Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Do Something That Scares You….

Last night we went to dinner at some friend's home. They had a little white fluffy dog that they said was eighteen months old. It looked sweet, so I wasn't afraid to be in the same room as it. As the evening progressed we went and sat around the coffee table for an aperitif. That is when the little white fluffy dog came up and leaned against my leg. I froze, thinking, "What is happening? What is it doing? Do I look like an aperitif?" Then as I was freaking out in my head, that little white fluffy dog turned around, as if to say hi, it was sweet I must admit, I did my best to smile back, but it looked more like this:

 

Fearful smile

At that point I stopped breathing.

 

 

Then within a split second that little white fluffy dog jumped up and sat on my lap! I nearly died right then and there. It curled up as if it found a new place to take a snooze. The owners were unaware that I was afraid, until the saw that I was not able to move, frozen right then and there like the ice in their drinks.

 

 

Freak out

The little white fluffy dog's nap was short lived, I was relieved thinking okay it is going to get off my lap, BUT NO, that tricky dog put on paw on one shoulder of mine, and the other on my other shoulder. Speechless, breathless, I balled up my hands and slowly put them under my lap, it looked at me right in the eye. I dare not blink. Yann said, "That is a first!" Our friends added, like all dog owners do, "Do not be afraid, he is a nice dog." I couldn't utter a word, what I wanted to say was, "Yeah all dog owners say that. Your little white fluffy dog might be nice, that is not the problem, the problem is I am terrified!" Actually deeper down I wanted to scream, "HELP!!!" The little white fluffy dog kept looking at me, I swear it wanted to lick my face, maybe it knew that if it did I would die. Thankfully it didn't.

 

But now, the morning after, I feel I have "JUMPED" over a big hurdle. That is not to say I am not afraid of dogs anymore, or am going to start cuddling dogs, or even touching them, but a little less afraid, which is good. I didn't do something that scared me, the little white fluffy dog did something that scared me, and in a way I am thankful.

A little bit but not a lot.

 
 
 

Comments

41 responses to “Do Something That Scares You….”

  1. Jacklynn Lantry

    I have a little, white, fluffy dog. Look into their eyes (only the friendly ones, never do a stare down with a dog you don’t know.) They are so pure and honest, you know-toute de suite-that they want nothing but kindness and love. Actually, they are quite like you are Miss C.

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  2. Judy in Fort Worth

    good for you, Corey! tackle those fears! being a dog/cat/bird – lover, the only thing on God’s green earth that frightens me are snakes !

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  3. Kipper

    Excellent! Maybe petit chien could sense your caution and was trying to teach you to not be fearful of dogs.

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  4. Iowa Julie

    Even though I am a dog-lover and could not imagine a dogless life, I respect that you have a phobia for dogs, and that it is no joke. Phobias, though often irrational, feel terrible to one who has a phobia–I am so sorry that you were so frightened by the little dog. But dogs often understand people’s feelings, and I think the little dog was trying to assure you that you need not fear him. Years ago our son suffered from depression and had to come home to live for a while. Our large dog, Ellie, who had not yet met him, jumped up on the couch and laid with him and would not leave his side as he recovered. She comforted him. This same dog brought me a baby bunny to raise who did not yet even have fur. Unharmed, so gently she carried it in her mouth and laid it at my feet. This is the dog who is afraid of strangers but who pulled me thru a crowd on the River Walk in Savannah, GA, to greet a 12-yr-old girl with cerebral palsey who was pushed in a wheelchair by her mother. This is the dog who stood like a statue when I took her to the nursing home to cheer the patients and allow them to pet her. That little white dog was encouraging you, Cory. It is okay if you are still afraid, but I think the little dog was trying to help you.

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  5. nancy wright

    I am so sorry that you were frightened. Most of us are afraid of something..with me it is heights. It is best you try to conquer your fear with a dog known to you and in a quiet scenario. I think you are very brave and if you think back to not very long ago when you would not even have been able to be in the same room with a dog, well then you will be able to congratulate yourself on your progress. It takes time to overcome a (long held) fear. Baby steps brave Corey.

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  6. pc brown

    Wahoo for conquering a fear!
    That said. Reading this made *my* heart race. I have been in that exact place, with another ‘perfectly friendly, very intuitive, sweet dog’ and frankly- *I* didn’t fare as well or as graceful as you. I kind of lost it. I froze, I couldn’t breathe, and although everyone was assuring me it was just fine, having that sweet (and yes I do know just how cute that little dog was! adorable! from the other side of a window) little face breathing on me and trying to lick me sent me over the edge. I started to do that silent cry, the one with no noise, but alligator tears rolling down my face, and then yup, I peed a little. That was lovely on so many levels. I felt like the center of attention, attention I did not ask for nor want, and being in that moment made me lose a bit of trust for the folks I was with.
    I understand allowing the dog to “help” -to a point, but putting someone who has let someone know – even in the very moment it is happening, that they have a fear -however irrational- and for those friends to allow it to continue, is to me, completely unfair. All it would take to help me out was for someone to gently pick up the dog and put him on the floor. Instead they put me (and I feel you) in a position of force, which isn’t helpful.
    I was at another house where this older woman had a mastiff and NO idea I was fearful of dogs. The minute I sat down he walked out from around a corner, sat next to me and leaned in like a giant hug. She could tell immediately that I was scared, I reacted the same way -froze and no breath- yet she got up and called her dog to *her* side, then asked me if I was ok with that or should she take the dog out? As long as the dog was with her I was “ok”. It *is* her home and I was there, so I get that. I SO appreciated that she understood, asked, and allowed me to not have to endure the hug.

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  7. Lilly

    I used to be afraid of dogs too and I think my fear made them appear aggressive rather than friendly. I had to force myself to relax and greet them and I could see that they kind of followed my lead. Like you, I had to make myself relax. Most dogs are sweet and affectionate.

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  8. Susan

    It’s good to be cautious around dogs you don’t know. A fear like yours is understandable, a lot of folks are afraid of dogs.
    I guess if I were in your shoes, I imagine I’d tell my friends right off the bat. So they’d know.
    My experience is that a LOT of people think their dogs are fine, when truly they are NOT. Hence the caution.
    Having said that, I will say this … my dear doggy who is in doggy heaven these past 3 years, was such a sweetheart. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He was calm around kids and adults alike. It made being a dog-owner a LOT easier.
    I’m proud of you, Corey!

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  9. Jen

    Well done! I have a French bulldog who works as a therapy dog and it amazes me how people presume everyone will love her. I always ask permission and keep her back until I get an ok. Fears are so hard to overcome so kudos on your progress. (I had a friend who had a pet snake and I had to end the friendship!)

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  10. Marilyn in Chico, Ca

    We all have something that terrifies us. Luckily my phobia is clowns. I say luckily, because there are so few of them around and I doubt very much one will ever jump in my lap !

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  11. Diogenes

    The world of dogs keeps reaching out its paw to you in love and freindship.
    I know they will win you over eventually, Corey. This was a brave start.
    As poet Emily Dickinson said: “The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.”

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  12. Tara

    I think there’s even a dog in your future…they’ve been a running thread…
    😉

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  13. Marilyn

    Good for you! Caution is still good, especially if they are barking, growling, or showing their teeth; but that little white fluff ball was helping you. Take care and I hope you get to enjoy that little dog again.

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  14. dee

    I can’t imagine what I would do if a snake crawled up on MY lap!! Trust me, I wouldn’t sit there as calmly as you.
    One time I went to a Rummage Sale with my son. He said, “Don’t look down, mom, there’s a snake.” I started screaming and twirling around in circles.” After I had made a complete FOOL out of myself, he said. “just kidding!!!”
    STAY CALM AND CARRY ON, COREY 🙂

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  15. Momof5

    For me it’s spiders! I can’t imagine a life without the love of dogs but I do understand not everyone is a dog lover. When we have people over I know are afraid of our dogs the dogs go outside or to another room. i just read a blog post that made me think of you about a woman who was terribly afraid of dogs but her kids wanted one so she decided to try. They found one on line and went to the shelter to get it but she just couldn’t bring it home. However she couldn’t stop thinking about the dog. They went back a few days later and brought the dog home and she fell completely head over heels in love with that dog. It doesn’t happen with every dog but some just have a way of sneaking into our hearts in unimaginable ways. On the e other hand I dont think I will ever master my fear of spiders.

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  16. Leslie in Oregon

    What you describe does not sound like (merely) being afraid of dogs…it sounds like a full-blown phobia. If you want to live without that phobia, I would respectfully suggest that you consider consulting a mental health professional.

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  17. Ella Dyer

    Well done; it’s always helpful to move outside our comfort zone. Sharing this experience with others so they can be encouraged is even more brave!
    I had the good fortune to be frightened out of my skin the first time I took a flight in a small plane. Okay, the good fortune came when the opportunity arose for me to take some flying lessons, which not only helped me overcome my fear of small planes but anytime I was afraid of something again I remembered I could fly a plane….this obstacle was just a mole hill.
    Volunteer at a dog shelter…even if it is at the front desk for 15 minutes a month and increase until you can take the dogs on a walk (may not be possible in your area) but that may assist.
    This fluffy white dog probably knew you were scared and wanted to help. Revisit him/her again and have a conversation; you’d be surprised how much that may help.
    Again, thank you for your example of courage. Keep up the great work; we’re all afraid of something!
    Ella

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  18. Kiki

    sorry to say that this post had me in stitches, I had to laugh so much, dearest Corey –
    and only yesterday (so literally while you were terrified…) I told my favourite dog story to 4 girlfriends who sat together; they all LOVE cats and none of them (apart from me obviously) is into dogs – but guess who was the only person the cat hovered next to all the time??? And nugged with its head when said person stopped stroking it?…. So, I told them that my tiny dachshund once chose to jump on our friends’ knees and roll up right AFTER he confessed that he is terrified by ‘Tigi’ AND that he was wearing his new white Yves St Laurent suit so DO something that Tigi isn’t jumping up to me…. He hadn’t finished before the dog was rolled up and – miracle oh miracle – he started stroking it, shaking badly – and then he slowly fell in love with it…. So, there IS hope for you Corey – you know of course that they (all animals) can smell your fear and because they are kind dogs, they want to convert you to become friends :))))
    I’m at an age where I fear literally nothing in the ‘animal department’. What I fear mightily are unkind people, people who hurt others (and animals), who are lying, cheating, and I fear that nothing I do is going to cure me of that fear.

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  19. Kiki

    Julie, this is SO beautiful. Thank you – made me cry with thankfulness.

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  20. Kiki

    I also want to encourage you to never think, even if you should become, like me, a dog lover, that you should assume that every dog will love you. I am very cautious around and approaching dogs I don’t know. I never look directly into their eyes and if possible, always ask the owner if I may approach and talk to their pet, stroke it… We mustn’t be silly either way – every dog at one time (hundreds of years back) was a wolf…. and there are genetic triggers in every pet, be it cat, dog, horse – but you are well on your way to overcome your fears. Bravo!
    AND honestly, I wouldn’t have let my dog jump on our friends knees either only it had already happened by the time he finished saying that he was afraid…. and he obviously was less terrified than you – in the end I told him he was more afraid for his white suit than for having the dog on his lap.

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  21. Kiki

    Tara, I thought the same thing – may you be right! 🙂

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  22. Angela Muller

    My mother, a wonderful, loving person, was petrified of dogs (most animals for that matter). She just couldn’t touch them. After I married, I always had dogs and cats, and, so, she learned to be in the same room with them, but never touched them. They sensed that discomfort and usually let her be. Then, one of my dogs developed epilepsy and required medication three times a day. Well, though I never asked this of her, she decided to come to my house during the day to administer his medication. She still couldn’t touch him, but she was there for him five days a week and cried for him on the day he died. We do what we can in this life to show love to all living things, even when we have to step out of our comfort zone.

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  23. Charland

    Huge leap forward for you – accidental though it may be.

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  24. Iowa Julie

    I agree that no one should force their dogs on one who is fearful or who just does not like dogs. I dearly love my dogs, but when guests are in our home the guests are my main priority and the dogs are removed from the social area.

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  25. Iowa Julie

    You obviously understand the joy of a dog, Kiki. We are lucky to share our lives with them.

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  26. Jolene Thornton

    Corey, i think we all do well to face our fears, however, I believe animals should be removed from the social area when one has guests. Not everyone appreciates animals in their laps or in their faces.

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  27. Tongue in Cheek

    beautifully said. and I believe what you said, or at least that is what i say to myself when dogs approach me. one day maybe I won’t be afraidxx

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  28. Tongue in Cheek

    yes baby steps led by a dog(s) eventually I might not be so afraid.

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  29. Tongue in Cheek

    thank you. Sometimes I feel bad for the dog to be taken away and put outside or in another room because of my fear. I am grateful, but at the same time it is bittersweet.

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  30. Tongue in Cheek

    we think alike. it isn’t “fun” to b afraid. and it isn’t something I want to be.

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  31. Tongue in Cheek

    Ditto! And it seems whenever there is a dog, they always come up to me!

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  32. Tongue in Cheek

    Sorry to hear about your dog. I use to tell people. But now I am not as afraid to be in the same room. Baby steps.

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  33. Tongue in Cheek

    that last line was unexpected! Fears are real and managing them are not easy if those you care about do not understand.

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  34. Tongue in Cheek

    Clowns? I have heard that before, and could see why. Halloween costumes too?

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  35. Tongue in Cheek

    Thank you Diogenes xx

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  36. Tongue in Cheek

    lol. That would be the day.Blog post galore!

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  37. Tongue in Cheek

    Fluff ball I like that!

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  38. Tongue in Cheek

    lol! So much like what children do! their fun at our expense! lol.

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  39. Tongue in Cheek

    Wow that was brave, I do not think I could do that!

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  40. Tongue in Cheek

    You might be right, but after reading about fear vs phobia, I believe I am afraid. I can go in a room with a dog, but having one jump on my lap was another thing. Though I did not scream or jump off, I was afriad. Thank you for suggesting that, I did go and read about it here is one description I found: http://anxietydisordersymptom.com/3-differences-between-fear-and-phobia

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  41. Tongue in Cheek

    Thank you for the suggestion. BTY Ella is my favorite name ever!

    Reply

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