I bet you never thought you would see that blog post title on my blog.
Wonders thankfully never cease.
Those of you who have been reading my blog know I am afraid of dogs, but slowly very slowly conquering my fear of them. Well, the other day when I was out for my daily walk I saw a big black dog, yes that is how I describe dogs by size and color, its underbelly was wet and it wasn't raining and there wasn't a river or a pool around so I assumed it had been roaming for sometime. Often the dog stopped and smelled round as if it were searching for something. At this point, I realized that my first reaction was that I noticing the dog and its behavior and not freaking out like I usually do.
Progress felt like a pat on my back.
The dog did not pay attention to me, it seemed to be distracted or concentrating, I smiled at myself thinking how good I was for trying to understand dog language. As always I have your voices of confidence in my head, as if there is a tape that comes on, "It is okay, dogs are lovely, be not afraid, don't look the dog in the eye, see its tail is wagging, (s)he just wants to be your friend…" I wasn't afraid and that amused my thoughts for awhile, the dog was several steps ahead of me, and then it dawned on me that the dog was lost and trying to find its way home.
The dog had a collar and a tag, I wanted to look at the tag to see if there was a phone number on it to call but I did not know how to go up to a dog and check its tag. I know some of you are probably thinking how silly I am, and most of you would know how to go up to a dog and check its collar. But not me. I have only touched a dog once or twice in my grown-up life and that was with Babette. More than that I was AMAZED that I was even thinking of helping the dog by looking at its dog collar! But I was and it concerned me that I did not know how but wanted to. I felt so sorry for the lost dog.
Eventually, there was a cafe so I went in and asked the patron if he could check the collar of the lost dog. He said he would and I left it at that.
So my question is how do I check a dog's collar without it biting my hand off?
I think I could have done it if I knew how. Funny thing is I am tearing up just thinking about it, I don't know why I have this strong reaction maybe healing brings on tears. Progress is happy tears.
How the healing began…
I am afraid of dogs. It is beyond my control. When I see a dog I instantly think it is going to bite me. Many of you have told me what to do if I encounter a dog while walking. One thing I have learned is not to look a dog in the eye. Something I use to do, better to look a dog in the eye then have it attack you behind your back. But since many of you told me not to look a dog in the eye, I turn my head or better yet look at the ground. Most the dogs I see are behind gates, barking louder than an alarm system. Behind a gate, they still freak me out.
Yesterday while out walking I saw two big dogs on the road ahead of me. Two dogs without anyone around. They were roaming the street unattended. I slowly turned around and walked the other way, I keep my eyes to the ground, put my hands in my pocket, and prayed, "Okay anyone who is praying for me, and please let there be several hundred or so, and you too God, do not let these dogs bite me. Help me to remain calm, because I want to run and scream and jump over a fence."
I heard them as they ran towards me. I could sense fear putting itself on me thick and juicy, bright and loud, with a neon sign, "Bite Me! I am terrified!"
My prayers became serious as I centered down.
The black colored dog walked along one side and the beige colored dog walked along the other side of me. Ying and yang. Noticing that I recalled that in dream language dogs can be seen as a symbol of spiritual guidance, faithfulness, truth, loyalty… I imagined that I was dreaming, that the dogs were guiding me through my fear.
It seemed to calm my nerves so I stayed with it.
The dogs did not bark, the three of us walked for about a mile together. Their tails wagged, and for an instant, I thought they were sweet and probably were lost. But then I thought they might be hungry, and so I had to pretend this was a dream so I wouldn't freak out. I slowly took out my phone and snapped some photos to prove to you that they really did exist.
Then just like that, they went the other way.
Instead of dancing with wolves,
I was dreaming with dogs,
Sacred and scary,
I think I will walk with them whenever I am scared… healing in mysterious ways.
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