Photos and text: Corey Amaro
The other day I found this book, the pages were barely hanging on, I
asked the dealer how much? French Husband looked at the book, looked at
me, looked at the dealer and shrugged.
He doesn't get the attraction to things on their last leg.
He doesn't understand that kind of reckless beauty.
His knees don't buckle at the sight of old junky stuff with a price tag…
BUT he does get me. He shrugged, then said, "I am certain it is going to look better the moment you take it home."
French Husband lets me do what I want with our home. He likes how I
do what I do. Sure sometimes he pitches a fit about some little thing,
like why he can't put a hammock in the living room, or why I do not want him
to glue photos on the wall, or have post its on the refrigerator door.
Like I have said a million times to that guy of mine: We both have our passions, we both have our different hobbies that make us who we are… He likes to jump off mountains, go down caves, ride with the wind and fly in the sky… And I like to create a home with falling apart old things from the brocante.
He gets his toys.
I get the house.
I get to hear his adventures without getting dirty or bruised.
He gets to come home, sit on a rickety chair, eat off a chipped plate and sleep on linen bedsheets.
Harmony comes with give and take….. and a few odds and ends.
The winners of an old falling apart book are (so many good entries I could not pick just one):
Delphine Payne with her entry:
"….‘A book! A
book! You bring home a book. What good is this? You think you are a
man of education, just because you can read. You squander our money on ,
on, on…..books. We cannot eat books. I drag water from the well, I
feed the hogs your mother gave you and you sit on your derrier reading.
I , I want a divorce. ‘
He placed the book on the table and looked at the unkempt woman before
him and nodded. He was not happy either . He could hear his mother’s
voice ,‘I told you so. She cannot even write her own name.’
The divorce was swift and he returned to live with his Maman.
Celeste got a job in an inn and worked hard. The Inn Keeper was old and
looked upon her as a daughter. He died and left his little business to
this hard working girl. It was just a small inn outside of Paris.
Celeste hired Madame Lune to be the cook. As each coach stopped for
refreshments she paid special attention to the drivers and made sure
they had plenty to eat. Soon word spread and all coaches stopped at the
little inn (La Petite Cygne). Business was good and Celeste bought
another inn on the other side of Paris. Within three years she owned
most of the inns on the outskirts of Paris and a fine house of her own.
She had time to rest. She employed a tutor, Monsieur Delon. Her mind
was quick and she soon learnt to read. Monsieur Delon was most
attentive and spent many, many hours with Celeste. Together they read
and shopped for … books."
and another winner of an old book is:
Cheryl at Casual Cottage Chic:
We laughed
We loved
We lived
We lied
We lingered
We left.
Tamra The Gilded Barn, who wrote:
The Good Husband: Le Bon Mari:
"But your Honor, he promised me a Chateau, I got a small maison with a sod roof which I have cleaned ever so diligently.
He promised me running water but did not explain that I would be doing
the running as I carried it from the well every day, which I did.
He promised me lovely shoes with buckles of silver and pearls but did
not explain that they were once his mothers and much too small for my
feet, which I tried ever so hard to put on.
He promised me a household staff to manage, he did not explain that I
would be the staff and would have to manage his mothers orders.
He promised me delicious food from the garden but did not explain that I
would tend the potager all by myself AND do the cooking, which I have
done.
He promised me pets to delight me, he did not explain that it would be
livestock for me to tend to, which I have fed taken care of.
He promised me fine meats but did not explain I would do all the butchering.
The Constable turned his gaze from the beautiful young wife and
lowered his eyes on the "Good husband". The "Good husband" gulped.
So in my defense your Honor, he never once explained that his mother did not take a little arsenic in her tea……"
"The Happy Divorce, L'Heureux Divorce"
The Rules for a Peaceful Household
"As all men know, the wife sets the mood for the home. Should your
wife fail to wait upon you hand and foot, it is your right as the man of
the house to seek alternate arrangements. Consider a quiet and swift
divorce. Then wed the comely and buxom milkmaid at the neighboring
farm, or perhaps the shy daughter of your business partner as a less
contentious companion…"
And then there is the chapter hidden from the male readers…
How to rid yourself of the bad husband
Should your husband become tiring and a bore, consult the chapters
which describe the bad wife, and follow each suggestion. If well
carried out, you should be soon rid of him, as he instead takes the
local milkmaid or partner's daughter to wife. Then you may retire to
Paris to write, paint, frequent cafes and attend literary salons with
your lover du jour, while he is tethered to the uneducated, uncouth
milkmaid who has resulted in his being dropped from all polite society,
or the incurably silly, constantly giggling daughter of his business
partner, whom he cannot divorce because his entire livelihood would
collapse. Thus you may enjoy a happy divorce…
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