Friday Fille Number Three

Friday fille 3

 

Friday Fille

Unfocused photo from behind, but not to far behind.

 

 

Fashion issue

 

My mother and I are going shopping today. Usually, ever Friday she goes brocanting for her antique shop. Today is an exception to the rule, we are going clothes shopping which is not high on her list.

 

Years ago after a long hot day of working outside, wearing whatever and not fashionable we went shopping. It was late. Entering the shop the sales lady quickly gave us the once over, judging us unworthy of her time. My mother who despises clothes shopping wanted to leave the moment her feet entered the shop, though I pushed her into a dressing room and told her to wait. I came back a few minutes later with armfuls of clothes for her to try on.

One by one my mother tried on the different pieces, one by one I brought more things in. One by one she was delightfully surprised that everything fit, we walked out of the dressing room with arms full of clothing. The sales lady who was looking down her nose in our direction asked, "Can I put everything away for you?"

We shook our heads, "No, we are buying it."

"All of it?" The sales lady exclaimed!

My mom and I looked at each other, not so well dressed and rugged from a day well spent working outside, "Yes." We giggled.

When we arrived home we gave a fashion show for my dad he was pleased that my mom and finally gone shopping, he gleefully said, "You two should go shoping more often, I can see how much fun you too had, look how beautiful you are!"

Each time I came home from France my dad would give my mom a nudge, saying, "Dolores you should go shopping with your daughter." But my mother would wrinkle her nose, shake her head and say, "No, its okay, I have plenty." Though in actuality, her distaste for shopping remained, even though we held the memory of our "Big Shopping Day" high on our favorite memory list.

Since that infamous day, over twenty five years ago, we only went clothes shopping together one other time… the day after my Father died.

I remember it well…. my brother Marty drove us to shop after shop. I would jump out of the car, as he drove around the block. Peeking into one shop after another, giving it a once over. Then I would run back to the car telling him to drive on to another. I promised my mother that when I found a shop that had some clothes for her, she could then go into the dressing room and I would bring her clothes to try on. There wasn't enough energy for her to waste her time, if there wasn't a reason for her to go in. My mother sat sadly, motionless, while my brother drove from one shop to the next.

A few shops later I found one that had clothing in my mother's style. My brother parked the car, then lead my Mother straight into a dressing room. My sister in law Suzy sat with her as I went around the shop grabbing everything black that I could find. I didn't bother to look at sizes figuring if my mother liked something I could find the right size later.

 

I do believe my father had a hand on it that day… because miraculously everything I brought in fit her like a glove. Twenty, thirty, forty or so items later she had a new wardrobe for mourning. A dress for the funeral, a dress for her first grand daughter's graduation, dresses for the days to come, and for the Sunday masses she would attend. My mother needn't shop for a year or more, she needn't bother herself about the thing she disliked the most: clothes shopping. It was a sad day full of bittersweet blessings.

Oddily in the distant somewhere only moments behind us I could feel my dad beaming because we went shopping together. I thought that I heard him say, "Beautiful."

Today we are going shopping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Comments

33 responses to “Friday Fille Number Three”

  1. So touching. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Corey,
    What a lovely story.
    I hope today you are shopping with for the wedding and under much happier circumstances. I hope your dad’s spirit will guide you both from shop to shop buying “perfect fits” along the way.
    Have fun!

  3. Beautiful!

  4. Oh – another really lovely post. You have such a great family and you are a blessing to them, I’m sure.
    I used to be a shopaholic. I just loved clothes shopping but now I almost could care less. Almost. My new mantra…”I have enough.”

  5. Very touching.

  6. Thanks for sharing two such precious memories. Enjoy your shopping together!

  7. What special memories! Thanks for sharing these stories, I only remember shopping with my mom when I was growing up not as an adult.

  8. This is such a touching family moment. thank you for sharing

  9. Fabulous.

  10. up from your heart and out of your mouth…

  11. A beautiful tale about a sad time. I had to do the same thing the day after my beloved father died. 7 months pregnant and crushed by grief. Having someone like you along would have been a blessing. Thanks

  12. As your Father said….”Beautiful”…,your stories are told with such tenderness and love. The wonderful part about them, they are true. xo jody

  13. Reminder to me, not to wait for the tragedy to share experiences with my mother. I remember a similar shopping trip, but for me on the day after my sister died. I was 14 and I didn’t own a dress. A friend had to open her dress shop for me to find something. It was Memorial Day weekend and the shop had closed for the holiday — quite a difference from the sales they have now on holidays. I’m sure your dad will be with you on this trip too.

  14. becky up a hill

    Sweet lovely story.

  15. Denise Moulun-Pasek

    Corey, a story to make the heart ache with compassion and knowing. Bravo good daughter! I like to think I was that way too…

  16. Oooh, Corey! Fond memories of going shopping over to The City in my teens and early 20s — a special expedition necessitating serious dressing up.

  17. I only wish I’d had this experience with my mom! Haven’t gone clothes shopping in over five years. No desire. What for? Thank you for a beautiful story!!!

  18. I even remember, when I was still quite little, my mother decking me out in a little navy skirt-suit — there was no other kind for females yet! — pale pink blouse, hat and gloves, and taking me on my first ride on the Key System “F” train across the lower deck of the Bay Bridge, then making our way from the Trans-Bay Terminal to the Ferry Building, where she bought books at the USGS.

  19. Most of my life I loved to clothes-shop — and especially to shop for fabrics in order to make my own garments; my mother sewed for me when I was little, then trained me in both these arts throughout my later childhood — skills that stood me in good stead for most of my adult life. But all that came crashing to an end with my illness. Now I just order simple ready-to-wear separates online (LL Bean’s online sale page knows me well!). I also have a few vintage items — especially in UltraSuede, which back in the ’70s and ’80s I never could’ve afforded new — that I snagged on eBay in its early days, that are not only American made but actually have the UNION LABEL in them. My union family would have been so proud!!!

  20. Me too. Perhaps we’re just getting older but wiser — that’s my story and I’m sticking to it 🙂

  21. This is precious. You are a lovely daughter and I’m sure your Mom is thrilled to be shopping with you again.

  22. More from me — I was sitting here thinking about shopping with Moms and realized that the last really great shopping trip I had with my Mom was for my daughter’s wedding. We went to good ol’ J.C. Penneys and found her a sweet dress with jacket in lavender.
    My Mom has Alzheimer’s and her shopping days are behind her. Thanks for this post because I’m remembering our lovely day together and the joy we shared.

  23. Brenda L. from TN.

    A BEAUTIFUL story…so sorry about your Dad…I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 24…a young mom of two…
    I’m happy you still have your Mom and all of your memories to share.

  24. Well, you ladies ARE beautiful. Mom likes really casual (sweatshirts) and I’m more in to tailored fitted stuff. It can be a challenge but fun. If Mom wants to get a reaction from me all she has to say “I have to get a new bra, want to go shopping”? Last time it took her over an hour to select one.
    So touching the stories of yourself and others going shopping for mourning clothes. Please give Mrs. A a big hug.

  25. Corey, your story brought tears to my eyes, such a loving father you had and such a loving daughter you are!!!

  26. Violet Cadburry

    What a lovely ensemble you are wearing in your picture, I love the interplay of shapes and bare skin. Funny, I can’t remember ever clothes shopping with my mother except when I was a teenager and it was a big drama. Have fun and buy something totally frivolous.

  27. Paula S In New Mexico

    Oh Corey, how sweet and tender. Makes me wish I could take my mom shopping today. She is so feeble it now takes a wheel chair but next time I go for a visit, we will shop!!!

  28. Marie-Noëlle

    Beautiful post… tender, funny, … and moving.
    Hope you’ve enjoyed your day together. Bet your father was happy too !

  29. Remembering your Dad, thinking about my parents, wishing I could go shopping with my mom. You brought a tear to my eye today.

  30. Shelley Noble

    Oh sweet heavens, Corey. That was so moving. You have such a heart to notice these moments and their importance.

  31. Natalie Thiele

    Doing anything with my mom was a treat. She was not a store shopper, she was a garage saler. I lke them, too, but I also love shopping for clothes in stores.
    My father used to buy Mother the most beautiful things, she wouldn’t spend money the way he would. I’m glad he did.
    They’re both gone now…
    Your black dress and varying necklines look fabulous, by the way.

  32. Corey…
    this brings tears to my eyes.
    Your mother is beautiful!

  33. I do agree with Holly. She is beautiful!

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