maybe this contributes to some undertandable rudeness. From what I have heard, I do believe that the French savor a meal much more than Americans and something no one else has mentioned – maybe the French are not so uptight about their bodies, etc…. Are these comments anywhere near accurate, Corey?
oops, that should have been “understandable” 🙂
I am American, lived for many years in Tokyo and travel to Sweden quite often, but not to France yet (but soon!) so I can’t speak to French/US differences from experience. My daughter attended university in Lyon and wrote frequently about her observations of French life. Here are a few impressions…
1. Fr. are very family-oriented, and take dinner together everyday, sometimes lunches, have longer maternity leave, and generally spend more time together, say on a Friday night, than in the US.
2. In the US people are very rush, rush, rush and the Fr. are more laid back. Not so concerned about being on time and do not get their meals to go to eat in the car on the way to soccer practice or any where else.
3. Work style – most shops in France are actually closed for lunch, at night and for holidays.
4. Shopping – with the exception of Monoprix, it is rare to find one-stop shopping. Things are categorized such as bread at bakery, certain meats at certain meat shops, bandaids at pharmacie, fruits market, fish market, etc. Ate very fresh foods.
5. French women wear less makeup than in US and dress more simply but very chic (it HAS to be genetic!!!).
6. Americans are clean freaks (her words). The Fr. wear their clothes for longer periods before washing them.
7. Fr. people are very nice and helpful. She found that when she spoke French, people always wanted to practice their English with her (of course, what young Frenchman wouldn’t want to practice English with a pretty girl?)
8. She loved the way a certain young man would pluralize nouns when speaking English. Would you like some shrimps? I love your hairs…so endearing!
9. Nude beaches…we just don’t have enough of them here! Maybe we wouldn’t have such an obesity problem here if we had more NBs, or maybe we’d at least become more accepting of the au natural. Just a thought! 🙂
So looking forward to hearing tales of Chelsea and Sacha and life in the US.
– Americans work too much and do not take enough vacation or spend enough time with their family
– Americans do not travel enough (lack of vacation)
– Americans tend to fear the unknown
– Americans like to travel and find the US but somewhere else. Europeans tend to like to see the differences.
There are so many things one could write here… but this is a little start! Thanks for the thoughtful post! Erica
Having just spent some time with a large group of French I would say that they like to take vacations with family, even though they see each other all of the time and that they expect a full lunch and dinner each day. I just can’t eat like that. I want to snack at dinner time. I finally got my husband trained to not expect a full dinner. When he asks me what’s for dinner I tell him whatever he wants to fix.
I have always thought that in general, comfort is American (all the continent I mean) for some things as number of bathrooms in the house and toilette paper for instance, building isolation on winter time, etc) and luxury is mostly European.
and Sacha is right, it happened to me to find difficult to greet people in North America, specially in Canada.
Corey, I think this “conversation” to be really interesting. Having lived in Germany for 5 years, I agree that Europeans do appreciate a much slower pace, except when driving their cars. They enjoy a leisurely pace for meals which I think I miss the most. I did learn not to love shopping malls and since returning some 15 years ago, I RARELY go into a shopping mall. The idea of “open 24 hours” is something that I have thought to be such a waste having lived where you require the discipline to plan when to shop. It’s really not that hard. My daughter went to an international high school in The Netherlands and I think her appreciation for another language and respect for another culture has benefited her immensely. I hope Sasha and Chelsea enjoy school and are able to share their French culture with their classmates. I miss the sight of children holding their parents hands as they walk…..no matter how old they are. My daughter (34) to this day will loop her arm through mine as we walk.
Thanks,
Gwen
I run the risk of stereotyping but I have observed the following generalizations:
* The French smoke more/smoking is more accepted in France. Hooray for our smoking ban in all bars and restaurants here in Milwaukee!
* The French are less afraid to use candor when engaged with others, strangers or loved ones alike.
* The French prioritize delight more, i.e. savoring food, breaks, vacation time and their sexual conduct without as much guilt or conflict compared to Americans.
* Americans are more open and perhaps warmer and friendlier on a superficial level. The French take longer to warm up to, but once you reach a certain point, friendships tend to last longer.
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