Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

The D.J. Saved my Life

 

IMG_7302

The other day I went clothes shopping with a friend, when we arrived downtown, it appeared that the entire city of Marseille had the same idea. Nevertheless we were two girls on a mission, we went straight to our favorite shop, found things we liked and headed towards the dressing room where we found a defeating line ahead of us. Without given it a second thought we went to the men's dressing room which was deserted. Why is it that the men's dressing room as well as their bathrooms are less full than the womens?

 

 

Interior room

 

We shared one of the men's dressing room, figuring that if any guys came around at least we were only using one dressing room instead of two. 

As I have gained weight, I found myself timidly modest about undressing in front of my friend. I told her so, and she laughed saying, "As if you are the only one with something to hide!" We tried on the clothes we had brought, admiring some disregarding many.

 

 

Lace bodice

 

 

Going out of the dressing room to exchange sizes, I found a girdle hanging on the rack. I have never in my life tried on a girdle…. but the idea of tucking my excess in, or hiding my chunks made me grabbed it. Then I rushed back into the dressing room to try it on before anyone could see me carrying it.

 

 

(Imagine a photo here.)

(Such as: A Sweet Dumpling or a Chocolate Chew.)

 

As I stuffed my self silly into that tight little contraption, my friend walked in. I was caught between elastic and embarrassment, half stuffed in and most stuff hanging out. My friend raced out, but soon came back in with another size stating, "If the first one doesn't succeed try, try again, or at least another size!" I hadn't thought of that, thinking they were suppose to be tight.

I squeezed every inch of my physical life into the black hole, then stood up, looked at my friend and sang to the tune of A D.J. saved my life…. "Oh how this Girdle saved my life for the first time."

My friend teased, "Ding Dong it is not a girdle, they are called Spanxs!"

Just goes to show you how old I am.

Have you a shopping tale to tell?

 

Comments

35 responses to “The D.J. Saved my Life”

  1. Rhonda

    No, but I love your story! I do have an unlocked bathroom door on an airplane story…..you can imagine my horror I’m sure.

    Reply
  2. somepinkflowers

    {{ you simple must learn
    the Fine Lesson
    of
    Gracefully
    moving up to the Next Size!
    i Hardily
    recommend it…}}

    Reply
  3. Tracy

    Oh Corey, I’m trying to picture that with your hand, pulling up the girdle. You must tell your physical therapist about the experience at your next appointment!

    Reply
  4. kim

    I hate trying on clothes in a store.
    Years ago I was friends with a couple, Wilma and her boyfriend, Lou. Lou was an old New Yawker and when he overheard Wilma saying that she couldn’t fit into her dress he said in a think NY accent, “Wilma! Get a goydel.”

    Reply
  5. Kathie B

    Hear! Hear!
    Besides, that squeezing on one’s innards can hardly be healthful.

    Reply
  6. Kathie B

    BTW, I’ve NEVER owned a girdle (not that most people wouldn’t think I need one, but I don’t care!). And owing to declining health, any sort of shopping has become an ordeal in recent years. Whenever possible, I shop online — L.L. Bean’s sale department knows me well 🙂

    Reply
  7. g

    corey-you surely are perfect every inch of you just the way you are-regular routines and rythms will return with each day of that healing wrist -what has been acquired during this time— will be lost-hang in there! -you really didn’t look any different in the wedding pictures last week-shopping for cloths does not excite me unless they are in a second hand store, consignment store or thrift store. acceptence….i think that is the key stay well all good thoughts….always

    Reply
  8. Paula S In New Mexico

    I bought three pair of Levi jeans this weekend. The ones that stretch……
    Most times my husband shops with me. It is really great because I go to the fitting room and he does the running back and forth for me. By the end of the session all the sales staff know him. It is a hoot! It is fun because I can try on twice as many items in the same amount of time.
    I have the spanx with the bra attached for under dresses…..it does help smooth things out and my work dresses hang nicer.
    My big personal challenge was met this weekend with a trip to the local pool with my grand daughter. I decided once I got in the water no one would see me anyway. Much to my delight I was not the only one with some extra pounds and best of all I got to splash around with Iris. At least she didn’t say “oh grandma you are fat!”……she has before so I was holding my breath!

    Reply
  9. Annette

    Exercise. It pays. That’s how I got into jeans I never imagined before. Sooo happy!!

    Reply
  10. denise

    yes,i have two. i was grocery shopping one day with my grandkids and i asked, should we buy some wieners for lunch. what are wieners,they asked? i said, oh come on i know you kids know what that is, your mom gives them to you. finally,after discussing it, they are wieners, they are hot dogs. oh big deal! another story was i was shopping in a new store and asked where the anklets were. the clerk did not know what i was talking about. she was much younger that i. anyway, after some discussion, i found them and they are no longer anklets. Bestest,Denise

    Reply
  11. Cheryl ~ Casual Cottage Chic

    I only buy clothes online or from a catalog so I can try them on at home. Some go back but I’m pretty good now at selecting the right items to keep 😉 I HATE clothes shopping; very depressing as most items I admire are made for the skinny gals. And I’m not a big fan of clothes that look like rags but are supposed to be so chic and popular. So, I tend to wear the same clothes over and over. I have a few Spanx bras and some of their pantyhose for “special occasions”. I think Oprah endorsed them once on her show and they became very popular here in the USA.

    Reply
  12. Cheryl ~ Casual Cottage Chic

    LOL!!!

    Reply
  13. Amy Kortuem

    Ask my mother about the time I was so very, very, very, very done with Christmas shopping that I did a swan dive into the feather pillow display at Macy’s and refused to get up until she promised me we could leave the mall and go have dinner.
    (this was long, long ago…ahem)

    Reply
  14. Laura

    LOVE THIS POST. So funny and the idea of the photo is wonderful. You have a good friend, by the way.
    Try Dukan Diet – amazing results. Every pre and post menopausal woman is doing it at work and we are all melting off the pounds or kilos – either way, they are gone.
    In any event, you are beautiful as is, so don’t worry.
    Yes, I own Spanx too . . . and remember girdles as well.

    Reply
  15. Marilyn

    How fun to shop with a good friend that can inform you they are Spanxs. No good shopping stories here, but I loved yours.

    Reply
  16. cynthia wolff

    Try and love yourself whatever size you are. my weight has been a roller coaster my whole life…now I’m all about being fit and achieve that through yoga. i might get a little chubby once in awhile but at least I’m strong. not bad for an old gal of 59.

    Reply
  17. Jeannie

    Ahem, I have never owned a pair of Spanx. Not that I shouldn’t, I should! I grew up during the era of garter belts (for the skinny minnies) and girdles. I swore I would never wear them again once control top pantyhose came out. As Popeye says, I am what I am. (Of course, if I ever get on a sinking ship, I do have my own floatation device! LOL!) Shopping with a friend is so much fun. Quick story: Shopping with my Mom and Sister, sharing a dressing room. Mom + me, then Sis + Mom. Mom finally had it. Girls, you both need showers! I can’t stand to be in here with you any longer! We were both stunned! My mother never talks about body odor, body functions, etc. Well, a few days later, again taking Mom shopping, I noticed an odor. Hmmm-visualize Agatha Christie on a case. Mom, what is in your purse? What? Open your purse! Yes, a doggy bag from 3 weeks before when I had taken her out for fish & chips!!! Thirty years ago, and we still tease her about it.

    Reply
  18. Becky F

    Not a shopping tale, but a spanx story. This past spring we were in St Louis for a niece’s wedding. I had rented 2 adjoining rooms for our family of 5. We had our formal family pictures taken early and then had about 2 hours before we had to leave for the ceremony. We all came back up to the rooms to relax. I of course couldn’t wait to take the spanx off. I had taken my dress off and as I was bending forward and pulling my spanx off my underwear came off at the same time (I know you don’t have to wear underwear with them but I always do)! The same time as I was inadvertently shooting a full moon my 22 year old son walked into the room. He immediately turned around without saying a word and walked out. I of course started screaming. My husband who was sitting in the chair reading a book said, “what’s the big deal he has seen you in your underwear before.” I agreed that he has seen me in my underwear, but never bent over with a fully exposed bottom! “Ohhhh”, my husband replied. My son has never spoken about the incident. I’m hoping he was temporarily blinded by the luminous sight and has totally forgotten about it!

    Reply
  19. Zosia

    Scarlett O’Hara telling Mammy to pull tighter and tighter on the back strings of her girdle while holding to the post of the bed :-D.
    I once bought pantyhose with control top by mistake. I had to wear them because I didn’t have other ones that day and thought I would die in them, so I don’t think that Spanx is for me no matter how much chocolate and cakes I’ll eat.

    Reply
  20. Gretchen Seibert

    When I was shopping with my sister for a wedding dress, we cracked each other up by saying, “Ten pounds of sugar in a five pound sack!”

    Reply
  21. Tamra /The Gilded Barn

    Hilarious! I’ve bought one for the first time ever, this month. My daughter is getting married Saturday and when my sister in law and I were dress shopping she grabbed one off the rack that was the whole deal, strapless bra included and insisted I try it on with my dress.
    What a job! I pulled, I tugged, I heaved I ho’d!! After awhile I just hollered out “I’m gonna need some help in here!” My sweet SIL came in and as only a “sister” can do she laughed then spun me around grabbed the back, gave three huge tugs almost lifting my heels off the ground, spun me back around, rearranged my boobs into the bra stepped back and said “How’s that?” I said, “Great, but I need a rest”. We both giggled until we about peed. But I have to admit, what a difference it makes! My husband calls it the “Push/Pull” which makes me laugh every time.
    When scheduling our day for getting ready this Saturday I’ve allowed a whole half hour to get the darn thing on! lol

    Reply
  22. bramble

    Oh Corey this made me laugh! We just need a more mature size! It also made me think about when I got married and was told I needed a long line “foundation” and a fitting for one. Imagine my surprise to find out the “fitter” was going to “inspect” me and refer to the job at hand as “conquering Mt. Everest”. Yes, I was mortified and a 100 shades of red!I weighed 120 lbs at the time so how much of a “mountainous region” could I have had?!!! And it just got worse from that point on!

    Reply
  23. Franca Bollo

    Is the Dukan diet anything like the Dunkin’ Donut Diet? I’d be up for that!

    Reply
  24. terri

    And here I thought you were a French sophisticate! LOL You’re a babe in arms! LOL
    Did you buy the spanx??

    Reply
  25. Ruth

    First of all, when celebrities cop to wearing spanxx I think we can all breath a sigh of relief and buy a backup pair. Secondly, that lace is breathtaking. Nothing like that to be found in the beautiful Midwest but a girl can dream

    Reply
  26. melly

    My kind of woman….I will take a Dunkin’ Donut Diet any day!

    Reply
  27. Laura

    Your story made me chuckle and remember getting stuck in a sweater. I couldn’t get my arm/shoulder out and everything was stuck in the neck hole. I was laughing so hard! My mom was in the next dressing room and had to set me free!!! I was not a child either!!!

    Reply
  28. meredith

    You are a funny gal!
    I once went swimsuit shopping with a big-chested friend (I am quite the opposite). We had side by side dressing rooms and a sales lady was bringing us identical suits to try on. Once we had them on, we come out to look in the mirror. The results were so so funny. A man in the dressing room waiting for his wife ended up laughing hysterically with us as we saw that the same suit DOES NOT look the same on two very different bodies.

    Reply
  29. Brenda, Walker, LA, USA

    Clothes shopping has to be planned and I must be psyched for it, I think shopping with a friend could be fun, or not!

    Reply
  30. Cathy J.

    Spanx are a girl’s best friend since Oprah introduced them on her show. They can make that dress or skirt that’s a little tight around the edges look great. Spanx offers more than trying to suck it in does. Have a great week Corey!

    Reply
  31. Rainy

    What a great friend to go shopping with. Makes the day seem brighter.

    Reply
  32. Alan

    Do they make manspanx? Diet and exercise is no way to go through life.

    Reply
  33. Kathie B

    Hmmm, I wonder if this is a cultural thang… Did you know that in New England, a significant proportion of the Dunkin’ Donuts franchises are run by Azorean-Americans?
    I remember at the end of my first flight to the Azores seeing a family deplane with me in Ponta Delgada, São Miguel, who had a string-tied stack of at least 6 huge sheetcake-sized Dunkin’ boxes they’d brought from the Boston area — so many I figured they were either for an arrival party or to go into the freezer!
    BTW, Dunkin’ is so massively popular in Southeast New England that when the storied Canadian Tim Horton’s doughnut franchise — best known to Americans who’ve seen their logo on ice rink boards during hockey or figure skating telecasts — tried to break into the market in order to compete, they failed to make a significant dent into the Dunkin’ stronghold, eventually beating a path of retreat back to Ontario!

    Reply
  34. Elaine L.

    My husband NEVER tries on clothing. He gets it home and if it doesn’t fit he takes it back. Men seem to be able to pee faster than us and hence don’t have a line to the men’s room.
    BeWARE the Spanx, they seem heaven sent at first, but try wearing one throughout a whole evening. Believe me you won’t enjoy your food. LOL
    ~elaine

    Reply
  35. Gail

    Hilarious! Thanks for sharing! PS Alan, I think spanx does make men’s products too!

    Reply

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