Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Brocante Book, Modern Relationships … Write a page in a few lines win a book

18th century book

Photography and Text, Corey Amaro

The book, bindless, missing a few pages, rather old (1780) yet talks about modern times: "Bad wife", "The Good Husband" and the "Happy Divorce"… Written in old French makes it a tougher read for someone who barely reads food labels. Also it goes on to say "The Good Mother"… I think there are a few chapters missing… like why the husband is good, and the wife if bad, yet the divorce is happy?

Nap III frame 

"In my defense, I was sick and tired of carrying water to the house, carrying wood for the fire, picking up his shoes, and feeding the hogs."

All I asked was for a holiday in Hawaii. To wear some flowers in my hair and for a pair of sunglasses."

What creative story line would you add? Page, chapter title whatever….

I'll pick a winning chapter tomorrow and send the winner an old 18th century book.

Comments

31 responses to “Brocante Book, Modern Relationships … Write a page in a few lines win a book”

  1. Kathy Barrick

    “It all started with an argument, an ordinary, run-of-the-mill, ‘please put the toilet seat down’ argument. How is escalated into this is beyond me…..”

    Reply
  2. Dana Sparkle

    It always starts with the kiss…
    Other chapters included “the good lover” and the “nosy neighbour” but the neighbour’s affair with the husband made for the pleasant divorce…
    *
    hee hee hee that’s fun…

    Reply
  3. Barbara

    “Do you actually think the look on my face and pursed lips are from the bliss you left me with?” “Good God man, you are not all you think you are!”
    She stood staring at the milk can in deep thought only hoping this would be the time when she could tell him how she really felt. She didn’t even care where she would go, she just had to, she just had to leave, and the sooner the better.
    The cow mooed–lifting her once again from deep and pensive thoughts of an entirely different blissful moment.

    Reply
  4. Jackie

    “It is time we define “good” and “bad!” I am bad because I do not want to labor like a slave for a man? He is good because he always returns home? The dog is a better companion! My mother saved me from this life, and now I will save my daughter-together we shall live, supporting ourselves from the earnings of our stall at the brocante…Ah yes, happy is the divorce that frees the heart and soul, and supports the brocante!

    Reply
  5. Candace

    “But Dear, you know the hogs will die if we take a week long trip to Hawaii. Who will feed the hogs while we are gone? My poor babies will starve. It was at that moment the idea came to her. The hogs must go. Some mysterious desease would work nicely. She smiled to herself. It’s me or the hogs. The hogs must go.

    Reply
  6. Colette

    Marie and Claude sat on the banks of the river, feeling the sun kiss their faces and the sound of the water calling in their ears. She leapt up, removed her many layers of clothing and went skipping into the water. ‘You’re a bad wife’, chuckled Claude. ‘No wife of mine would behave so shamelessly. But i am a good husband and I shall join you to protect your honour.’ ‘I’m not your wife, I’m a water nymph’ she retorted. ‘Then I shall happily divorce my wife and start a new life with you,’ he beamed. When they returned to the house the good mother saw their wet, dishevelled hair, smiled to herself and offered them cocoa.

    Reply
  7. Liz Mathews

    Chapter XI: Romantic text does not a relationship make!

    Reply
  8. Katiebell

    Book Title: “How to Perfect the Art of Type-casting Yourself and Your Loved Ones, for Pleasure and Entertainment. A Modern French Instruction Manual for the Whole Family.”
    Chapter one: “The Bad Wife
    Sleep in, stay in silky nighty all morning.
    Put your feet up and read all afternoon,
    Forget to feed the family, drink cocktails and eat chocolate instead, then only if he has been a very ‘Good Husband’ (see chapter two) be extra ‘bad’, take him to bed and enjoy him entirely.
    Chapter Two: “The Good Husband
    Stays in bed with bad wife (see previous chapter) all morning, following this he makes her tea and breakfast in bed. Does the house work, feeds family, gives wife chocolate, makes great cocktails and retires early. Enjoys her pleasure more then his own.”
    Chapter Three: “Good Children
    are always supportive of their parents needs for plenty of ‘rest’ and ‘peace and quiet’ (especially in the mornings and evenings). These ‘good’ children know to provide ample supplies of chocolate to pacify the moody mother by applying small doses of love and cuteness at key moments to overt disaster.”
    Chapter four: “A Happy family
    Is again a progressive, modern concept, in which everyone respects and values each other as equals. (Esp. the Wife, who needs to be allowed plenty of appreciation, rest and chocolate to maintain her equalibrium.)
    Chapter Five: “The Good Mother
    The good mother (Esp Mothers in law) is one that knows how to stay out of the parents relationship and when to remove children to preserve the sanity and happiness of the parents. She respects all their decisions and appreciates the need for them to have plenty of time for the couple to enjoy time together so as to preserve her only hope, the possibility of a a ‘happy divorce’ (see chapter six)
    Chapter six: “Happy Divorce
    When the modern couple has an open approach, and a good friendship, a divorce can be a positive and progressive experience for all. After all there is such a thing as friends with benefits and couples outside of wedlock are known to enjoy more frequent pleasures of the physical kind. So if your relationship needs a renewed spark, perhaps consider this?”
    Chapter Seven: “The Happy couple
    Requires the Wife to regularly enjoy the husbands ‘goodness’ (esp in the arts of love) While the happy husband is to revel in the brilliant ‘badness’ of his fabulous wife. Or in the case of the happily divorced couple (see chapter six) They may doubly enjoy each others company without the stereo-type-casting!!!”
    (Apologies I was not really inspired. Please, I am feeling tired Corey, I made a big effort and I REALLLLLY would *love* that book!) *grovels, begs, drools*
    Katiebell x

    Reply
  9. Sue

    When I came into the house from feeding the hogs, he asked me to prepare a quiche for dejeuner.
    “Quiche? Art thou a crazy person? Quiche is hardly a repast for a real gentleman.”
    And so he left to walketh into town to the little cafe, happy in the knowledge of a soon-to-be full belly courtesy of that tart Esmerelda, who would waiteth on him hand and foot.
    As for me, I set a carafe of rouge and my glass on the table and called it a day.

    Reply
  10. pinar

    this must be an “epoque” version of my story..
    the short messages came out..
    all relations are sms’ed..and modern..
    and all descriptions .. like happy.. good.. bad.. are oldversions now..
    I would like to read that book =)..

    Reply
  11. Sharon, Morrison Mercantile

    I want to hear the rest of your story at Yann’s uncle’s house…
    A writer I am not.

    Reply
  12. Lindsay

    Missing chapters….
    The Rules for a Peaceful Household
    “As all men know, the wife sets the mood for the home. Should your wife fail to wait upon you hand and foot, it is your right as the man of the house to seek alternate arrangements. Consider a quiet and swift divorce. Then wed the comely and buxom milkmaid at the neighboring farm, or perhaps the shy daughter of your business partner as a less contentious companion…”
    And then there is the chapter hidden from the male readers…
    How to rid yourself of the bad husband
    Should your husband become tiring and a bore, consult the chapters which describe the bad wife, and follow each suggestion. If well carried out, you should be soon rid of him, as he instead takes the local milkmaid or partner’s daughter to wife. Then you may retire to Paris to write, paint, frequent cafes and attend literary salons with your lover du jour, while he is tethered to the uneducated, uncouth milkmaid who has resulted in his being dropped from all polite society, or the incurably silly, constantly giggling daughter of his business partner, whom he cannot divorce because his entire livelihood would collapse. Thus you may enjoy a happy divorce…

    Reply
  13. Tamra / The Gilded Barn

    But your Honor, he promised me a Chateau, I got a small maison with a sod roof which I have cleaned ever so diligently.
    He promised me running water but did not explain that I would be doing the running as I carried it from the well every day, which I did.
    He promised me lovely shoes with buckles of silver and pearls but did not explain that they were once his mothers and much too small for my feet, which I tried ever so hard to put on.
    He promised me a household staff to manage, he did not explain that I would be the staff and would have to manage his mothers orders.
    He promised me delicious food from the garden but did not explain that I would tend the potager all by myself AND do the cooking, which I have done.
    He promised me pets to delight me, he did not explain that it would be livestock for me to tend to, which I have fed taken care of.
    He promised me fine meats but did not explain I would do all the butchering.
    The Constable turned his gaze from the beautiful young wife and lowered his eyes on the “Good husband”. The “Good husband” gulped.
    So in my defense your Honor, he never once explained that his mother did not take a little arsenic in her tea……

    Reply
  14. Cheri

    She had been a good and faithful wife for many years. She cooked, she cleaned, tended the garden, fed the animals, darned his stinky socks, endured his clumsy attempts at love making, spent many sleepless nights while he snored, AND allowed his shrew of a mother to live with them. One bright summer day as she was returning from the market she noticed a scuffle in the town square. Unable to quench her curiosity, she ventured closer to see what all the fuss was about. Two locals having had a bit too much to drink were fighting in the fountain. As they splashed about cursing and flailing in the water, a law officer came to break up the fight. He quickly subdued the drunken men,and then his eyes met hers. She blushed at his stare and knew she should leave, but her feet were frozen in place. The law man sent the scoundrels on their way and offered a cup of coffee at the cafe. “Why, sir… I am married.” she said. “So am I” he replied, “but she spends all my money on sweaters and she does not understand me.” “I prefer beautiful shoes to sweaters!” she said. “Mon Cherie…. I have looked my entire life for a woman who appreciates a beautiful pair of shoes. Come with me and I will take you to the finest shoe maker in the country where I will buy you the perfect shoes for your beautiful feet.” And so they forgot about the coffee and went immediately to try on shoes. He (Robert) never tired of shoe shopping & when she (Claire) did… he would puase to rub her feet until she had the strength to shop again. In the coming weeks, Claire learned that Robert is an attentive, accomplished lover, does not snore, does not wear socks, his mother (may she rest in peace) is buried in Austria,and that his wife was sleeping with the drunk from the town square. Robert does not like animals, enjoys take out food and a good glass of wine. So they abandoned their spouses and lived happliy ever after and to this day, Claire has the best wardrobe of shoes in Europe AND a man who rubs her feet. Good, bad, happy….. it all depends on your perspective! Here’s to a happy divorce!

    Reply
  15. Catalina

    ” You know…some people get depressed because it rains -and you know here it rains all the time- and there is no light…I need light, sunny days. If we move or get divorced and I go anywhere else, we will be happy”
    🙂

    Reply
  16. Denise Solsrud

    how to make a marriage liveable.appreciate and respect your wife and all the reasons that you should not take your wife for granted. and that’s it. Bestest,Denise

    Reply
  17. Cheryl ~ Casual Cottage Chic

    We laughed
    We loved
    We lived
    We lied
    We lingered
    We left

    Reply
  18. Marilyn

    I would add a gorgeous, hunky guy with money on the beach in Hawaii. Now that would be the ultimate picture.
    No great story, but I do want to hear more about the uncles home and what did end up coming home with your so to be French Husband.

    Reply
  19. Lisa Oceandreamer

    A tiny little book entitled:
    She worked hard even before they met and starting as a child. He recognized her strength from the moment he saw her. Her hair in an upswept bun with strands escaping all around her face. With the back of her hand she’d wipe away her hair as she scrubbed floors. He longed to be the back of her hand.
    Her clothes were a bit tattered but she wore them well and kept them as clean as possible. The day they met he was in the shadows once again watching her when his attention was averted by a loud noise. Just at that moment she stepped out to throw the last of the wash water on to the street and doused him accidently. Their eyes met, he using his handkerchief do dab the water that clouded his vision. Suddenly there was no one else in the world but them and without a word spoken he leaned in and kissed her cheek. She blushed but did not react.
    They kept company every day after that.
    They made plans, big plans, long range plans of marriage and a home and dreams of owning chickens and goats and perhaps even a cow. But most of all they planned for a houseful of children.
    They married in a small ceremony, she wore flowers in her hair and made her dress from cotton yardage given to her by a neighbor.
    The house they found was a stone cottage, well laid out with several small rooms. The land around them wasn’t much in terms of acreage but it accomodated a chicken coop, a pen for the goats and a grazing area for the cow. She also grew a garden and fed them from her efforts. He was a fix-it man well versed in almost any task given to him.
    They would sit and eat their meals talking about the townsfolk and the latest news in the county. Neither of them discussed what was hanging in the air, the air that was thick with disappointment and angst for the last four years.
    Each time they quietly and politely made love she would stare out the window praying that this would be the time. After a few years they took to saying a quiet good night and would turn away from one another. Neither seeing the others lone tear slowly making its way to the pillow.
    The towns people looked at her in pity and would whisper how sad it was they were childless. Whisper that a woman so young was barren after fours years of marriage.
    The time came when they ran out of conversation and the weight of their biggest dream not coming true drove a wedge between them. She worked day and night in the garden to keep from seeing anyone. He began to sit in the grazing field reading books. Money was becoming more and more scarce so she tried to sell her vegetables at the market for milk and essentials.
    The time came when both of them knew that they had put so much emphasis on wanting children that they neglected the family THEY were as a couple. They were both still young but the loss of that dream made them feel old, tired and used up. He said he didn’t blame her but she knew inside he did.
    Eventually they separated.
    The day they moved out of their stone cottage the new occupants carriage pulled up and out jumped two boys and two girls running about the garden. They left the animals to the new folks and right away the children were petting the goats. She had been assured they would not neglect the garden.
    They turned before the road was to split, taking them in different directions, looked back and sighed. The cottage was to have their dream of a household full of children and in some small way that consoled their aching hearts.
    She carried the dried flowers from her hair and her weddinng dress in a satchel with her other meager possessions. He carried a wooden box with some tools and books and other meager possessions. Neither discussed where the other was going, they only knew it would probably be the last time they saw one another.
    Until…
    It was to be 3 years later before they saw each other again and that’s when he discovered a startling surprise……

    Reply
  20. Lisa Oceandreamer

    oops forgot the title:
    “BROKEN”

    Reply
  21. Liz Mathews

    Chapter XI- Beng a good husband in the digital age:
    Actions speak louder than words. Romantic texts dont cut it. Put down the phone and go buy some flowers 🙂

    Reply
  22. Delphine Payne

    ‘A book! A book! You bring home a book. What good is this? You think you are a man of education, just because you can read. You squander our money on , on, on…..books. We cannot eat books. I drag water from the well, I feed the hogs your mother gave you and you sit on your derrier reading. I , I want a divorce. ‘
    He placed the book on the table and looked at the unkempt woman before him and nodded. He was not happy either . He could hear his mother’s voice ,‘I told you so. She cannot even write her own name.’
    The divorce was swift and he returned to live with his Maman.
    Celeste got a job in an inn and worked hard. The Inn Keeper was old and looked upon her as a daughter. He died and left his little business to this hard working girl. It was just a small inn outside of Paris. Celeste hired Madame Lune to be the cook. As each coach stopped for refreshments she paid special attention to the drivers and made sure they had plenty to eat. Soon word spread and all coaches stopped at the little inn (La Petite Cygne). Business was good and Celeste bought another inn on the other side of Paris. Within three years she owned most of the inns on the outskirts of Paris and a fine house of her own.
    She had time to rest. She employed a tutor, Monsieur Delon. Her mind was quick and she soon learnt to read. Monsieur Delon was most attentive and spent many, many hours with Celeste. Together they read and shopped for … books.

    Reply
  23. Natalie Thiele

    More diversionary tactics Corey. It seems to me this happened when we were voyeurs on the last matchmaking story, the Frenchman and American woman caught in the earthquake aftermath. I am still hoping that you will have a grand finish to FH’s Great Uncle’s story.
    By the way, your readers, like you, are great writers.

    Reply
  24. Betsy

    This time my arguments are being heard by my lawyer and I am thinking that the settlement will take care of my dream to visit Hawaii.
    This will be a happy divorce, something to really look forward too.
    Betsy

    Reply
  25. Merisi

    Invitation au Voyage
    (as Baudelair would have written it,
    had he known the whole story)
    Think, would it not be
    Sweet to live with me
    and be my sweet love
    instead of the bad wife?
    Sleep together, share
    All things, in that fair
    Country you remind me of?
    Charming in the dawn
    There, the half-withdrawn
    Drenched, mysterious sun appears
    In the curdled skies,
    Treacherous as your eyes
    Shining from behind their tears.
    There, restraint and order bless
    Luxury and voluptuousness.
    We should have a room
    Never out of bloom:
    Tables polished by the palm
    Of the vanished hours
    Should reflect rare flowers
    In that amber-scented calm;
    Ceilings richly wrought,
    Mirrors deep as thought,
    Walls with eastern splendor hung,
    All should speak apart
    To the homesick heart
    In its own dear native tongue.
    There, after the happy divorce,
    restraint and order bless

    Luxury and voluptuousness, and,
    for once, a good husband by your side.
    See, their voyage past,
    To their moorings fast,
    On the still canals asleep,
    These big ships; to bring
    You some trifling thing
    They have braved the furious deep.
    — Now the sun goes down
    over Waikiki Beach,
    Tinting dyke and town,
    Field, canal, all things in sight,
    Hyacinth and gold;
    All that we behold
    Slumbers in its ruddy light.
    There, restraint and order bless
    Luxury and voluptuousness.
    (After the English translation by
    Edna St. Vincent Millay)
    (I consider this not part of the competition, Corey –
    not my words, after all,
    I just had to think of Baudelaire’s Invitation au Voyage
    when I read your post.)

    Reply
  26. Lorelei

    Another chapter, Always Kiss Me Goodnight (and Good Morning, too)!

    Reply
  27. Victoria Ramos

    “I want to drink more, live more, love more, be more…..” “With you or without you, there must be more to life!” She exclaimed as she threw down the slop bucket.
    ….PS all I can say is these comments are awesome – such creativity. I am late in the game here, but I loved the whole idea of it, so I had to write a tiny bit of story.

    Reply
  28. claudette

    To wear some flowers in my hair and for a pair of sunglasses. Modest accessories that would define my state of mind as I relaxed on warm sand, the incoming tide tickling my toes, my brain welcoming my own thoughts and aspirations, not his.”
    Closing story line submission. I’m a first time visitor and fan to Tongue in Cheek. My mother was a French war bride coming to the states at 16 years old with no knowledge of the English language. I’ve only made one trip to France, but that one encounter felt as if I had found a second home. Thanks for bringing that experience back to me on a daily basis.

    Reply
  29. Franca Bollo

    … To wear some flowers in my hair and for a pair of sunglasses. I should have stopped there. But I pushed on, my excitement over the possibilities stripping propriety from my words. He didn’t blink at the rum drinks with umbrellas but the mention of a belly-button ring but him over the edge.

    Reply
  30. Julie W.

    Corey, since you said we could still add to the story, I could not resist:
    *Good Husband, (good in his own eyes and those of his Mother) has always lived to please the doting matriarch.
    *Good Mother, (good in her own eyes and those of her dutiful son) was crushed when the boy decided to marry and leave home. She resented Bad Wife from the beginning.
    *Bad Wife could do no right in the eyes of her critics, Good Husband and Good Mother. Every effort she made to please the pair was met with harsh beratings from her spouse and continual reproach from her meddlesome mother-in-law.
    *Happy Divorce for all! “Good” Husband returns to his childhood home and the open arms of “Good” Mother, as they continue to pursuade one another of their mutual goodness, while reaping the just fruits of their pitiful sham. And Bad Wife is now loosed from the cruel oppressors who had her convinced of her badness. She is free to discover life, love, laughter, and genuine GOODNESS.

    Reply
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