Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Do you parlez merde ou pas?

http://willows95988.typepad.com/tongue_cheek/images/2007/05/19/ribbon_on_husband.jpg

(Photographs on this blog by Corey Amaro unless stated otherwise.)

 

 

Why doesn't French Husband speak French to me? Really after twenty four years you would think he would… and if he can say to me, "Rubber Beer" for Root Beer, "Bob Lights" for Light Bulbs, and "F-ck" for Fork, I should be able to attempt the same faux pas with him.

 

 

Paelle spanish

(Our good friend, Philippe a few summers ago remember him?)

 

 

 

Our good friend Philippe, came to dinner last night. I was in the other room when I heard him whisper to French Husband, "Do you ever speak French to Corey?"

I heard French Husband clear his throat, I could hear his brain twist and turn thinking how he was going to answer that one, then he began, "Well, actually…" and before he could utter another word I shouted out for him, "NO HE DOES NOT…EVER!" because I am impulsive like that.

Our friend laughed and laughed, in which case I asked, "What is funny? Nothing Funny here. French Husband is tête tu, incapable, to speak French with me! UUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRgh!!"

And our friend laughed harder and mustered, "Oh la la! Chaud, tres chaud!" And I added, "Pas chaud…. Bouillant!"

French Husband remained silent with a boyish grin, that didn't melt my heart.

Our friend, seeing he had put his foot dans une situation delicate, offered, "Alors, Corey if you spoke French to Yann, well then my English would not improve, as I wouldn't have anyone to practice my English with…."

"Traître!" I teased.

After which we sat around the kitchen table and had dinner.

We spoke at length about the elections, vacations, work, love and why the two of them do not speak French to me…

Yann spoke French to our friend,

Our friend spoke English to me,

They spoke French to each other

 

I spoke Franglaise to them, comme d'habitude.

 

 

Pink dance

 

 

 

Life is never dull.

Life is full of surprises.

Life calls you in many ways–

as my Father use to say, "Though, hopefully not late for dinner…"

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Jeudi, Vendredi, Samedi

Brocante day, ce soir ou jamais…..

Does it matter how you sing it?

I guess it only matters if you don't understand.

Sign language?

 

Notes (Click on the following links to read more…)

 

Malta view from the cruise

Hilarious video (ATTENTION: very bad words repeated) regarding mispronounced words. An Italian goes to Malta, but it could be French Husband at Home.

 

 

Are you there God? Did you ever read this book when you were a pre teen?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Listening. Silence as a voice.

 

 

Photo Source Flickr: Jenni Penni 'its raining hearts'

 

 

Chopin's raindrops

 

 

 

 

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_ajwrFQu8Yc0/TKu28d4NUTI/AAAAAAAAL9A/W2-L6UT_SEM/TwigHutchinson3%5B5%5D.jpg

Photo Source Twig Hutchinson

 

 

"A parable about why human beings have two ears but only one tongue. Why is this? Probably so that we have to listen twice as much as we speak." Henning Mankell

 

 

Comments

25 responses to “Do you parlez merde ou pas?”

  1. Linda

    Sounds like my meals with French people here. A big mix of French and English. And, as you know, my husband doesn’t speak French to me either.

    Reply
  2. Julie M ~ The Little Red Shop

    Yes, I read it. I first read your post as if he DOES speak French to you and thus, Philippe’s question was a commentary on YOUR French. Boy, I can’t even read Engish…my native tongue. My great grandmother spoke Swenglish. I dated a Greek…and you know what they say about that.
    Happy New Jour!
    : )
    Julie Marie

    Reply
  3. Tongue in Cheek

    Dang those guys of ours!!

    Reply
  4. Julie M ~ The Little Red Shop

    ps I just saw my typo and cracked myself up.

    Reply
  5. Zosia

    Understanding does not come from speaking the same language. You are doing fine with your Franglais. Sometimes there could be a huge gap even if people speak the same language.

    Reply
  6. *Fleaing France*

    Oui…..merde is a part I understand! My French stops the minute mine walks in the door. I can completely understand his fumbles of the English language but I get odd stares or the ” I do not understand what you say” when he doesn’t feel like trying to understand or maybe just doesn’t want to listen! Keep speaking French Corey!!!!!!

    Reply
  7. Marie-Noëlle

    The video about Malta is really good !
    It reminds me of so many stories about French people speaking English and mistaking words with what we call “long” or “short” vowels, such as in “piece” and “piss”…
    Maybe, one day, in a blog … !?!

    Reply
  8. Marie-Noëlle

    PS- Yes, I DO remember your good friend Philippe, the king of salsa !!!

    Reply
  9. le petit cabinet de curiosites

    We love to speak english with you …

    Reply
  10. Chris Wittmann

    I just envy your ability to speak French! My mom for years tried to get me to learn German and I wanted no part of it. Now I wish I could speak at least one other language. Would love to learn French or Italian. I loved the video about the blind man, that’s incredible. By the way..I bought your beautiful wallpaper samples… I only wish you had more! It’s fabulous!

    Reply
  11. Kathie B

    When I’m communicating with native Lusophone friends (whether in conversation or by email), it usually winds up being a mash-up of English and Portuguese. Most of the time they’re tactful about what I’m sure are my mistakes in Portuguese (assuming they can figure out what I’m trying to say in the first place!) — although they’re merciful enough to correct me if I accidentally say something that makes no sense whatsoever, or (in a few cases) it has a seriously off-color colloquial double meaning that I shouldn’t ever use again! And I try to reciprocate WRT their English. But it’s always important to try NOT to hurt the other person’s feelings in the process.

    Reply
  12. Jean(ne) P in MN

    Everything in your post speaks to me today. There was a lot of franglais in our house and my bro-in-law still speaks only English to me even tho I want to stay fluent in French. You are in synch with French-word-a-day today, too. Also, Henning Mankell has it right!

    Reply
  13. Kathie B

    P.S. My most embarrassing occasion thus far was the time I used a word which, according to my Portuguese-English translating dictionary, meant “brooch” (i.e., a decorative pin). A male friend in the Azores informed me as diplomatically as possible that it also had a very dirty double meaning as a, um, certain lady-part, and that the term is never used in polite (mixed) company. Lesson learned. What I really need is a Portuguese version of the “Urban Dictionary”!!!

    Reply
  14. Monica

    Mine speaks English to me and I respond in French. And when I get mad and speak only English he only responds in French…gotta love ’em in any language. 🙂

    Reply
  15. martina

    The fella and I speak English(we’ve always lived in the U.S.) and we still don’t understand each other some times!
    Love the sign video especially oh and Yann(?) with the pink wig.

    Reply
  16. Annie v.

    Confusion, confusion, I was always confused when I came to the US ,now seal in french is phoque try saying this in english, or when my husband asked me for french toasts and I took a piece of bread and put it in the toaster, thinking he was making a joke!!!many more…
    Annie v,

    Reply
  17. Laurie SF

    Whisper naughty French into FH’s ear. He’ll respond in French.

    Reply
  18. Franca Bollo

    Do I parlez merde ou pas? All I can say with any certainty is mon français sounds comme la merde.

    Reply
  19. Franca Bollo

    This reminds me of the time my sisters were riding in the car with my father. It must have been the mid 70s because Labelle’s “Lady Marmalade” was playing on the radio. After the chorus, “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?” was sung, My dad translated the phrase … much to our horror. He was stationed in Lyon during WWII and had apparently learned a little French. Zut alors.

    Reply
  20. Kathie B

    “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?” also constituted a plot line in an episode of “Friends,” where it was allegedly the only French that Monica knew. Sacre bleu!

    Reply
  21. Lynn

    The merde version, of course!

    Reply
  22. LA CONTESSA

    You and I share a lot in common!Italian husband doesnot speak ITALIAN with me either!He speaks to our SONS,but to me always in English!
    Loved the video…………..words are POWERFUL!
    Tomorrow should be a brocante day for you!Are you off and running?!!

    Reply
  23. Arkansas Motorcycle Trips

    Hi Corey. I found your sight through your post on your Dad’s garage, which was so well written and took me back to may youth when I learned my trade (mechanic) in my father’s shop in Chicago. This got me reading many of your posts, which I really enjoyed. You should be writing a book!

    Reply
  24. Brenda L. from TN.

    Loved the video about the blind man and the Italian who went to Malta…very much LOL! on that one!
    Does FH speak very good English? Maybe he thinks you speak better French than he does English and that’s why he only speaks English to you…you don’t need the practice and he does.???

    Reply
  25. Brenda L. from TN.

    but still…after 24 yesrs????

    Reply

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