Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Coming Home

Vars 2014

We have been in Vars skiing, snuggling, drinking chocolate and wine and watching it snow. And did it snow. 

This morning French Husband shoveled the car out of the snow as I stared at the road ahead, "Honey I don't see any movement on the road. Well, unless you count the crazy person pushing a stroller!"

French Husband kept digging, "We have chains. Don't worry."

But given the news about Shelley worry or should I say "Precious Life", has been a constant partner in my thoughts. "Maybe we should just stay put?"

He continued to shovel. So my thoughts went from worry to precious life, to prayer, to wondering if I could "feel" Shelley near me, to thinking about my dad… and then serenity came waltzing in, and I let it soak me through and through.

Has that ever happened to you? Where in the middle of great concern or sadness a wave of calm washes over you? During those moments I like to think someone somewhere is sending me a hug, a prayer, a good thought and I melt into it. Thank YOU.

 

 

Coming home Vars France

 

If the car was a wooden sled with lanterns on the side, pulled by horses with bells along their reins, if I had a beautiful red velvet cape, and on our laps we had woolen quilts and plush pillows against our backs, if French Husband had a moustache that curled at the ends, if we had vin chaud and the moon lite our path….

Instead, I had the theme song of Doctor Zhivago playing in my head.

Isn't it like that? Certain things bring up certain songs.

 

 

Snow covered vars

 

Usually, the trip to Vars and from our home takes less than three hours.

Today it took over six. 

The entire way I thought about whether I should go home for Shelley's funeral. God knows I want to. "Sense and Sensibility" as a friend recently described to me when she had to make a decision, the heart, and the mind standoff… 

Oh, the flip side of living far from where I grew up. 

Six hours, most of it spent covered in a blanket of white, deep in thought, in a reflective silence while Yann drove. 

 

Vars France snow

 

 

On the mountain,vars France

 

Vars snow-covered mountain.

We are home. Shelley is home.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But I know where my heart will be. 

 

 

More information about Vars…

Hotels in Vars

if you are brave: You can stay in an ingloo!

On top of the hill, Le Chaudron Restaurant.

 

Comments

22 responses to “Coming Home”

  1. nancy w

    Dear Corey
    I think perhaps home is where you need to be right now. Right where you are. So sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. Wrapping you all in prayers.

    Reply
  2. carol

    Dear Corey,
    I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    carol

    Reply
  3. kelleyn

    Glad you made it home safe! Sorry you are so torn about what to do in regards to your friend. Sending prayers!

    Reply
  4. g

    a very tender post-peaceful in nature-a foot in two worlds-I wrap you and shelly’s family in the same tenderness thought and peaceful prayers…

    Reply
  5. Rhonda

    I am so sorry for your loss, Corey. I know someone was there with you, wrapping their arms around you.

    Reply
  6. Janet with Eiffel

    When you wrote that serenity came waltzing in……
    That reminded me of something my Grandmother
    said to me when I was grieving terribly
    over the death of my Grandfather.
    She said I needed to sit very still and
    let all the pain catch up to me and get
    it all over with so I could enjoy my
    memories of loving and being loved by
    my Grandfather.
    She was right.
    I remember that moment of serenity and
    still hold on to it.
    I wish for you to carry that serenity with
    every thought you have of Shelley.

    Reply
  7. Shelley Noble

    Corey, that third photo down is the most poetic image of real life I’ve seen! Spectacularly wintery and magical.
    Pure Peace.

    Reply
  8. carol

    Dear Corey,
    I don’t recall having had that exact experience, but I do know that when my son died I don’t think I’d have survived without the prayers said for our family.
    Wishing you peace as you make your difficult decision. Prayers continue for you sweet lady.
    Such beautiful pictures today. Thank you.

    Reply
  9. joanny

    when faced with a difficult decision, only the heart knows what to do,,, trust your intuition~instincts

    Reply
  10. M

    Yes, it does happen, that wave of calm and peace, bringing solace and companionship in the midst of sadness. I felt it when my father passed away, when my sister died, the two dear friends I lost during these past years. The goodness of the heart remains, love never leaves, reminders that we must go on, taking and living every precious moment. That’s all we got, and we better take up on it, it is our sacred duty.
    Very sweet of you, the link. Merci and much love,
    Merisi

    Reply
  11. TEXAS FRANCOPHILE

    Dear dear Corey I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, I know you are aching. My prayers are for you and Shelley’s family as you travel this journey called “grief”……. My immediate reaction is to suggest that you go to Willows and be with her/your family at her service. You give give give, it is time for Corey to receive receive receive the hugs, the love, you so richly deserve. Xoxo Franco

    Reply
  12. Lois

    That is so true, all of it. Sometimes when I am tired, or blue, and I am walking in the snow a calm washes over me. Like a blessing the snow can be.

    Reply
  13. Jeanne

    My love and prayers are with you as always.
    Again I am very sorry for your loss of your beautiful friend.
    Love Jeanne
    Perhaps they are not stars but openings in Heaven and our loved ones are telling us they are safely HOME♥
    X0X0

    Reply
  14. Jody

    Corey,
    I am so sorry for your loss and am thinking of you and Shelly’s family.

    Reply
  15. Karen Carson

    Take comfort in the fact that you got to be with Shelly when you were home for Christmas and got to spend time with her. She knew you were there then and she knows now too.

    Reply
  16. Kim

    Again.
    ***hugs***
    I live far away from my friends and family, too. I am middle aged. The losses are starting to happen and I face the same difficult decisions. I feel for you. But I do think it’s important that you spent time with Shelley when she was alive and she absolutely knew that you loved her and were in her corner.

    Reply
  17. Chico Sue

    Dear Corey, Whatever your decision, I hope you may take comfort in the memory of the greatest gift you had for Shelly while she was alive and that was of your generous and loving friendship.

    Reply
  18. Alena

    Dear Corey, I am so sorry for your loss.
    Thinking of you, Shelley’s family.
    Many hugs and prayers.

    Reply
  19. Kathie B

    Dear Corey,
    I know that in your heart of hearts what you really want more than anything right now is to be with Shelley’s family.
    But if it’s not feasible, please know that like you I’ve suffered the pain of being at too far a distance from loved ones of those who’ve died thousands of miles away, too — and the one consolation of going to visit later is that the survivors won’t be in such a frantic mode trying to handle so many arrangements all at once, as well as having to divide their attentions among a large number of friends and family all at the same time.
    When an old school friend’s mother died in California several years ago, I was unable to visit until 6 weeks later, By then my friend was really glad of the company (I stayed at her house), because first of all the emptiness was getting to her,* and besides most everyone else had already returned to their daily lives so she was pretty much alone with her sorrow, the numbness of which was wearing off as full grief began to set in.
    So she & I were able to spend a lot of time talking about her mom, doing some initial clearing of her mom’s house, taking care of her mom’s several cats as well as her own (she was in the process of integrating the felines, which was no small adventure) — as well as watching TV, going out for dinner, running errands, and just generally laughing ourselves silly at times (betcha didn’t think I had it in me!).
    * She’d moved her mom to her (the daughter’s) house for home hospice care the last several wks.
    So please just know that whatever you decide to do, you’ll surely make it for the best.
    Abraços, Kathie.

    Reply
  20. RebeccaNYC

    Oh, yes. When my dear friend Rosella lost her battle with breast cancer this past May, at the age of 55, I mourned and mourned. Then, all of a sudden, she was with me, comforting me as only she could ever do. It’s hard to explain, so I don’t try. But I believe Shelley is with you, and your Dad is with you, and all your loved ones who have passed are with you. Let their memory (and their presence!) be a blessing.

    Reply
  21. Teresa Young

    I’ve typed many thoughts and then erased them…my thoughts and prayers are with you in your sorrow. xox

    Reply
  22. Irina

    Corey, I’m so sorry for your loss.
    Shelley is so beautiful (I cannot say was)!
    I used to think -“how people can smile talking about dear ones who just died?”. I know now. I feel sad thinking about my mom and then all of a sudden there is a warm hug around me, she doesn’t want me to be sad. And I know my mom is looking at me and sending me her love.
    I’m crying.
    So sorry again. I know you will treasure the memories of Shelley forever.

    Reply

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