Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Freedom… Now to learn how to hook my Bra.

Ex voto hand (long)

Freedom is such a big word. Whenever I say it I feel the horizon extending beyond the stars.

Open space, Expression, possiblities, full range, arms open wide, running wild….

Freedom is an extraordinary gift that many of us take for granted.

I for one will never take for granted the gift of freedom I had when I could use both of my hands.

 

 

Ex voto hand

 

My cast came off on Tuesday, now I am wearing a brace. Yesterday I started physical therapy. Somehow in my mind I thought physical therapy would be soothing, like a massage, and "poof" my hand would move freely so that I could:

-Drive,

-Open something, anything without the use of my teeth, or holding it between my knees,

-Grab my camera and be able to take photos,

-Cut my food,

-Button my clothes, hook my bra,

-Dance with French Husband,

-Type with two hands,

….amongst many other little luxuries of having two hands notwithstanding the happy confession that I cannot do dishes, iron or fold clothes.

 

Fatima hand knocker red

 

Was I wrong about physical therapy, not that it hurts worse than childbirth (I compare pain to childbirth do you?) But it was close. The therapist is wonderful, he would say when it hurts tell me and I will stop, I would, and he did. He hardly could make a move without me exclaiming, "Oh God, Ouch!" Thankfully he understood that to mean stop.

 

Hand

 

Physical therapy will be three days a week for weeks and months to come. I am glad I can walk in minutes to his office.

I asked the physical therapist if he thought I would be able to use a camera or drive soon? He asked me what soon meant to me. I offered a hopeful, "Three weeks?"

"No." was what he said… after that response I took it as a dare not to ask anymore questions about time recovery. My hand will heal beautifully in its own freedom of time and with the amazing energy offered to me by many.

 

 

Musee-orsay-hand

I am on the road to recovery, I will clap my hands later. In the meantime I am going to work hard, steadily with patience to regain usage.

Another thing… What utter joy it was to put my arm under water, and have it soak in the tub.

What Freedom have you lost and hopefully regained?

 

 

(Photos on my blog are from my archives, or from my iPhone…. Thank you Steve Jobs.)

 

Comments

46 responses to “Freedom… Now to learn how to hook my Bra.”

  1. kim

    My first marriage was very unhappy. When I moved out of the house, it was to a tiny little room in someone else’s apartment but I felt total joy and freedom like I had never felt before.
    And yes, RIP Steve Jobs. My husband is in deep mourning today, believe me. He’s been an Apple guy from the beginning.

    Reply
  2. Zosia

    Similarly to you, Corey, I lived away from my family (father, siblings, nephews, nieces) for over 20 years. I did not have the freedom to visit them at a drop of a hat. Now, after moving back home, I have that freedom again.
    Another small freedom: I had braces as an adult for 2.5 years and I missed the freedom of easy brushing and flossing and just running my tongue over my teeth.
    On another note, linking to the title of this post: freedom to hook your bra vs. the suffragette’s or the 60’s freedom of going bra-less :-).

    Reply
  3. Bev

    I’ve always heard that PT as it is called here really means “Physical Torture.”

    Reply
  4. sam

    Good luck with the physical therapy, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Reply
  5. Sheila Dal

    I broke my wrist at the end of May and spent six
    weeks in a cast. I think you will find that you
    will recover quickly once you get over the initial
    stiffness. Just keep working on it yourself with
    lots of bending and flexing. Mine is still a bit
    swollen, though, in October. Carry on!

    Reply
  6. pinar

    not me but my patients.. usually remind me being thankful for all the freedom I am used to..
    one little lady with spinal trauma.. who has been fed by other for approximately 6 months.. told me the first day she has hold a spoon and fork and ate by herself.. that she missed eating a little soup then a mouthful of salad.. and then some bread.. she told me.. when somebody else is feeding you.. they give one meal at a time..
    now I have ordered the helpers to ask the patients how they want to be fed.. in which order they want their morsels..
    I wish you a fast and full recovery dear Corey..
    love from istanbul..

    Reply
  7. Jeanne

    Love you
    Heal well my lovely friend.
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  8. Star

    I lost my voice once when I had a virus. Scary it was.
    I’m so glad you are out of your cast and know that you will see improvement week by week. Healing is such a miracle! 🙂

    Reply
  9. monique

    oh my poor Corey !!
    WAIT ET SEe !!
    kiss

    Reply
  10. Denise

    Rah!Rah! Corey! You go girl! I am your personal cheering squad…
    I was over the moon to come back to better than normal after my burnout last fall! Prayer, positive thinking and patience were my constant companions.

    Reply
  11. everton terrace

    Oh yes, I remember after my ankle surgery, the most glorious thing to me was being able to take a shower. Seemed a luxury. I don’t think I did the physical therapy long enough and still have a very tight ankle after two years. Go slow, heal well 🙂

    Reply
  12. christine

    Wow. You really did some damage… you are lucky to have therapy so close to home. Now that is enough accidents for you! Be safe.

    Reply
  13. Kiki

    Corey, my love – once again I haven’t been able to read your posts and now I’ll indulge with a large cup of tea (yeah, it’s that time again since this morning… it’s nice too!!! – less pressure from the garden!) in some serious reading. As always, I read therefore backwards.
    First – RIP Steve Jobs; I only listened to his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University, I don’t even know WHY! A truly great man…
    Second – your cast is off – hurrah! And you ‘demonstrate’ that newly found freedom with one of your most touching blogs with all those lovely, lovely knockers, scratchers, whathaveyous…. – so very Corey!
    You couldn’t know that this strong sence of thankfulness for the daily workings of our limbs, brains, lives is a happy recounting for me every single day; I am thankful for so many things – and for so many little happinesses (is that an English word?) – and I also thought many times that for you to re-learn doing countless little movements, duties would be a hard job and certainly would not go unnoticed.
    I had a serious problem with my knees and my back and every single morning I praise God for his help, when I can get off my bed without pain, without biting the inside of my mouth with agony, and am able to run to the loo without any trouble. Thank You, dear God!!!
    I lost and regained the freedom of being a ‘free and loved’ woman. The minute I left my former husband and scaled down my live style dramatically, I could breathe again, I could sleep again, I could cook or not, I could sit with a book and a glass of wine on the roof terrace and chat with other tenants of the little house where I rented a studio… I could go and swim in my beloved lake at night and bike back to my home; I was home at home!
    NOW, I am married for a very long time with my second and last Hero Husbnd and we both are free and loved; we both are thankful to have each other every day of our trip through life, it’s a precious and never ‘taken for granted’ gift. I am happy to share this with you but I am sad for all those who never have known such freedon and happiness.

    Reply
  14. Cheryl ~ Casual Cottage Chic

    Healing will come quickly because you are such a positive person 😉

    Reply
  15. Chris Wittmann

    So happy for you Corey that the cast is off. I can’t imagine such a restriction having been fortunate enough in my nearly 60 years on this planet never to have broken a bone, even after a serious car accident. Outside of losing the use of the entire downstairs of my home after a terrible flood (a dam above us burst) including NO septic system, I’d have to say losing my dad was the worse thing, not being able to confide in him or hear him laugh. I regained the use of my home after many months of renovation work…we actually “camped out” upstairs with 25 cats…yep, 25… for 6 months, we could not afford to board so many pets and move out and rent, that was definitely out. But having to use a porta-potty for the entire summer and go to friends homes to shower was more than I could bear. I was SO glad to have the use of our own bathroom again. Of course I cannot have get dad back, all I can do is remember his wisdom and humor and let his spirit guide me on. I hope therapy speeds your recovery!

    Reply
  16. Victoria Ramos

    Tiny steps in your road to recovery! No more ladders please.
    Thank you Steve Jobs – for changing how the world communicates while doing it with style and innovation. California is mourning for our native son.

    Reply
  17. Rhonda P.

    No freedoms lost here, thank the good Lord. I walk slower and more carefully to avoid re-spraining my ankle, maybe that’s good.
    No cast, must feel great. Be patient, you will see time will fly by and soon you will be two handed again.
    I sent you a surprise….not much of a surprise if I tell you, though, right?
    xo Rhonda

    Reply
  18. Tatiana

    I remember the joy of long baths and showers after having multiple casts removed over the course of my life! The delight in being able to use all my limbs once again. Yes, PT can be painful and takes time and dedication but is always worth the effort!
    Dealing with chronic disease and having lost multiple challenges with gravity over the course of my overzealous lifetime have meant that I’ve had to re-learn the “simple” act of walking 3 times. It keeps you aware of the miracle that is mobility. This last winter gravity and I had our final confrontation – unfortunately gravity won.
    So now, I’m learning to navigate my way through life with wheels. Dispite what most may consider a tragedy, I find myself continually grateful that I’m still able to get around at all. Yes, I’ve lost a bit of independence, but I’ve learned just how gracious the universe can be in providing me with friends and family who allow me the freedom to do what I can but are quick to step up when I can’t.
    So, I’ve lost something quite important to me (namely, my independence), but I’ve learned how to ask for help and accept it graciously.

    Reply
  19. Amy Kortuem

    Oh Corey, I’m so happy you are free from that pesky cast and on your way to a two-handed life again.
    A freedom and regaining thereof occurred recently and briefly for me, but was powerful nonetheless…I cleaned my basement on Saturday and had a run-in with a big metal shelf I was wrestling outside and it banged me into a pile of old paint cans and I’m so totally bruised up it’s embarrassing and it’s 85 degrees here in Minnesota in an October weather fluke but I have to wear long sleeves and pants to hide the evidence that looks like I got into a really, really, really bad bar fight.
    Not that I’ve ever been in a bar fight, mind you…
    But I was soooooooooo sore for days I could hardly move. Last night I felt the freedom of loosened shoulders and pain-free knees and had the ability to bend over and lift my arms without crying, even though my bruises are in the “it gets worse before it gets better” stage. I’ve never seen such a shade of purple…
    (one bruise photo is on my blog, I’ll spare you looks at the rest of them)

    Reply
  20. Lieselotte

    Poor Corey – this is really tough. Hope your patience will go a long way, Every time I step on a ladder now I have to think of your accident, and I take extra care. I hope that the worst pain during therapy will soon be over for you. Things can only get better, can´t they ?
    With the best
    Lieselotte

    Reply
  21. Amy Kortuem

    Oh Corey, I’m so happy you are free from that pesky cast and on your way to a two-handed life again. I can’t believe you’ve done all you’ve done with that cast on.
    A freedom and regaining thereof occurred recently and briefly for me, but was powerful nonetheless…I cleaned my basement on Saturday and had a run-in with a big metal shelf I was wrestling outside and it banged me into a pile of old paint cans and I’m so totally bruised up it’s embarrassing and it’s 85 degrees here in Minnesota in an October weather fluke but I have to wear long sleeves and pants to hide the evidence that looks like I got into a really, really, really bad bar fight.
    Not that I’ve ever been in a bar fight, mind you…
    But I was soooooooooo sore for days I could hardly move. Last night I felt the freedom of loosened shoulders and pain-free knees and had the ability to bend over and lift my arms without crying, even though my bruises are in the “it gets worse before it gets better” stage. I’ve never seen such a shade of purple…
    (one bruise photo is on my blog, I’ll spare you looks at the rest of them)

    Reply
  22. Julie Fredericksen

    In September 2011 (not long after 9/11), I fell on the sidewalk and fractured my elbow. It was the head of the radius, and doctors used to cast that type of fracture, but usually the arm ended up frozen in a bent position. Therefore, they put me in a sling for weeks and weeks. The pain? Well, in essence I had fractured my funny bone, so picture hitting your funny bone at the slightest movement. I could not cut my meat, button my jeans, hook my bra, type, drive with my right hand, etc. etc. And for the longest time, even after therapy and after getting the sling off, I could not use a pair of scissors, slice bread or (horrors) open a bottle of wine! Now my arm is 99% healed. The only thing is that I used to have two doubled-jointed elbows and now only have one.

    Reply
  23. Julie Fredericksen

    Oops, meant Sept. 2001.

    Reply
  24. Kathie B

    So glad your cast is off, Corey. As I mentioned yesterday(?), I underwent a few months of Physical Therapy for a rotator cuff injury to my shoulder, with, like you, three appointments per week and working out on my own at home the other four days. I was highly motivated, because the alternatives were worse: a lifelong frozen shoulder, or surgery, both of which I definitely wanted to avoid if possible. After a few months, my shoulder was still uncut, and nearly as good as new — and still is, a few years later!
    BTW, I recently read a Top 10 list of jobs that people most enjoy doing, and Physical Therapist was among them (so was Writer, which I like to think includes Translator as a subset). I imagine one of the emotional rewards that Physical Therapists reap is the satisfaction of seeing patients improve over time, because they get to follow-through on each case.
    Please remember never to hesitate to tell your Physical Therapist when it hurts, because s/he doesn’t want you go all the way to actual pain, just to knock on its door 😉

    Reply
  25. Carol L

    Corey, I thought I remembered reading this some where and I found it……How to put on a bra with one hand. Worth a try !
    Attach the clothespin to the waist of your pants or panties and clip the hook end of your bra with the bra upside down and the hooks facing out. Wrap the bra around your back and hook the loops into the hooks. Unclip and turn bra around so that the cups are in the front. Put the bad” arm through its strap and then the “good” arm pull up and you’re ready to go! No need to hold anything with your chin and you can see what you’re doing! Plastic clothespins will work but have a tendency to break…

    Reply
  26. Jennie@clusternavigators.com

    Greetings Corey
    You may remember I reported that my husband broke his wrist just a few days before you while in Sweden. He has been back in NZ for two weeks and a few days back he also got his cast off and arm free. However, like you he is still in a lot of discomfort. He had a steel plate and screws etc., put into his wrist area as his break was quite bad, not sure if you had the same sort of thing?
    Anyway, he began physio with a lovely woman yesterday and he too is trying to get back to normal though he is feeling very tentative about the world and his damaged wing!
    It is good to read that you are dealing with the same things – it helps me to see you are both at the same stage….I hope you will be back with both hands on your camera taking photos to delight us once again!
    Cheers
    Jennifer
    Nelson, New Zealand

    Reply
  27. Sue

    Not having been the one in pain and inconvenienced I can say that it seems like you got your cast off very quickly!
    I have rheumatoid arthritis (juvenile onset – at age 12), and had lot of PT at the beginning. The therapist told me that most people find that PT does not stand for “physical therapy” at all, but “physical torture!” Indeed! I hope it pays off quickly for you!

    Reply
  28. patsy

    We have to be grateful for everything! I used to have mouthsores and couldn’t talk or eat! Terrible! Now I am so grateful that I can sing, talk, eat! That is freedom! Can you imagine those people who don’t have limbs like Nick Vujicic! His freedom is of another world!

    Reply
  29. herhimnbryn

    I have a frozen shoulder and am having physio too ( keep up with your exercises Corey!). Husband has to do up my bra for me. Being a scientist he exclaimed that bras are badly engineered, also that he could not remember ever having to do up a bra!
    Onwards dear one…

    Reply
  30. Marilyn

    So happy you are moving along in your recovery. I once told the dentist I would rather have a baby than have him drilling on my teeth. He just smiled.

    Reply
  31. deborah

    Glad you are healing, but sorry that it will be a lengthy process. How wonderful small things we take for granted are, like being able to soak in the tub!

    Reply
  32. Brenda, Walker, LA ,USA

    I lost ability to move, I was paralyzed during my struggle with Guillaume Barre’ Syndrome. I am about 89% back, and that is all I need to accomplish life quite well! Thank you, Jesus!

    Reply
  33. Lindy

    1. You don’t need your hands to dance…oh la la…
    2. don’t wear a bra OR get one that hooks in the front and get French husband to “help” you.
    3. I am very thankful that it is off and pray to Jesus that you will soon be able to do the things you used to do. The sooner the better!
    Love to you from Texas

    Reply
  34. Irina

    oh, poor Corey … but at least the therapy is close by.
    I will feel free when all the boxes that are still in the apartment gone. Almost there, this morning the last chandelier went up, now to finishing the bed upholstery 🙂

    Reply
  35. michael

    so nu, mme bricoleura, is the ceiling papered yet already?

    Reply
  36. Paula

    So glad to hear your cast is off Corey and and with the help of the pysio you will be on the mend (sooner rather than later). I can empathise with you over your lack of movement and being able to do everyday normal things. Four years ago I had terrible pain in my arm and neck, my doctors said it was nothing and I would have to live with the pain. A year later and numerous more visits to the doctor,I could stand the pain and lack of sleep no longer. I went back and insisted that something needed to be done. I was later diagnosed with a frozen shoulder, by this time is was so frozen that I needed 4 minor surgeries and lots of visits to the pysio before (3 years later) it was better! I live on my own so you can imagine how difficult it was to dress, wash my hair etc. Sadly the frozen shoulder has returned but this time the doctors have booked me in for surgery on the 25th October and 6 months of pysio thereafter, so all will be well again soon.
    I wish you a speedy recovery Corey, take care. Paula x

    Reply
  37. Jenny N

    Yea! Corey…here’s to speedy and full recovery. I too had the same kind of freedoms restored when the open sores on my fingers healed up and finally I could feel the water caress my fingers instead of the burning that the water would actually do to those open wounds. For six months I would carefully plastice wrap and tape up my fingers so that it would be impossible to let a drop into the wound or bandaging (the bandages were expensive too.) then the sweet day came when without the ritual plastic layer, or bandages I could use both hands to lather rinse and repeat. ahh. It does feel great.

    Reply
  38. Teddee Grace

    With that gorgeous man for a mate, why are you worrying about fastening your bra?

    Reply
  39. Rebecca from the Pacific northwest

    Jenny, did you have bad eczema, or something else? This reminds me of the cracked thumbs and fingers I had from eczema until a wonderful dermatologist helped me. Now I know what to do the very second an indication that it’s turning up again. What a relief!
    I’m happy for you that you no longer have that ritual and pain.

    Reply
  40. Rebecca from the Pacific northwest

    Tatiana, I love the way you describe all this, and salute your wonderful attitude! Cheers!

    Reply
  41. Rebecca from the Pacific northwest

    I’m smelling and tasting again, after various long stretches of no smell, no taste — a very grey world indeed. Chocolate! Wine! The nape of my husband’s neck! Even bad smells and tastes (diesel fumes come to mind) are welcome when all has been a blank for months.
    I enjoy all the hands and wrists in this post. Very fitting of course.

    Reply
  42. Lynn

    Don’t arrive in Avignon until 4pm on the 14th….please postpone 24 hours 🙂

    Reply
  43. Christine

    Having taken a nasty fall about 2 years ago, I didn’t have my injured knee looked at. No insurance. After living with a knee the size of a basketball for the last 10 months I finally had it drained. Last Saturday the surgeon sucked out 2 huge syringes of fluid. It was heaven!! Really. Hasn’t helped my walking, but I go back in 1 month for a check up. Freedom from the constant pressure in my knee is truly a gift and a blessing. Good luck on PT. I had it after being rear-ended by a semi. PT really does mean Physical Torture (as someone else said)…lol! It really will help you though!

    Reply
  44. Danna

    Two and a half years ago we discovered that my cancer had metasticized to my sternum and spine and caused multiple fractures in the vertebra and within a few months I found myself confined to a wheel chair. The pain was so overwhelming at times I literally had to psych myself up just to sit down then stand up from the toilet. I couldn’t even step over the 3″ lip into the shower without my husband lifting me and placing me in there. Naturally I couldn’t climb the stairs so we had a hospital bed installed in the living room. There are two sofas there as well and my two beautiful boys (then 11 and 13) decided they needed to be near Mom “just in case” so they slept on those sofas every single night for four months. Those first couple of months it was impossible for me to get out of the bed by myself much less get to the bathroom. Three times a night for two months, I would page my husband who came down stairs, carefully lifted me into the wheel chair, then lifted the chair up two stairs to the bathroom and back again. He never ever grumbled or showed even the slightest sign of frustration at having his sleep interrupted so many times a night. Each time he would smile at me and kiss me and oft times make me laugh. At the time it was so scary because we didn’t know if the treatment would work or if I’d ever walk again. But as I look back I realize I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have never felt so totally loved. And the experience changed all our lives. I’m sure it will change yours, as well.
    Thank you, Corey (and the other writers here) for sharing your stories and reminding me again to always be grateful.
    BTW…..Japanese acupuncture was enormously helpful in my recovery.

    Reply
  45. Franca Bollo

    Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.
    – K. Kristofferson

    Reply
  46. Rainy

    Ten years ago I was running a race down a concrete path with my 4 year old G-son. As I was pulling ahead he put his arm out to slow me. Well I did a massive fall and landed on my left shoulder. Shattered it good. I regained about 5o%. But my G-son is still my favorite boy G-son (I only have one G-son and one G-daughter).
    Life happens and it becomes a funny family memory of the day G-son tried to stop G-Rainy from winning the race. I still say I won!

    Reply

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