Passage of Time

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Crossing the threshold from Willows California to France (back in 1988) was not easy. Even though I was in love, and starting the journey of married life with a Frenchman, leaving my big loving family and friends, was not taken lightly, my heart ached in the middle of its joy.

France and I were not instant friends, we didn't just click. No, ours was a slow steady coming together. On those days were France seemed unbearable, cold and hard, on those days where I struggled with the culture, the language, the lack of a cup-of-tea friend! On those days were the different rules and customs bugged me, grating against my independent being, it seemed some sacred spirit would come and stand by me. In the midst of those blue days something would tug at my sleeve, as if to say, "Here, look here!" The heart on my sleeve would be mended, a smile would blink away the tears, and I would hold on a little tighter to the country I was coming to know as home.

Sure, I missed my family in Willows, I always will. Time does not change certain things. France is my home, my day to day life. The differences between the two countries and myself I hardly see any more. France has become my friend, I don't focus on what I have lost, instead I look at what I have gained.

I have a foot in both countries now, and a heart full of love.

But oh the price… Goodbyes are never easy.



Comments

30 responses to “Passage of Time”

  1. I am sending my blessings to you Corey as you yet again have to say goodbye to your family. I know it must be hard.
    “I have a foot in both countries now. And a heart full of love” —– a rich and blessed life, which you so freely and lovingly share with the world.
    Thank you.

  2. Elaine L.

    How does Sacha feel about leaving?
    ~elaine~

  3. jend’isère

    I need not say Bon Voyage to a bonne voyager through life.

  4. Oh, yes. Your words express how I feel exactly – straight from your fingertips to my heart. Though, I would love to feel the pain of goodbyes a little more often. It’s been way too long since my last trip back to the good ol’ US of A!

  5. Cy Todd

    Perfectly said!!

  6. Beautiful expressions…and I am sure it was very difficult to move from California to France.The beautiful man, I am sure made it somewhat easier but it was still a long way from home. You are a very brave and independent woman.I expect Sasha is a bit sad today as well. Safe journey!

  7. Marie-Noëlle

    This post of yours made me think about The Beatles’ song “Hello, Good Bye”

    You say goodbye and I say hello
    Hello hello
    I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello
    Hello hello
    I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello


    Thinking of you !!!
    xo

  8. Such a beautiful heartfelt post… thank you for sharing so much with us Corey ~ your family, your life, your love, your passion ~ …you touch us all.

  9. I just (today) arrived in Poland from Canada that was my home for over 22 years and where I just stayed for 2 weeks to visit – I know exactly what you mean.

  10. Corey, I feel for you and Sacha and can imagine how hard it was to say good-bye. We moved to Atlanta from Chicago two weeks ago and the good-byes were the worst part. It’s a lot closer than France, but not for the grandparents missing their only grandchildren. Loving it so far though, with a few pangs of homesickness along the way. We will bloom where we are planted, as you definitely have. My best to you!

  11. Corey, I’ve never stopped missing Northern California, after having moved away more than 40 years ago. I recently counted up, however, and calculated that since leaving I’ve spent a total of over a year in California just visiting, the mere idea of which made me feel a bit better!
    The Portuguese naturally have an untranslatable word for this excruciating aching from longing — SAUDADES (sigh).

  12. Always connected with the heart strings…always.

  13. A very touching post that brings up the fact I feel you can have two homes. Home to me is where you were raised – grew up – memories that run deep.
    Also, home is where you actually live and are living your life right now.
    So, when someone asks me, where’s home – I always have to stop and think before I answer. As I ache for my home state and family very much.

  14. “Parting is such sweet sorrow”

  15. georgie

    Our family vacations almost always involved driving to SanDiego via Northern California and those beautiful towns and farms. Always thought I’d like to move there some day. Have a wonderful trip back to Yann and France, Corey. Not only do you love two different homes; you have people in each place whom you love/they love you!

  16. Always next door neighbors of the heart♥♥

  17. Annie vanderven

    How I understand it all, I did the reverse, I left France to come and live in the States for the same reason as yours. It was not easy, still is not as I shall always be the french woman here. Yes I have made friends but I am still leery to open my mouth, unfortunately France has a bad reputation here!!!I live on the East coast just the reporting about DSK gives a pretty good idea of what I am talking about.When I go back to France I feel I am home.
    Love to read your blog.

  18. My Hero Husband used to say during our long stay in England (both being Swiss)that he felt deeply derooted (hope this is English!) – I think we CANNOT be fully, fully at home in many countries, we all have ONE HOME COUNTRY. For us it’s Switzerland and as much as we liked being in other countries, and mostly always together, our ♥ belongs to Switzerland somewhat. BUT we also always feel that where our ♥ is, our home can be. And we refused plenty of times job offers in USA BECAUSE of both our families in Switzerland… we just couldn’t bear it to be away for too long.
    But then, visiting (not too far from France) is also always linked with heartache; every leave is dying a bit… nobody can take THAT away – and as much as you will look forward to come back to your FH, a tiny bit of your heart will be ripped out and be left in the States! But you’ll heal again, love and thanks God there is mail, internet, phones… Big hug, safe trip back to France and gros bisous
    Kiki ♥

  19. Godspeed. The bittersweetness of having 2 homes poses a challenge but what we think of as a “high class” problem after all. You are doubly blessed. May the parting hold not too much sorrow to bear. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

  20. YOu know, it certainly comes across, how hard your family goodbyes must be in Willows….all we need do is take a look at Sacha, flourishing as a supposed “fish out of water” to see how deep those roots go. But as hard as your transition must have been, Provence, I don’t think, would have been the same without you, in my humble opinion. You color it even more vividly for us with the exuberance that is only “Corey’s”, and I thank you for that.

  21. Paulita

    The only good thing about saying goodbye to one family is going to the family that is waiting for you

  22. No, they are not easy, but you do it so well. Happy travels and may you be blessed with a special welcome home, as I know you will be. I am sure now it is difficult for Sacha too.

  23. Please travel safely and with a heart full of memories.

  24. sometimes it is so easy to think that the other gal has different rewarding problems. but we don’t and different situations present various feelings for all of us. families and home sickness or nostalgia can pick at our ♥’s stronger than others. iam nostalgic and many times it is deep for me and makes it a struggle. it chews at me to be this way,but in the same breathe,i know it has made me stronger and a more thoughtful woman. woman? i still feel as if i am much younger more like child. with this said, enjoy the rest of your stay and have a safe trip home. Bestest,Denise

  25. I have lived in Melbourne for 24 years and my closest family is either in Scotland or San Diego.
    Oh it is SO tough saying goodbye and as you know, you don’t get any more practiced at it the more you do it. Hold hard in that you are still here and they are still there to say goodbye to. We indeed are the lucky ones.

  26. Hope you have a safe journey knowing that love is at both ends. It is always a little sad to say goodbye.

  27. Nicely written Corey, those of use who have picked ourselves up and moved away from family know that it’s not the easiest choice, but the rewards can be rich and plenty!

  28. Jane Ann

    You are such a wise woman, to learn to love where you have been led. It is certainly sad to leave ones family and your childhood home, but how wonderful that you’ve learned to love another. God knows what a big heart you have. You have plenty of love to share and so many love you. How fortunate you are to be a part of so many lives, USA, France, and ours.

  29. Just like me… But the sad part about having a foot in both countries is that there are times when I don’t feel fully in one or the other…. Even after 18 years, there are still many times when I feel like a European in America and an American in Europe…!! Have a safe trip home!
    Isabel

  30. article that appeared good enough to be read so that adds to knowledge when reading

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