After IBeam what followed: The Story Continues…

Provence weekend

 

Soon after I arrived in France (1987) I knew it was not going to be easy. The beauty of Paris could not outshine the feelings of loss that I felt inside.

I had prepared myself by saying that it was going to take time for me to learn the language,  to know my Belle Family (in laws), to find work, to make new friends… amongst many other things… But I did not take into consideration how difficult it was going to be to adapt to the French culture.

That first morning, as French Husband left for work at seven he kissed me goodbye and said he would be home around nine in the evening. As soon as the door shut I felt alone, and not in the way that I liked.

I looked at my time agenda book as if it could tell me what to do, or who to call. The blank page stared at me. What an odd feeling it was to have time and no where to go and no one to see. I grabbed my orange metro pass, looked in the fridge and made a mental note to pick up a few things for dinner, and stuffed the book (Les Miserables) I was reading, in my purse and walked outside to my new life.

 

Weekend in provence

 

Where does a story begin? 

Is it at the first breath of life, the first movement, or is it the moment one feels someones hand upon their heart? Had I known the first moment of my journey to France would I have followed? If one thing connects to another, and if nothing is left to chance, then I would say the first step of the story would have been when I threw my entire wardrobe from my closet to the bed.

We had known each other a little more than a month, just enough for me to feel him under my skin, and no other man had held that place in two years. But there I was following him in my car behind his car. Driving up and down the streets of San Francisco, crying louder when I saw him reach out to touch her hair. Seeing her in the front seat with him, with her feet on the dashboard. I thought he told me French girls were not as easy-going as American girls?

 

Provence france

Funny how a thought can slip into ones mind and take one away for a second though it feels like an eternity. When I looked back you had turned into a hotel parking lot. I knew I couldn't follow you into the parking lot. Sadly, I drove home knowing you were spending the night with the French girl.

As soon as I returned home I went straight into my bedroom, opened my closet, grabbed my entire wardrobe and threw it on the bed. You see even in my sad state of mind I knew better than to throw my clothes on the floor. My bed was clean, the floor was questionable, I needed something to take my mind off those feet on the dashboard, and drinking was not my thing.

That is the gift of being a clean freak: When life is miserable one still needs things to be in place.

I rearranged my clothes back in my closet: Sleeveless to sleeves, light colors to dark, shirts to dresses… doing so gave me a space of time to think. At the moment I knew my heart was ahead of me. I was in love with someone I barely could talk to. A tall, not so dark, handsome definitely, and to make matters worse, someone who had a girlfriend who came over from France to take him back home with her.

______________________________

 

What was the begining of your romance?



Comments

33 responses to “After IBeam what followed: The Story Continues…”

  1. meredith

    a blind date…
    a day on the beach
    an invitation to dinner
    by the french beach bum with no money
    and when we got to the restaurant
    we almost didn’t get in because
    he didn’t have a shirt either
    the restaurant lent him a shirt
    I lent him the money for dinner
    the rest is history.

  2. It all began at a gym. My daily workout would begin with a run on the 2nd level track for 20 minutes, and he would watch me from the weight area below. I never knew that I had a secret admirer until 6 months later. He was shy and it took him that long to say the first hello 🙂 I thought he was very nice, he made me laugh, but I really didn’t think it would go any further than “just friends” We remained workout buddies for another 3 months before he asked me out. We were married 2 years later and we’ll be celebrating 22 years this year. He still makes me laugh. My only regret is I didn’t keep up with my daily exercise routine. Oh well.

  3. On the most beautiful beach between Rome and Naples. He was new to the country, working at the same place friends of mine did. I was there on the beach with those friends. He annoyed the hell out of me. He had an “Basic Italian” book and asked me help him pronounce Italian words. I’d rather swim! We went back to Rome with my friends, him in the same car. I was the first to be dropped off and he gave me his business card. Not a chance, I thought, I’ll never call you!
    Call him I did. Inviting him to an outdoor concert at Villa Borghese. He at first said he was already busy that evening. Then he called back and said he would be able to come. Now I was in trouble because I had told him that a gaggle of my friends were were coming to the concert and they did not know anything about those plans! I started to call my friends and to make it short, there was exactly a dozen friends and me waiting for “him” at Cafe’ Colombo at Piazza Navona that evening. All fourteen of us went to the concert! It was a classical one, “Moonshine Serenade” by Schumann, among others:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gppb94qCA6g
    I think we were already married when I told him about how my friends had helped me out that evening. He then smiled and said that he had had no plans that evening, but did not want to appear “easy” to get. 😉

  4. He was married, but separated. His ex was living with me while they figured out what to do. I had to go on a pirate party boat for a news story. “Take Earl as your date,” she suggested. And I did.
    The weather in Tampa that day was cold and rainy. He gave me his jacket. He held my hand to keep it warm. He steadied me on the deck and he made me laugh.
    They divorced with the warning that I was “only a flash in the pan.” Now, 21 years of marriage and three kids later, he still keeps me warm in so many ways.

  5. I’d be sad if I didn’t know it had such a happy ending. He was a grad student, a TA, the timing wasn’t right. Four years later, when we met again, it was.

  6. I saw him at the local coffee shop one morning. He was soooo cute. He was sitting with someone I knew, but didn’t know well. I watched him. He had a nice SUV with “NEWS PHOTOG 24” as the license plate. Intriguing. I went up to the table (after he left) and said to the person he had been sitting with, “I was going to come over and say Hi, but I couldn’t remember the name of the guy you were sitting with.”
    He replied, “Steve, his name is Steve”
    “Oh, that’s right,” I said. “How’s his wife?”
    “He’s not married,” the guy said.
    “I must be mixing him up with someone else,” I replied.
    Now I knew he was not married, he drove a nice car and had a good job. I looked for him every time I went to the coffee shop. I smiled at him…he smiled at me and soon enough we were nodding hello to one another. I saw him munching on a cookie one day and asked where he got it. “My mom made them for me.”he said. BINGO! He’s from a good family. It’s a much longer story with many more adventures but suffice it to say we were married the following summer and now, 20 years and 4 kids later, we are stronger than ever.

  7. Rhonda P.

    That was so good, Corey. I love your stories of your life.
    For me, it was the story of almost 2 years and no dating, like you. A blind date with a man I felt an instant liking to. After that first kiss, I was certain he was to going to be mine.
    I just knew, he didn’t, I did. I waited for him to realize it and we’ve been together and happy for almost 6 years now.
    We are night and day but we work. I think we shocked a few people but who cares. I’m city – he’s suburb – we each love to laugh and hate drama – I’ve never been happier in my life.

  8. He was in his second year at the seminary.
    I had just arrived.
    He saw me first and went for it.
    I was more reticent.
    Then I got violently sick with food poisoning.
    He came over and offered to do my laundry.
    That’s when I knew he was the one, although God had been telling me that for awhile.
    24 years later. 2 children. Missionaries. Now co-pastors.
    He is the person who makes me be my best.

  9. Such a prosaic meeting: We were both university students, who met at a picnic up in Tilden Park (an “exchange” between his fraternity and my sorority). We began dating gradually, but over the months each of us came to realize that we liked the other one best. The decision to marry was mutual (i.e., no formal proposal). Sounds boring, I realize, but it worked for us!

  10. Chris Wittmann

    Your story really touched my heart. You have such a way with words 🙂 I met “him” on a windjammer cruise in the West Indies…a very romantic atmosphere, a ship board romance, how much better could you get? He was handsome, a member of the international crew. But he was 10 years older, I a very young 19, and I knew somehow when I left the ship to fly back to NY 2 weeks later he would find another passenger to “fraternize” with. Years later I would read his diary and discover he did indeed have others. The good news is, I kept my “fraternizing” very minimal, he would have to decide if he missed me enough to follow me, which he did. And the rest was history, but 2 years inbetween before I went to England to stay. Alot of letters, and tears when I left home. Though the marriage didn’t last, it was an experience I would not have wanted to miss.

  11. Michelle M in KY

    Oh my Corey…
    You’re going to leave us hanging like that? After all this time following your blog, I never knew there was another girl…one who came from France to take him back home. I do hope that you intend to finish the story.
    My beginning of romance??? Complicated, but completely worth it. Thanks for sharing such fabulous stories with us!

  12. I trusted him with my life – literally. Our 4th date was a white water boat trip down the River of No Return (really) in Idaho. He had a dory, friends had kayaks, I only knew him. Driving to the river, I saw the rapids. Scared, I followed his lead for 5 days and had the thrill of a life time. Two weeks later the love of his life called. She wanted to see him. He went to Idaho for the weekend instead of to Seattle and me. I was sure it was over and cried the whole weekend. I reupholstered my loveseat and nursed an infected tooth and cried some more. I don’t cry, but my heart hurt……

  13. Cathy J.

    My eyes locked in on the aligator skin boots. No other patient was wearing boots that rocked like these. …and I swear his blue/green eyes sparkeled in the room. I’d never, never, ever gone out with a patient before, but Wolfie was the great exception to the rule and that was 15 years ago. Even though the boots are gone, his eyes still sparkle in the right lighting or “mood”!

  14. a bar…
    a false name…
    an untrue occupation…
    an argument about politics…
    and his name?, I couldn’t remember.

  15. on a triple-blind date ……. three jazzy gals and a Marine from Hawaii
    and here we are, twenty-five years later! that was a
    good date

  16. Not nearly as compelling as yours. Keep talking.

  17. Victoria Ramos

    a blind date…his friend wanted to date my friend, she was older and kept resisting him, so he finally concocted an idea of a double date – where he had to persuade his friend to come…and MY friend had to do the same.
    I said lets meet at a bar and that way if things weren’t going well, we could easily leave. Well, next thing you know I am going to her house and they are picking us up to go to this place way up in the hills that is noted for ‘ribs and golden cadillacs’. So I was stuck. The blind date ‘friend’ looked like the opposite of me – he was a recent Cal Poly graduate who had lived in Yakima WA for a year running an apple farm with a full beard, cordoroy vest, checked pendelton shirt and all. I was a city girl in my very fancy pin-striped jump suit from I Magnin, tuxedo pumps and a hairdo reminiscent of Cleopatra.
    …….but he had very nice eyes and teeth, we talked all night long (along with other things 😉 ) and next thing you know we weren’t seeing anyone else. We are complete opposites and sometimes that can be hard but we’ve been married 24yrs…..who knew.

  18. gosh!romance everywhere…such wonderful memories. Love is amazing. Corey, write a book!!!

  19. Shelley Noble

    OOooooo. This is great, you writing the stories in installments, Corey!

  20. Him – kicking the back of my chair in a college art class(isn’t he a little too old for this?)… Me- heartbroken from a recent breakup… Him – coming to my apartment that night to “check” on me – and never left. 38 years later he remains my “rebound” love.

  21. I’m sitting on the edge of my seat, now! Oh, please don’t leave us hanging!
    I had been living in Japan for nearly two years when we got married, but I still felt that lonely “leaving it behind” feeling after we flew back from our Atlanta wedding. This post brought back a lot of memories!
    Our relationship started as friends trying to teach each other our languages after work hours. We became good friends, and confidants sharing about the rocky relationships we were both in at the time. I was sent to Japan a year later, then he came back a year after that, both of us having recently broken off those other relationships.
    He declared that he was going to show me the true beauty of Japan, and we started taking day trips to the countryside together every weekend. Three months later we were engaged. He was a little nervous that I would be unhappy living here indefinitely, but it was the best decision I ever made!

  22. Denise Moulun-Pasek

    I was engaged, started my first job teaching by going to the school to get some books in August. Was sitting in the staff lounge, saw him walk by and thought: “Oh no!”.
    Three months later, I broke the engagement.

  23. I think I shared this story with you before but here goes….
    I met DH at church. I was asked to answer phones at night for two weeks and on the last night (right before Thanksgiving), DH walks in and asks for keys. I realized I had never met him before and asked him a few questions. He gave me the most charming smile.
    All evening people stopped by and donated Turkeys for the poor. Since St. Vincent had already distributed the Turkeys I put these ad hoc turkeys in the pastor’s fridg. There were 5 Turkeys in the fridge. So when DH came back to return the keys I asked him if he would like a turkey and I gave him one. I figured he deserved it from all the work he did for the poor. He accepted it and a week later we met for coffee.
    We dated and had so much fun…then something happened … my girlfriend talked me into breaking up with him (she decided we were not a match) Oh really? I cried all weekend and this very good looking, very sweet guy left a bag of oranges on my porch from his tree. I called him back an apologized and asked if he would like to continue to see each other. He said “I’m yours if you will have me”. We’ve been married almost 18 yrs. A match made in heaven!

  24. For over a year, I knew my girlfriend’s boyfriend had a roommate. I had never met him.
    I moved to Australia for a year.
    I came back to California to gather my things to move to Australia.
    That was when I met him, finally. He was fixing his lawnmower, dripping with sweat from the California sun, and he looked up and shook my hand.
    In that moment, my heart and life began to soar…still soaring!

  25. *French Curiosités*

    She had his dashboard but you ended up with his heart 😉

  26. RebeccaNYC

    A handsome man with several cameras walked into a bar and sat next to me. The End.

  27. A blind date. It wasn’t until our third date that there was, as he said, a “bing”. He was the first man I dated after my divorce. I dated some others but he’s the one who won my heart and talked me into getting married a second time.

  28. Sherry ~Rustique Gal

    Be still my heart, your story and everyone else’s are so romantic. I remember a few romances that didn’t last. The feeling of the first date, the first kiss, the first love. I’m still looking for Mr Right!
    Hugs,
    Sherry

  29. elizabeth kirkpatrick

    OH MY GOSH!MY story is VERY much the same in fact I think I took ITALIAN Husband with his girlfriend who came from ITALY To visit to the I-BEAM.Cannot remember the name DISCO south of MARKET>????She had two, too many LONG ISLAND ICE TEAS!Any way, my husband and I started dating about 2 weeks before she came so I had to shop with him for pillows for his bed!So, the girlfriend from ITALY could be comfortable!I too thought that was the end of our story!But NO!I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!We ended up moving to ITALY for 3 years and during that time I spied her twice……….I didnot have the heart to go up to her and say”I GOT HIM!”

  30. At 12 and 13 we met at camp.He and his friend dared me to smoke a cigar for $10. I wanted to make some more crafts and had run out of money so… I lit up that disgusting thing and did my best impression of my cigar smoking relatives.Please note: I did not and do not smoke! Stunned that I had actually done it he handed over the $$ and as I was walking away, he turned to his friend and said with quiet certainty “I am going to marry that girl someday”. 16 years after that day we met, his friend stood up to toast us at our wedding, told the cigar story and said “It took you 16 years to get your girl, but you knew the first day you met her that we would end up here.” 25 years later, here we still are kooky as ever!!And thankfully, NO ONE is smoking cigars!
    __________________
    Hi Bramble,
    Love the story!
    Thank you and everyone for sharing your love stories!!
    C

  31. Gina Baynham

    I was in holidays in Greece with 14 other student nurses. He was a last minute addition to a group of friends on a package holiday. We overlapped by a few days. He had a girlfriend back in the UK. She wanted to get married. He felt it wasn’t going to work. He went home to her and I held my breath. Within a month he had booked a flight to see me in Ireland. He was single. Within a few months he proposed. We celebrate 15 years of marriage this June!

  32. michelea88@mac.com

    I love your story! I moved in California from the south of france in 1987 after meeting my “American Husband.” i could strongly relate to your story when you first moved to france because i felt the same way about america. your photography and posts and amazing. you make me feel like i am back in france when i look at your pictures and read your post. thank you, michele

  33. 20 years ago, at his sister’s house, towel-drying his hair as he answered the door.

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