Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Tender Happiness

 
  Sacha float

 

I spoke with Sacha yesterday, he is nine hours behind us. He told me that he is going to be the school mascot. And that he went to the Winter Ball. I asked him, was there anything I could send him? He replied, "Yeah, could you stuff our home and village in a box, and send it to me? And Annie's stuffed grape leaves too?"

 

 

 

(Photo: Sacha dressed as Santa's Elf, on the senior class float.)

 

 

 

Earlier in the day I spoke with Chelsea, who is eight hours ahead of us. She said, "It is so cold the river froze over, I am frozen over too. A group of us went to Guilin, the ricefields and landscape was beautiful!"

 Lucky duck! I told her to buy insulated socks, warmer gloves and snow boots. She has a hat. Chelsea sighed, "I am terrible at shopping. You know mom you're my personal shopper.…for life."

Words spoken by my children such as these make me happy. Simple thoughts, that speak volumes, that they are okay… but also that they are thinking of us.


Grandoise sweeping praise repeated over and over has less impact.

But one word, or a few spoken words, go in deep.

A compliment that doesn't mean to be a compliment, words just spoken that feel like hugs and kisses that make one feel soft inside. Tender happiness.

 

Dad dream Last night I had a dream about my father, he has been away for two years and nine months.

He was sitting in his favorite chair back home, I walked in and saw him. He looked up at me, and instantly I knew I was dreaming…I said to myself, "Do not wake up, focus on his face."

He looked right at me and smiled, "Corey you are doing very well, I am so proud of you."

I told him, "Thank you, I am." Then I walked slowly towards him, I wanted to hug him… But I woke up.

 

Have you had anyone say something to you recently, that made you happy inside?

Comments

63 responses to “Tender Happiness”

  1. Everton Terrace

    I can’t believe it’s been 2 years. That was a beautiful visit you had from him, beautiful.
    My daughter is flying home for spring break and bringing friends. She told us her friends are looking forward to meeting us because they think we must be rock stars as she talks about us all the time. Warmed my heart even though they will be sadly sadly disappointed:)

    Reply
  2. pauline

    What a beautiful post about love and family and connection. You spent years building the bridges that these words and gestures can now travel over. Isn’t it wonderful that the love you give out comes back to you a thousandfold?

    Reply
  3. Jeanne

    I love this posting so very much
    Love the updates about your children and dreams of your Father
    Lovely lovely sentiments.
    Rabbit Rabbit in this year of the rabbit
    I love you
    Jeanne

    Reply
  4. Karen@PasGrand-Chose

    How wonderful to feel these warm, loving, strong connections over distances of time and space and even to other planes of existence! That is an incredibly beautiful photo of Guilin. I really enjoy following Chelsea’s blog – her enthusiasm and sense of adventure is infectious. Both your children having new and different experiences of the world, but still feeling their belonging with you and their home – that really is heart-warming.

    Reply
  5. Jackie

    My son is from the Guilin area, it is a magical looking place. I watched some videos of my kids when they were little and that made me very, very happy. One was Sophia and Luke singing “It’s a Grand Old Flag,” they both look so happy and unfettered. The other video was Sophia explaining how to make a banana sundae. She was about 4 yrs old, and her tiny voice is so sweet.
    jackie
    bliss farm antiques

    Reply
  6. Shelley in SK

    I too, am an empty-nester. What an adjustment it has been this year! I came across this poem yesterday. Hope you enjoy it.
    On Children
    by Kahlil Gibran
    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
    which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them,
    but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children
    as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
    and He bends you with His might
    that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
    so He loves also the bow that is stable.

    Reply
  7. Katiebell

    gave me gooose bumps (skin prickled) …. yes you ARE doing soooo well, on such an amazing transformative way! wow! what a dream.

    Reply
  8. Bev

    My daughter wants to come home this week-end from university because she misses “my food.” That warms my heart!

    Reply
  9. Rhonda P.

    Why yes, someone wrote the most sweetest words on an envelope I recently received….. : )
    Merci Beaucoup.

    Reply
  10. Paulita

    Corey, Your dad knows just what you need to hear. Sometimes being a mom is so hard. No one tells us good job. We just keep fumbling through and hope we help our children reach the other side of the frozen river bank with dry boots.

    Reply
  11. gail

    I have visits from my Dad in my dreams, too. I always know it’s a dream and relish being with him for those few minutes. My Dad has been gone for 22 years!

    Reply
  12. Allison

    I love the poem Shelley posted.
    Our youngest and her husband came over to visit me in December. The minute I saw them, I knew what they were here to say. The smile and excitement was hard to hide – but I wanted to hear the words from them. I smiled so hard the rest of the day, literally went to sleep with a smile on my face – smiled so much my face hurt! We will welcome our first grandbaby three days shy of their first anniversary. “Happy inside” doesn’t even come close to describing!
    Allison

    Reply
  13. Penny

    We never stop missing our parents when they pass. It is so warm and lovely when they visit us in our dreams.
    Our younger daughter called last week, wanting help with a recipe of an old family dish. I walked her through it. She emailed me this weekend to tell me how well it turned out – but, it wasn’t as good as mine, yet! ha! It will be, and better. Music to my ears.

    Reply
  14. LIz

    Just being present, witnessing each other’s lives is what I treasure in my family and friends, neighbors. My husband died six months before your Dad. When I dream about him, I also try to stay focused and not wake up. Last week in my dream, he had dreadlocks!

    Reply
  15. Brother Mathew

    Sacha is dressed as Peter Pan as it was Disney Day on campus.

    Reply
  16. lindamarcov

    Ludmil woke early this morning, a very very rare thing… I heard him, got out of my warm bed and said what are you doing, he smiled, took me in his arms and said,”getting my bags packed for France,of course” His way of endorsing my dream… plans… putting it in motion. I love that man and his simple statements.

    Reply
  17. Becky F

    My father-in-law, a beloved man, died on December 26th. In May he suffered a stroke following an elective surgery. He recovered from the stroke, but his demise was a result from the 2 decubitus (bedsores) on his heels that developed while at the hospital. It’s a very long story. On the 26th of January, one month after his death, I had a dream. We were all gathered around and looking at his heels. They were pink, beautiful, whole, perfect! I never saw his face and he never spoke to us. I have to believe that it was his way of telling us that he is whole and perfect in heaven. It has helped ease the heaviness from my heart.
    Thank you Corey for your beautiful blog. Becky

    Reply
  18. Cheryl ~ Casual Cottage Chic

    “Thanks for the great dinner mom”, said Michael after wolfing down pot roast, mashed potatoes, green beans and fresh bread. Simple “thank you’s” from my son are just THE BEST!

    Reply
  19. Tongue in Cheek

    Oops, Peter Pan,
    on the senior float.
    Disney Day?
    Thank you for the correction Donald Duck.

    Reply
  20. Diane

    My dearest Mom just passed away this last Saturday, and one of the last things she said to me was, “You are a marvelous daughter.” That made me very, very happy.
    Your stories of your father’s long illness and death were a great comfort to me this weekend, Corey. Thank you. Loving deeply makes loss hard, but it is a clean and beautiful hard. I am grateful.
    Diane

    Reply
  21. Star

    Thank you for the update on your children, Corey. They are so capable, but it’s nice to know that they still need you.
    My husband and I do not have children, so my best friend’s two girls have always been my close-as-I’ll-get children. I’ve always been closest to K, while S has more in common with her auntie. This past Christmas, we had the pleasure of spending all of Christmas Day with their family. As evening set in and everyone but our two families went home, I found myself on the sofa with one of my girls on each side. I was in heaven! As we snuggled together there, S put her head on my shoulder and said “Star, I’m so glad you’re here”. It melted my heart.
    S graduates from high school and K from college in May, and K is very recently engaged and planning a July wedding before her intended returns to school for an extended degree. Time moves on, but I’ll always remember those few words that expressed the feelings of S’s heart.

    Reply
  22. Marie-Noëlle

    So you’re in middle of “ahead” and “behind” …. somewhere with your dreams…
    Great post !

    Reply
  23. Jean(ne) P in MN

    Shelly’s poem is perfect, thank you. My sweet French husband died 14 yrs ago, and I just came across something he had written in fun and placed in a book. What a big, sad smile I had all day. Love remains.

    Reply
  24. Sharon Penney-Morrison

    I was dreaming about my Mother 9 years ago. She had passed away in 1989. I had never dreamed about her as our relationship was never a soft one. She worked hard in her life and was not given to forgiving past heartaches by my Father. She loved me, but was very guarded in her approval or affection.
    Anyway..the night I dreamed about her, I was walking toward her and she hugged me and held me and told me, everything would be ok. I woke up to a loud crash..I thought it was the cat jumping off of something.
    My husband had fell, after suffering a deadly heart attack.
    I do believe our loved ones speak to us in times of
    great changes. I think it is wonderful that your Father spoke to you with praise to reassure you that you are on the right path.
    hugs…Sharon

    Reply
  25. Amy Kortuem

    Oh, don’t you love those dreams? Once in a while I get to visit with my Grandma, who’s been gone since 1997. It’s always good to see her.
    Last Sunday I played my harp for a church in a neighboring town. It was -16 Fahrenheit that morning. I just got an email from someone telling me that my music warmed up the day for her.
    THAT warmed me up!

    Reply
  26. Irina

    I know what you mean, Corey. I’m the happiest when a ‘compliment’ comes from my 20 y.o. Recently he went to a Ukrainian restaurant here in HK with some russian speaking young people who study in hong kong. when I asked him how was the food he said that my cooking is much much better and I should open a restaurant. It was enough to make me shine like a sun 🙂

    Reply
  27. martina

    I still have dreams with my Dad in them. He passed away 25 years ago.
    The other day a friend saw some of my current craft projects. She said “The projects look great. You are so artistic and creative”. That really made me feel good.

    Reply
  28. Brenda L from TN

    I started picking my 2 grandchildren up after school 5-6 yrs ago after I retired from work. The other day my now 13 yr old grandson said, “Nana, when you started picking us up after school when I was little I thought you were somehow my aunt. You didn’t look like a grandmother so you had to be an aunt.” (his other grandmother is 15 yrs older than me and it confused him as to who I was)…I thought it was a sweet thing to tell me…(and his other grandmother is a lovely person…she and I get along very well).

    Reply
  29. Tongue in Cheek

    Speechless.

    Reply
  30. Elizabeth

    I dreamt once about my grandfather shortly after he died in 2003. He was sitting on the porch of a house I knew I couldn’t go into, waiting for me. We didn’t speak but I looked at his face and all I saw was love and that was enough.

    Reply
  31. Kathie B

    In a short story I translated a couple months ago, the author wrote that the main character “dreamed that he was dreaming” — lovely turn of phrase.
    My father died nearly 15 years ago, yet I still recall him vividly, and (since I can’t actually ask him for advice any more) I sometimes ask myself what he would want me to do in certain situations.

    Reply
  32. Linda H

    Heartfelt post and comments. Dream visits are most beautiful. I’ve had them from a long lost love. Actually, today makes 35 years.
    Simple comments from my son are the best compliments. He’s 18 now, and our humble home is the gathering spot for his friends. As he returned from taking one of his friends home last night during an ice storm, he said he was glad he was coming home to me, that he has the mom he has and not someone else. Melted the ice on my doorstep!

    Reply
  33. Jenna

    What a wonderful dream, he’s hugging you. Sacha has your smile and Chelsea has your style.
    I hear things that make me happy all the time!

    Reply
  34. Paula S In New Mexico

    Yes, my son……and now I’m going to pause for a little cry.

    Reply
  35. LaurieSF

    It was Easter and my husband’s (boyfriend at the time) first trip to Willows. We attended mass on Sunday morning and wouldn’t you guess it…a familiar face in the pew next to mine. With a girlish giggle..I tapped his shoulder…as it had been nearly twenty years. Your Dad turned around, fresh faced, smiling and boisterous as ever. Before I could make the introductions. He reached out, shook my husband’s hand and said “Hi, I’m George. Nice to meet you!” Your Mom sat to his left..radiant as ever.

    Reply
  36. Jeanne

    Love seeing pictures of Sacha and Chelsea.
    My parents died as the result of a car accident over 40 years ago. We were living on opposite coasts and most of our conversations were on the phone. Many years passed before I didn’t automatically literally go to the phone and start to dial their number when I just wanted to tell them something. It’s the little things that are so worth sharing and mean so much more when shared with someone you love. Thank you for sharing your family stories.

    Reply
  37. Carolyn

    No, I speak to the air around here and hear nothing in return. Then I read your blog and dream.

    Reply
  38. Birdbrain

    Thanks, Mat for that correction. With Snow White and Tinkerbelle in the background, it had to be Peter Pan! Send Chelsea long underwear and any other warm clothes she left at home. Veronica Wong (my friend Jann’s daughter in Beijing) says everyone tells her to eat “hot pot” to stay warm. Have no idea what hot pot is- soup?

    Reply
  39. Cathy J.

    One of my co-worker told be he noticed how I treated everyone here at the Agency equally (from the housekeeper to the Director). I told him I learned it my my favroite teacher, my mom!

    Reply
  40. Jenny N

    Wow. Corey I thank you for what you share and then I know I want to read the comments to your posts because you have awesome readers who also share such heartfelt thoughts. I appreciate the community here. Just the other day my 4yo found me putting on my makeup before we headed out for the day(when I am “at home” as a stay at home mom I don’t wear a lick of makeup)and asked me why I had to put make up on?…I answered “to make myself look better” and she said so sweetly, “mommy you look pretty all the time”. man, she gets me all the time.

    Reply
  41. Victoria Ramos

    I have been dreaming alot lately — of my dear mother who passed away 27 years ago — strange. My dad died when I was 12 – I was the oldest of 5 girls ages 12 – 5. We had a very tough life after my dad died, but my mom was always great no matter what…she was the best. She died when I was in my 20s, she was only 52….they come to me often in my dreams.
    …..xxxoooxxx

    Reply
  42. Stubblejumpin’ Gal (Kate)

    OMG, those kinds of dreams just KILL me … you’re just about to take your loved one in your arms … you haven’t seen him for more than two years … and you Wake Up!
    Or the wild deer you’ve come across in the meadow is about to touch you with its nose … and you Wake Up!
    Beautiful dream though Corey.
    xoxox

    Reply
  43. Sara

    Such a heartwarming post–I’m happy for you, Corey.
    My little boy likes to whisper “I love you, Mommy,” in my ear, and my daughter tells me I am the “best mama”. Both warm my heart SO much! Thanks for asking…

    Reply
  44. Kimberly

    A few months ago I was having quite a few trials. One day I was especially down and a mature friend of mine simply said, “you have such good boys.” The comment was out of nowhere and had nothing to do with what we were talking about. I guess she knew that one sentence would stop me in my tracks and ground me for a good cry which is just what I needed. Corey your post are a bright spot in my day. Thank you and many blessings! Kimberly

    Reply
  45. patty g

    Most wonderful of children and your father. My husband also drives a truck and this particular picture of your dad driving his truck speaks a thousand words.

    Reply
  46. Gretchen Baldauf

    One of my youngest students told me today that I looked beautiful! How sweet! (I’m not but I was dressed up a bit more than usual and she noticed!)

    Reply
  47. missy

    your words,Corey…..”just focus on his face”…..when I am blessed with my next
    mail-from-heaven (dream)…from my husband
    I will remember your words….
    thank you for the many ‘smiling’ words you
    given so freely.
    Missy from the bayou

    Reply
  48. momof5

    My daughter said, “I’m in college and I still love to talk to you on the phone, what’s up with that?” A co worker accompanied me on a home visit this week and told me later she admired my ability to communicate with the family and found it “inspirational”. I find all the comments here inspirational as well.

    Reply
  49. Zosia

    What a good day you had.
    My other half flew in on January 23rd from Warsaw. When we kissed at the airport, I said “I am so happy you are finally here” and he said “and this is how it’s going to be from now on”. We’ve been in a long distance relationship for the past 5 years, going back and forth between Toronto and Warsaw. He flew in to help me pack and we will be going to Poland in a few days together.

    Reply
  50. Brenda

    It has been about 6 months since I have seen a precious girl, married with children, an adorable husband, but of course, life is bumpy! She insisted on seeing me, and when I arrived , was sat down, with cup of coffee in hand, as she began to tell me of a dilemma. She told me my visit was timely, and that she remembered something I said 4 years ago. She said she just knew this was coming true now. She remembered an edifying statement, “You will someday change peoples lives for the good!”
    She had just been contacted by a daughter she had given up for adoption 13 years ago. To have remembered my statement from so long ago and for her to have applied it to these circumstances just blessed my heart in ways no words can describe!

    Reply
  51. Linda

    I had a dream of my favorite aunt after she passed away. She appeared at the age when she was much younger and happier, able to do all of the things she loved. I have heard we are all young in eternity.
    I guess it makes me happy when my grandchildren always love my brownies-and that the French who try them want the recipe. It’s just an old one from my very first cookbook many years ago.

    Reply
  52. Tongue in Cheek

    Happy ever After!!

    Reply
  53. Tongue in Cheek

    You are beautiful. Never doubt it.

    Reply
  54. Cy Todd

    Yes, one of my new girlfriends here in France thanked me for helping her grow in her faith! That meant a lot to me!

    Reply
  55. Kelly

    That reminds me of my mom. I recently moved to France, where my parents are from but live in the States. I’m having guests over for dinner tonight so I emailed my mom to ask her how to make a dish she frequently makes. I’m sure that made her very happy. It didn’t even cross my mind, but the smile she had when I spoke to her on Skype said it all.

    Reply
  56. Judy B. – Texas

    Missy, I just love your statement, “mail-from-heaven (dream)…what a beautiful description! I get mail-from-heaven sometimes, but not frequently enough..but that makes them extra special. Blessings to you…Judy B. Texas

    Reply
  57. Judy B. – Texas

    Corey, thanks for the beautiful, heart-warming post – love it. Want to let you know that you have the only blog of which I read EVERY reader reply…takes some time, but I read every entry. Why…because you awaken emotions in people like no one else. Sometimes I cry; I learn something always; and sometimes I too am moved to post a reply. Thanks to all the readers who share their thoughts. As your Dad said to you, “Corey, you are doing well”.
    We’re all so proud of you.

    Reply
  58. Cherise

    Your kids are beautiful, and clearly reflect their parents. I aspire to be a parent like you!

    Reply
  59. jend’isère

    Aware of their mama’s shortcomings, computer help is offered by my teen and accent assistance by my kindergartener. Wishes are so sincere from them when they note my sufference!

    Reply
  60. Jane Ann

    No wonder your children bring you so much joy. You can tell by their faces that they are happy, contented, and know they are loved. How wonderful it makes a mother feel to see that look on our children’s faces. I feel particularly happy when I have made another happy or feel encouraged.

    Reply
  61. cathi

    What a wonderful dream, Corey!! Children are our true treasures in life! I try to say kind words to people everyday and get it back tenfold. One of my fave compliments was that I had a really nice smile. It just makes me smile all the time now! xxoo 🙂

    Reply
  62. Vickie

    wow… that post brought several lumps to my throat

    Reply
  63. Mary

    Sometimes a word, sometimes a glance, or a smile simply mean much much more than a whole conversation, and touch you deep inside… Glad that your children are happy even far away from you…

    Reply

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