Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Far far away the Seeds Fly

 

Chelsea, Mr. E. last day

 

I found these photos on my camera this morning: Chelsea, Mr. Espresso and French Husband… were goofing off. Seeing these photos I could almost hear Chelsea egging Mr. Espresso to play it up for the camera, "Come on, don't just stand there, act silly, come on p-l-e-a-s-e, for me p-l-e-a-s-e-e-e-e!"

I see she had no problem striking a pose. In my mind's eye I can hear her laughing.

 

 

King's crown

The night before Chelsea left, Mr. Espresso brought over her favorite cake, which happens to be a Gateaux des Rois (a King's Cake). Tradition has it that whoever finds the feve (the prize) becomes the king or queen for the day.

 

The Queen smiles softly at her King.

 

Two seconds after this photo she had another piece.

 

 

C. with Crown

Yesterday, we received news from Chelsea, the email said:

"I'm in Suzhou! I arrived!
It's…. different! Kinda feels like i'm trapped in a video game!! Completely unreal!
The streets are really long and wide and empty and gray…There is construction going on everywhere!
And police booths at almost every intersection!

Suzhou is really big! We're in the University district so I haven't seen the old part yet.
But on our way here it seemed like we were on the same street for 30 minutes and the landscape never changed…
and it's really foggy from the humidity/cold/pollution…

And there aren't any english speaking chinese people!!

The apartments are nice & clean! And we just got the heater to work 🙂
The mattresses are VERY hard!!

Some of the food looks familiar in the grocery store!"

 

Child019

 

And then… sorting through photos I found this one.

Chelsea and Sacha standing in front of the book shelf. Chelsea's lips are so red it appears she has on lipstick.

And now …. Far far away they bloom.

Gee, had I known it was going to be this emotional to see them take their first steps away, I would have raised them in the closet and kept the key in my pocket.

And now, twenty-three years later I understand how hard it must have been for my parents to have said good-bye when I married and moved to France.

Care to share a memory when you first left home?

________________________________________________

(P.S. Thank you for the many wishes and lovely thoughts you left yesterday and the day before in the comment section, regarding Yann's proposal and your fortune cookie wishes to Chelsea.

You are the reason I blog. Your being here reading my blog, your comments, emails, and FACEBOOK messages, encourage me everyday to continue.

I appreciate the community gathered here on Tongue in Cheek. Your comments add so much to the blog, and inspire many as they do me. In fact your comments are like mini blog posts and I for one love them.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 

Thank you! )

 

Comments

51 responses to “Far far away the Seeds Fly”

  1. Nancy W

    Steady as she goes “Mom”. Deep breaths now. You’re doing fine. How beautiful your children are…both outside and in.

    Reply
  2. christine

    Happy anniversary!
    Your daughter is such a beautiful woman. Great to have Skype/internet so you can stay in touch with Chelsey without waiting for regular mail.

    Reply
  3. Jackie

    My son Jack, who was adopted at age 14-a short 7 years ago-is now getting ready to move to Washington DC for college. I feel like he just got here and now he’s leaving…I keep telling myself our life/our relationship, my mothering and his “son-ing” will still go on, it will simple be at a distance…
    jackie
    bliss farm antiques

    Reply
  4. Jeanne

    Lovely indeed.
    Blessings to you all.
    Life is a series of new beginnings
    God bless you all real good
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  5. katiebell

    Your children are beautiful… my son had lips nearly as red when he was little.
    I still haven’t left home!
    Sending you love to ease the pain of feeling them half a world away,.. dont forget you have surely been waiting all these for more time with your gorgeous man! Enjoy him, he’s your King cake (sorry Yann!) But have fun.
    Trust. They will be fine! 😉

    Reply
  6. Merisi, Vienna

    So glad to read that you received news from Chelsea!
    It will be such an exciting time for her and pass so quickly, you’ll see.
    I had a really good laugh looking at the surprise pictures – what a lovely bunch, that gang of yours!

    Reply
  7. splendid

    Dear Corey,
    After having my two older dolls home for the holidays they are officially back to school now. I had a very difficult time saying goodbye to my oldest; she is a resident assistant and in charge of 30 freshman this year, hearing her stories of taking care and guiding these young women made me realize how grown up she really is! It surprises me to think at her age i was newly married and so full of wonder. Having children and being in their lives now as young adults is the greatest experience of my life. I am so happy that you and Chelsea are able to communicate easily~ it makes it so much easier when they are away!
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    Reply
  8. Linda C.

    I loved the beauty that I had been searching for and found. To travel was what I wanted to do and had been saving for since I was 10.
    But, Chelsea is lucky…you have given her such a solid foundation in a happy and secure upbringing that she is travelling with two feet on the ground. Myself, I was running away, so I tread lightly and made many, many mistakes.

    Reply
  9. Rhonda P.

    Oh, that picture of them as young children is too beautiful. You captured so much in that photo.
    I love hearing Chelsea stories, too. You blog has so many doors to open.
    My memory of leaving my parents was so sweet. My Father asking me not to get my own apartment, stay home and save money. I love him so much, he is amazing.

    Reply
  10. Bev

    I remember that my parents loaned me money to buy my first car and having graduated from college, I left SW Washington State and headed down I-5 towards my first job in Carmel, CA. This was before cell phones or anything like that! It was so exciting!

    Reply
  11. pattyg

    Yes, it was a big, big change. My father had passed away 9 months earlier and my Mom and I were still in a fog. Moving from California to Hawaii for college with a good friend was the change I needed, but it terribly difficult to leave my Mom home alone. Fortunately she new it was the best thing for me and was supportive. Eventually her live moved on too with some new beginnings that were helpful.

    Reply
  12. Linda

    Thank YOU for blogging. Your words and pictures are beautiful.
    Mother Nature is kind in the end. Kind for parents to witness new life for their children. the best gift of all.
    Linda

    Reply
  13. Penny

    My first time from home was when my folks dropped me off at college. It was only 130 miles away, but, you see, I wasn’t even allowed to go overnights, so, this was a big deal – for me and for them. I knew I needed to be on my own away from home, they realized it was the right thing, and, away I went. I’m sure my mom cried all the way home. Unfortunately, just as I was growing my wings, my dad passed away, quickly, from lung cancer. Six months after leaving home, I was really thrown into adulthood. Scary, but, the seeds were already planted and I made it through.
    I thought about my going away, and my parents, every mile of the some 400 when we dropped our younger daughter at college later in my life.
    This is what I know. Painful as it is, we have to let our children find their own paths. Even stranger, as we do so, we continue to find our own.

    Reply
  14. Debra

    You children are so beautiful, good to know that she is there safe and sound.

    Reply
  15. Everton Terrace

    I love her descriptions. Obviously she has her mother’s talented eye for seeing and hand for expressing. Not just – big streets with lots of police, no, so much more. Lovely. I remember driving away to the airport after taking my daughter to New Orleans for her freshman year of college, I cried most of the way home. Now she is in law school in Seattle but has said when she’s finished she thinks she’d like to come back to Phoenix to live – my heart sings.

    Reply
  16. Allison

    I didn’t go far when I flew my nest, only to the next town. But I remember Mom coming in my room and me saying “we got the apartment!” She glanced around my room, which was already half packed. She quickly left. Dad returned to say “Your mother is having a hard time with this so be nice to her.” It never occurred to me she would be upset about me moving out!
    Our oldest child, a daughter, left Alabama for college in San Francisco. That’s a long, long way. She and her dad/my husband went on their second trip there to find an apartment. First trip had been to check out FIDM and AAU. I stayed home both times with our other two children. But when the time came for her to move, she and I flew out together. Only taking what we could get in our suitcases. The mattress was delivered the next morning and we spent the next week learning our way around San Francisco and shopping without a car.
    She has been there 8 years now, and considers California home. Somehow we didn’t believe the 10 year that constantly said “when I grow up, I’m going to live in California.” I’ve cried every time I’ve said good-bye and again upon take off. And now. It doesn’t get easier.
    Allison
    Atticmag

    Reply
  17. Amy Kortuem

    I’ve just caught up reading your posts from the weekend (I was out of commission with a migraine for a few days…)
    LOVELY. Heart-wrenching and so touching and absolutely beautiful.

    Reply
  18. Sharon, Morrison Mercantile

    No, thank you Corey for your daily visions of life. Even though you are a million miles away from Kansas USA, your emotions about life, family, smells, food, etc…are the same as ours. Our goodbyes to our children are all the same…hard.
    I know of no one who isn’t struggling with the heart strings, no matter how old our children are, and I am speaking from a now experience.
    God Bless Chelsea and Sacha in their journey to the next step.
    loving you, Sharon

    Reply
  19. martina

    I moved to my own apartment six months before Mom said she’d “kick me out”. She knew I needed to be more independent. Two years later I was mailing letters, looking for work in Australia. The job offers never came, but I still wonder what would life be like if they had.

    Reply
  20. pinar

    I was 23 when I finished the med school and went for an obligatory service to the rural anatolian parts of turkey..
    my mom wanted to come with me but I refused it.. I had to grow up..
    when I came back after two years and a half the corner of the sofa where she sat .. every night.. when she had bad dreams or when she had bad thoughts.. was sunken .. I entered the room and said out loud .. what happened to the sofa.. my father answered..
    your mum sat on this corner..
    =)
    she was a smallish lady.. she had to sit for long periods to be able to push these coils in the sofa..
    now my son is moving to an apartment but still in Istanbul.. and I try to shut up and let him go..
    I need a sofa to sit on..
    I wish your daughter.. lives a great life.. and shares always with you .. I wish the best to you and your family..
    May God give you the patence for the longing
    love

    Reply
  21. Jill

    I know just how you feel. My son is in Germany and my daughter and son-in-law and grandsons are in Guam. It’s hard enough when it’s just your children far far away, but I have to tell you it’s even worse when there are grandchildren involved! ::Jill

    Reply
  22. Jillayne

    I love your blog Corey – the stories you tell, the way you tell them. I love how you love your family and they love you; it’s uplifting to come here and read your words.
    I’m so glad Chelsea made it safe and sound, and interesting to hear her observations so far. I expect she will find it’s as if China is on a different planet than France!
    I left home at 18, rented a small house in the downtown of Whitehorse, Yukon. My Dad and I had lived in our family home about 6 miles away; he and my Mom divorced when I was 13, and dad and I were the only ones left in the family home. When I left, he went to work at midnight (he did shift work) and when he got off at 8:00 am he went and rented an apartment and never went back – the house was eventually sold, but my brothers and I emptied it.

    Reply
  23. Paulita

    The only thing harder than watching them fly away would be having them stay and not bloom, I think. (Sorry for the mixed metaphor) I wrote today, just a little image, of walking with my son, realizing he has turned into a man. I’m so proud, yet fearful to watch as the second one prepares to take flight too. Thanks for sharing your stories.

    Reply
  24. Marilyn

    I see so much love in these pictures. You have certainly given your children a good foundation to feel safe to leave.
    I am trying to remember first leaving home, it was so long ago. The first times were to summer camp, then for summers in high school to visit cousins (much as Sacha is doing), then away to college, and finally when I married. What comes to mind is sunshine. The warmth of the glow of new adventures. Then knowing my mom was home praying for me constantly.

    Reply
  25. Lorrie

    When I was 24 and pregnant with our first child, my husband and I left our hometown to work in Ecuador. I will never forget the pain of driving away from my parents’ home – they stood in the driveway, the tears running down their cheeks matched those running down mine.
    Now that my children are grown and we have a 3 week old granddaughter, I am in awe of my parents’ strength and willingness to let us fly away.
    But they knew, like you know, Corey, that the bonds that tie you and your children together cannot be broken. Love circles the globe.

    Reply
  26. carol

    I married and moved from Alabama to Ohio. I could see the sadness in my father’s face. I asked him not to cry on my wedding day and he kept his promise. Pictures of us on my wedding day, Daddy with his pasted on smile. I am only 4.5 hours away from him now. It is still too far.
    Your blog inspires and lifts me up, Corey. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us.

    Reply
  27. Jenna

    Look at her face in the second photo, she’s coming home as soon as she can, don’t worry. LOL, Asia is a bit like a video game, crowded and fun. Try the unfamiliar veggies, Chelsea, you’ll be sorry later if you don’t.
    The beauty of children who care each other, I love the way his little head is resting on her shoulder.
    When I first left home, it was for school. I missed home. But there are so many things to learn and do, it eased it all along, as it does for most young adults.

    Reply
  28. Chris Wittmann

    I left for England by sea 3 days after I was married to my English husband. I have photos of me standing with my father, taken by my new husband, just before we drove off for the docks in New York, the U-Haul van loaded with all my worldly possesions. I look at the pain on both our faces, and my sister and mother standing in the doorway of the house, and I understand now the terrible sadness we all felt, especially my dad. I don’t think anyone can fully understand that pain unless they experience it themselves.

    Reply
  29. Shelley Noble

    So touching, Corey, to see her grown up and then so young as well. We can feel the change with you.

    Reply
  30. Mmd. Tortoise

    Yes, both cihldren are gone and the nest is empty but it is you who has given them the courage and filled them with a stong sense of wonder that allows them to go forward to their future and what it holds for them. I know it must be painful for both of you but take a minute to reflect upon a job well done and let their love fill your hearts. It is something I see captured in the many photos you have shared with us. It is very obvious they love you alot. I hope this helps a bit.

    Reply
  31. Star

    I’m so glad you’ve heard from Chelsea; she sounds so excited to discover this new place. I’m sure SF was exciting, but she’s been to the USA before and China is an entirely different culture. It will be fun to hear from her if she allows you to share more. (Fun to see Mr. E again.)

    Reply
  32. LaurieSF

    You allow me to dream in french, everyday..
    Thank you!

    Reply
  33. Victoria Ramos

    My nest is sooo empty. Darling daughter went back after winter break to college. It is her sophomore year and every time she goes back it seems the split is harder for me after she leaves…..miss her terribly. She is the best daughter EVER, never a problem always a joy. The void is deep. Miss the smile and sound of her voice.
    I am right there with you Corey!

    Reply
  34. Lora

    Cory, You will soon be filling your nest up with grandchildren – which is so – so – so fun!!!! That pix of Chelsea and Sacha is beautiful – you were a good photographer even then….

    Reply
  35. Sara

    After my parents said goodbye to me at my college dorm, I promptly drove off to my boyfriend’s house (who lived 30 minutes from my university). He met me in the street outside and we walked up to each other and hugged. It was freedom! I’ll never forget it.
    Corey–my kids are only 2 and 6, yet I already want to never let them leave home! I feel for you. But looking at the fun photos you take of them, I can see your bonds are very strong!

    Reply
  36. sue

    How touching! She has had her mother as an excellent example of how to spread her wings and experience life to its fullest, now, hasn’t she!? She’s learned from you and no doubt you will from her as well. She’s beautiful, and I see you in her…what an adventure she’s embarking upon.

    Reply
  37. Ann

    When I moved out to go to college in another state, tears and more tears made me almost stay. Mom quiet while Dad gave me a litany of advice: 1) don’t answer the door unless you know who is there, 2) don’t spend all your money on clothes….. I should have written down all the advice. I look back now and wish I had made a bigger effort to stay closer to home. This became apparent when my dad became ill and passed away 2 yrs ago. I question my decisions and how it would have been different. How life isn’t only about my career but about quality of life with our loved ones. I think it’s great that we have a global mindset, but I have to say….there is no place like home…the unconditional love, the wonderful sharing of meals, the total support one receives….why does this have to be sacrificed for a career? I can’t roll back the clock but decisions were made and in the back of my mind I now would consider moving closer to mom. I wish I knew then what now I know and value.

    Reply
  38. Amylia Grace

    When I first studied abroad at the tender young age of 15 (to Germany from the US), my parents cried and were happy for me, but sad for themselves. My identical twin sister said it was like having a phantom limb. My friends missed me. When I came back, I was not the same. Not even almost. But no one around me could understand it–except the other students on my exchange program–and it made for a sort of lonely existence that I still feel to this day–a sort of no-man’s land between worlds–between cultures–not 100% home in America, but never quite being able to go native whether in Germany or Norway or India or China or Taiwan–not even Canada–all places I have lived. In fact, when I moved from WI to Maine I even felt that way–I was not a born Mainer–and never would be–though I loved it so I was always viewing it sorta from the outside–that is where my camera came in–much like you, Corey, I took my camera nearly everywhere and photographed the landscapes, people and life around me. It shielded me a bit and also kept me invested but at a slight distance–something that helped me avoid feeling sad that I never quite was able to belong.
    ((hugs))

    Reply
  39. Jo

    Beautiful post and pictures. Such insight!
    Although I left home nearly 40 years ago, against my parent’s wishes ~ quite sad at the time ~ and have lived hither and yon, my heart is still at home with Mother and Dad. I absolutely adore them and love the time we spend together four or five times a year.
    It has been challenging to let my children fly the coop. But they left the nest…sweet little blue birds of happiness they were…spreading their wings and taking flight. I miss them terribly, and don’t see them often enough. But I know they are well and happy and making their way in the world.

    Reply
  40. Elaine L.

    My husband was recently in China and loved it.
    There are few Chinese who speak English. If one takes a taxi it is important to have the address (in Chinese) of the place you are going. The taxi drivers don’t speak English and do not always know the destination to places and will need to call in for directions.
    ~elaine~

    Reply
  41. jend’isère

    Yesterday, as I entered the building adjacent to the torn-down hospital where my son was born, a new doctor informed me that the doctor who had followed my pregnancy recently died. It was the very day of my son’s French name day and the week of his birthday, I decided then and there that he is now old enough for me to focus more on me, myself.
    Hours later I found myself comforting my son while cleaning his bed throughout the night due to his sudden illness. Still a dream, though a sleepless night!
    Finding the timing of separation is never sure, especially for eternal bonds with our children.

    Reply
  42. Shelley@thiswhiteshed.blogspot.com

    You’ve clearly done a beautiful job. Lovely daughter. I especially like the photo of her shyly looking over her shoulder at her beau.

    Reply
  43. Brenda

    Dearest Corey, I will be praying for you in France and your daughter in China! Thank goodness for email! Perhaps it will help you to start a new project right now!
    There is a 10 year difference between my sister and I. I was the “caboose” in my family, left for a weekend on my own at graduation on a camping trip. I returned to tell my parents that I will be traveling alot! Just that tortured them!

    Reply
  44. Kiki

    Corey; my heart is bleeding for you and I am also very joyful – no, it’s no contradiction, it’s called normal relationship!
    I left home very young, first to rent a room with a shared kitchen, toilet & bath with – I think – 7 other parties, in the heart of Zurich, 2 weeks after passing my exams. I was hardly 18yrs old. With 21 I left for Canada, but came back after 18 months…. My son never wants to go anywhere; he is happy where he is. With my Hero Husband I am living here and there, travelling often – and I love coming back home, even after a Christmas break at home in Switzerland. Not everybody LOVES studying or living abroad, not everybody appreciates those often weird experiences you make but nobody I know ever regretted being away for a length of time. You DO come back changed, very changed…. and often the ‘new’ person is even better in so many ways than the kind, dear and lovely person who left! May that be again and again a comfort to you… God bless you all, and especially your children!

    Reply
  45. Andrea

    I am so sad for you. Happy-sad. That’s what my daughter, Grace calls it. Happy-sad.
    I left home at the age of seven, along with my three siblings. My father had left my mother (and us) some time before that and she was unable to cope.
    We were driven away in a Chicago police car, our few belongings in paper bags at our feet. My brothers were taken to one foster home and my sister and I to another.
    I think I left my heart on the floor of that police car.
    I have a daughter who is now seven and every day I try to imagine my life without her. I cannot. My life began the day she was born. I know some day she must leave and I try not to hold on too tight but I cherish every moment, every bedtime, every morning she comes downstairs with that CRAZY hair.
    I have been reading your blog with some trepidation. I know some day I, too, will have to say goodbye to my daughter, my breath, my heart…and I cry.
    I cannot imagine the pain my mother endured watching us leave. At least you know you lovingly walked Chelsea and Sacha over the path and guided them to where they needed to be in order to depart of their own accord. You bought the ticket but they are the ones who need to board the plane. They are strong and self assured thanks to your love and determination.
    I want the same for Gracie…

    Reply
  46. Zosia

    It’s hard letting go, although these days it’s a bit easier. We have Skype, facebook, digital photos that we can send instantly.
    I first left home (in Poland) for a six months stay in Scotland with relatives, whom I never met before, when I was 18. At that time Poland was still a comunist country and it was my first trip to the west. It was a big deal to travel from Poland to Western Europe in 1984. Poland was still reeling from the martial law and it was difficult to obtain a passport. An official invitation from a relative made a trip possible.
    Arrving in Heathrow, was like transitioning from a black and white film to Technicolor and I don’t only mean the difference between grayness and drabness of daily life in communism versus colourful indulgence of capitalism. My relative’s invitation gave me an opportunity to see the world with possibilities where people can plan for the future, because they are not restricted in their thoughts and actions and where they have many opportunities.
    A few years later I had an oppotunity to go to Canada. As it sometimes happens in a foreign country (doesn’t it Corey?), I fell in love, got married, had a daugher and despite the fact that my marriage lasted only 11 years, I stayed in Canada for 22 years. However, I am now moving back to Poland (in about a month) as it became harder and harder to be so far away from my big family in the old country. I missed too many birthdays, weddings and new babies being born.
    Since moving back after so many years is almost like moving to a new country (especially that Poland has changed so much, for the better, since the fall of communism), I decided to write about this experience. I remember when I first came to Canada I could see many new or different things so clearly. With time, I got used to the customs, the way of life, the daily nuances that make Canada different from Poland and I don’t notice them any more. I don’t want this to happen again. That’s why I started keep a blog journal of my adventure of rediscovering my home country. Please stop by if you feel so inclined.

    Reply
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    Reply
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