What I Didn’t Expect to Find in The Forbidden City

Chinese restaurant

 

It is a good thing when you travel with people you like and who like to do the same sorts of things.

We like to eat.

Go to markets.

Eat.

Watch people.

Take the back streets.

Eat.

Go to grocery stores.

Eat.

Taste whatever is cooking on the side of the road.

Yes, you might say we are food-oholics.

 

Dumplings china

 

We heard of this restaurant from someone somewhere and than read about it again in a guide book, we thought we might as well give it a try since it was famous for its home made dim sum…

Dim Sum as we learned from Alfredo and Irina meant: "Little pieces of heart".

When we were with Alfredo and Irina in Hong Kong we had our fair share of "Little pieces of heart". We recalled that each bamboo basket had two or three dim sum in each, and that Alfredo ordered several bamboo baskets of dim sum.

 

Beijing dumplings delicious

 

Dumplings and tea china

The menu was in Chinese (of course), Chelsea speaks a bit of Chinese, but reading it is another thing. When the waitress came to our table Chelsea requested dim sum without meat. As she discussed the options I eyed the menu pad… how I would like to have some of those for notepads. Crazy thoughts, but they are the thoughts I have had through China. Those receipt booklets are enviable.

When Chelsea told us she ordered three different types of dim sum, French Husband and I spoke up, "Oh no, that is not enough, dim sum is small and usually there are only two or three in a basket, you should order six or seven different ones."

Chelsea the obedient daughter did not hesitate with our command. The waitress gave us a funny look, stared at our bodies, and offered an eighth one: "Red bean dim sum." By far the best one I might add.

When the baskets came we knew we were going to oink our way home. They were HUGH, eight dim sum per basket! Luscious, heavenly delicious bites of wonder. But there was not way we could eat 64 big chubby pieces of heart!

I felt guilty leaving some behind, though Chelsea told us it is customary not to finish your plate, because that means the cook fed you well, that you did not leave the table hungry. It is the compliment to the cook.

Certainly the cook smiled, and most likely thought, "Happy Piglettes!"

 

Matchaking square

We took out stuffed bodies to the Forbidden City.

Which is across the street from Tiananmen Square.

We bought our entrance tickets and walked in not through the main entrance, but on the side where there was a lovely garden. The impressive buildings with dark orange/reddish walls and layers and layers of tiled roofs pointing up at the ends caught our attention. The ceilings of the covered pathways along the garden were painted with pastoral scenes, gorgeous! Surprising me, considering Chinese art, nor decor ever played on my radar of appreciation.

 

  Matchmaking details

 

As we walked further into the garden I noticed that the people where talking in hushed voices, and saw white pieces of papers on the ground. Around some of the papers people gathered. I stopped, and tried to figure out what was going on… was it a public place to talk politics? Or have philosophical discussions?

I walked up to one of the groups and a silence greeted me. I noticed people eyeing Chelsea, looking at French Husband oddly, there was a curiosity that did not imply with the fact that we were foreigners… something else was at play. It intrigued me.

 

 

Matchmaking ch

 

I asked a tall handsome Chinese man, "Do you speak English?" When he said yes, I asked him to explain to me what was happening, "Are you having political discussions?"

He laughed with his smile, nodded no, then in a whisper of a voice said, "Parents of grown children gather here to find partners for their children."

"Matchmaking!" I beamed and looked around.

"No, no, not really match making. More a place to introduce grown children. Parents worried children find no partner. Parents put piece of paper on the ground, other parents read paper. If there is something interesting parents talk, show picture of grown child, and share phone numbers."

"Really! Do they grown children want their parents to find them a partner?" I quizzed.

"Not usually." He looked down, then added, "But they do not have time, grown children working to hard to have time to meet each other. Parents take active role."

"So if you find someone you think you son or daughter might like you exchange numbers and hopefully your son or daughter might call and meet, right?" I asked.

"Yes, like that." He looked at Chelsea.

The handsome Chinese man later told me that the pieces of papers on the ground told the sex, age, birth date, height, weight of the person, plus what they did for a living.

Most the pieces of papers spoke of highly educated sons and daughters who were in their thirties and older. Obvisiouly, there were more men available then women.

 

 

Must day dream

 

Match making paradise. Well sort of. It made sense to me. I wanted to get right in there and start match making at a fast rate. Not is hush tones, but in hopefully, happy, let's get it on and going… put some musical love in the air.

But what I sensed was this was serious business. Traditional. Caring. Fearful. Holding out hope. Concern. With grown children who want to find someone but do not have the time, and do not want their parents to worry either. It was not a place for curious tourists, nor a match maker's heart like my own, who took the wrong entrance into the Forbidden City.

We walked on with little pieces of dim sum in our hearts.

 

 

Chinese kiss

 

If you are married… how old were you?

I was two weeks shy of thirty, French Husband was twenty-five. Does that mean I am a cougar?

 



Comments

56 responses to “What I Didn’t Expect to Find in The Forbidden City”

  1. I am first! I was 22, my sweetheart was 21. That was 40 years ago! How time flies when you are having fun….love reading about your travels. We spent 25 years in the USAF traveling all over the US and 5 years in Europe to include 6 months in Turkey. I LOVE to travel. best to you!

  2. I was 23 and he was 36 (if I’m remembering right. It’s fun to let the years and ages blur and not remember a before we were together time. Just live and love the now.)

  3. I was two months shy of 26 and my husband was one month shy of 28. We’ve been married almost 22 years now.

  4. I married two weeks after my 41st birthday.
    Dave was just about to turn 32! I am 9 years older than him.
    Yes, I am a cougar!!!!!

  5. splendid

    i was 5 weeks shy of 21 and hubby was 23, that was over 25 years ago. You have truly made me WANT to visit China now!

  6. Nancy from Mass

    I was 4 months shy of 28 and hubby was 5 months shy of 29. (our birthdays are opposite..10/11 and 11/10…isn’t that cute?!) We will be married 17 years this year.
    I don’t think you’re a cougar. love is blind to age anyway.
    Thanks for letting us travel with you. funny how the parents were matchmaking. I have a beautiful korean friend whos’ parents would love to do that for her!

  7. I was 41 and my husband was 44. That was 17 years ago. You and FH were in the right place at the right time. That’s kismet, not cougar.

  8. I was 22, he 28. Sounds perfect! Well it was not.
    Second time round 35 and him 30.
    Much better match.

  9. I was 44 and my husband 45; a first and only marriage for both of us.

  10. Cheryl in California

    I was 18, my husband 21. We’ve been married for almost 28 years. He’s my best friend.

  11. I was 23 and she was 24. We met in a coffee shop in Korea. That was 43 years ago. We love to travel and enjoy your pictures and the stories

  12. I was 21, he was 23. I thought we were mature enough to get married. Little did I know. It has been 44 years now. So looks like it’s going to work.

  13. I like the way you travel. Eat…eat…eat! My kind of folks! My HK friend has told me there are many kinds of dim sum. Even a desert dim sum. I would be in heaven!
    I expect France to have the best deserts imaginable!
    Cougar? You? No way! Have a great evening!

  14. Brenda L from TN

    I was 19 and he had just turned 19…I was 5 months older…we were married 34 years and then I divorced him…we had two sons and now 2 grandkids…he lives in Florida and has seen g’kids MAYBE 6 times in their lives…(17 and 13)…I live in Tennessee and see them all the time…MUCH MUCH better….end of story.
    I am enjoying your trip IMMENSELY!!

  15. I was 28 and he was 37…..together 30 yrs but as almost every love story goes there is heartbreak for one of you before the eternal promise. I am technically a widow now but I prefer to think of my self as just separated for awhile.
    missy from the bayou

  16. I was 21 and my husband was 22. Way too young! 47 years this week. The dim sum looks and sounds so good, I want some now! Thanks for all you have shared.

  17. We were both 21! 5 kids and 28 years later we are still together and happy.

  18. Brother Mathew

    I think you have to be at least 35 to be a cougar.

  19. Weaverbec

    I was 2 months shy of 29, and he was 32. We’ve been together almost 24 years.
    I am really enjoying your travels.

  20. It IS so important to travel with people who like to see, do and eat similar things, but who also surprise you. Sounds like you have been pleasantly surprised (64 dim sum??) and delighted with your trip!

  21. Under thirty-five, just a bobcat.

  22. ChicagoSheila

    He was 21 and I was 22. We will be married 26 years this year…and I would not change a thing!

  23. I was 27 and he was 38. We’ve been married for fifteen years and not once have I noticed an age difference.
    Love is blind..xoxo

  24. Love the picture of Chelsea looking back over her shoulder–what a cutie!
    I was 38 and he was almost 35; 12 years and counting. I guess our parents would have been johnny-on-the-spot with their clipboards if we were in China!

  25. We met when he was almost 19 and I was 23. . . we married when he was almost 22 and I was 26. We’ve been together over half of his life, which is amazing to me. We celebrate 18 years of marriage this May 🙂

  26. Rebecca from the pacific northwest

    I love that outlook, Missy. thanks for sharing it.

  27. Rebecca from the pacific northwest

    Fascinating, all the age ranges for marriages noted here. Lots of parents were probably concerned for us older ones. (We were 31.)
    Husband just turned 60 last week so I have 3 months to get used to the idea myself.

  28. Rebecca from the pacific northwest

    PS. If you’d only gotten 3 kinds of dim sum, you wouldn’t have gotten to taste all the others.

  29. I was 33 and he was 26! We celebrate our 20th anniversary in July. My how time flies. Tank you for sharing that tidbit about matchmaking.

  30. I was 17 and my husband of 39 years was 20. He died 10 years ago… He was my soul mate and love of my life.

  31. I was 20, he was 21. This summer we’ll celebrate 34 years together.
    I love the matchmaking story – and the dim sum. YUM.
    Cougar? or Kitten?

  32. How about a Puma? It sounds more elegant. If I remember the story correctly, you weren’t on the “prowl”, hence no cougar! LOL! I met C at 25, started dating at 27, and married at 34 and he was 40. Does that make him a grizzly bear?

  33. He was 36. I was 21. We were penpals. We exchanged hundreds of letters, packages and long phone calls. I was in Boston. He was in L.A. We knew we were in love. I turned 21 in October. All I wanted for Christmas was to go to L.A. and meet him. He picked me up at the airport. 8 hours later he proposed. A week later, we were married. That was 1995. 🙂
    I love your travel stories!! Thank you!!

  34. I was 26 and he was 21. We have been married 38 years this July and still our love grows deeper. It is a crack-up though to think that he was born when I was in kidnergarten and in junior high when I graduated from high school! The cool thing is that people often guess I am his age or YOUNGER! because that is the norm. I don’t argue, I just smile.

  35. Victoria Ramos

    yes…you were a cougar…FH didn’t know what hit him with your womanly wiles ;-). I am just 3.5 weeks older than my hubby. We married when we were 29, but had been dating since were 23. I was in no hurry to marry. Married in ’86. PS – love dim sum! We haven’t been in awhile, but after your last post, I think we will have to go!

  36. I was 27. My husband was 35. That makes him a cougar or a tiger or something.
    I love your story

  37. We were both 25. Cory I hope you get the chance to brocante at the Panjiayuan Market. There are thousands of venders on the weekends. Also don’t miss the night market for a fun food event.

  38. I was 25, he was 38. We were married in Atlanta, GA, but have spent our entire marriage in Japan. We celebrated 15 years on March 30 – far apart because of the earthquake, but together in our hearts.
    And, I just have to say that Missy’s comment made me bawl! (((hugs)))

  39. I was 24, my husband was almost 24 and it will be 39 years on Friday.

  40. But you LOOK younger, Corey 🙂

  41. We were both 21-way too young looking back on it all.

  42. Marie-Noëlle

    This post is fantastic… I like its way from eating pieces of heart to marriage !
    I was 31, he was 34 !

  43. Elaine L.

    I have been married most of my life. I was 21 and he was almost 27. It will be 38 years in June.
    You know that through history,in the Chinese culture boys were more valued than girls. That’s why when someone adopts from China, it’s always girls. I have a friend who has a daughter that she adopted. Her experience is very interesting.
    ~elaine~

  44. Marie-Noëlle

    Aaahhh …. I love this !
    (Also a funny way for me to learn new vocab !!!)

  45. We lived together for 2 years and got married a month before we turned 29 and 28. 25 years later here we still are with a 17 year old. Met at camp when we were 11 and 12, stayed friends forever until one day we just looked at each other differently and never looked back. You a cougar? Don’t think so, just recognized that spark and a good man when you found one. We are lucky that way!

  46. That last picture, Corey, could starr as the movie poster for “Love in the Forbidden City” – you are an artist, through and through!
    You definitely are not a cougar.I never noticed an “age difference” between you and Yann. Just two kindred souls who have an aura of deep happiness about them, being with you two is like a taste of paradise.
    My husband and I met when I was 25, he 41. I remember sitting in the garden of his Trastevere apartment in Rome, me with a friend who quizzed him about his age and I almost fell off my chair when he answered. He looked so much younger and I had a serious crush on him and then such an age difference, I was so angry with destiny! It’s four kids later now ….. 😉
    I would love to travel to China one day. Your travel stories are so uniquely you (and Yann’s and Chelsea’s). I feel I travel along with you. Thank for that!
    Safe travels,
    M.

  47. There is a “tradition” in my family of women marrying men 5 years or so younger than themselves. Go Cougars!

  48. I was 30 and he was 26, and we’ll be married 6 years in July. I always dated younger men, starting in high school, except once. My parents were SO young when I was born that I never found many older men attractive – even just a few years older was too close to my dad’s age!

  49. I had heard of this Chinese “matchmaking” not too long ago. And tho’ when I was still oh-so-very-single at 28 (I had never had a boyfriend), my family and friends did a similiar thing when my sis spotted a highly eligible, single-dad at her church and introducd herself (she was married), then explained to him that he needed to call her older sister (uh, me) and ask me out. He was so bowled over by the experience he actually asked me out and I said yes to a date days after I turned 29, then a month later said yes to his proposal, then 3 months shy of turning 30 we were married….now, 9 years later, a family of five filled with love and joy. Oh, and you were/are in no way a cougar, goodness gracious.

  50. Oooh, you little cougar you! I was 24, hubby was 28.

  51. Karinka Calhoun

    According to a recent documentary aired in the US on one of the cable channels, a cougar has to be at least 40 and the man at least 8 years younger so by that definition you were not a cougar. If May-December is the euphemism for older man/younger woman or vice-versa, it would seem your union was more July-September, n’est-ce pas?

  52. I was 22 and he was 25….after 5 years of being together it was just fair to get married….and we still are, after almost 27 years!

  53. Corey, I know why you ate so much…it was Chinese food, and everyone KNOWS in an hour you are hungry again! There, no guilt!!!!
    What a lovely, gentle tradition to help your children not spend pieces of life alone. We are so connected, always wanting our children, no matter their age, to be happy. As we grow older we know the value of companionship.
    I met my beloved several years before we were married. Who knew I was a cougar? When we were married I was 47 and he was 39!!!!!!!! This year we celebrate 12 years of adventure in love.
    Thank you for sharing. It is beautiful. My heart is happy in your travels.

  54. I was 29 and he was 43. We have been married 37 years this year and he is now in an assisted living home. I cared for him for 5 years at home but it became too much with is Parkinson’s and Dementia. He loves me and I love him even despite the confusion and separation that we have had to endure. I am now his wife again and his advocate and power of attorney and I feed him his supper each day. The love is challenged but it lives on.

  55. oh Darling, I finally get around to reading the end of your Chinese adventure.
    This made me chuckle in so many ways! The piggish amount of pieces of heart you ate, the wonderful description of Chinese people’s lack of time for the most important singular thing in anybody’s life: Finding the right match to spend that one and only life…. how sad, touching and also quite funny (at least to read!).
    Regarding the age of marriage… 🙂 That would be telling, wouldn’t it?! Anyway, I might tell you one day but you’d need a lot of time because it’s not (only) the age that’s unusual but the circumstances…
    And yes, you were a cougar – :)))) – and I would have told you that you were slightly older…. it just matches (somewhat) my own experience (but only slightly). In England they’d say you were a ‘baby snatcher’ or you were getting yourself a ‘toyboy’… It’s SO funny, those expressions. We don’t seem to have them in Switzerland – maybe women are not often older than their husbands?! No, this is not true, maybe I just never heard those expressions; the ‘cougar’ is new to me too!
    Your writing and your photography are second to none; I am deeply in love with everything you do!
    Thanks for giving me such a wonderful, rich and enchanting time. I only wish to come back to a more regular ‘reading schedule’. I really would like to be more part of your ‘family’!

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