Do You Remember Your First Boyfriend?

                                   Waiting in white

 

Growing up in a small town means you know everyone and everyone knows you. Do I daresay, it is possible that you are known before you are born, and are known long after you are gone?

I lived in a wonderful small town my entire childhood, and my family has deep roots in the community to this day. When I come home to visit, I often run into people who know me, though, through my embarrassment I cannot put a name to a face. It is not that I do not know who they are… it is that over time, I have not seen them grow, change, become older… Their names are familiar, though more often than not, like me their physical identity has run away over time.

The other day I was at a restaurant with my four little nieces. Just as I bite into my vegetarian burger, a handsome man stood in front of me, put his hands on his hips and said, "Hello Corey."

I had no idea who he was, but one thing was certain, I saw that he knew me well in his eyes.  I apologetically asked him his name, and when he told me, I didn't catch it, except it sounded like he said Johnson or something. I didn't dare ask him to repeat it.

Isn't it true that we communicate more without words, with subtle if not unconscious, movements of our eyes, head, hint of a smile? I knew he knew I was at lost, and I could not add insult to injury by asking him again what his name was.

Instead I made small talk hoping time, and/or clues in the conversation might help jump start my memory. I gathered that he was from a neighboring small town, and a farmer. Not helpful clues in a land of many farmers and small towns.

He knew I did not know who he was when he left saying goodbye.

I was left with my intrigue: Who was he?

Later that evening I told my Mom that I had met a man at the local restaurant that seemed to know me well, and that I barely caught his name though it sounded like Johnson. I also mentioned he was from the neighboring small town. In less than two seconds flat she knew his identity… she has after all lived most of her seventy-five years in this small town called: Home, and is as sharp as a tack. If ever I went on a Game Show I would take her as my partner.

As soon as she said his name I knew who "He" was, and felt flushed with sweet memory… and ashamed that I didn't jump up and give him a hug.

He was my first boyfriend. The last time I saw him was over thirty five years ago, during Christmas where he gave me a wishing well that he made himself. He moved shortly after that, and we lost touch.

Hello R.J.! I am so glad you said hello…

_________________________________

Do you remember your first boyfriend?

 



Comments

43 responses to “Do You Remember Your First Boyfriend?”

  1. christine

    Oh I most certainly do, I still adore him, and luckily also his wife 😉

  2. Do we ever forget?
    Sadly, I broke up with him on the advice
    of an older & wise woman…she was right,
    but I never forgot him and his lovely
    smile and twinkling eyes. We were too young,
    but young love is so tender and hearts can
    be broken so easily.

  3. Me too. We can never forget the ones we first love. They’re a part of history, sweet memories.

  4. Yes. We shared snacks and took naps on mats next to each other, those nuns loved nap time. We lost touch pretty soon after that, I doubt I’ll run into him again.

  5. Yes I most certainly do♥♥

  6. Yes, I remember my first boyfriend, grades K through 6.
    Fast forward to my 20s… My heart was broken and it took me quite a while to get over it, but years later I walked right by him and didn’t recognize him. He recognized me and we talked a while but it was obvious that I’d gotten over him. I was so glad.

  7. Yes I do and oddly enough, I dreamed about him last night. He may not have been my first boyfriend but he was my first love.

  8. Yes, I remember my first boyfriend, my first true love. His name was Jon. At 17, I loved him and would have given up everything to be with him. But my Dad (a very wise man) ensured that our relationship didn’t go farther than that one summer.
    I think of him and wonder how he is. I came across his picture not long ago and I smiled…oh, how wonderful a first love is.

  9. I do remember. I was carrying a torch for him for a while, but when I talked to him many years after, I was glad nothing came out of our teenage romance. I am fond of the memories and fond of him, but glad we went our separate ways.

  10. Smartest thing I ever did was NOT to marry him (he asked), because the relationship had been deteriorating over the final year. Ran into him a few months after I dumped him, and he was disrespectful to me; haven’t seen him since — good riddance.
    Played the field with a vengeance for the first time in my life afterwards, by which point I had a better idea of qualities that mattered to me, and among others met future Farmboy Husband (it wasn’t love at first sight, although he seemed nice and smart, and was gorgeous) — so glad I didn’t marry the first guy who proposed!

  11. Well, this means you haven’t changed that much….

  12. I remember my first boyfriend and all that followed but seriously, I cannot remember all of their names.
    I too, had a man sit in front of me at a sandwich shop one day. He said hello, knew my name but for the life of me I had no idea who he was. It took a while but his eyes told me his name. He had gained weight, married, had children but his eyes were the same.

  13. I remember Bobby Foos very well!! Eighth grade; first stolen kiss at the movies. Thansk for jogging my memory. I wonder what ever happened to him…we were boyfriend/girlfriend for the summer and then I changed schools. Ah, memories….lol!

  14. I was in kindergarten when a boy named Richard gave me an invitation to his birthday party. When my mother dropped me off she was slightly surprised and then amused to see that I was the only girl in a sea of five year old boys. Richards mother had a fancy chair for me to sit on at the table and had even gone out of her way to get me a special “girls” item for the gift bag. Once it finally dawned on me what was going on I felt very ,very special.

  15. It’s hard not to remember my first REAL boyfriend because I say goodnight to him and good morning every day. I married him!

  16. Well….you know who my first boyfriend was. And I thought I knew yours too. But I’m wrong!!!! I was thinking C.J. NOT an “R.J.” now you have me so curious!!!!

  17. I’ve never even had one! 🙂

  18. YES I DO…and it is with love and warmth that i recall him..his name his look and his smile. i do not know if i would recognize him today or he with me. i remember all my boyfriends that way…even if they hurt me…not that there were that many-the ones that i had were all special one way or another.

  19. Yes, well in kindergarten it was a crush on Jack. Then in 6th grade I met Dale. He even invited me to his home to meet his snakes. He was more smitten than I. But in high school it was Dave. I guess he was more smitten also, as he wanted to marry me and I couldn’t believe he would know what he wanted at our young ages. Life goes on and I married my college boyfriend. We are still here together after 47 years. I guess it took.

  20. Timmy Gilmore, 5th grade. He was such a good artist and would draw me pictures in notes. He left me for Debbie Caya. I was so sad.

  21. I havan’t had a boyfriend yet! How cute though!

  22. Victoria Ramos

    I remember my first ‘real’ boyfriend Cris from HS – as well as all the boys that I had crushes on throughout elementary school and junior high: Jan, forever Alan, Mike, Frank. I can still see their youthful faces.
    Played the field like a drunken sailor in my early 20s. Such fun and crazy memories…until I met Mr. Wonderful.
    I think French Husband must of bewitched you ;-).

  23. Hiya Sheala,
    C.J. was after R.J.
    and you have a good memory!
    BYW I saw your BFXH Mr. Whitey the other day…
    I hadn’t seen him since H.S.
    Love C.A. aks Coco

  24. Tom.
    He married a girl from England.
    I married a boy from France.
    Happily ever after.

  25. What a fine entry this morning Ms Corey.
    I only vaguely remember my first boyfriend. I was about three, and loved him from afar (two doors down). He was always the leader of the cowboys, and I of the Indians, the “team” only my loyal younger sister always chose to be on.
    My home town is having a centennial reunion this weekend; the town is 100 years old and there are 550 attendees registered. The town now has 150 residents, if that. There are activities: a parade, a pancake breakfast, two dances, a townhall-renovation dedication, a talent show, and so on. My escort and I will attend the beer gardens on Saturday afternoon, where I hope to see many old friends and acquaintances.

  26. Oh, Corey, you are so good at asking a question to tug at the memory and the heart…which are often securely attached. David and I grew up in Chicago, I was the older by 1 year. It was a wonderful childhood and if you remember Forrest Gump, then we were like peas and carrots. For the first 9 years of our lives, we were best friends, then my family moved far away to Arizona so my dad could work at the University there. And we lost touch. I remember my last evening in Chicago, we took a walk around the block and he found a tiny plastic bengal tiger in the grass, forgotten and left alone. He gave it to me. I still have it. I hope he remembers me…once or twice I think about looking for him at Facebook, they had an unusual last name, but have chickened out. 40 years is a long time. I have a picture…blonde, blue-eyed, very cute. Perhaps he thinks of me the same way?? What if…what if???

  27. My first love took his life earlier this year… I will always love him.

  28. yes! I married him!

  29. I married my first boyfriend too! 🙂 10 years this November!

  30. My first real boyfriend was an emotional mess because of family problems, which eventually led to our break-up (actually, I fled, in part, because his therapist said that I, a teen aged girl, was the key to all of his problems – that was a little too scary!). It was a hard break-up, but we did see each other a few times in the few years before I came to Japan and we made our peace. I have always wished him well, and remembered him fondly.
    Not long ago I found out that he is now a choreographer for an internationally famous modern dance company, married with two little boys, and from all appearances very happy. I am ever so glad.

  31. Shelley Etchepare

    Yes, I remember my first boyfriend. I was in love in 8th grade! We were together 8th grade and freshman year. It’s kind of funny one of my nurses is married to my first boyfriend (small world). It was hard to have a boyfriend because my dad was a drill sargent. We were all afraid of him! Those were nice memories I had thank you Bret Nelson…

  32. Bramble

    Yes, I remember him well. Bluest eyes and sweetest soul I have ever known. We remain friends to this day, but you can’t help wonder “What if”?

  33. My first bf was Bobby. We met when I was a sophmore in HS. My sister wanted to go on a date with this special guy and our loving dad said no – unless you take Ann. Huh? So sis and her bf came up with Bobby as my date. Bobby and I dated through my Sr yr then I wanted to “see the world” and attended college in a different state. We parted and he married shortly thereafter. Many years later mom sent me a newspaper article that Bobby passed away at 42. I was so sad since he was a very fine person.

  34. Corey…my heart started beating so fast when i read your blog…R J had just told me the story about seeing you again in the resturant and that you didnt remember him…his big eyes seemed sad that you didnt remember him…he did not know you didnt hear his name…he even mentioned that he had made you that wishing well…i smiled through your whole story knowing how happy he would be that you did remember…

  35. Brother Mathew

    I’m glad to hear that!
    Brother (Dad of Marie) Mathew

  36. Oh yes.
    Red hair, freckles and all.

  37. I am incredibly sad after reading all of your comments. Sad and confused because I’m not sure of the definition. I wasn’t allowed to have an official boyfriend until I was sixteen. I had school girl “boyfriends”– as in he liked me, I liked him; everyone in school knew we were boyfriend/girlfriend, but not an official boyfriend. I was 17 before I had my first date.
    I just realized most of my bfs were named John. I even married a John. Our first date was as friends. It was a school play. We were in high school. Oh, my goodness. What a state I’m in. LOL!

  38. Same here. I guess people have different definitions. I didn’t count grade school crushes, and started dating the boy I wrote about at 17.

  39. Yes. I remember my first crush and my first boyfriend (not the same boy). My first boyfriend found me on facebook and apologized to me for being such a world class jerk at the end of our relationship. That was very sweet of him and nice to know he had matured and grown up… although to hear his story it wasn’t until years later and wife #2 before he did so. I am glad I didn’t marry him.

  40. Joanne Tuchman

    Not a story about first boyfriend, but… Last fall when I was in New Zealand friends took me to see a play titled “My First Time”. It was written by a group of friends who posted a question on their blog asking people to tell of their “first time”. There were five actors on stage who read the responses as though they had written them. Each was either touching, amusing or hysterically funny. As each person had come into the theatre they were given a card asking the name of YOUR “First Time” partner and where the event took place. The friend I was with has been my best friend since we were three years old and when they read off the answers to these queries we laughed out loud when we heard familiar names being spoken in a theatre a million miles from home.

  41. My first boyfriend broke my heart horribly, and apologized for it about five years ago. He found me via an Internet Classmates thingy. He still writes regularly and I have to say his apology and concern has helped heal a thirty five year old wound. Now we are friends.

  42. Jackie Henning.
    I was madly, head-over-heels in love.
    We were 13.
    On occasion I still find things at my parents house that are marked with “JDH + DKC”. And my father teased me about it for 38 years.
    He married a sweet friend of mine and they had four children and a happy marriage….but until the day he died my heart still skipped and fluttered and my breath caught in my throat every time I ran into him.
    Isn’t life wonderful?

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