A New Chapter in Being at Home in France

Corey amaro

 

 

Me… I am preparing to open the door. To put on my best smile, and wave: "Have fun! I'll miss you! Be good! Be careful! I love you! Goodbye! See you later…"

The funny thing is as I sit here typing my blog at the kitchen table the thought occurred to me…

When I arrived in France I realized that this was it… That I was most likely going to be living here for the rest of my life. It was a fact I did not look at closely when I married Yann and followed him back to his home country. I was a jumper and asked questions later type of person. As the reality of my decision sank in that visiting a foreign country was one thing, that knowing you are on an extended visit is another, but it is quite another thing to know that this is your life, that this foreign country is going to be your home.

I did not take it in stride. Instead, I stumbled with my stubbornness, cried as I compared France to the States finding fault with everything. Making France my home was not as easy as falling in love. I was homesick. I felt that whatever power I had, whatever courage I had obtained, whatever notion of "I can do anything" had left me standing alone with a massive Eiffel Tower outside.

It took years for me to call France my home. It took becoming pregnant, having children, raising them as a bi-lingual family, it took sending them off to French schools, doing homework with them when I could not read the words properly, being told that parents do not volunteer in the classroom, nor bring cupcakes. It took birthday parties were singing, "APPY BERTDAY" with a French accent was the norm. It took me years of doing everything the French way (baguettes) with a twist of American (Peanut Butter) on the side for me to finally feel home in France.

Having a family made France my home.

That first morning when I arrived in France, as French Husband left for work at seven he kissed me goodbye and said he would be home around eight that evening. As soon as the door shut I was alone in France.

That first morning when I opened my time agenda book as if it could tell me what to do, or who to call. The blank page boldly stared at me. What an odd feeling it was to have time, and nowhere where I needed to go and no one to see. Nervously, I grabbed my orange metro pass, looked in the fridge made a mental note to pick up a few things for dinner, then wondered where the grocery store might be? I grabbed the enormous key to our studio (which was nearly as big as our apartment, and too big for my pocket.) stuffing it in my book "Les Miserables" and walked outside to my new life.

Soon I will be opening the door again to a new world, it feels so familiar in such an odd way.

 

 



Comments

14 responses to “A New Chapter in Being at Home in France”

  1. Your write directly from your heart.
    They touch me deeply each and every one.
    Life is a series of new beginnings.
    I love you my sweet friend.
    Be brave.
    Love and hugs for you all
    Jeanne
    X0X0

  2. Good luck with the next chapter. It will be interesting to hear how Sacha settles into his new life. I don’t know how much you had been in France or lived abroad before moving permanently, but Sacha likely has a much worldlier life experience already. Certainly my own kid does, having grown up in France but visited relatives in the U.S. and Belgium regularly. I didn’t visit Europe until I was out of college. Our kids are citizens of the world, and it’s a good thing for tolerance and understanding.

  3. Sending you private mail…. Love 🙂

  4. Teddee Grace

    People move around a lot more today in their careers, I think, so this probably isn’t a forever thing, and your son has visited the U.S. frequently as do you. Now there’s one more reason!

  5. Corey, I think by now you are as French as American. It’s been a fascinating road, the first steps always the hardest.
    Reading “Les Miserables,” that made me laugh. What about “Bonjour Tristesse?”

  6. THIS!
    Besides, to their great credit, Corey and Yann have encouraged their offspring (as you have yours) to explore the world and grow into responsible adults. These are important measures of parental success.

  7. Corey, Feeling your melancholy. You gave your children wings and they are using them. It’s sad to see them fly, but I know you’re going to clap to see them soaring so far.

  8. Mary Anne Komar

    Dear Corey, my husband and I live about 60 miles north of Seattle, if there is ever anything emergency you can call on me.
    Mary Anne Komar

  9. Ann of Avondale

    Sacha is following his heart. Acceptance…the best thing for something we cannot control (Serenity Prayer). Enjoy your new chapter, Corey.

  10. Ella Dyer

    Dear Corey, Your blog is always a delight to read, it keeps me connect to France when I feel stuck in the US. Funny, I fell in love with France, yet reluctantly return to the US because I do love my wonderful husband just a bit more. Reading your blog helps me see that we all adjust. Keep up the good work and as you’ll see my favorite hashtag on social media #ThanksForBeingAParent.
    Bien cordialement,
    Grandma Ella

  11. And that beautifully written book that so often comes up in comments on your blog is unfolding page by page, chapter by chapter…it will be most assuredly one of my all time favorite reads.

  12. Corey I wonder what difference if would have made for you way back then when starting your new life in France if the Internet and blog were an option. Would it have made things easier I wonder or hindered you from going out and throwing yourself into the French way of life the way you did.

  13. I like that…A citizen of the world. More people should be just that.
    Ali

  14. Liana Munden

    I was really sad when my son got married and moved away with a wife and our 6 month old grandson to the Philippines. It all worked out! My son and I are still really close but things have changed. His wife now calls me mom and now has 4 sons who have blessed be beyond my wildest dreams. Time has passed and so much has been added to my life that now out weighs any loss I previously felt. Take heart wonderful things await!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *