The countdown, the week before the wedding.
Joy and nerves,
Nerves and Joy…. dance around and around.
Forever looms, a change of culture, place and pace stand evident,
Permanency rings, "Are you ready?'
Marrying in France is not quite the same as marrying in America.
As usually in any culture the differences are in the details.
Details that take us by the hand, surprising saying, "You are not in your safety zone, you are not in the land of familiar… Things might look the same, might even feel the same, but they are not."
There is a richness in culture differences which often go unnoticed until you have to live side by side with them. Then the reality of those differences opens a door taking you further inside. It is then that one has the opportunity to understand and accept another culture. To see it as it is and not as one perceives it to be.
The French wedding cake for example does not have tiers, nor a topper on top, in fact in France the traditionally wedding cake isn't even a cake.
Instead the traditional French wedding cake is called, a "Croquembouche" made from choux puffs that are filled with French custard or whipped cream, and spun with caramel.
Visiting France is one thing.
Staying in France for a few months to a year is another.
Living in France knowing you have an option to return "home" is yet another.
But living in France for the rest of your life… can make one sit up and take notice of feelings and thoughts one never ever thought about.
Going 'home' to visit is not as easy as driving across the country, or buying an airline ticket…. it is a reality that sinks in, stares you down and asks, "Are you ready for this change of kingdom?"
The new kingdom might make you feel off balance, causing your moods to swing.
Getting married does that.
Moving does that.
Moving to another country and marrying is a head banger at times.
Something old (I wore my Grandmother's wedding dress.),
Something new (I wore new shoes, symbolic of the journey ahead.),
Something borrowed (I wore a gold bracelet that every woman on my Dad's side of the family wore when they were married.)
Something blue…. Yann gave me earrings that had dark blue stones… though I always thought my blue was what I felt to say goodbye to my family.
But the Something-Borrowed-Old-New-Blue-and-a-penny-in-your-shoe is not a French custom.
I put a French Franc in my shoe.
Mimi and Alain have been married before.
But that doesn't take away the joy or the reason to celebrate new love.
Most couples in France live together, marrying might happen, but if not doesn't mean less.
Like Mimi and Alain, French Husband and I didn't have that option. One cannot just live in another country just because you love someone or want to have a relationship. One has to marry.
Imagine if you were gay…. love would not be easy if you did not live in the same country. I never thought of that before until I was faced with the fact that I could only be with French Husband if we married.
Prenuptial Agreements
My Mother in Law had a list of everything she owed notarized before she married my Father in Law. It listed her furniture, silverware, personal items such as jewels, and linens.
I came to France with two suitcases: Which had a two pillow cases, the angel mentioned above, a hand-made pot-holder my Mother made when she was fourteen and some clothes, and books.
Everything is ready:
The guests are invited.
The venue for the wedding is in place,
Glasses ordered as well as the stuff to fill them,
Clothes hang ready to wear,
Menu planned.,
Cakes…. French style with a twist.
Marriage at the city hall will happen this Saturday, I hope to take photos, they will be my first attempt to take photos since the day I tried to three weeks ago.
Nerves and Joy
Joy and Nerves are rocking.
Be in the shoes that lead you to dance with your life.
Wear them worn true if they dance your tune,
but if they don't sing your song… kick them off!
Ask yourself what do you need to set your feet on the beat-
that will stir your heart to live passionately-
your whole self and nothing short of it!
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