In Memory of Justin

The Honda Ninety Ride

Photography and text by Corey Amaro (Photo: Part of The Honda Ninety Club)

Early yesterday morning a dear family friend died. Justin was forty years old.

His father Nolan was one of my father's favorite motorcycling friends. Justin grew up with my brothers, they were best buddies.

 

Friends riding

(Photo: Top, my brother Zane, Justin and my brother Mark.)

Justin was older than my brother Zane and younger than my brothers Marty, Mathew and Mark.

One of my earliest memories of Justin, is of his mother, Mary, standing at our front door. Mary brought over a sack of clothes, she said to my mom, "Justin grew out of these and I thought your youngest son Zane might be able to use them."

My mother was happy, Zane was happy, and I was sixteen wondering why she didn't have an older daughter. Zane had hand me downs from Justin until he was in the eighth grade. After that Justin rocketed in height and his clothes were way too big to pass down.

Justin also like to beat up Zane just for fun. You see when you grow up as the only girl with four brothers, you see a great deal of guys beating each other up just for fun.

Justin was like one of my brothers.

 

Collage justin             (Photos above, of Justin preparing to ride on the Ninety Ride. Photo below hangs in my family's barn turned into a motorcycle shop. On the right is a photo of Justin with his bike, next to it is a photo of the first Honda Ninety Trip.)

 

 

Motorcycle scrapping

Justin, like his father, loved to ride motorcycles. When Justin's father died at an early age, my dad and brothers took Justin as a brother in their Honda Ninety Motorcycle Club. Which is a riding club strictly for family. Years later, and I mean years later, Justin was the only non family person ever to be part of their club.  


That is just to say he was loved. I never even got to ride in The Honda Ninety Club! (Don't get me wrong I was loved, but no exception was made for me… I was a girl. I was never jealous of Justin… instead I knew he was very special to my family.)

 

My dad

(Photo: My Father)

Certainly, Justin is with his father, and my father. I can imagine their intensely crazy conversations full of catch up stories…. so much so, that God himself must be wondering if he too should have raced a motorcycle.

 

Red honda

 

The other night a pickup pulled out of an intersection without seeing Justin on his motorcycle. The driver (injured) was someone Justin and our families knew.

Sometime life does not give answers, instead it makes us search for meaning. Sometimes our prayers do not feel as they are being heard. Sometimes "why" haunts the hurting soul.

I don't have answers, but I do have a pocketful of faith, love and compassion… I offer these in prayer for Justin's mother, his sister Julie, his girlfriend, his ex-wife (my cousin) Melissa, my brothers, especially for his seven year old son Jay and all his family and friends.

My prayers are offered too for Mr. Lambert (the driver of the pickup) and his family.

 

 

Justin, we will miss you

 

Justin….Ride on Gentle Soul.



Comments

105 responses to “In Memory of Justin”

  1. So sad.
    So sorry.

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your families loss along with Justin’s family, and I too will offer up a prayer for his family.

  3. Oh I am so very sorry to read this…….
    My son’s name is Justin………..
    God bless this precious new soul in Heaven.
    My love and prayers for you all.
    Love and hugs and many prayers
    Jeanne

  4. C, I’ll light a candle and say a prayer for Justin and for you, and especially for his 7 yr old son. Warm hugs from the USA.
    Jackie
    bliss farm antiques

  5. How terribly sad. My sympathies go out to you and family.

  6. My heart goes out to you all. xx

  7. So sad for everyone…

  8. I am so very sorry for your loss.

  9. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Life throws us only questions, rarely it gives us some answeras especially in cases like this. I’m sure Heaven will be more fun now with Justin up there with his and your father, talking about motorcycles and rides and the Ninety Club!

  10. jend’isère

    So sorry for such a tragedy, which did not end in a miracle. Tough this tribute is stunning.

  11. Sending my prayers your way. May your wonderful memories heal you all and keep his spirit alive in your hearts.

  12. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of Justin. Sometimes life just doesn’t make sense. I don’t like those times.

  13. The point you made about not always getting answers, but searching for meaning is well said, sometimes there are simply no answers , you can wear yourself out with the asking. That is when we are to learn our lessons, based on faith, trust,& love. The belief that all things are exactly as they are meant to be,even when there is no way to understand why.You have lifted those of us who do not know Justin,but do know you,you, helped prepare us for a time when we may need to rely on your words of wisdom. Bless you.

  14. Oh, how terribly sad. I’m very sorry.

  15. Ride on…amen. My condolences to you & your family….You wrote this remembrance so beautifully Corey.

  16. I have no words. Just prayers for you and the rest of his family. Obivously he was family to you and yours. So very very tragic, also for that other driver who must be a mess. Thoughts to his precious son.

  17. What a tragedy all around – It sounds as if he had a circle of family and friends who truly loved him and he lived a good life.
    My condolensces to all of you as you mourn the loss of your friend and family member.

  18. May God comfort Justin’s family and yours as you travel this difficult, painful path
    together. I wish you could be there with your family. I know it is even harder to be far away at these times. God bless you, Cory.

  19. Oh Corey, this is just beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss of such a wonderful friend.

  20. So sorry to hear of the loss of a wonderful young man.
    Love and hugs to you all.

  21. Something is in my eyes I can’t even see the page. I’m so sorry Corey for all who are hurting so badly here on earth. I too hope the 3 friends are catching up on old stories….

  22. Corey,
    What a lovely tribute to Justin. My love & prayers are with you all.
    Holly

  23. Judy Morphis

    God bless you all and my prayers are with his family and yours.

  24. My heartfelt sympathy to you, your family, and Justin’s family. May he rest in peace.

  25. I’m so very sad for your and Justin’s family.
    My prayers are with you all.
    Also, prayers for the man in the other vehicle. May our Lord help him heal.

  26. I’ve know Justin for years (we both work for the county), and am a friend of his previous girlfriend. We are all devastated by Justin’s death. Your post is just beautiful, and honestly made me cry for the first time. We are all praying for the Olivera/Knauer/Lambert family for strength is this horrible time.

  27. My thoughts are with all of Justin’s family and friends, but most especially his 7-year-old son Jay. That’s because, when Farmboy Husband was 9, his father was killed and mother badly injured in an auto accident. Then a generation later, a cousin of FH’s was killed in a motorcycle accident, leaving behind a 7-year-old daughter, who’s been extra-special to us ever since.
    There’s not really anything one can do any more for the person who’s died, but I’m sure the Amaro clan will continue to shower lots of love on Jay, as FH’s father’s family as has to him, and to his cousin’s daughter (now grown and married). Please trust me on this (being married to such a surviving child): while s/he will never fully “get over” a parent’s early death, unconditional love and moral (and sometimes financial) support from the extended family really can make a huge difference over the course of the child’s lifetime.

  28. A well spoken tribute, Corey, and in it a celebration of the life of a friend. My condolences.

  29. Cheryl Mohr

    This makes my heart ache for everyone. I am so sorry Corey.

  30. They are not apart from us, but a part of us. Thoughts and prayers and with you and Justin’s family!

  31. Typo correction — should read in relevant part:
    “…as FH’s father’s family always has to him…”

  32. My deepest condolences to all those involved, sometimes there are no answers. I’m sure they are still chatting as we speak, you know how family gets when they haven’t seen each other in a while.

  33. Brenda L from TN

    I am so very sorry to read of the loss of a good friend to you and your brothers. I, too, will offer a prayer for Justin’s family and especially his son. How sad for him. Mr Lambert needs prayers as well. He wouldn’t have wanted this. A terrible terrible accident.
    My condolences to all….

  34. My prayers and thoughts go out to you and all who love Justin.
    Your words, so beautifully written, say it all.

  35. This is just so very sad.

  36. I am so very sorry for your loss.

  37. Justin will be miss! I think a large part of Willows is still in shock of this horrible accident. Prayers for Mary, Julie, Jay and rest of his family and friends. And for the Lambert family.

  38. My sympathies to Justin’s family, Mr. Lambert and his family and to your family. The town of Willows must be pretty sad right now. How heartbreaking. There recently was a severe car accident in my neighborhood. A young father was killed, his 3 year old daughter was in the back seat of the car and unhurt. Our whole community felt sorrow for the loss.

  39. I will say a prayer for everyone who’s life was touched by this terrible accident. I am so sorry for the loss of this young vibrant young man.

  40. My deep condolences, Corey…this is a lovely, bittersweet tribute to a man who was really part of your family.

  41. Accidents like that are just so so sad and so tragic. Makes me want to hug my loved ones and tell them that they are loved so much.

  42. I am so sorry Corey. The accident is heart griping and just that, an accident. I am praying for all involved. The photos, wow Corey, the photos call out love for all the subjects.

  43. I’m so sorry for your loss, Corey. I can tell by what you’ve shared here that Justin truly was family to you and know that his loss will be deeply felt.
    Keeping you and the rest of your families in my thoughts and prayers

  44. I am so sorry for your loss, and that of your family. You wrote a very touching tribute to him.

  45. Corey…very sorry and will keep everyone in my thoughts and prayers. Your words were touching and beautiful.

  46. C, so very sorry to read this. May God bless all, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  47. Brother Mathew

    Long live the Air Hammer and his awesome slice.

  48. Corey, are you familiar with the children’s book “HOW IT FEELS WHEN A PARENT DIES” by photographer Jill Krementz? It’s a collection of luminous portraits and touching interviews with children of assorted ages, races, religious traditions and genders, whose parents died of all manner of causes, whether suddenly (from accident, suicide or crime) to gradually (of illness, addiction, etc.).
    While Justin’s son is likely still too young to read this book on his own, I recommend it highly for his family to read right now, first so they can understand how children Jay’s age grieve differently from adults (typically in more intense but shorter bursts) — and later to read along with Jay when they feel he’s ready, so he can start trying to make sense of his own feelings.
    This book was recommended to me after Farmboy Husband’s cousin died in a motorcycle crash, to help the cousin’s 7-year-old daughter process her grief. I asked FH to read through the book beforehand, on the pretext of wanting him to tell me whether it rang true or not (he said it did) — but also because even as an adult, FH still had/has unprocessed emotions left over from his own father’s sudden accidental death (sneaky, huh?).

  49. So sorry for your loss.

  50. How painful this must be. You’re right, sometimes there simply are no answers and all we can do is offer our love and prayers. My heart goes out to you and all his loved ones.

  51. I am so sorry for your loss.
    So very sad.

  52. I am so sorry Corey, for your family and Justin’s and for the Lamberts. I wish we could replay the last day or so and that it never happened.

  53. Denise Solsrud

    May God bless Justin’s soul and comforting prayers for all families that suffer in this loss. Bestest,Denise

  54. Corey, I’m heartbroken for all of you who lost this wonderful man much too soon.
    Corey, you really should author a bereavement book. Of course I think you should author any book. Your writing style touches peoples’ hearts and souls in a very rare way. You truly have a God given gift. But the gentleness, compassion, and, yes, even humor in this post would so dearly lend itself to someone in need of this kind of comfort and solace, when nothing makes sense at a grief-stricken time.
    Thinking of you and yours… Donna

  55. This is so heartbreaking. Those of us who have had young loved ones taken in such a sudden, inexplicable way feel the pain all over again.
    My deepest condolences to Justin’s family and friends.

  56. Too many deaths in the past few months.
    Blessings to you and your family.
    hugs…(Corey and fam.)

  57. How terribly sad. My condolences to Justin’s family, yours, and the Lamberts. Very sad for your close-knit small town.

  58. brother mark

    3p racing is now 2p,
    too many tears to type much more,
    go fast turn left.

  59. So sorry for your loss…there have been so many accidents these past months that have left a lot of people asking ‘why’. Maybe one day in the hereafter we will know.

  60. Oh! Such sorrow for the loss of Justin. Such precious frailty is life at times. Thoughts of comfort to all involved.

  61. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you mourn someone special. How very, very sad.

  62. You have had quite a few losses in the past months. My prayers for you and your loved ones passed on.
    x Denise

  63. Beautiful. I think there is no greater honor in life than to be “chosen family” and that is what Justin was for you. May he rest in peace knowing how much he was loved.

  64. Dan Alexander

    Justin will be missed. I remember the good old days of Justin, Zane, etc. riding our BMX bikes and Zane’s dirt bikes and also the many hours hanging out at the Amaro’s. Those were good times!!! My heart goes out to all of you that were close to Justin. Dan A.

  65. No words, Corey. Only prayers. I’ll keep Justin on my prayer list for a week for the repose of his soul.

  66. Oh Corey! I am so very sorry. My deepest condolence to both families. I’d like to share a poem that comforts me at times like this.
    It’s called Immortality.
    I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. He
    is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch him until at length he hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to meet each other. Then someone at my side says, “There, He is gone.” Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. He is just as large in mast and hull and spar as he was when he left my side, and just as able to bear his load of living weights to its place of destination. His diminished size is in me, not in him; and just at the moment when someone at my side says, “There, he is gone”, on the distant shore there are other eyes watching for him coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here he comes”……..and such is dying.

  67. Rebecca from the pacific northwest

    “a pocketful of faith, love and compassion” offered in prayer are just enough. You’ve learned and grown from all your losses (and those of your beloved family’s). This is why tributes from you ring so true.
    Thank you for folding us into this.

  68. What a beautiful tribute to your friend, Justin…my thoughts and prayers go out to Justin’s Family and Friends.

  69. This tribute took my breath away when I read it earlier today. I am so sad for Justin’s family both biological and adopted. I know he will always be in your hearts. Hugs!

  70. Annie vanderven

    Dear Corey
    A pocketfull of faith, how true. Receive my most heartfelt condolences.
    Annie v.

  71. Blessings, sympathy and prayers to all of you. May his spirit live on in each of you and shine bright with memories and love.

  72. Leslie garcia

    Dear Corey,
    I am so sorry for your loss and for the family and their loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you at this sad time. I loved the tribute you gave to Justin in your blog…I feel like I knew him. May you all find Peace and comfort in having known such a great man. It must be so hard for you to be so physically far away from them at this time…but good to be so close in heart.
    Love,
    Leslie

  73. corey,
    my prayers to your family and justin’s, although it sounds like one family.
    meleen

  74. dancing kitchen

    I’m sorry for your hurting heart my dear.

  75. Corey So saddened by the loss of Justin. Our Prayer to all the Families. The awesome Tribute you posted for Justin,brought back great memories of your Dad,Denny Mayhew,Davey LaFrados,Gene Mendes,and Ron Peck. Racing at Cycle Land in Chico. The stands were packed to watch these Great riders. Before the night was out one of them would wipeout the bottom boards of the track. Your Dad,and your Brothers,became his Family at the loss of his Dad. Justin has left us with a legacy of Love and Kindness, your tribute could not have said it any Better. Love All . God Rest His Soul

  76. Heartbreaking…my love and prayers go to you and the family and- Willows.
    Love and tears.
    L

  77. The loss of a young life leaves our hearts saddened. We feel your pain, the pain of this young man’s extended family and the pain of the driver and his family. God will watch over all…

  78. Such a compassionate tribute and I am so sorry for everyone’s loss. There are no answers for such loss and sorrow.

  79. Corey,
    This is a beautiful post. How sad and tragic for both families. My heart goes out to them.
    ~elaine~

  80. Oh Jeeps, Corey–you bring tears to my eyes yet again. You are really getting me lately with these posts–of birth, new life–of death, of passing on–it’s all inextricably tied, isn’t it?
    BTW, I had the weirdest dream of you/about you last night…your photographing madness nearly got you eaten by a monster-like creature in the provencial woods–it’s a weird story that only makes sense in my brain but you made it out alive!! In my dream I was you–I mean, you were me, I was you–I knew it was “Corey” in my dream but it was like I was playing you–everything felt like it was me experiencing it, but it was you. I think that is what you do for us–we live vicariously through you–and vice-versa. I’ll email you the weird details. Glad you/me/we survived!! Ah, girl, what you won’t do for a photo–and an adventure! 🙂
    xoxo,
    amylia

  81. Corey, I am unable to see what I am writing, I am hurting so much thinking of what goes through the hearts and souls of all of you, linked to beautiful soul Justin! I literally just finished reading a ‘final farewell’ mail by another friend of mine who lost their 34yr old son with three small children to cancer and I feel that very often we simply cannot grasp the meaning of what is happening everyday around us and to those we so dearly love.
    I am trying to think that at least Justin is happy to be together with his parents and many of his beloved ones. But that will be no consolation to his family, his children, his dear friends – and neither to the unhappy driver of the pickup, and his family…. So much suffering!
    I will pray for Justin and all of you. God rest his soul and grant him eternal peace.

  82. sorry about what happened Corey
    for both families involved as well
    thinking of you and them.
    a big hug

  83. Beautifully written ~ my thoughts and prayers for Justin’s family & friends.

  84. So, so terribly sad. My condolences to Justin’s family and friends and to the Lambert family.

  85. My thoughts and prayers go to all the families and friends who are grieving for Justin at this time. Your words here show just how much he was loved and will be missed. I am so sorry.

  86. Corey,
    I am so very sorry for your loss and I am holding a good thought for you, your family, Justin’s family and the driver of the truck.

  87. So beautifully written – the perfect tribute. I feel as though I knew him. More importantly, you did know him, and you’re hurting, and I’m sorry.

  88. May God bless Justin’s soul and comforting prayers for all families that suffer in this loss.
    Steve and Kathleen brown

  89. Josh Niehues

    That was a very moving piece. I remember Justin when I first started working at Sani-Food… Then later I got to know him from going on the 90 rides. I’m still in disbelief.

  90. Lindy Rogers

    My most hearfelt prayers and condolences are with all of you.
    ((((big hug))))

  91. Cousin Chris

    Cousin Corey,
    Once again you have left me in tears as all of us “Amaro’s” cry so easily. Wonderful tribute. At any function, Atcthe barn on fridays nights, at a race, at a scrambler ride in the hills, at a scrambler party, Justin and I shake hands and I would reply “Brother Justin”. He would reply Brother Sow-zah” a play on my last name-“souza”.He knew I hated it, he would just smile as I said “OK, Justine” Justin was he one non-relative in the benevolet portuguese brotherhood and touring club as you said. He was an important part in the early years as he worked at a local beer distributor. He would get all the “Dinger” cans (beer that had dented cans that were unsellable), this is what we had for beverage on the ride. Justin was a VERY important “Brother” to the cause!
    I enjoyed going to the races and lending a hand on his bike occasionally. As he left the pits to race I would say “Back her in Hard Justine”. which means to slide the bike into the corner…. very sideways.
    So, my friend, “Go Fast, Turn Left and back’er in hard”
    Cousin,BPBTC Brother,
    Chris Souza (Sow-zah)

  92. I am always sad to hear of anyone dying, but hearing about a young person is particularly sad. My heart goes out to his child especially.
    I was very touched by your thoughts of Mr. Lambert. Seventeen years ago my 30 year old brother was riding his bicycle to work in the morning while it was still dark. A young woman (19 or 20, I think) did not see him, drifted to the bike lane, and hit him. He died at the scene. I still get teary about his death at such a young age, but I often wonder how this event affected the woman. What a heavy burden to carry around, I think.
    Warmest regards,
    Betty

  93. Corey,
    So sorry for your loss, for your family and the families of those involved. What a very sad tragedy.
    Hugs,
    Rosemary

  94. so sorry for your loss Corey…I also just lost a loved one. My Nieces husband died in his sleep on Nov. 11th. He was just 42 years old..He leaves behind his wife and two children. Somethings just cannot be explained or understood….

  95. Beautiful words, Corey. What a wonderful eulogy! You have such a way with words. My prayers go out to Justin’s family. And Mr. Lambert too, who must be devastated. I will keep them close in prayer.

  96. Cynthia, I’m so sorry to hear of the death of your niece’s young husband. Like with Justin, the shock of a sudden death is so hard to handle (not that anyone ever totally finishes the process, and it takes a long long time).

  97. Justin was obviously a great joy to so many. Proof that “it’s what you leave behind you when you go” that matters. People like him enrich the lives of those they touch. Prayers to all left behind to deal with his loss.

  98. I’m so sorry, Corey. How heartbreaking for everyone who knew and loved Justin. I think the best way to honour someone after they pass on is to remember them through favourite, happy stories.

  99. What a beautifully written eulogy to Justin. My thoughts and prayers are with his family, Mr. Lambert’s and with you and yours.

  100. I babysat Justin and Julie a couple of times back in the mid 70s. They will be forever linked in my mind to the premiere of Saturday Night Live in the fall of 1975. That night, fighting to stay awake at 11:30 as I waited for their parents to return, this 14-year-old country girl watched the opening sequence slack-jawed and in awe … transported from the house, six miles from Willows, surrounded by quiet fields and a star-encrusted sky, to the center of New York City with its pulsating lights and full-throttle energy.
    Now, this memory will be forever bittersweet. My heart goes out to everyone who loved Justin, especially his mother, Mary and his sister, Julie.

  101. Justin was a wonderful man, friend, husband and father!!!Our son Jay is doing well….we talk about his father often…I miss Justin and have always loved him!!!!
    My father, Justin’s Friend’s & Justin’s Family will always be by jay’s side…and he will always know what a wonderful man his father was….
    Melissa

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