Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Are Frogs Green?

There are no easy answers especially for someone who sees things in shades of grey.

Those one word answers like- Yes or No- often sound cold or too direct. I prefer the word "maybe" as it is open ended and walks in the middle, actually it skips on both sides of "yes and no." The word "maybe," is very non committed. Often misunderstood and leaves room for imagination.

It also causes problems when a decision needs to be made.

When my children, Chelsea and Sacha were younger we use to play a game that went like this…. I would ask them simple "yes or no" questions like, "Can you drive a car?" or " Do you have brown eyes?" or "Are frogs green?" The object of the game was to respond truthfully without using the words "yes or no." It was a game I invented to help them discover and use other words in English.

At the start of the game we would sing, "You can't say "yes" you can't say "no" what are you going to say….I don't know?"

I still don't know.

There doesn't seem to be any easy answers these days…  especially regarding… well if you are someone like me, just about any question these days.

Do you think I will feel more at ease when life starts ending in periods and not question marks?

Comments

8 responses to “Are Frogs Green?”

  1. Jacklynn Lantry

    Oh dear mon ami, I do not think your life will ever end in periods. I’m afraid you are all about the question mark. Think about it, you wanted to be a priest (and could not understand why that was a problem,) you picked a husband from another country, you raised your kids to be French AMERICANS, without apology. You did the women’s march. Nope, your life will never end in a period…unless you write the entire sentence first;) One of the things I loved about being with you in France was listening to you speak French, unapologetically, with an American accent. I am all about trying to sound french (which of course is impossible) you are proudly American while speaking flawless French (It’s true, remember when Pascale Palun said “Your French is SO good!) I was in awe of your confidence. I do not know if it even registers as confidence to you…but it is confidence. In it’s purest form. No. Your life will never end in a period. You live too boldly for that!

    Reply
  2. Marilyn

    We grow with question marks and stay stagnate with periods. Keep growing, dear friend. I love your game and will try that one on my grandson. Right now I play “I see something (color inserted here). He seems to like it.

    Reply
  3. Jan D-M

    Total truth, Jacklynn.

    Reply
  4. Jan D-M

    The problem with questions is that we don’t always like the answers that come with them. The BEAUTY of questions is that they always leave the door open to possibilities. Periods are about endings; questions are about beginnings. Shall we begin or shall we end? The best question I’ve asked lately has been, “Hmm, what would a roundtrip ticket to Paris over spring break cost?” It was the beginning of an unexpected adventure! Beginnings! Woo hoo!

    Reply
  5. Taste of France

    Some questions are indeed straight yes/no situations (do I love my child? YES. There is no other answer, except even more enthusiastic ways to say YES); other questions are more nuanced and people who try to impose yes/no on them are the ones who are in error.

    Reply
  6. Amylia

    When I lived in Taiwan and was teaching English, my students always said “Maybe.” They would rarely, if ever, respond with yes or no. I know now it is a cultural difference and away for them to not offend, not commit, not say. It leaves everything open ended with a way out. drove me crazy. I outlawed “maybe” from my classroom. Impossible though to outlaw it from one’s life. Sometimes a little ambiguity is useful, I think. Maybe?

    Reply
  7. Kathie

    This reminds me of an exercise we did during student-teaching. We videotaped one another in our classrooms, then evaluated the “order” of our questions to students:
    The lowest order of questions were those that were answerable with Yes/No or True/False.
    The next lowest order of questions were those that could be answered with a single word or phrase that was either correct or wrong.
    Working our way up the figurative food chain, we arrived a higher order questions that required students to explain the reasons for their answers.
    After working on our lesson plans to reduce the lower-order and increase the higher-order questions, we were videotaped again so we could see the improvement and receive further critiques.
    Although it doesn’t sound like it, this was actually a lot of fun (including learning how to operate a late ’60s videotape camera, back when they were still bulky appliances!).

    Reply
  8. Marilyn

    Your questions are life-enhancing. Knowing that most of life’s issues iare varying shades of grey is wisdom but exhausting too. It’s easier to live by rote and have everything fed to you as either black or white, and buying into it without question. Leading to intolerance and extremism in its worst forms. I think women see both sides of issues – all sides of life. Your voice needs to be heard.

    Reply

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