The unexpected ways of life. How can I say I understand it when it constantly surprises me?
One day we are celebrating two dear friends' marriage, the next day we are fortunate to be with Chelsea, Martin, and Baby at our friend's home and today we learn that our neighbor and a good friend had committed suicide. I cannot fathom how that can be. Before we left home for a vacation, a week ago to be exact, I saw our friend was showing me the bronze goose head he put on his bike's handlebars where he could hide a key, and how he wallpapered his bike in flowers. He was constantly creating things, like his amazing pumpkin lasagna, or adding a mirror around his window to bring in more light, or tearing down a wall to make the space bigger, I could talk to him from our window to his window. The last time I saw him, a week ago, we talked about baguettes and how the new boulangerie was. I had no idea that he was contemplating an end.
I wish I could go back in time to erase your pain, your doubts, your fears whatever demon that got inside your head and heart. I wish I could have known. Maybe I wasn't listening to the undercurrent in your voice? Was it there? Did I miss the sign?
I feel sorry for your family.
I cannot imagine any of this, although it is true. How sad you must have been under that smile.
Godspeed dear Patrice.
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